P List of Movie Reviews
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Pacific Heights (1990)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
I'm a big fan of Michael Keaton, and I thought he would reach his villainous potential in Pacific Heights.
I mean, look at his face in the movie poster. Is that obvious enough? Unfortunately, I've come away disappointed. Michael Keaton
is just less than effective when he can be so much more. Even worse is the fact that John Schlesinger was the man behind the camera
when in reality he directed a misfire despite the nice neo-noir look. The story makes little sense. I was like, "Are you
really sure?" and came away disbelieving it.
The trouble with Matthew Modine is his cornball face; I wish he would be more serious. That's why Nick Nolte worked
out beautifully well as the father in Cape Fear. Melanie Griffith can be rock-solid and
give a fine performance. In Pacific Heights, she nails it. Hence, Melanie Griffith doesn't get enough credit for being a
great actress that she is.
All in all, there's too much wasted potential in Pacific Heights.
The Pacifier (2005)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
5/06
5/06:
Disney should be embarrassed for releasing something that's degrading like The Pacifier.
The company used to be known for providing wholesome family fun, but this is junk. How can they produce a film that's so
outlandishly racist, stereotypical, and violent?
When I thought Vin Diesel couldn't be that bad of an actor after seeing him in XXX, boy...was I
totally wrong. He's certainly one of the worst I've seen and seriously needs to retire. Vin Diesel, a poster boy for steroids
if I've ever seen one, will make a good trainer for gym rats.
For a kid's film, what's the idea of Vin Diesel showing off his body to little children? Is Disney trying to say that
steroid-ripped bodies are cool? Also, at the same time, violence through guns is perfectly acceptable and the answer
to all problems? That it's okay for boys to taunt girls? That girls should lash out their anger by pummeling boys?
I can't believe the stereotype of Romanian gypsies. Does anyone at Disney have any idea what they went through during the
Holocaust? Another is the use of the words such as "skank" and "balls" in a Disney movie. And so is the display of Nazi
swastikas. It's how far the quality has fallen. What happened to the magic the company used to have?
All in all, Disney lost sight of family values decades ago.
The Package (1989)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/19
4/19:
Now, I can see where The Fugitive came from.
Andrew Davis directs The Package which takes place in Chicago and stars Tommy Lee Jones who will win the Oscar as
Samuel Gerard four years later.
Never mind the similarities, it's a good film that stands on its own. The story is captivating to
follow with many twists and turns, and the tension reminds me of
The Manchurian Candidate,
The Day of the Jackal,
and Roger Donaldson's No Way Out. Great acting, yes, but the story overshadows it.
The performances are solid. Gene Hackman is excellent as usual. His banter with Tommy Lee Jones is fun to watch. Talk about
two outstanding actors. Joanna Cassidy and Dennis Franz, who's always convincing as an undercover detective, do a great job.
John Heard is stone cold.
However, The Package is weak in parts and has transition problems. Gene Hackman's character has it easy for a dangerous
fugitive from the U.S. Army. I hate the James Bond-esque escape he's granted to have. Just put a bullet in the back of
his head and be done with it.
All in all, any movie with Gene Hackman is bound to be good, and it proves to be true for The Package.
Paisà (1946)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/25
8/25:
I waited a long time to start Paisà (Italian for Paisan) after seeing
Roma città aperta.
Once again, it's boring...very boring despite the excellent photography. There are six episodes, making the film
an anthology. None of them connects except for one underlying theme: they're set in Italy during WWII.
Everything is totally random, making me think Roberto Rossellini was filming whatever for the hell of it. I hate
that the film is roughly 70% English and 30% Italian and that Criterion Collection won't put in the subtitles
whenever the former is spoken. It's impossible these characters of different nationalities understood each other.
Remember that Italy was partners with Germany. Therefore, who cares about these people? Look at what they
did in North Africa by running concentration camps and slaughtering over 50,000 innocent civilians. All you have
to do is watch Lion of the Desert. Eventually, Italy agreed to pay
$5 billion to Libya for reparations.
Like I said in Roma città aperta: "Worse is the whitewashing of
history. Let's not forget the Italians, having taken the Nazis' side, played a huge part in killing citizens,
political prisoners, and Jewish people. According to IMDb, 'all the atrocities in the film are attributed to
the Germans. This was due to the policy of national reconciliation which was relevant in Italy during the
filming of the film.' In fact, there wasn't much of resistance going on prior to 1943. Thus, it's easier for
Italy to look good in 1944 only because it had surrendered to the Allies the year before, causing
Winston Churchill to joke, 'In Italy until July 25th there were 45 million of fascists; from the next day,
45 million anti-fascists. But I don't know that Italy has 90 million inhabitants.'"
All in all, there are hundreds of better war pictures than Paisà.
Palmetto (1998)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/03, 1/18
1/18:
To make herself relevant, Elisabeth Shue tries to act sexy in Palmetto in the hopes of landing better
roles but ends up looking ridiculous while seeing her career fade away.
Anyway, how many times have I seen this plot before? And do I have to see a Palmetto bug up close more than
one time? It's just a fancy name for cockroaches! Although the film starts off well and is slightly
neo-noir, it's been Body Heat all over again. Who can believe that
Harry Barber, in a relationship with a hot-looking girlfriend, falls for another hot-looking femme fatale?
Things go south as soon as Harry is ultimately suspected of the girl's murder and flees the bungalow only to
be shot in the shoulder, yet he's fully capable of doing much more to wrap up the story. Curiously, toward the
end, nobody, not even Mr. Malroux, feels anything for the dead girl.
Having done better pictures, Woody Harrelson is wasted although he carries Palmetto well. It's
interesting to see how the bungalow is so close to the Gulf of Mexico. Will the place still hold up against
the ebb and flow of the tide, say, within five years? I highly doubt it.
All in all, Palmetto is too inconsistent as a true neo-noir picture.
The Panic in Needle Park (1971)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/21
4/21:
The Panic in Needle Park is a must-see for all Al Pacino fans.
The simple facts are: 1) This was his first starring film role which almost went to Jim Morrison (yes...of The Doors);
2) His next picture was The Godfather; and 3) It set off four consecutive Oscar
nominations for him from 1973 to 1976.
Using the film for evidence, Francis Ford Coppola fought hard for Al Pacino to be in the Mafia masterpiece
because Paramount thought him a nobody with any movie credentials to speak of. Instead, they wanted Jack Nicholson, Robert Redford,
Warren Beatty, and Robert De Niro for the role of Michael Corleone. Then again, they didn't want Marlon Brando, either.
Evidently, Al Pacino was destined to be a great drama actor, and he appears to be much far ahead of the game in
The Panic in Needle Park. One thing I notice the most is his unbelievable versatility. He can do it all while
inspiring a lot of energy in his co-stars. The scene dramatically changes whenever Al Pacino makes his presence. That's why
The Godfather wasn't too big of a stage for him even though he admitted to feeling out of place.
This one has two up-and-coming actors who will be stars in their own right: Raul Julia (in his debut role) and Paul Sorvino.
One of the narcotics detectives is played by Alan Vint who's well known for appearing, along with his brother Jesse, in a
Southern Gothic thriller called Macon County Line. Kitty Winn isn't bad herself, but what
the heck happened to her afterwards? It turns out she went back to the theater although she popped up occasionally for a film,
most notably The Exorcist.
Although real and gritty, the story is old hat by now. The junkie scene goes on and on for almost two hours with no
vertical spiral in place. Luckily, it has Al Pacino and Kitty Winn to rely on to keep the interest going. Their performances
alone are worth the price for admission. However, I don't feel sorry for their stupid characters. If nothing
changes, I expect them to be dead within ten years.
All in all, The Panic in Needle Park has to be seen, no matter what, for Al Pacino's sake before he'll go on
to have one of the best runs in cinema history.
The Paper (1994)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/23
9/23:
The Paper is a ridiculously overdone play-within-film about the newspaper industry.
Granted, the cast is stunning: Michael Keaton, Glenn Close, Robert Duvall, Marisa Tomei, Randy Quaid, Jason
Robards, and Jason Alexander. That's four Oscar wins among twenty-three nominations, but none of them turns
in a great performance. They all, more or less, overact.
Can you believe the size of the belly on Marisa Tomei? That's crazy. She never had kids of her own, so it was
faked for the film. Of course, somebody has to yell the most clichéd line of all time in the newspaper
business: "Stop the presses!"
All in all, although The Paper is energetic, The Front Page,
most especially the Billy Wilder's version, has already covered everything.
The Paper Chase (1973)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/15
10/15:
Forget Educating Rita which is a hogwash picture about college.
The real deal is The Paper Chase because it offers the most accurate perspective of what graduate school
is like. Timothy Bottoms' and John Houseman's performances are incredible with the latter netting him an Oscar win.
A lot of viewers thought Timothy Bottoms' character was arrogant and stuck-up, but personally, I felt he played
the role to perfection. Kingsfield reminds me of some mathematics professors I had because of their personalities.
His putdowns on the students are very typical, believe me.
Kevin Brooks is an interesting character, too, and many people can identify with him. In fact, all of the characters
are identifiable, and I've met many who are just like them. My opinion is that Kevin took things too far because
he was studying law at Harvard which is the highest standard imaginable. If Kevin can't hack the work, he should've
transfered to a state school to make things easier on himself and will still be an accomplished individual,
regardless.
All in all, The Paper Chase can be either inspiring or too painful for anyone not wanting to relive
the memories of graduate school.
Paper Moon (1973)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/25
8/25:
Obviously, Tatum O'Neal becoming the youngest Oscar winner at age 10 is what gets the most attention for
Paper Moon.
It remains a record to this day, and she was 8 to 9 years old in the film with virtually no acting experience.
To be honest with you, that should've been for the leading, not supporting, role because the movie was 100%
shot from her character's point of view. Had the switch been made, she would've won easily. Either way, it's
a top five performance I've seen a child thespian give.
After appearing in The Bad News Bears, Tatum O'Neal fell off the
Hollywood map for the most part due to drug abuse and her tumultuous marriage to tennis star John McEnroe. It was
just three years ago that she went into a coma by drug overdose and hadn't been the same since then.
Ryan O'Neal does a fine job. He could've gotten an Oscar nomination, but the 70's was a brutally competitive
decade for actors in general. This is him at his best along with
Barry Lyndon. Unfortunately, he punched Tatum after hearing
about it and didn't bother showing up for the Oscars. The black-and-white photography is very close to the
quality of The Last Picture Show. Instead of Robert Surtees, it
was handled by László Kovács.
In case if you didn't understand how the scam worked with the $5's and $10's, everything was sound until the
girl gave back her $5 bill to the cashier for the $10 bill because the cashier mistakenly thought these five $1
in her register and her $5 belonged to the girl. The only way to be confused was through chitchat. Okay, I'll
break it down more in the following series of transactions:
Cashier: $0
Tatum: $5
Now, Tatum buys something for 15 cents and hands the cashier $5.
Cashier: $5
Tatum: $0
Then, the cashier gives $4.85 in change to Tatum.
Cashier: $0.15
Tatum: $4.85
Tatum has another $1 in her pocket which means she now has 5 singles.
Cashier: $0.15
Tatum: $5.85 (5 singles)
Tatum gives $5 in singles to the cashier and asks for a $5 bill.
Cashier: $5.15
Tatum: $0.85
The cashier gives a $5 bill to Tatum.
Cashier: $0.15
Tatum: $5.85
Tatum gives the $5 bill back to the cashier for a $10 bill, hoping that the cashier thinks she has
$5 in singles in the register plus a $5 bill she'll receive and that it'll make sense in the cashier's head.
This is the most crucial part of the scam, and you need to think about it deeply.
Cashier: $5.85
Tatum: $0.85
The cashier gives a $10 bill to Tatum.
Cashier: -$4.15
Tatum: $10.85
Hence, everybody has it wrong...Tatum made $9.85, not $10. That's because she had to take out
another $1 from her pocket. Therefore, the true profit/loss is:
Cashier: -$4.15
Tatum: $9.85
All in all, Paper Moon is an impressive film by Peter Bogdanovich given the tall task of matching the
brilliance of The Last Picture Show.
Papillon (1973)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
1/06, 7/07, 7/11, 5/16
1/06:
Yep, this one did it.
Steve McQueen's claim as one of the greatest actors in the history of cinema is staked in Papillon which is
among the best prison pictures ever made. Dustin Hoffman is equally brilliant as Louis Degas.
All in all, there's nothing like Papillon.
7/07:
The back of the DVD cover for Papillon reads: "Not just a great escape. It was the greatest."
Well, it should be amended to "Not just a great Steve McQueen performance. It was the greatest." Yes, indeed so.
All in all, Papillon is a cinema masterpiece.
7/11:
Steve McQueen is something else in Papillon.
5/16:
Still don't believe Steve McQueen as one of the finest actors ever graced the silver screen?
Well, I present you Papillon. Steve McQueen's performance should have earned him an Oscar nomination. Because of him,
it's simply one of the greatest movies made. The strengths lie in Franklin Schaffner's direction and Dalton Trumbo's
screenplay, both of them being the best in the business.
Although they never got along on the set, Steve McQueen's collaboration with Dustin Hoffman is special. Their
characters feed off each other while being stuck in a humid jungle environment at some faraway foreign country.
All in all, Steve McQueen delivers the finest performance of his career in Papillon, a must-see masterpiece.
The Paradine Case (1947)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/17
7/17:
For a high quality Hitchcock film, The Paradine Case is the least Hitchcockian of them all.
Because of David O. Selznick's interference, it's almost safe to say The Paradine Case was his picture which
turned out to be a big box-office flop. Even Gregory Peck said of Alfred Hitchcock, "He seemed really bored with the whole
thing." The Master of Suspense finally got out of the seven-year relationship with the producer and moved on to bigger
and, ultimately, better films which marked the beginning of his defining greatness.
Sure, the acting is competent, and everything, on the surface, looks good to me. Yet it's so
dreadfully boring. Hardly much happens. It starts and ends without any fanfare. The conclusion has never been in doubt, and
the courtroom drama is a snoozefest to get through. I mean, what the hell? There should be surprises...something...anything
at all...to get things going. But they never happen. It's the most straightforward movie I can recall in years. Even
The Birds, as laughably bad as it was, looks better in comparison.
Gregory Peck is fine. His acting is better than normal and appears more improved than he was in
Spellbound. Hence, Gregory Peck
does what he can with the material. Incidentally, the peruke on his head looks absolutely great. Louis Jourdan makes his debut
in an American picture and steals the show whenever he appears. He would've made a good Heathcliff.
A better actress than Lauren Bacall, Alida Valli is beautiful in black and white. But she's never convincing enough to
make anyone fall head over heels in love over her. Ethel Barrymore received the only Oscar nomination
of the film. But, pray tell me, what did she do? Reportedly, she had a bigger role than what's currently seen which amounts
to three minutes of screen time.
A near Hitchcock look-alike, Charles Laughton is billed third, but his role is shockingly minuscule. I honestly thought this
was a great opportunity for him to appear again in a Hitchcock picture so he could show what he was made of, yet that's it?
What a crime. The worst of them all is Ann Todd. It's obvious she was trying to beat out Joan Crawford for the
Queen of Melodrama title. Her character ruins the movie by making a mountain out of a molehill incessantly. By the way,
Alfred Hitchcock has a cameo thirty-eight minutes into the film when he walks out of the door with Gregory Peck.
All in all, as nearly expensive as Gone with the Wind, The Paradine Case serves an
excellent example of when not to make a quality film.
The Parallax View (1974)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/21
7/21:
If you're looking for another The Manchurian Candidate, this
ain't it.
I've never been so frustrated for the longest time as I had been with The Parallax View. The movie just
refuses to show much despite the great start. What happened to the simple concept called "plot"?
Mainly, it's Warren Beatty, passing for a model with huge head of hair, who's constantly engulfed in darkness
as he moves around. That being said, Gordon Willis has overdone it this time. Wow, what a long ending which
helped me prepare for bed. There are a lot of parallelisms between this film and the RFK assassination.
However, I find it hard to believe that it said the FBI and the CIA weren't involved in any way, just corporations.
Why would they randomly kill? All these men in suits have to do is own a politician by paying him a huge sum of
money and telling him what to do. If the plan doesn't work out, they can simply replace him. Also, it's silly to
see Warren Beatty's character unwittingly becoming a patsy just like Lee Harvey Oswald. If that's the case,
he must be dumb for a reporter!
By the way, how did Joseph Frady, or whatever his name is, survive the boat explosion? Try explaining it to me
with success, and I will maybe tell you where Jimmy Hoffa's body is. On the other hand, the random slideshow
adds nothing of value.
All in all, give me JFK,
The Manchurian Candidate, or
Executive Action any time of the day, but no thanks to
The Parallax View.
Paranoiac (1963)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/11, 12/17, 10/19
2/11:
Dark, brooding, combative, sexy, and absolutely talented, Oliver Reed, once upon a time, was the rage of British
cinema.
As great of an actor as he was, his potential was largely untapped throughout his career which is a shame.
Neverthless, Paranoiac is a wonderful treat for his fans and newcomers alike. Oliver Reed is simply drop-dead
gorgeous in black and white, and it's hard to take eyes off him.
Although saddled with a weak ending, the Hammer Horror picture plays out like an episode in The Twilight Zone with a
lot of twists and turns, and the cast does a nice job of making the story work. But make no mistake: the show
starts and ends with Oliver Reed. Without him, there's no Paranoiac.
All in all, Oliver Reed was a gifted actor.
12/17:
When Oliver Reed appears in Paranoiac, it's literally impossible to take eyes off him, and he's drop-dead
gorgeous in black and white.
Mad, bad, and dangerous to know, Oliver Reed tears up the screen as Simon Ashby the youthful drunk who's set to
inherit his family fortune. If you think he's not the show, you're sadly mistaken. Born in Cannes, Liliane Brousse
was beautiful back then. She didn't have much of an acting career, having appeared in two more films before calling
it quits a year later.
Playing out like an episode in The Twilight Zone with a touch of Psycho,
Paranoiac is a strange addition to the Hammer Horror collection because of the absence of colors. Yet there's
no question that Freddie Francis' photography (although Arthur Grant was in the charge of it) is dazzling.
All in all, Paranoiac begins and ends with Oliver Reed.
10/19:
From start to finish, it's impossible to take eyes off Oliver Reed.
He's mesmerizing in the sublime black-and-white Paranoiac, one of the most well-done movies
about the supernatural although the ending is silly. With serious eyes, he puts his face to work to generate more
evil out of his manipulative character to get people do whatever he wants.
All in all, the more often I watch Paranoiac, the better it becomes.
Parenthood (1989)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/20
1/20:
There exists an underrated Steve Martin comedy, and it's called Parenthood.
I'm still impressed with it as I was in 1989. Ron Howard seamlessly handles the vignettes of four different families that
crisscross throughout the picture. It's a challenging job, but he pulled it off quite well.
It's hard to say which family is the most interesting, but they're all compelling to follow. Each has a different parenting
style, and as a result, the children come out differently which can be contributed to either nature or nuture.
Giving their best performances are Steve Martin and Dianne Wiest. The former should've been nominated, but 1989
was a competitively tough year for leading actors. The latter was actually Oscar-nominated. Their characters are both
special. Ironically, Steve Martin didn't become a parent until 2012 although it seems to come naturally for him.
On the other hand, the cast of many Oscar nominees and winners is outstanding which includes Tom Hulce, Rick Moranis,
Martha Plimpton, Joaquin Phoenix, Keanu Reeves, Jason Robards, and Mary Steenburgen. True to life with never-ending highs
and lows of parenthood, there are many funny moments.
All in all, if anyone thought of having kids after watching Parenthood, it's understandable.
Paris brûle-t-il? (1966)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/08, 3/24
3/08:
Don't be fooled by the tagline on the DVD cover of Is Paris Burning? (Paris brûle-t-il?) which
boasts of having an "all-star cast."
While Gert Fröbe gives the best performance and Orson Welles has good scenes with him, Kirk Douglas offers his
two cents and disappears after five minutes; Simone Signoret, Alain Delon, Jean-Paul Belmondo, and Yves Montand
show up in bit parts; and that's it. In short, it's a terrible soap opera film that runs too long on fumes.
There are countless overly melodramatic scenes to draw sympathy from the audience, and they all look amateurish.
One in particular is a woman looking for her husband and finally finding him before he runs away and gets shot.
When I think about that part as time goes on, the sillier it is.
In a way, Is Paris Burning? feels like an assembly of moments to create a grand show with none of them
tying up together. Every time the word "Paris" is mentioned, especially in the last hour, it's like a magic word
that can unlock doors to the universe of truth. It makes me wish the Nazis bombed the city into smithereens.
Even worse is the inclusion of Anthony Perkins, which is probably the final nail on the coffin, because my
gosh...he doesn't look like he was in the war for more than two seconds! While thinking of him, some alternative
film titles sound better such as Norman Bates Attacks Paris, Norman Bates Battles the Nazis,
and my favorite...Norman Bates Could Have Met Adolf Hitler.
One scene showed a jeep with several men ramming into a wall or a tree, and they all stood up to fall pathetically
to the ground. I couldn't help but rewind the tape and watch the scene over and over while laughing to death. When
the hammy line "In Paris, we have to look our best" was uttered by a French commander, it's the death knell of
Is Paris Burning? for trying to be a serious war film.
On the positive side, I like some of the shots which are aesthetically done. It's probable that certain ideas may
have influenced the making of Schindler's List. Then again, Steven
Spielberg could've learned a lot in terms of what to avoid.
All in all, I wish Paris was burned down instead of the mess I saw in Is Paris Burning?
3/24:
Raising my rating from '3' to '4' for Is Paris Burning?, the French's stunning arrogance is in full display.
They actually think their city is so special, and they're heroes for saving it? Bullshit. When the Nazis came in
1940, the French gave up just like that and laid low the next four years before retaking the city only because
the Allies finally came. Otherwise, they were doing nothing while aiding Nazis in their work. The most heinous
crime they committed was deporting as many Jews as they could, and most were killed during the Holocaust. That
being said, who the hell cares about Paris? Just burn it already.
All in all, Is Paris Burning? is pathetic.
Paris When It Sizzles (1964)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
Given the pairing of William Holden and Audrey Hepburn for the second and last time, Paris When It Sizzles
is far better than Sabrina.
It may be that Audrey Hepburn had become a seasoned actress at this point. She's at her classical best as the
typist while William Holden is a longtime outstanding actor who turns in another strong performance. He's the
main reason why Paris When It Sizzles works while she's happy to oblige.
I don't get why the film was a box-office failure back then, and people didn't like it, too. The only negative
is the writing which can be overwhelming at times, especially at the beginning. The film within the film, if it
ever comes to fruition, is the worst, but thankfully, Richard Benson knew better by throwing his script into
the fireworks.
It's not that my time was wasted, but the editing is clever to accommodate the absurdities. If anyone wants to
be a screenwriter, this is the perfect place to begin to learn the process. I like how William Holden described
some movie techniques and types of actors and then poked fun of them including Marlon Brando. Even two films
that starred Audrey Hepburn are ironically mentioned:
Breakfast at Tiffany's and
My Fair Lady which wasn't yet made (Paris When It Sizzles was actually
filmed in 1962 but didn't get released until two years later).
All in all, Paris When It Sizzles is worth watching for William Holden and Audrey Hepburn, but the
screenplay needs to be pared down.
Paris, Texas (1984)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/06
2/06:
Paris, Texas is a film that injects a somber mood into the paradox of a man's search for his missing wife while
reconnecting with relatives.
While all of that is fine by me, I've been mainly ticked off by the running length and the director's decision to be pointlessly
abstract. It's the fatal flaw in terms of trying to attract an audience. As a result, hardly anyone showed up at the theatre.
The message is often unclear and obscure. Eventually, I gave up trying to figure it out. The acting ranges from
fair to good, and I like the cinematography.
All in all, Paris, Texas is akin to an emperor having no clothes on.
Parkland (2013)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/24
8/24:
Talk about rewriting history.
Everything about Parkland is awful. No wonder why one of the producers was Tom Hanks. They had to play
it safe. Almost everything portrayed in the film isn't what actually happened. Worst of all, during the critical
moments, I couldn't see anything, and when there's nothing related to JFK, it's easy to capture everything.
Such ridiculous shit.
This is what occurred on November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas. JFK was shot multiple times, most especially in
the front, which means that somebody at the grassy knoll did it and ultimately blew away the back of JFK's head
with another bullet through his throat. Supposedly situated on the sixth floor of the Texas School Book
Depository behind JFK, Lee Harvey Oswald had nothing to do with it; he was just a "patsy" as in somebody who was
set up to take the fall. In fact, he didn't know what was going on and wasn't exactly where he's supposed to
be at the moment when JFK was assassinated. After finding out the truth for the first time, it was too late.
Hence, Jack Ruby entered the picture to shut him up permanently.
The gun that Lee Harvey Oswald allegedly used, the Mannlicher-Carcano, is the worst piece of shit anyone can
use to kill a person from 1,000 yards. Everybody, even the skilled snipers, tried the gun and concluded it
just couldn't be done. It's because every time the rifle fired a bullet, you had to pull back the dead bolt and
take your time to recalibrate and then resight the target which is a long while. All of the shooting, which is
three bullets in total, as captured on the Zapruder film took six seconds, but nobody was able to accomplish it
within that amount of time. Therefore, the gun was planted along with a bogus paper trail.
There's so much information that it's hard to put everything down in this review, so I highly recommend you
read Jesse "The Body" Ventura's book
They Killed Our President: 63 Reasons to Believe There Was a Conspiracy to Assassinate JFK. I know you may
be skeptical because of the author, but it's extremely accurate, well-written, and logical. Also, he summarized
everything as taken from many JFK conspiracy theory books, so I consider this one the be-all and end-all. The
media has been helping cover it up because everybody knows the government, LBJ, the CIA, the FBI, the Secret
Service, the Mafia, the Texas oil millionaires, and the anti-Castro people conspired together to kill JFK. After
it happened, the Secret Service illegally stole his body from Parkland while the limousine (a literal murder
scene!) was quickly taken to Ford Motor Company's Rouge Plant in Detroit, Michigan, in order to be destroyed and
refurbished.
Anyway, back to Parkland...like I said, it's awful and full of lies. The acting sucks, and the
emotions...I don't care about any of the characters. I only wanted to see the film to find out how much
everybody lied about the events, and I came away extremely disgusted. It's like being stabbed in the back by
the Warren Commission once more on top of Arlen Specter's über preposterous "magic bullet" theory. Of all people,
Vincent Bugliosi of Helter Skelter fame wrote the book
Reclaiming History Four Days in November: The Assassination of President John F. Kennedy. As a
result, I've lost so much respect for him.
All in all, just stay away from Parkland, and instead go with JFK to get
the truth of what really happened.
The Party (1968)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/04, 4/14
4/14:
I saw The Party several times in the past, and for some reason, it has remained a memorable movie.
It was spontaneously different and unusual from what I had been accustomed to. Seeing the film again, the charm still
works although I hate Peter Sellers. He tries to pass himself for an Indian with all the stupid stereotypes. To be
honest, he's good, and most of his antics were improvised during the filming.
All in all, The Party is one of the fewest films that's different and unexpected yet succeeds.
Party Monster (2003)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/21
3/21:
Macaulay Culkin may be über famous for Home Alone, but his greatest performance
lies in Party Monster.
For some random reason, I had been familiar with Michael Alig, the leading member of the Club Kids during the
80's and 90's, and his murder of a drug dealer. I found out he died of heroin overdose last Christmas Eve but
hadn't seen the film until now. The wait has been well worth it.
One true sign of a film overcoming the poor celluloid quality is through either acting or writing.
Party Monster succeeds on both counts. Forget the look or the ubiquitous gay theme; the big surprises
are Macaulay Culkin and Seth Green. Both deserved Oscar nominations. It's clear they put a lot of work into
their roles.
The longer the show went on, the more curious I was if the filmmakers would show how the murder happened. Then,
they were about to cheat me by using imagination alone through words. I was going to be disappointed, but
luckily, they made good on the promise. So, this is what happened: Michael Alig dismembered Andre "Angel"
Melendez, stuffed his body parts in bags, and threw them in the Hudson River.
Speaking of Oscar nominations, two more should've gone to Richie Rich and Michael Wilkinson for costume design and
the entire team for makeup which are first-rate. In fact, according to IMDb: "Around 1,000 costumes were
used—a major achievement for a film with such a small budget. Many costumes were originals culled from
the Club Kids themselves which contribute to the authentic feel of the overall design and look of the film."
Based on the book Disco Bloodbath by James St. James, the writing by co-directors Fenton Bailey and Randy
Barbato is excellent as well.
All in all, thanks to Macaulay Culkin's comeback after a nine-year absence in cinema and Seth Green shedding his
doofus personality, Party Monster is a stunning revelation of their wonderful acting talents.
A Passage to India (1984)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/12
11/12:
A Passage to India is one of the worst and most racist pictures ever made.
The Indian stereotypes are quite appalling. Sickening to watch is the reduction of Dr. Aziz to some sort of caricature.
Although David Lean tries to make a point, racism is still heavily pronounced throughout. Look at the Indian judge
for the case, and look at the Indian lawyer friend of Dr. Aziz.
Why...why...why use Alec Guinness, a white man doused in makeup, for an Indian? Hundred millions of Indians in the world,
and they can't find one to play his character. Now, what the hell is that on Alec's lips?
The climax, the rape...oh, please, nothing happened! Then, I have to endure the silly trial which saw the accuser to take
back what she said that subsequently freed Dr. Aziz because quite frankly...nothing happened! What I just went through is
a STUPID THREE-HOUR FILM ABOUT NOTHING BUT STUPID, SILLY, AND CRAPPY INDIAN STEREOTYPES. And the worst part of the entire
travesty? It's listening to the dialogue which smacks of high class snobbery. I repeat: HIGH...CLASS...SNOBBERY. Some of the
classics are:
OH, DEAR.
I'VE HAD A VERY TRYING DAY.
OH, DEAR.
QUITE RIGHT.
OH, DEAR.
QUITE RIGHT.
MY DEAR.
PLEASE DO.
QUITE RIGHT.
OH, DEAR.
I'VE HAD A VERY TRYING DAY.
I RATHER LIKE MYSTERIES, BUT I RATHER DISLIKE MUDDLES.
OH, DEAR.
One more note of racism: look at the DVD cover. Do you see Victor Banerjee's name anywhere there? Oh, wait a minute...who
is he, you ask? Yeah, well...forget about it. By the way, is there an uglier woman than Judy Davis? David Lean really lost
the directorial touch given the number of overrated pictures and bombs that had occurred during the late part of his
career: Doctor Zhivago, Ryan's Daughter, and
this godforsaken crap.
All in all, A Passage to India is perfect for white supremacists.
Passenger 57 (1992)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/04, 7/18
7/18:
What should somebody do when an airplane has been hijacked?
Always bet on black. That's John Cutter's motto in Passenger 57 which is an all-thrill actioner,
thanks to the high-octane performances by Wesley Snipes and Bruce Payne.
However, the ending is such a downer every time I see the film. It's like everybody just gave up, allowing Charles
Rane to go out in a weak manner. This explains why Passenger 57 is only eighty-four minutes long which is
surprisingly short for an action-adventure flick.
During the final fight between John Cutter and Charles Rane, it's almost impossible to open the door due to cabin
pressure. If it's, by some miracle, open, they will be quickly sucked out of the airplane 35,000 feet above sea
level. At that height, it will have to be around minus 65 degrees Fahrenheit and barely any oxygen to breathe.
For some weird reason, after giving a great villainous performance, Bruce Payne disappeared from cinema. I've
never seen him in anything else. In regard to his character, why does the FBI transport a dangerous terrorist
in a plane that's full of unsuspecting passengers? That's a job for the U.S. Marshals, and why a commercial
airliner? Use the government's.
When Cutter was led down the stairs by Louisiana's finest in blue, he mysteriously had no handcuffs on before
making his getaway. How is that possible? By the way, counties don't exist in Louisiana; they're rather called
"parishes." If an airfield is too small to accommodate a giant airplane, then just say so and explain
why. There's no point in trying to overdramatize the event if nothing bad will happen.
All in all, if your suspension of disbelief can be triggered for a short time, Passenger 57 will prove
to be an entertaining film with plenty of kick-ass action.
Passing Glory (1999)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/20
10/20:
In spite of Hoop Dreams, Steve James is a mediocre director.
Hardly much happens in Passing Glory. Sure, there's a racial tension here and there, but I've seen it all
before in countless pictures. Here, Steve James isn't saying anything new; therefore, he uses basketball as an
excuse to pull in the viewers, yet the "championship" game at the end is boring to watch.
The acting is all right but is almost on the high school play level. A strong actor who's unfortunately not in
many films, Andre Braugher's skit is getting old by now. It's time for him to change gears. Rip Torn is fine. I
knew who that was when he first showed his face, so it's nice to see Arthur Agee again; he could've done more
movies.
There was a secret game played in New Orleans between St. Augustine's all-black team and Jesuit's all-white team
which occurred on February 25, 1965. The former was the champion of the Louisiana Interscholastic and Literary
Organization, which was the sanctioning body of the state's black schools as recognized by the all-black
newspaper The Louisiana Weekly, while the latter was the state championship winner of the Louisiana High
School Athletic Association in Class AAA (the highest classification) as recognized by the all-white
The Times-Picayune.
Unlike the film, St. Augustine won in blowout by the score of 81-59. Father Joseph Verrett decided not to watch
because he didn't like the fact that the game was being played in secret. Reverend Robert H. Grant (Rip Torn)
actually came up with the idea. There was no NBA logo on the basketball back then.
All in all, Passing Glory is a passable film about the first integrated game in New Orleans high school
basketball history.
The Passion of Darkly Noon (1995)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
The Passion of Darkly Noon is a strange, surrealistic cult flick.
The cast looks impressive on paper: Brendan Fraser, Ashley Judd, and Viggo Mortensen. I'm sure the film was
totally passed over by the public because they weren't yet well known. Looking back, I can say now the first
two gave top-notch performances of their careers. There's nothing negative or outlandish in what they did.
What got my attention is the cinematography. It's quite unusual for 1995; director Philip Ridley made a
calculated risk of using a strong yellow light in the center of almost every scene. The only film I can recall
doing something similar is Reflections in a Golden Eye. As a
result, it pays off dividends, turning the whole show into a metaphor.
Angelic-looking, Callie is the temptation, but Darkly Noon can't have her. Therefore, he uses excuses from the
Bible to point out her sinful ways. Over time, it becomes apparent he's a deeply disturbed, brainwashed
individual, believing literally anything what the book or people, especially his parents and Roxy, say. To prove
he's special, Darkly Noon wraps himself around with a barbed wire and does the Lord's work to punish the
transgressors as if it's Apocalypse Now.
All in all, after liking what I saw in The Passion of Darkly Noon, I plan to check out Philip Ridley's
other film (he made just three in total): The Reflecting Skin.
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
5/14
5/14:
The Passion of the Christ garnered a lot of attention in 2004, but I wasn't caught up in the hype.
Fast forward to ten years later. I was browsing through my library's DVD collection for something to pique my interest,
and The Passion of the Christ was just sitting there. I figured I'd give it a try.
Afterwards, I wish I never saw the movie, regretting my decision ever since. The thing is: I
barely watch movies made after 2000 because almost everything I've seen thus far does not resemble good cinema in any shape,
form, or manner. The Passion of the Christ perfectly illustrates my stance.
The film brings out the worst of everything. It's the fake acting that I cannot stand. It's the constant stream of melodrama
in terms of how characters behave, feel, think, and speak. It's the free-for-all ultra-graphic torture. It's the unrealistic
depiction of what a human being is capable of absorbing. It's the impossibility of physics. It's the unmerciful pace that
moves slow like molasses in January. It's the vapid storyline that conveys nothing of significance.
All in all, Braveheart is what I call terrific entertainment, but
The Passion of the Christ is the total opposite.
Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid (1973)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/09
3/09:
I'm a big fan of Sam Peckinpah's films because of his style, and I thought Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid
would be more of the same.
Unfortunately, it didn't live up to my expectations. Is Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid meant to be a Western rock
'n' roll picture or what? After looking up some information on the internet, it turns out that I watched the 2005 bastardized
version. So, I guess I'll have to take a gander at the other one someday, but it will be years before that happens.
The cast is horrendous. Why James Coburn when either Clint Eastwood or Lee Marvin will do? Why Kris Kristofferson when
anyone else will be more preferable? Why Bob Dylan given the fact that he contributes nothing?
All in all, Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid is a stupid movie.
A Patch of Blue (1965)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/17
2/17:
A Patch of Blue is almost a cross between The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter and
The Miracle Worker.
The true star of the show is Elizabeth Hartman who plays an uneducated blind girl falling in love with a black man
and therefore was Oscar-nominated in a debuting role. She displays the correct emotions every single step of the way, and
how she felt after being shown the light by her male friend is very much genuine.
For her character, Elizabeth Hartman wore a pair of opaque contact lenses to make herself truly blind. In short, it's a
great acting performance. Sadly, the actress committed suicide by jumping out of her apartment five stories high
when she was 43 due to depression after suffering from mental illness for many years.
Once again, Sidney Poitier is fantastic. Having appeared in many important pictures, he made his mark as a fine
actor, turning in strong performances that are timeless. It's easy to identify with Sidney Poitier's character because he's
a universal representation of the audience.
1965 was a weak year for the Oscars which meant Shelley Winters won the award for best supporting role. It's nothing
special; just a typical, melodramatic performance. Perhaps the voters seeing her this way was shocking for them, so they must
have liked the change of scenery or maybe they loved her trashy blond hair and tight clothes that accentuated her big boobs.
Anyway, I have to raise a slight objection of how things went down during the ending. The blind girl was madly in love
with her male companion. But he didn't see it that way, hence the peck kiss on her forehead, while feeling the girl
clingy and needy. So, as a way out, he decided to call the school for the blind to take her away.
At the end, he came out looking noble and feeling like he did a good deed because it's all about saving the girl from an
abusive home which, sad to say, happens quite often to people with severe disabilities. To soften the blow for her in
terms of marriage, he said she should wait in a year to see where they stand. But really, he's only getting rid of her.
One interpretation of this is she should meet many people to expand her horizons and then see if she still feels the
same about him.
Why I don't like the ending, which is open-ended and a repeat of what happened to Blanche DuBois, is what if
the blind girl didn't ask to be saved? I mean, is it Gordon Ralfe's right to have her taken away because he thinks it's
the most appropriate thing to do? Maybe he should let her make the decision? Overall, it seems to be done
out of pity, and a sainthood should be granted to him.
Honestly, I don't view A Patch of Blue as a picture about interracial relationships or "love is color blind." That's
ridiculous and irrelevant, and I don't care if it's 1965. On the other hand, I couldn't tell where the film took place which does
make a big difference. It seemed the South, but the attitudes and the setting made it look somewhere in New York
City. But the whole thing was shot on location in Los Angeles.
All in all, A Patch of Blue is a great film, but the ending is sanctimonious at best and insulting at worst.
Path to Paradise (1997)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
Path to Paradise tells a chilling story of how the bombing happened at the World Trade Center in 1993.
Even more chilling is the final line of the film: "Next time, we'll bring them both down." It was actually said by
the mastermind bomber himself which did eventually happen...four years after the film was made.
Despite the awful camera work, the director has done a good job of making the complicated story easy to follow.
As difficult as it's to remember the characters' names for such films, I'm able to here which is a
rare accomplishment. The acting is top-notch, and the performances are realistic.
It's the story that kept me glued to the screen which is fascinating. I can't
fault the FBI for dropping the ball because the supervisor was right: there's not enough evidence to move forward.
Emad Salem had done everything possible to help. Therefore, I understand why he should've been paid one million
dollars for his cooperation in the apprehension and conviction of the terrorists who were involved with the bombing.
All in all, kudos to everybody for making Path to Paradise possible.
Path to War (2002)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
5/17
5/17:
Path to War is maybe the most compelling picture on the Vietnam War, at least from a political perspective.
For the final film of his long great career, John Frankenheimer details as much as possible about what went down at
the White House with LBJ, Robert McNamara, and Clark Clifford, among others, dealing with the Vietnam War for
165 long minutes, and every bit of it is as fascinating as Citizen Kane.
It's like watching a train wreck, making it difficult to keep eyes away. Now, we come to the most important question
of the film: is it historically accurate? Looking up the internet and reading through the comments, I've come to the
conclusion there isn't much to dispute. So, yes...Path to War is historically accurate.
The most infamous event of the Vietnam War is the Gulf of Tonkin incident which was staged to compel the United States
into war with North Vietnam. It didn't have to happen, and the United States had no business being in Vietnam. Hence,
the whole war was a mistake, and countless lives were lost for nothing.
The whole domino theory is a myth. Who cares if the countries turned to communism? That's not a threat to the
world but to corporations that want to preserve capitalism in order to conquer markets everywhere. They eventually did
but at a great cost to people and the environment which would probably be the undoing of civilization as we know it.
One reason for the loss of the U.S. support for the Vietnam War, which cannot be understated, is the extensive amount of
media coverage that was unfolding before the public which is unprecedented. American viewers saw too much on TV, having
become shocked by the atrocities. Therefore, the protests made a huge difference in forcing the White House to withdraw
from the war although it didn't happen during LBJ's but Nixon's term. The White House learned a valuable lesson from it by
making sure to curtail media's access to the war in order to keep the public deaf and dumb.
Back to Path to War, I have to say the acting is absolutely first-rate. The best performance goes to
Michael Gambon, who's well known as the nasty guy in
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover. His likeness to
LBJ is freaky. As for Alec Baldwin, it's the best and most serious work of his career. As Robert McNamara, he
found a perfect role and put all the pieces together to place the stamp on what a great actor he is.
Forget the math. A case in point: Super Bowl LI. The New England Patriots was down 3-28 with two minutes left in the 3rd quarter.
The probability of the Falcons emerging as champions at that point was 99.5%. No team in the history of Super Bowl had ever
come back from more than a 10-point deficit to win the game. At that moment, it looked safe to place a million-dollar bet on
the Falcons to hoist the Lombardi trophy at the end. Now, we know how that went down.
Again, forget the math. It doesn't matter. Nobody can measure the heart and will of
people. That's what happened with the U.S., believing it could defeat Vietnam given its puny militaristic capabilities.
It's not a small country that people think it is. At the time, more than 30 million lived there; today, the poulation is
thrice that. During the Vietnam War, the United States sent roughly half a million soldiers. Do the math, and you can see
why it wasn't going to work out.
By the way, the Great Society, which was the most ambitious of its kind since FDR's New Deal, is widely regarded as a
failure. It's just impossible. LBJ was, at heart, a racist person who used the word "nigger" freely. Paradoxically, he
was all for signing the Civil Rights bills although he voted against them during his time as congressman. Now, that's
what I call a "politician."
By the way, the incident about the man dousing himself in gasoline before striking the match did happen. His name was Norman
Morrison, and it occurred outside right below Robert McNamara's Pentagon office. Today, he's a hero in Vietnam, and there's
a street in Da Nang named after him.
All in all, Path to War is a great political docu-drama and a fitting end to John Frankenheimer's illustrious
directorial career.
Paths of Glory (1957)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
9/13
9/13:
Now, I have seen everything by Stanley Kubrick except for The Killing and
Fear and Desire.
Because of films like 2001: A Space Odyssey,
Spartacus, and Barry Lyndon, I consider him as one of the
best directors. Yet because of films like Dr. Strangelove,
A Clockwork Orange, The Shining, and
Full Metal Jacket, Stanley Kubrick is among the worst directors.
Paths of Glory has solidified his place more in my Best Directors list. The three reasons why it works are: Kirk Douglas'
performance, story, and cinematography.
It's nice to see the lack of political correctness through soldiers' actions, and the outcome is well-done and anti-Hollywood. As
for the cinematography, there's nothing like black-and-white images of trenches and stately buildings and rooms.
Of course, it had to be the French given the fact that the country suffered defeat in just about every war there was in
history since 1648. Paris was almost conquered by the Germans in WWI and, without any effort, was finally capitulated to
the Nazis in a matter of days in the next war.
As a matter of fact, WWII was made possible by France because of the harsh terms as dictated in the Versailles Treaty.
While at it, the French installed a shameful Vichy government as a means to collaborate with the Nazis which helped to
facilitate the deportation of 75,000 Jewish residents, and most were killed in the Holocaust.
After the war, France was defeated by Algeria and Vietnam, and Charles De Gaulle refused to have a working relationship
with some countries, pushing for the buildup of atomic weapons. It is true that every time France established a foreign
policy, it proved a blunder, forcing other countries to clean up its mess.
Oh, hey, how about the Dreyfus affair? I don't think France had ever gotten over the shameful fiasco. When the national
soccer team was falling apart during the 2010 World Cup, the government officials declared an emergency meeting to discuss
what to do. Now, that's a joke of a country.
All in all, Paths of Glory is a remarkable film by highlighting everything that's wrong with France.
The Patriot (1998)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/20
10/20:
I thought I had seen all of Steven Seagal's 90's movies, but somehow, The Patriot completely escaped
my attention.
Back then, if somebody said, "Want to watch a Steven Seagal flick?," I would automatically think of Aikido, lots of action,
and the Weaver stance. The Patriot? Barely any of them is shown. There's maybe a martial arts move every thirty minutes.
At one point, Seagal does something incongruous: looking at the structure of viruses through a microscope. Whaaaa....?
The $25 million direct-to-video film states that NAM-37 is "ten times the potency of anthrax." But I'm confused here: for a
leading immunologist in the country, shouldn't Steven Seagal know better to take protective measures after establishing
contact with patient zero? Worse, he doesn't attempt to do the same thing for his (real-life) daughter.
Acting-wise, Steven Seagal is lifeless. Two wannabes appear: Burl Ives and Richard Farnsworth. The ending is
silly: flower petals dropped from the sky to defeat a deadly virus. Yeah, right... *eyes roll* On a side note, director
Dean Semler won the Best Cinematography Oscar for Dances With Wolves, hence the Montana
landscape for The Patriot. But that's not why I wanted to see the film.
All in all, The Patriot is low in action and late to the party by a good three years after the releases of
12 Monkeys and Outbreak.
The Patriot (2000)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/05
6/05:
The Patriot is a cheesy extension of Braveheart.
Most of it is ripped off from The Last of the Mohicans, a couple of David Lean's
pictures, and Ben-Hur, among others.
Coupled with terrible acting performances, most especially from Heath Ledger, the story is boring. I literally laughed
when the church was burned down. Why not substitute Tim Roth for Tavington? It would've done more to raise the believability factor.
All in all, Mel Gibson can do much better than this unredeemable popcorn junk.
Patriot Games (1992)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/04, 9/08, 8/18
9/08:
Patriot Games is a thrilling yarn by Tom Clancy with a new kind of action hero in Jack Ryan.
I love the mystery, the wild goose chase through data analysis, and the action that comes afterwards. The script is
refreshingly intelligent while the performances are awesome. Sean Bean will forever be remembered for this. It's Harrison
Ford, not Alec Baldwin, who nails it. In fact, he's Jack Ryan. Anne Archer is perfect as his wife.
Easily, a great movie moment is when Jack Ryan visited Paddy O'Neil at the bar and said, "I will
fucking destroy you." My favorite scenes are the foiled assassination attempt and the ending with the speedboat.
All in all, thanks to Harrison Ford, Patriot Games is what I call a super-duper thriller and a smart one at that.
8/18:
Although Clear and Present Danger is the best of the Jack Ryan franchise,
Patriot Games is entertaining with a strong story.
Sean Bean has made his career out of playing bad guys, but he'll always be remembered the most for this. It's a perfect,
fitting character for him. Harrison Ford is fun to watch and is so much better than Alec Baldwin as Jack Ryan. He has a
great line when confronting Richard Harris: "I will fucking destroy you." Cromwell must have been left shaking in his
boots...or perhaps not.
I like the detective work at the CIA building, which is an underrated aspect, but I don't like the fact that Jack
Ryan used his position to seek revenge for what happened to his family. It's certainly close to what's best described as a
state-sponsored murder, hence the poster tagline: "Not for honor. Not for country. For his wife and child."
On a side note, Clear and Present Danger is the first film ever to be filmed
at Langley, Virginia, the location of the CIA headquarters. I suppose it has a lot to do with Tom Clancy because he brought
credibility to the organization.
All in all, Clear and Present Danger is an underrated espionage thriller
with plenty of terrorism.
Patton (1970)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/04, 11/13, 8/21
11/13:
Any biographic sketch of an important yet flawed character is always interesting.
And that's the case for General George S. Patton, the enigmatic gung-ho commander of the United States Seventh Army in the
Mediterranean and European theaters of World War II. It's George C. Scott, winning and then refusing the Oscar for his
performance, who shines the most and proves why he was a remarkable actor of his generation.
Right from the start, the unusually different, if somewhat watered down, introductory speech by the famed general establishes
what kind of film Patton will be. The basic goal is to show how myopic and vainglorious he is in the
real world and how politically incorrect he can be at times. Nonetheless, it's fascinating and fatalistic at once as the
events unfold. Of course, this has ramifications for his standing in the upper echelon when it comes to being granted the
command and directive to lead all of the Allied forces into the heart of Nazi Germany.
All in all, Patton is a military classic that'll need another viewing if it still stands the test of time.
8/21:
The opening scene of Patton is among the most famous in cinema history, setting the tone for what's to come.
Unfortunately, it's a boring biopic that's long to sit through. George C. Scott is magnificent, becoming the first actor
ever to refuse the Best Actor Oscar. Take him away, and there's nothing going for the film. The Oscar-winning screenplay isn't
impressive, either, because it's not well-stuctured, failing to explain a lot. Instead, it prefers to rely on many mundane WWII
battles with archaic equipment to fill in the time.
Although the infamous slapping incident is the hallmark of Patton's career, a lot of stuff is missing such as his
participation in the very first pentathlon during the 1912 Olympics, his anti-Semitic views, the failed Task Force Baum to
save his son-in-law or the disastrous Hammelburg raid, and his death during a freak auto accident just six months after
V-E Day which became the basis of the sequel The Last Days of Patton. They
tried to make Patton seem like he was the greatest general, but in truth, many people didn't like or respect him and he wasn't
that important in the grand scheme of things.
All in all, George C. Scott's Oscar-winning performance is the only reason to watch Patton.
The Pawnbroker (1964)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/16
11/16:
Forget the fact that Sidney Lumet directed The Pawnbroker or the fact that Rod Steiger was nominated for Best
Actor Oscar.
The Pawnbroker, which is the first American movie to deal with the Holocaust from the viewpoint of a survivor, is
one of the most boring, dated movies I've seen in years. Hardly much happens.
Every time a shot of the concentration camp is shown, the moment is so short and murky that I'm unable to make heads
or tails of it. Now, we know the Jewish were rounded up and sent away for either work or death. Pretty much, Rod
Steiger pretends to have suffered the horrors of concentration camp, but really, he's just an actor. The whole thing
isn't working out for me.
Jaime Sánchez, in his motion picture debut who will be memorable in
The Wild Bunch, doesn't help, either, as he turns in a hammy performance
that's suitable for the theater. I must have missed him somewhere as it's the first film for Morgan Freeman.
The blood used is chocolate syrup as it's often taken advantage of in black-and-white films. Alfred Hitchcock
applied it a great deal during the famous shower scene in Psycho. On the
other hand, The Pawnbroker is the earliest black-and-white Hollywood picture I can recall that features a
black woman in the nude.
All in all, Schindler's List supersedes The Pawnbroker.
The Pawnshop (1916)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Thanks, Charlie.
You put me to sleep for hours after watching mere thirteen minutes of The Pawnshop.
All in all, nobody needs sleeping pills as a Chaplin reel will do.
Payback (1999)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/23
8/23:
Is Payback the correct title for this comic-book Mel Gibson picture?
From start to finish, the dominant theme has been pain. Some of it, especially the threshold, is unbelievable.
So, why not call the film Pain? Anyway, everything has been silly and cartoonish. The premise is
impossible to believe: one guy takes on the entire mob by getting rid of the top heads. Yet I hardly see foot
soldiers which should number in the hundreds. At the same time, he can be easily taken by surprise.
Mel Gibson is Mel Gibson while the rest of the cast is fine. There's nobody to like despite the misleading
tagline: "Get Ready to Root for the Bad Guy." The color image is weird; Ericson Core must have been a wannabe
student of Gordon Willis' school of dark cinematography.
All in all, Payback is high on sadomasochism but low on entertainment.
Payday (1973)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/24
10/24:
Shot on location in Selma, Alabama, Payday may have a slow start, but it gets better over time.
A lot of it reminds me of Five Easy Pieces, and Rip Torn, who's famous
as Artie from The Larry Sanders Show , is certainly the poor
man's Jack Nicholson. Simply put, it's a brilliant film of character study. Everybody is deeply sketched, and
I'm surprised to see how good the show had become in a redneck way.
What's not recognized until the end is that Payday is Southern Gothic. Although charming and likeable,
Maury Dann is a self-centered, psychotic country-and-western singer who must have everybody do the work for him
and also take the fall if things go bad, hence the handler for a manager. Of course, his personal life is a mess as
evidenced by his loony mother and broken marriage with kids whom he never sees. He picks up women and uses them for
sex; when they've run out of use, he emotionlessly moves on. By the way, the killing wasn't his fault
as it happened in the name of self-defense.
When Maury Dann died at the end which led to his car spinning out of control, I thought he had a heart attack,
probably from the drugs he was abusing for so long. If that didn't happen, I wouldn't have thought of the
aforementioned genre. Anyway, the performances are impeccable, and it may be Rip Torn's finest hour in cinema,
having done his own singing. Elayne Heilveil, Cliff Emmich, Ahna Capri, and Michael C. Gwynne deserve credit, too.
All in all, Payday is a hidden gem that belongs in any list of best Southern Gothic films.
PCU (1994)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
National Lampoon's Animal House that PCU is not.
High school dropouts and graduates alike with absolutely no chance of attending an university think this is
what college life must be like. Well, sure...I've had my share of parties and bizarre situations, but they're
nowhere near the level of PCU.
Despite what anyone believes, the sorority/fraternity life isn't all that, increasing one's chances of being
an alcoholic and arrested for hazing, unlawful pranks, sexual assault, rape, and/or drug dealing. I always
think of these houses as crime dens emblazoned with big Greek letters.
Approximately 20% to 35% of university students will graduate and use the degree for its intended purpose:
jobs, graduate school, or career advancement. The rest will either drop out early and make excuses of why
college wasn't for them, die from either alcohol poisoning or a freak accident, stay stuck taking classes
forever, or be chronically underemployed.
Well, I've tried to stay open-minded while watching PCU. It's just not a good movie. The story makes
no sense on a lot of levels. In reality, the amount of extreme extracurricular activity as shown is only
done by a small subset of the student population. If I were Tom Lawrence, I would run away and find a real
university.
Equipped with a gregarious face, Jeremy Piven doesn't have what it takes to be an engaging actor. Jon Favreau
continues to embarass himself by being a loudmouth, brain-dead nitwit. By the way, the thesis about catching
a Michael Caine or Gene Hackman movie on television any time of the day? Why not save the colossal waste of
time by leafing through TV Guide? Then again, its academic relevance is uh...?
All in all, neither funny nor hip, PCU should be tied to a weighed anchor before being dropped to the
bottom of the deepest ocean.
Pearl Harbor (2001)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/24
8/24:
I saw Pearl Harbor in 2001 and thought it was one of the worst films I had seen in my life.
That was when I knew I was done with Michael Bay's films for good. Trying again, I wondered if it was a legitimate
ripoff of From Here to Eternity, and the answer was no for the most
part. One thing is for sure: nobody behaved like these idiots or dressed like the blatantly whorish nurses with
too much lipstick back in the 40's.
What's with Ben Affleck wanting to show off his perfect teeth constantly? Hint: they are fake. Why must the film be
over three hours? That's way too long. I ran a marathon in much less time.
From Here to Eternity had characters who were readily identifiable.
But in Pearl Harbor, everybody is cardboard and therefore indistinguishable.
As for the accuracy of what happened, I can safely say that nothing is close to true. So, you're better off
watching Tora! Tora! Tora! Everybody tries too hard to convey human
emotions; in other words, it's Michael Bay bullshit. Ditto for the writing which is simply awful and contrived.
All in all, I reaffirm my stance that Pearl Harbor is one of the worst movies ever made.
Peeper (1975)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/16
4/16:
What's with Michael Caine starring in schlocky pictures with crappy scripts?
The one-time Jack Carter is better than that. After giving one of the best performances of his career in
The Man Who Would Be King, Michael Caine agreed to star in one
of the worst movies of his career, and it's called Peeper.
The story sucks. I don't understand what's going on. Why does Michael Caine's character keep carrying
cash in the same briefcase? Why not just take the money? It's not like anybody can make a rightful claim to it.
Peeper claims to make fun of noir pictures. I don't think the producers understood the meaning of
the word "spoof." It's not even funny. Natalie Wood, who hadn't appeared in a film for seven years, is pretty,
but her role is next to hopeless and she's no femme fatale. Rather, it's her cleavage that got me
through Peeper, hence the pun.
All in all, despite the nice-looking cinematography, Peeper is a dud.
Peeping Tom (1960)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/12
10/12:
Peeping Tom is an interesting study of voyeurism, but it's not the correct definition of the phrase.
Serial killer is more like it, but of course, the label wouldn't be coined until Ted Bundy came along. The idea
of breeding freakish traits through the boy is the most fascinating part.
Karlheinz Böhm showcases a good, if unconventional, display of acting. He makes the movie work, and the ending
is all him. On the other hand, Anna Massey, whose performance isn't much different from Böhm's, can be annoying
at times. Watching the blind mother, I was like, "Yeah, right." Try better next time, please.
All in all, buoyed by the well-done English cinematography, Peeping Tom is the kind of film Alfred
Hitchcock could've directed, but kudos to Michael Powell who would see his career destroyed shortly afterwards.
Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/25
10/25:
Which of the following is the weirdest?
The existence of Pee-wee Herman, the breaking news on July 26, 1991, that Paul Reubens was arrested for
masturbating at an adult film theater in Sarasota, Florida, or the mug shot that showed what Pee-wee really
looked like? The incident completely destroyed Paul Reubens' character and the innocence of his works.
On Pee-wee's Playhouse, a Saturday morning TV show that came after Pee-wee's Big Adventure,
Paul Reubens explained, "I'm just trying to illustrate that it's okay to be different—not that it's good,
not that it's bad, but that it's all right. I'm trying to tell kids to have a good time and to encourage them
to be creative and to question things" Uh...message received loud and clear. Plus, I always knew Paul Reubens was
gay, but it wasn't confirmed until now in a documentary, two years after he died. It's debatable whether or
not he was a pedophile.
All right, back to the cult film...it makes for an odd but harmless viewing. There's no comedy but me being
incredulous at the sight of Pee-wee Herman while thinking of the infamous arrest. It's impossible to separate
these two. As for the performances, Paul Reubens is all right while the rest of the cast is forgettable.
How about the moment when a breakfast was prepared for Pee-wee? He poured cereal on the pancakes and ate only
a few pieces before leaving the house. Talk about waste just like the rest of his kitsches, causing me to wonder
what Pee-wee did for a living. He was prepared to offer a $10,000 reward for the return of his bike, but why
not spend 5% of that on a new bike and move on? By the way, the music video...yeah, that's Dee Snider of
Twisted Sister.
All in all, Pee-wee's Big Adventure is a decent start for Tim Burton who was personally selected by
Paul Reubens after seeing Frankenweenie.
Peggy Sue Got Married (1986)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/11
6/11:
I don't know about you, but every time I see Peggy Sue Got Married, I feel like nothing happens.
It's just a one big time travel to experience the nostalgia. Is that the case, or did Francis Ford Coppola
catch the American Graffiti/Diner
fever? Either way, it doesn't work for me, and I've missed the whole point (like as if there's ever one). It
seems Peggy Sue never grew up or learned anything from the trip. Her intelligence, whether it's before
or after, is profoundly average.
The acting is okay, but almost everybody is corny. The oft-repeated line "Why, I oughta...," which is from the
Three Stooges, is stale, dragging the pace down. Look at Jim Carrey who makes it all worse by portraying a drug
addict for the umpteenth time. Hey, Jim, it's time for you to lay off the coke. Nicolas Cage is over the top in
a bad way. The whole poet thing is ridiculous because it's apparent that Michael Fitzsimmons is a giant flake.
If he's super mysterious in a James Dean way, it might have worked, but the fact is: Kevin J. O'Connor is wrong
for the role.
Not likeable for the slightest bit, Kathleen Turner isn't into her character. All Peggy Sue wants to do is
change the fact that she's married to Charlie. Yet it means her two children will never be born. Now, is that
a great sci-fi way of performing an abortion?
There are some unexplained moments. One example is the old high school friend in wheelchair. So, what happened?
The other is the bowl of red M&Ms. What's that all about? I had to look up the internet to find out. It turns out
a synthetic dye on them was linked to cancer. Like I would know. How Peggy Sue acted around certain people seems
to indicate they had died sometime the next twenty-five years. But how did they and when?
All in all, I admit Peggy Sue Got Married is a charming film, but it has a lot of problems.
The Pelican Brief (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/04, 7/08
7/08:
The second novel-to-film of John Grisham's career, The Pelican Brief is a fun, thrilling conspiracy picture.
Thankfully, Joel Schumacher did not direct this because it could've been worse. Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington
are perfectly cast, and they both have great chemistry, making the film work.
Of course, it helps a lot to have a good story that's packed with plenty of substance to keep me interested for two hours
and twenty-one minutes. That's the main strength of John Grisham's early books. Interestingly, it doesn't have visible
enemies as there are a bunch of shadows lurking around.
All in all, John Grisham wrote entertaining novels, yet it's rare for them to turn out well on screen like
The Pelican Brief.
The Pentagon Papers (2003)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/20
2/20:
Don't pay attention to the made-for-TV feel of The Pentagon Papers because it's one
of the best historical dramas made.
Daniel Ellsberg used to work for the RAND Corporation, being knee-deep in the Vietnam War both behind the scenes and at
the front lines. At first, he supported it and thought the war was justifiable and winnable if certain strategies were
followed but totally changed his mind when he came across a top-secret 7,000-page copy in 48 boxes of
Report of the Office of the Secretary of Defense Vietnam Task Force aka The Pentagon Papers that exposed the truth.
He xeroxed three sets of every page, released them to the public, and was tried for treason only to be acquitted
of all charges because of what was going on during the Watergate scandal.
The dialogue is quite dense but appropriate to convey the feel and language of the period. So, kudos to Jason Horwitch for the
screenplay. Initially, I had a tough time to keep up, but it became easier as film went on. As for the acting, it's exemplary.
Alan Arkin, Claire Forlani, and Paul Giamatti have done a nice job.
Robotic and unfeeling, James Spader gives a top two performance of his career with the other being
Sex, Lies, and Videotape. As Daniel Ellsberg, he has moments of silence while
wrestling with himself over questions of morality and legality. It's a powerful scene when a young man named Randy Kehler spoke
in front of the class during the War Resisters League conference at Haverford College, giving Ellsberg the motivation to cross
the Rubicon.
The point is that people were being killed left and right for the wrong reasons during the war. No U.S. President wanted
to admit failure, only using Vietnam as a short-term political gain, and preferred to pass the buck to his successor.
While that was happening, the public didn't know about it, and the media should be blamed for failing to report the
facts. Does this sounds familiar today, huh?
All in all, thanks to The Pentagon Papers, I'm interested in reading the book one day.
The Pentagon Wars (1998)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
8/23
8/23:
Not exactly a comedy, The Pentagon Wars is an eye-opener of how the U.S. military wastes taxpayers' money.
Based on United States Air Force Colonel James G. Burton's book The Pentagon Wars: Reformers Challenge the Old Guard,
it's a description of what went on during the Bradley Fighting Vehicle project. The tank in works is essentially a useless
piece of shit that will kill its own soldiers if approved. Those behind the project did everything possible to push it
through, so they could earn promotions and higher pay grades.
While watching the film, I had become alarmed and disturbed at the same time and thought of the soldiers placing their
trust in a dangerous military equipment they would handle. They're supposed to be protected but not killed inadvertently.
Then, Cary Elwes just did it by giving the Phil speech at the barracks near the end, illustrating my point.
The performances are superb. Kelsey Grammer and Cary Elwes stand out the most. I hate the former's character while
the latter plays a hero. It ultimately cost him his job because he did the right thing. I've seen this all time at work, and
it's disgusting.
All in all, The Pentagon Wars is an overlooked military movie.
People I Know (2002)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
People I Know isn't a movie.
It's just a bunch of people getting together to make nothing important. I never liked
The Parallax View, and when I saw the poster in People I Know,
it was a hint of how the film would end. So there it is.
Al Pacino used to be selective, having done 28 movies in total from 1971 to 2000. Afterwards, he stopped
giving a fuck and starred in whatever. The result is a huge decline in quality. That's the case here. As a
publicist, Al Pacino looks so tired that he'll need a month's worth of sleep. While at that, he should lay off
the drugs, but it doesn't matter because he's dead. At one point, he looked like Phil Spector;
ironically, that's who Al Pacino played as eleven years later for a TV movie called *drum roll* Phil Spector.
There's a murder. But who cares? It's all about getting people to come to the publicist's big pointless
gathering at the Palms. That's what the movie is all about. Ryan O'Neal
shows up to give his best three-minute performance since Oliver's Story
in 1978. Somebody called his character an Oscar winner. Ha! That's a laugh, but he can still gawk at his
daughter's statuette. Well...Ryan O'Neal is currently dead, so never mind.
All in all, the only reason people are fooled into seeing People I Know is that it's an Al Pacino vehicle.
The People Under the Stairs (1991)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/11
9/11:
There you have it: Wes Craven is the Master of Suck.
Here's more crap from him, and this time, it's called The People Under the Stairs, a sadistic film that's primarily
made for sadists. Explain this to me as if I'm a five-year-old child: when somebody shoots a shotgun repeatedly like
dozens of times in a day, why haven't the cops been called over to investigate the noise? Okay, the house. The size
of it and how everybody is able to move around freely behind the walls...it must be the Louvre, yes?
It's obvious Wes Craven was fascinated by the macabre stories of people being locked up in the house for years and years. I have
to say the concept is sick. He makes the film worse by adding more ridiculous stuff until it has gotten out of control,
reducing the believability factor. The show dies once Ving Rhames' character is killed which occurs at the half-hour mark.
In a freefall descent, the rest of it is manipulative, racist, stupid, over the top, and cartoonish.
All in all, The People Under the Stairs is for sick people.
The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/04, 9/25
9/25:
The People vs. Larry Flynt may be quality, but it has several problems.
To start off with the positives, the performances are well done. Woody Harrelson is great, giving me a hard
time deciding whether he was better in this or Natural Born Killers.
The real Larry Flynt can be seen in the first legal case by playing a judge.
Ironically, Woody Harrelson advertised a $1 million reward to catch JFK's killers, and his father was one of
them behind the fence on the grassy knoll. Meanwhile, Courtney Love got robbed of an Oscar nomination for Best
Supporting Actress. It's probably the only notable achievement of her career besides being married to Kurt
Cobain.
However, the editing is quite bad. Many shots are 80% complete before moving on to the next one. To stay
interested, I followed the writing. The direction is sometimes scattered given that the title is an indication of
a major trial taking up most of the running time which isn't true. Also, it doesn't do a good job of
achieving closure for several people or incidents such as Ruth Carter Stapleton, the assassination attempt
involving Alan Isaacman (really, that was Gene Reeves, Jr., who was shot), and the revelation of the source
in regard to the John DeLorean cocaine bust videotape.
The film also leaves out some facts. For example, Althea was actually Larry Flynt's fourth wife. Prior to
that, he enlisted in the United States Navy for four years and was honorably discharged afterwards. In 1972,
Hustler Newsletter began to be published, but it was done locally before going national
a couple of years later as Hustler. Larry Flynt's assassin Joseph Paul Franklin was found guilty in a
lot of murder cases and then executed in 2013.
All in all, the 1st Amendment issue feels like an excuse to justify the existence of
The People vs. Larry Flynt.
Perfect (1985)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/20
6/20:
Here's a film that got bad reviews but I happen to like: Perfect.
What a perfect pair: John Travolta and Jamie Lee Curtis. These two were the most charming thespians of the 80's, and
I was wondering who would win by going against each other. Well, it's John Travolta in a runaway with the dike-looking
Jamie Lee Curtis barely getting off the blocks. Of course, they embarrass themselves by having sex with each other mentally
through their pelvic thrusts during one aerobic workout.
It's the plot that drew me in: a Rolling Stone reporter does an expose on the 80's fitness craze by visiting a gym in
Los Angeles and listening to the patrons' testimonials of why they joined. Comparing the similarities and differences
between then and now, I'll say not much has changed, but gyms as singles bars today? I don't think so. Regardless, my
favorite line is: "It's a lot more fun looking for Mr. Goodbody than Mr. Goodbar." How true. By the way, it's
a good but sad performance by Laraine Newman.
The other parallel thread is Adam Lawrence getting an exclusive story of a successful entrepreneur who's accused of dealing
drugs and then defending his source. Unfortunately, it's not compelling to follow and therefore should be deleted for
the sake of continuity. By the way, Adam's boss is Jann Wenner who's actually the editor, publisher, and co-founder of
Rolling Stone, a magazine I never read and don't care for. Today, it has zero credibility because of the Boston
Bomber cover and the UVA "rape" story.
If John Travolta can wow anyone in the "looks" department, Jamie Lee Curtis does it for aerobic fitness, putting
Jane Fonda to shame. However, her character telling Adam Lawrence how to write properly...eh, count me out. He should've moved
on, but the cheap, corny ending says otherwise.
All in all, Perfect is a good movie, regardless of what critics think.
A Perfect Murder (1998)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/06
3/06:
Having already seen Dial M for Murder, A Perfect Murder is a repeat of everything
that happened.
So...where's the suspense? I was going to be lenient only if Michael Douglas would give a good performance. But boy, was I
wrong. I should've gone further by seeing who directed the remake. It turns out to be Andrew Davis who only does
Chicago actioners. His fault is showing too many stars in one picture while failing to strengthen the story
and keep intelligence in check. As a result, there's not enough tension to engage me throughout.
What made the Hitchcock picture successful is the attention to details while keeping suspense at bay as the characters work
around them. But this one feels forced, having run out of steam early and thus collapsing mightily at the end. One surprising
aspect is leaving the detectives out on purpose when they should be surveilling the husband.
All in all, A Perfect Murder is a poor remake of Dial M for Murder.
The Perfect Storm (2000)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/05
4/05:
In a word, The Perfect Storm is a mess.
Although it's intended to be full of suspense to keep me on my toes, I was falling asleep because of
the constant back-and-forth in the communication exchange between the rescue helicopter pilot and the
skipper of Andrea Gail.
At first, I thought the movie was about the boat crew in a battle against nature. But it took a long time
to get there, forcing me to wade through a lot of fluff. Didn't Wolfgang Petersen learn enough from
Das Boot in terms of what to do?
The acting is substandard. Hard to overcome, besides the long running time, is the dreadful dialogue. The
special effects are an eek. Portraying the skipper as Captain Ahab is unoriginal. Couldn't the writer find
something else interesting? Why is the director forcing me to feel sorry for Marky Mark who died at sea? Is
this movie supposed to be about fishermen?
All in all, The Perfect Shitstorm is more like it.
The Perfect Weapon (1991)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
I remember seeing The Perfect Weapon back then, and it was what I would call "disposable entertainment."
While playing it, memories came back to me, and there were two parts I remembered the most: the boy
landing kicks to the football player's head with his helmet on and the large Asian dude who left flowers on dead
bodies. I thought it was the same actor who played Oddjob, but it's not him. Coincidentally, both are now deceased.
Anyway, it's a typical crappy American martial arts picture. In fact, Steven Seagal's early films are
Citizen Kane compared to this. Littered with silly acting, the plot is old
and tired. The fights look fake as ever, and the best of the bunch, besides kicking the football player's head, is
Jeff Speakman beating up a couch to death.
When Jeff Speakman's character got deceived by the boss, I was thinking why not the producers retitle the movie
The Perfect Idiot. Oddly, he wears the same clothes for five days straight and sports only one "aw"
black-blue bruise on his left eye.
All in all, The Perfect Weapon doesn't work for a martial arts picture.
Perfect Witness (1989)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/18
2/18:
Just keep it simple, and the film will work out.
That's how it went for Perfect Witness. The story is common: a reluctant witness is pressured to
come forward to put away a criminal organization but has second thoughts after seeing what happened to his family.
Brian Dennehy and Aidan Quinn, who has the bluest eyes ever, are great. They keep the ball rolling, no matter
what. Stockard Channing isn't bad although she reminds me of the turncoat in blue from
Cobra.
The last thirty minutes, especially after Stockard Channing's character is shot to death, is such a downer.
All there's left for Paxton to do is testify. It's a raw deal he got after feeling mentally prepared to go all
the way, risking himself and his family in the process.
All in all, Perfect Witness has a compelling story and good acting but doesn't finish well in the final
half-hour.
A Perfect World (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
The strange broken father-son relationship is primarily the reason why A Perfect World is a compelling film.
Clint Eastwood's direction pushes the boundaries further by revisiting some of the qualities that made
Bronco Billy a heartwarming movie. What helps a lot is he didn't take the
Dirty Harry approach.
Kevin Costner and T.J. Lowther make for a great pair, and they get along with ease. Of course, there's Stockholm syndrome
in play, but the boy's need for a father figure overshadows it, but seeing isn't believing.
Granted, A Perfect World is a long movie which clocks at 138 minutes, being one of the two reasons for my low
rating of '8'. The other is giving away the ending during the introduction, hence the predictability.
All in all, A Perfect World may be unrealistic, but it's certainly well-made.
Performance (1970)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
A hybrid between Get Carter and any Ken Russell film, Performance is
a good example that's very much a product of its time.
Worse, it's an unwatchable mess of self-indulgence. I can hardly make heads or tails out of the plot. In fact, there
isn't any to speak of. No wonder why the androgynous-looking Mick Jagger didn't appear in a major picture again for many years.
All in all, Performance is a stupid waste of time.
Permanent Record (1988)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/06, 11/21
4/06:
Permanent Record is somewhat unsatisfying but showcases some of the best acting by Keanu Reeves.
Although I wasn't initally drawn to the plot which is not compelling to begin with, Keanu Reeves as part of the
cast is enough to sway me over, and to my surprise and delight, I've enjoyed the picture, yet it's too low-quality
to secure a higher rating from me.
Why the guy killed himself is not explained, but I don't think it matters. He just gave up on life, period.
Therefore, it's more interesting to see the impact of his suicide on the others as if any discovery of answers
may help them achieve closure. To the best of their abilities, they try to pick up the pieces before moving on.
All in all, like River's Edge and
My Own Private Idaho, Permanent Record is perfectly suited for
Keanu Reeves.
11/21:
Mostly shot on location in Portland, Oregon, Permanent Record is
The Big Chill for high school teenagers.
It starts off awkwardly, but after David jumped off the cliff, Keanu Reeves takes over, and there's a sense of
togetherness that culminates throughout. He gives a strong performance, and so does Richard Bradford as the principal.
Almost being in the same league as River's Edge, Permanent Record is a
good suicide movie because it doesn't pretend to have all the answers but is rather about moving on. One thing
that's for sure is nobody knew David well, but his suicide is completely unncessary. He'll be forgotten not long
afterwards.
All in all, Permanent Record is a well-directed ensemble picture that showcases Keanu Reeves' talent.
Permanent Vacation (1980)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/13
8/13:
Great films are made.
Good and bad films exist, too. Then, there's the rest that should've never made in the first place. Permanent Vacation falls
in the final category. This one has it all: no plot, no script, no direction, no talent, and no point.
All in all, permanent vacation, not Permanent Vacation, is what I need.
Personal Best (1982)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
Personal Best can't decide whether it wants to be a track picture, a soft porno, or a film about two
mixed-up women having lesbian feelings for each other.
Ultimately, it fails to be any of them. The acting show put on by the leads, Mariel Hemingway, Patrice Donnelly
(who's more convincing as an athlete than Mariel), and Scott Glenn, has been mostly good, but their characters'
repeated tendencies grow tiresome after a while. Mainly, it's due to the movie running too long which had been
out of gas after an hour.
I like some scenes, most especially those of the complex relationship between athletes and their coach and the
challenges female athletes go through in life, but the most daring of them all is the steamy stuff with the naked
but absolutely flat-chested female athletes. It underscores the honesty of real-life relationships. On the
other hand, the track scenes are nice, but Leni Riefenstahl did it better in
Olympia.
All in all, Personal Best fails to achieve what it set out for and feels more voyeuristic than anything
else.
Pet Sematary (1989)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/11
2/11:
Oooh...a spelling mistake in the title Pet Sematary.
After I read the reviews by others, some found it a very, very scary movie. Scary? Really...scary? Perhaps
they're still afraid of ALF. Anyway, can somebody come up with better material than this junk? I was literally
waiting for the story to come, but it never did. The film is an exercise in idiocy, and the following is as
common sense as it gets.
First of all, don't buy a house in front of a road that's full of large speeding trucks. Do some research.
Second, if the family is going to move there, then at least put a fence around the area to protect the little
ones. Third, while at it, keep the damn cat inside the house and never let it out. As a matter of fact, if that
occurred, then none of the subsequent events would've happened.
Fourth, if the cat is dead and nobody but the girl cares, then why bother bringing it back from dead? Just admit
the truth and get another cat. Or better yet, don't ever get a pet again! Fifth, for a medical doctor, Louis Creed
doesn't act like it. He keeps getting a heart attack whenever the cat jumps out of nowhere. What a wimp. Ditto when
dealing with cadavers. Also, for a supposedly busy medical doctor, he sure has a lot of free time on his hands.
Sixth, how about that wife? What a frigid woman. I can imagine what Denise Crosby thought when she was little,
"Oh, one day, I will be an actress and do important films." Yeah, what a great career decision...now, she can go
play with a yo-yo. Seventh, if the baby got hit by a truck, they should file a lawsuit against the company, but
don't be stupid to get in the truck for a ride after hitchhiking.
Finally, we come to the worst part: Blaze Berdahl. Will somebody please throw her to the middle of the road, so
she can get hit and be left for dead? How about that performance by Stephen King? He can't even play a priest to
save his own life. Let me get this straight: if the baby returns from the dead and acts normally, how is Louis
going to explain this one? Yeah, I thought so. He better has another ready after burning the bodies of Jud and
the baby because the bones will remain there, no matter what.
All in all, Pet Sematary belongs in where it should be at: the cemetery.
Pet Sematary Two (1992)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/14
11/14:
I don't remember Pet Sematary despite seeing it at least four times in
the past, and I sure as hell don't remember this sequel, either.
It goes without saying the sight of the obviously future drug addict Edward Furlong was going to sour my
experience, no matter what. Jared Rushton helps make it to be a bit tolerable with his hammy acting. He gets to
bully Furlong's character, but I knew the scarf would lead to his premature death.
As bad as Clancy Brown's performance is, it's hard to believe he was able to rebound by snatching an important
role in The Shawshank Redemption a couple of years later. Well,
that's pretty much it for his résumé.
So, explain to me the need to bring Gus back from the dead if he's such an asshole. I guess the two boys didn't
think this through, hm? Meanwhile, Anthony Edwards is in his pre-ER form, but the gun he was holding
may be too big for him. In fact, I don't think he knew what he was doing.
All in all, Pet Sematary Two is animal abuse galore.
Peter's Friends (1992)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/18
2/18:
Shot in ten days, Peter's Friends is the British version of
The Big Chill, but let's
be fair: Return of the Secaucus 7 is the original.
It's nice but not that great or "totally uproarious" as they say. Marred by bad start, it's kind of slow, saying
nothing new with a weak screenplay, but the ending is a surprise. What's interesting is the thespians playing the
characters were mimicking themselves in real life. They either attended Cambridge University or worked together in
other films.
There are some good scenes scattered throughout, and the funniest is when Kenneth Branagh's character showed
difficulty with his wife's luggage before blurting out, "What the fuck have you got in here? Weights?" Of the cast,
Rita Rudner is the standout. Everybody else is more or less decent. Tony Slattery is hysterical as the irreverent
Brian. The things he says are plain crazy.
All in all, Peter's Friends makes for a fair viewing.
The Petrified Forest (1936)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
For three-fourths of the time, The Petrified Forest had all what it took to be a masterpiece.
I was getting worried if the steam would run out, and lo! It finally did when Leslie Howard went into his bit about the
life insurance policy, overdoing the whole thing. From that point on, the film lost momentum by becoming
melodramatic. Hence, I feel for Humphrey Bogart's character who wanted to put Alan Squires out of his misery.
Regardless, everybody has done a fantastic job of making acting look effortless. I love how natural the setting
is and the fact that the director is able to convey a sense of realism.
All in all, The Petrified Forest is worth watching but will disappoint in the final fifteen minutes.
Petulia (1968)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/14
11/14:
Correcting Leonard Matlin, I declare Petulia "one of the decade's worst films."
To be honest with you, I haven't the foggiest clue what the plot is about. It appears to be problems that plague the
superficial, pretentious rich folks. To make matters worse, the choppy avant-garde editing makes it hard for me to watch the film
for more than ten minutes at once.
The camera keeps shaking, and the images are juxtaposed with no meaningful coherence. Hence, it took me a
full week to finish Petulia. Now, I know why I had never heard of the film.
Julie Christie, the über whore of the 60's, fails to capture my interest. As always, her acting leaves a lot to be desired.
And what's George C. Scott doing in this mess? It's a true waste of his talent. Richard Chamberlain needs to take
acting lessons...lots of them.
All in all, I laugh at Leonard Matlin for making such an asinine statement about Petulia, a hopelessly dated picture
that's mercifully forgotten.
Peyton Place (1957)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/14, 7/19
5/14:
Peyton Place is perfect.
I wish I saw it many years ago. How surprising my childhood
closely resembles the story. I grew up in a tiny village in the Northeast that's surrounded by farmlands and populated
by white folks. There were no traffic lights but four churches of different denominations, one school, one library, a big pond,
and annual parades, fireworks, and tree lighting ceremonies. Everything I saw in the film is like that, even right down to the
memorial services which are complete with plaques and headstones of those who had died in various wars.
I grew up with kids, having gone to the same school from kindergarten through eighth grade, and it was a close-knit community.
But things changed a lot by the time we hit high school. Everybody was required to integrate through different high schools
by choice, and when graduation came, many hardly knew one another because of the diverging paths.
However, the village I grew up in didn't change much as there were folks that resembled many characters in
Peyton Place. Over the years, I had encountered an array of similar incidents, and it's amazing to see the
resemblance. In fact, one of my classmates, who was on the same team with me in different sports, committed first-degree
murder and was sentenced to life.
After high school graduation, I went to college far away, had traveled a great deal, and didn't look back. When I came back to
visit the village periodically, I realized the dangers of living in an insular world that's trapped with small-town
mentality. It's as if change was a bad thing, so keeping everything as white as possible was of the utmost importance.
When I heard from my mother recently, she was issued a citation by the municipal court because the upkeep of her porch didn't
meet the village's standards. To this day, there's a woman living there who looks exactly like Marion and is the biggest
gossiper ever. That's why I identify myself with Allison MacKenzie the most; what her character went through is exactly what I
went through. I did know others who were from the wrong side of the tracks that were just like the characters. The naivety I
possessed at the time was eventually realized years later after moving out. Hence, Peyton Place is an amazing film.
The cast is perfect, and everybody is brilliant in his or her own way. For me, the most winning performance is given by Lloyd
Nolan. Of course, Lana Turner is fabulous, having shed off the label as the famous platinum blonde siren from
The Postman Always Rings Twice. Diane Varsi, marvelous. Lee Philips,
wonderful. Hope Lange, fantastic. Russ Tamblyn, outstanding. Arthur Kennedy, magnificent. Barry Coe and Terry Moore, what a pair.
Mildred Dunnock who reminds me of my old high school Latin teacher, saintly.
All in all, Peyton Place is American Graffiti,
Rebel Without a Cause,
and The Last Picture Show all rolled into one.
7/19:
Ah, Peyton Place, the film about white people made by white people for white people.
Losing points in my rating is the extreme running time of 162 minutes. There are so many subplots, some of them unnecessary,
that it feels like a two-part movie. The sugary voice-over narration is terrible.
What bothers me the most is that nearly every time Lana Turner is outside, there must be a rear projection screen behind her.
When the shot is faraway like she's walking down the street, it has to be her body double. So, was Lana Turner too good for
everybody that she had to be on the soundstage? It turns out she refused to go to Maine and demanded proper studio lighting.
To perform her scenes, everybody had to come over from Maine and do them with her in Hollywood. Well, Lana...you ruined the
movie, so congrats.
By the way, the year when Peyton Place premiered, Lana Turner's daughter, Cheryl Crane, killed her mother's abusive
gangster boyfriend, giving the movie an unexpected boost in box-office returns after it didn't initially play well for
several months. Meanwhile, the court scene is problematic. Potential witnesses aren't legally allowed to watch the trial until
after their testimony has been given, but many did in the film. Like Michael Rossi, the doctor's speech pointing out the
citizens' silly behavior is random and therefore irrelevant.
All in all, although Peyton Place is a classy movie reminding me of my childhood, it runs too long and is full of
melodrama and so-so performances.
Phantasm (1979)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/03, 10/07, 6/11
10/07:
If I can think of a horror film that's different, unique, and bizarre all at once, Phantasm easily
comes to my mind.
What picture is going to start off with a man and a woman having sex at the cemetery? Shot independently under
a budget of $300,000, Phantasm became a huge box-office hit, grossing $22 million. It's an abstract
thriller that's hard to make out and offers almost no satisfying answers.
Think of great villains, and there's no question Angus Scrimm's Tall Man is among them. His famous catchphrase
"BOOOOOOYYYY!!!" still reverberates to this day. It's hard to envsision Phantasm without him plus
the deadly steel balls as one of them goes straight for the gardener's head.
Unfortunately, as far as the franchise goes, there will be no clarification of what the whole thing means. I
hope someday there's a fifth part to explain it all finally, but I'm not going to hold my breath.
All in all, as the Tall Man would say, "You play a good game boy, but the game is finished. Now you die."
6/11:
"You gotta be shittin' me man, that mother's strong!"
It's a good way of describing the Tall Man in Phantasm. As the title indicates, it's been a dream. Of
course, nothing makes sense and has never did to this day. That's why Phantasm remains one of the most
bizarre films ever made which makes it easy to come back to it again and again and try to make heads or tails
out of the story.
There are memorable scenes: the random sex at the cemetery, the famous steel ball pumping blood out of the
gardener's head, the Tall Man's BOOOOOOYYYY!!! yell, the awesome-looking 1971 black Plymouth Barracuda, and the
dwarves grabbing Michael on the bed with the Tall Man right behind.
All in all, it's hard to come up with a more bizarre horror film than Phantasm, and the movie poster
is a strong indication of what to expect.
Phantasm II (1988)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/12
3/12:
Phantasm II is a crappy sequel that's followed up with two even crappier sequels.
Sure, it's a horror flick, all right, but a weak one at that. Having seen everything that the franchise has
to offer, there's still no closure or explanation of what the premise is all about. Instead, it's more of the
same to jerk my chain in order to prolong the suspense. So, that's why there may be no fifth part.
One thing I don't understand is why they didn't bring A. Michael Baldwin back for this. I'm sure he couldn't
have cost that much who's as integral to the storyline as anyone. How this sorry sequel was finally made,
according to IMDb, is:
"After a time lapse of approximately 10 years, the project of a sequel to
Phantasm was green lighted and got financed by Universal Pictures mainly
because one of the main executives at the Studio was a big fan of Horror movies as well as being Coscarelli's
former attorney."
All in all, just stick with Phantasm and forget the rest of the sequels.
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/03, 11/07
11/07:
Hoping for any insight from Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead, none ever comes.
Therefore, my chain has been jerked once again, and I'm not happy about it. What I got out of the second
sequel is a ridiculous storyline with no connecting dots.
Every time Reggie appears, it's about his sexual fantasies with a black woman. Why? Instead of a horror movie,
I keep asking, "Is there a point?" At least, it's nice to see the two brothers be reunited.
All in all, despite going through Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead, it's impossible to figure out what
the whole thing means.
Phantasm IV: Oblivion (1998)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/04, 11/07
11/07:
Oblivion is a good way of putting it because this is where the third sequel went into.
Phantasm IV: Oblivion doesn't bother to explain anything. Hence, there's no point to make it in the
first place. Things would've been dramatically changed when Michael stepped into the time portal and saw
Jebediah Morningside's house as a result. That's when I thought, "Finally, everything is going to be
revealed." So much for this fucking franchise.
Reggie continues to be the most useless character because apparently, his sole purpose in life is to bang
a girl. Wow, man...my mind is floored.
All in all, there will be no part five, and if that ever happens, I doubt it'll explain anything.
Phantasm: Ravager (2016)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/17
5/17:
I was willing to give Phantasm: Ravager one last chance at redemption just to seek closure in terms
of answering the fundamental question: "What's it all about?"
Instead, just like the previous three sequels, I was taken on a jerk-off ride. Therefore, it's over. There will
be no more Phantasm bullshit for me.
This useless piece of shit has overplayed the steel ball one too many times for the death scenes as if that's
the only thing the franchise has going for itself. Don Coscarelli shouldn't have gone further beyond the
original picture.
All in all, that's it for the franchise; it's dead.
The Phantom (1996)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
I saw The Phantom a couple of times during the 90's and then forgot about it.
My sentiment still holds after watching it again recently: the movie isn't bad. I'm aware of the comic strip,
having read it in the newspapers many times, which was created by Lee Falk in 1936. Here lies the
problem: the Phantom has no superpowers to speak of. So, why does the film show him performing impossible stunts?
I don't get it. That's the downfall of The Phantom.
Obviously, the feel, along with parts of the story, is straight out of
Raiders of the Lost Ark.
It shouldn't be a surprise because Jeffrey Boam wrote the screenplay for
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Simon Wincer
will go on to direct various episodes and
movies for The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones. Regardless, it's a good-looking period picture.
Billy Zane is perfectly cast as the superhero, and I like how he handled the role compared to, say,
Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, and George Clooney when they played Batman. He actually lifted
weights in order to appear buff, and nobody expected that when they had a fake muscular suit ready
for him. Kristy Swanson is fine as Diane Palmer. Unfortunately, Treat Williams is unmemorable as
Xander Drax. I didn't know Catherine Zeta-Jones was in the film because she wasn't yet famous.
All in all, The Phantom is better than most superhero films, and I'm not even a fan of the genre.
Phantom Lady (1944)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/24
12/24:
Phantom Lady is an okay film noir picture, and I blame Robert Siodmak for it because he's such
a mediocre director.
Initially, I noticed on the cover that Franchot Tone had top billing, and I was like, "Where's he?" for the longest
time. When he finally showed up, there went the mystery: his character was the killer after all. The last
forty-five minutes was mostly spent on finding out the obvious when I felt like punching the fake Carmen
Miranda (she's actually her sister) in the face for being so damned egotistical.
I don't think I've seen Ella Raines in a film before, and she has done an okay job of carrying Phantom Lady.
She might be a cross between Gene Tierney and Ava Gardner for all I know. Alan Curtis is fine as well; I'm
surprised to discover that he died at the age of 43 from a kidney operation gone wrong afterwards.
Franchot Tone is average as bland leading men of the 40's go and can be laughable for a deranged killer by
rubbing his temple and lying down on a sofa. I don't see why his character had to "come" back from South
America and hang around because he was already in the clear. What possible evidence can there be to link him
to the murder of Scott Henderson's wife? The old lady's hat? Oh, please...give me a break. It's totally
irrelevant. At least, the cinematography scores points here and there.
All in all, don't be surprised to find out there are no surprises to be had in Phantom Lady.
The Phantom of the Opera (1962)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/11, 12/17
2/11:
Eh...what is this crap?
I read The Phantom of the Opera twice, but the 1962 cinematic version is nowhere near the original story.
It's rubbish junk created by a third-rate hack. Why use the title? Just make up a new one so the confusion can end!
For a low-budget Hammer Horror movie, it has the colors, atmosphere, and characters, and the performances are decent. Of
course, Lon Chaney will always be incomparable as the Phantom. Hence, it goes without saying Herbert Lom's rendition
suffers in comparison.
I've never understood why the manager insisted on staging shows if the opera house is cursed. In the remake, the Phantom turns
out to be a decent person, but why does the hired help have to die at the beginning? How about killing Lord D'Arcy
instead before things will get out of hand?
Oddly, the masked man is shown living right under the opera house in a canal-like basement with water splashing in
and out from the river. To move about, his assistant decides to swim instead of walking on a solid surface. I guess
the consideration of wintry temperature or dirty water hadn't registered in his pea brain.
All in all, The Phantom of the Opera with Lon Chaney is a million times better than this Hammer Horror junk.
12/17:
Okay, my opinion of Hammer Horror's The Phantom of the Opera is more improved now, and the story works.
What's interesting is it's not the Phantom who's the villain but the author of the opera who stole the credit from the man
himself after deceiving him that he would print the original composition under his name. I think why I felt disappointed the last
time is due to the story being significantly changed while it wasn't anywhere near the silent masterpiece with Lon Chaney.
Despite not appearing in films for years, Kathryn Grayson was chosen to play Christine in the original because she started
out as a trained opera singer at age 12. This time, Heather Sears is cast to play her role. Guess who that is
playing the true villain of the show? Why, it's none other than Michael Gough who was Alfred the butler in
Batman movies of the 80's and 90's.
Perfectly suitable to play Edmond Dantes in The Count of Monte Cristo, Edward de Souza, in a role that's originally
meant for Cary Grant, plays Harry Hunter. His character is a kind gentleman as opposed to the Victorian rake, Lord Ambrose
D'Arcy, with decidedly salty behavior.
All in all, although it'll never top the Lon Chaney classic, The Phantom of the Opera is a decent color remake
with a gripping storyline.
Phantom of the Paradise (1974)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/05
8/05:
Congratulations, Brian De Palma.
He finally did it. Phantom of the Paradise is one of the worst, dumbest, and stupidest movies ever made.
What the hell am I seeing? It feels like a terrifically bad remake of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I
hate all of the characters. I hate the story. I hate everything. I fucking hate, hate, hate everything.
No wonder why it was a massive box-office flop when the film came out in 1974 which only had a lasting power in
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, having stayed intact for months. Shame on these poor simpleminded idiots.
All in all, everybody had way too much cocaine when they worked on Phantom of the Paradise.
Phantom Thread (2017)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/22
2/22:
I was going to give Phantom Thread a '9', but the last fifteen minutes is awful.
It seems like the director just gave up. At the beginning, I was under the impression the setting was present
day, but it turns out to be the 50's. Uh...right. Nobody talked like that back then, especially with the heavy profanity.
Yet the screenplay isn't bad for the most part. The timing is fair, too, because the dresses are clearly overdone.
Six Oscar nominations were handed out for Phantom Thread, and I correctly guessed it won one for Best Costume
Design. Of course, how can they not when the movie is about dressmaking? The cinematography is sumptuous, and the camera work
is smooth and calm. However, the interview technique has been ripped off from Bob Fosse's films.
Here's the chief problem: this one is too exacting although not overwhelming. In fact, if the movie was instead directed by Stanley
Kubrick, I would've suffocated. The other is the small unfilled gaps that occur between scenes. They keep jumping
ahead with the biggest leap in the last fifteen minutes. What happened to the wedding dress that's supposed to
be sent out to Belgium?
Daniel Day-Lewis announced his retirement from acting by making Phantom Thread the final film of his career. True
to his craft, he spent one year delving into haute couture dressmaking. Already good in his own way, Daniel Day-Lewis has been
surprisingly outacted by two females. In a way, the film is like The Age of Innocence,
but this time, Michelle Pfeiffer and Winona Ryder are replaced by Vicky Krieps and Lesley Manville. I thought at first Vicky
might be out of his league, but she did get better, eventually overshadowing him.
As for the nearly absent plot, it's about a sadomasochistic relationship which was mostly brought on by Alma but in a subtle
way. The main question to ask is: why does she keep putting up with Reynolds? The longer Alma stays with him, the more clear
the answer is: she actually enjoys it. Anytime Alma is losing Reynolds' favor, she cooks poisonous mushrooms to make him
sick and helpless; then, he's 100% vulnerable, as exactly how she wants him to be, and then after getting better, tells
Alma he can't exist without her. The pattern starts to set in. Eventually, Reynolds must have figured it out and
ultimately enjoys what's going on. Or is the ending just a dream?
All in all, Phantom Thread is a good movie, but the last fifteen minutes is what did it in.
Phase IV (1974)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/22
6/22:
When I first saw who the director of Phase IV was and it read "Saul Bass," I did a double take.
Yep, it's the very same Saul Bass who designed the title sequences and posters for Alfred Hitchcock's and Otto
Preminger's pictures. This is the only film he had ever directed. If there's anything I'm most surprised at, he
didn't design the title sequence this time.
Phase IV starts out well in an intelligent manner and has impressive ant photography, but it gets worse
over time. There are two problems: idiots for academicians and lack of organization. Of the former, why only two?
The operation should've required more people, especially from the military front. Of the latter, the ideas don't
flow well as everything seems haphazard. In fact, "trippy" might be the most proper adjective.
I don't understand the need for a cryptologist who specializes in number theory. It isn't the right profession
for this sort of situation as it should be a linguist with some mathematics background, especially in pattern
detection. Anyway, Nigel Davenport is useless, but Lynne Frederick is worse who has zero acting ability to speak
of. I can't believe her character was willing to walk barefoot across the desert that's crawling with lethal ants.
All in all, Saul Bass should've spent more time on the drawing board before setting out to film Phase IV.
Philadelphia (1993)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/02, 12/05
12/05:
Philadelphia is overrated that's simplistic in many ways.
But Bruce Springsteen's song Streets of Philadelphia is fantastic, being the only good part of the film.
It went on to win an Oscar for Best Original Song and four Grammy Awards including Song of the Year. The lyrics go like this:
"I was bruised and battered,
I couldn't tell what I felt.
I was unrecognizable to myself.
Saw my reflection in a window and didn't know my own face.
Oh brother are you gonna leave me wastin' away
On the streets of Philadelphia."
Unfortunately, the rest of Philadelphia isn't as good. It's sugary and sentimental, breaking no ground. Rather, the
show is heavily reliant on "movie magic." Hence, I must point out
Longtime Companion for getting everything right.
Tom Hanks' acting is phony, and he shouldn't have won the Oscar. Denzel Washington is merely okay, but his courtroom speech
leaves me confused. On the other hand, I have to say Antonio Banderas did a good job. He seems to have a lot of experience
in these matters.
All in all, the only good aspect out of Philadelphia is Bruce Springsteen's song.
Phoenix (1998)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/22
6/22:
Not much works in Phoenix.
Sure, it has Ray Liotta who's in his semi-Goodfellas mode, and he can
carry a film. But it's
Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead all over again
with three corrupt cop buddies. He tries to make the romance subplot work with Angelica Huston, but it ultimately
goes nowhere.
Instead, the focus is on the heist to pay off the bookie only because the motto is: "Never welsh on a bet." When
the guys follow through it, the movie begins to fall apart. The action gets sillier and sillier with a
nonsensical twist thrown in for good measure.
Despite the title, the city sure doesn't look like Phoenix because it's a busy place that's attached to
Mesa, carrying a significant Hispanic population which is wholly absent in the film.
All in all, Phoenix is a poodle when compared to Sidney Lumet's masterworks of police corruption.
Phone Booth (2002)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/22, 3/22
2/22:
When I thought Hollywood had nothing original to offer these days, here comes Phone Booth.
The plot is unique and highly inventive. It's Sweet Smell of Success
meets The Negotiator. Larry Cohen's script is first-rate and should've
gotten an Oscar nomination. Who would have thought the premise of an actor being stuck in the phone booth for
over an hour could be so exciting? The idea was originally pitched to Alfred Hitchcock during the 60's, but he
and Larry Cohen couldn't figure out a workable angle as to why the guy had to stay in the booth for so long.
This may be the best performance of Colin Farrell's career. He should've gotten an Oscar nomination. A longtime
player in Joel Schumacher's films, Kiefer Sutherland is effective in spite of not being seen 99% of the time.
Honestly, they shouldn't have used his face or name for the movie posters, DVD covers, etc. It ruins the element
of surprise. Of course, Forest Whitaker is great. These three are enough to make this 81-minute movie go by quickly.
The ending is terrific which almost never happens in movies when the villain simply gets away with it. For a
while, I thought Stu's assistant might have been involved with the plot...but nope although I wouldn't blame him.
All in all, Phone Booth is among the best movies Joel Schumacher has ever done.
3/22:
Phone Booth holds up well, and the plot is clever.
Colin Farrell is excellent, and it's a difficult performance to pull off, being stuck in the phone booth and using
as many acting tricks as possible. On the other end is Kiefer Sutherland who enlivens things. It's the best
part of the entire thing: their back-and-forth dialogue.
All in all, originally meant to be made by Alfred Hitchcock, Phone Booth is the film that the Master
of Suspense would've wanted to direct.
Physical Evidence (1989)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
Better suited to writing, Michael Crichton made bland movies because he was a mediocre director.
That's the case with Physical Evidence which was originally conceived as a sequel to
Jagged Edge (why there would be one, I have no idea). It isn't Burt
Reynolds' but the beautiful-looking Theresa Russell's picture.
Bored and ready to cash his big paycheck, Burt Reynolds shows up, says hi, and roughs up a few guys every
fifteen minutes or so. At least, it's nice to see him and Ned Beatty in the same scene after appearing
together in Deliverance. They did seven films in total.
Instead of a gripping policier, I'm forced to follow the lawyer and her relationship problems as if it's
the feminine version of The Verdict. That's the biggest mistake of
Physical Evidence. It becomes a "who cares?" moment when the identity of the mastermind is revealed. By
the way, looking at Kenneth Welsh's face, he would've been perfect for a John Gotti biopic. In fact, he appeared
in Getting Gotti but not as the godfather.
All in all, Michael Crichton never directed again after Physical Evidence which is good news for
the future fans of Jurassic Park.
The Piano (1993)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
Jane Wyman did it first.
Up next were Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke. Then, it was Marlee Matlin's turn. And not to miss out the excitement, Holly
Hunter and Anna Paquin became the latest to grab the headlines. They're Oscar winners who used sign language in film,
and, of course, Louise Fletcher doesn't count.
Only Jane Wyman, Anne Bancroft, and Patty Duke are deserving winners, but I can't say the same for the rest. Honestly,
I don't understand the logic of an actress who's able to win a truckload of awards by baring her breasts, but Holly Hunter
seems to have pulled off the trick. Kate Winslet nearly did for Titanic. How else am I
going to judge Holly Hunter's performance...her facial expressions? Yeah, right.
I know the signs as shown in the film are completely made up although I've read accounts that sign language wasn't
invented yet which is not true. This brings up another point: exactly where is the setting? Is it Australia or
New Zealand, or is it the wild jungle of some faraway country? Also, this needs to be addressed: is Holly Hunter's character
Irish, English, Scottish, German, or what? She seems to be American for the most part.
By the way, sign language was invented in France, Britain, New Zealand, Australia, and other former British colonies. So,
why make it up when there existed a crude system of sign language? Amazingly enough, no fingerspelling is shown throughout
The Piano. It usually takes up at least 30% of any conversation and may have been higher in 1850. Why? It's
because not every word has a sign and many signs hadn't been invented.
Anyway, enough of that. One reason I'm dropping points is that The Piano was made to be purposely bizarre in order to
shock everybody. Take it away, and what we've got here is a substanceless picture with weakly developed characters.
Harvey Keitel does what he can but looks miscast because it's a unusual performance coming from him.
Perhaps he's the only actor who was willing to bare it all? Yet Harvey Keitel did it already in
Bad Lieutenant the year
before. Oh, oh...remember the moment when Ada wrote a love note on the piano key? But George can't read. On the other
hand, Sam Neill is more miscast than Harvey Keitel; he always has the same look of disbelief.
The plot is rubbish as the focal point of the romantic relationship is predicated on a mute female who's sexually violated
through blackmail and then develops some sort of a syndrome to feel love for her offender. In short, Holly Hunter's character
is confused and needs professional therapy to sort her feelings out. But it's 1850 and nothing I've said had been in vogue yet.
In fact, I'm surprised this happened considering the film was directed by a female because it's what a male director would've done.
All in all, The Piano received so much acclaim in 1993 only because it's a bizarre film.
Pickpocket (1959)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/22
1/22:
Like many classic black-and-white French pictures, Pickpocket moves slow.
One of the most annoying acting techniques is to look at a person, down to the floor as if there's a line
to read, and look at him again to say it. It's been constant throughout this film. Martin LaSalle, who's a
cross between Montgomery Clift and Henry Fonda, is the biggest offender, but I'll excuse him because he
was a nonprofessional actor coming into this.
There isn't much of a story. Michel is an incarnation of Rodion Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment.
The only interesting part is the display of pickpocketing tricks. They don't seem believable, but I think
it's because if the characters did it for real, it would've looked too fast or impossible to capture on video.
Then, I thought about pickpocketing in general. Where had I seen it done? The answer is...never. Who does that
for real? There are easier ways to steal. Anyway, it turns out that less people carry cash and that the art of
pickpocketing takes a lot of patience to master which is something thieves don't have in abundance nowadays.
I read that Paul Schrader credited Pickpocket as the influence for
American Gigolo, but I never saw the connection for the longest time
until the end. Now, I can see, but the scene with Richard Gere and Lauren Hutton is a lot more powerful.
All in all, too dull to be enjoyable, Pickpocket is best reserved for film snobs.
Pickup on South Street (1953)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/14
7/14:
Imagine the shudder I let out when I saw Samuel Fuller's name attached to Pickup on South Street before going ahead with it.
My apprehension is due to the horrible experience of having seen his two ultra-tacky films:
Shock Corridor and The Naked Kiss. Afterwards, my
fears had been somewhat realized. Therefore, it's safe to think of Pickup on South Street a light-tacky film noir.
There are several good moments, but many have been eye-rolling for what's a thankfully 80-minute picture. The camera
work is fantastic, and I like how the zoom shot is effectively used at appropriate times.
Although Richard Widmark appears, I can't seem to shake off his Tommy Udo persona. There's too much familiarity going on here.
On the other hand, Thelma Ritter gives a hammy, unbelievable portrayal of a know-it-all informant. It's almost as if that's
what she did for a living during her acting career.
Jean Peters is wonderful, and she and Richard Widmark are sexy together and have great chemistry. After punching the female's
lights out at the boathouse, he erotically massages her cheek afterwards to place their status among the hottest movie duos.
All in all, despite the steamy scenes between Richard Widmark and Jean Peters, Pickup on South Street is silly.
Picnic (1955)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/13
12/13:
The trouble with Picnic is Rosalind Russell.
Because of William Holden acting like a foolish 5-year-old kid, it starts out as a fun-filled picture during the
first half. All of a sudden, confused misunderstanding, which occurs during one night, causes an about-face,
rendering the second half melodramatic with Rosalind Russell getting in the way a lot.
Here's where I'm confused: is Picnic supposed to be William Holden and Kim Novak's picture? Sadly, they
don't spend a lot of time together, and I don't know why I should care about Rosemary's problems or why there's
so much attention heaped upon her.
Just underneath the title on the DVD cover, Jack Moffitt called Picnic "one of the sexiest pictures
I've ever seen." I think he said it after developing a homoerotic attraction to William Holden's bare chest.
All in all, Picnic is How to Ruin a Film 101.
Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
That's why story matters a lot.
Picnic at Hanging Rock doesn't have a lot to say. Four females disappear one day, and...and...and... That's
it. The rest of the way is dealing with the aftermath here and there. I can't help but think how well-directed
Permanent Record was given the same exact situation. By the way,
is this the one that the all-time hack Sofia Coppola ripped off for her film
The Virgin Suicides in terms of style even though the novel had
been published beforehand?
So, did the incident happen for real? The answer is no; it's manipulation at will for the sake of being
artsy-fartsy, nothing more. That's why, for an Australian production,
A Cry in the Dark made for a compelling viewing. Instead, I'm treated
to dialogue that's either uninteresting or pretentious. Once in a while, the headmistress speaks of financial
matters, but I'm sure her school will close either way for being out of touch with reality.
Wikipedia states that "Picnic at Hanging Rock was a commercial and critical success and helped draw
international attention to the then-emerging Australian New Wave of cinema." That's quite funny because
I guarantee Mad Max was the one that completely changed everything,
making Mel Gibson a huge international star, especially after
The Road Warrior came out, and putting Australia on the map cinema-wise.
Just compare the box-office results between these two.
Regardless, Picnic at Hanging Rock isn't a dull movie, thanks to the semi-high production value. The cast
is okay, but many were dubbed and rarely acted again afterwards. However, Rachel
Roberts' performance should be singled out as the headmistress. I like the A+ cinematography which was
handled by Russell Boyd who has done tons of work including Gallipoli,
The Year of Living Dangerously, and
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World.
All in all, Picnic at Hanging Rock moves too slowly to make some kind of impression.
The Pillow Book (1996)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/19
4/19:
The Pillow Book is so aptly titled that I was immediately put to sleep five minutes after playing it, and this
mindless snoozefest literally took me a month to complete.
I had high expectations because of what Peter Greenaway did with
The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover and
8 ½ Women. But this is a massive letdown. What saves it from getting a rating of '1' from me
is the editing which is well-done and unique.
Pretty much no director sees cinema more differently than Peter Greenaway, but he needs to learn the art of coherent storytelling
instead of relying on repetition and bland eroticism. I don't mind the long parade of male genitalia, but there's no point to them
if the first goal hasn't been achieved. A unique touch is the bodies being covered in beautiful Japanese calligraphy.
Constantly naked in many scenes, Ewan McGregor looks out of place because he's not a competent actor. Vivian Wu, who isn't a
Japanese but a Chinese, cannot save the film, either.
All in all, Peter Greenaway is becoming a hit-or-miss director.
Pink Cadillac (1989)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/06
7/06:
You've got to give it up for Clint Eastwood because he knows how to make a fun cult flick.
I love Bernadette Peters in Pink Cadillac, and she's awesome. What I like the most is
it's very down to earth. However, I won't label it a comedy; it's more of a semi-drama picture.
Of course, the story is strange to believe. Take Clint Eastwood's character, he's supposed to track down the lady and take
her in as a fugitive from justice. Yet he somehow forgets to do his job, or rather, the story forgets itself and
goes into another direction.
Regardless, the action, the pace, and the acting are excellent. Geoffrey Lewis needs to tone it down a notch because when
he tries to be more than himself, it doesn't work. There's one scene that absolutely cracks me up, and it's when Clint
Eastwood was in a redneck bar and impersonated some dude named Will Van Slyke. A guy slapping Clint Eastwood's back and forcing
him to elicit a face reaction after his mouth had been stuffed with gobs of tobacco, is also humorous.
All in all, Pink Cadillac is an offbeat, kooky cult picture.
The Pink Panther (1963)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/18
6/18:
When I was a kid, I used to watch The Pink Panther cartoons, and one day, I saw the 1963 picture on TV, thinking of
the animated show, but it was not, causing me to turn it off.
Decades had passed by, and I decided to try the film one more time, knowing it was going to be with real people yet not
understanding why the cartoon character was initially involved. It was afterwards that I finally learned the real story.
Blake Edwards pitched an idea to Friz Freleng and David DePatie to create a supposedly one-time cartoon character for the
opening title sequence and supplied them background information of his vision. Hundreds of variations
were sketched, and Blake selected the one that became the iconic character as we know him today.
After the film was a big success, people wanted more of the Pink Panther in cartoons, so United Artists made a deal
with DePatie-Freleng Enterprises to produce a series of animated shorts. The very first one was called The Pink Phink
which ended up winning the Academy Award for Animated Short Film in 1964. To this day, the Pink Panther lives on and is an
instantly recognizable character. He now sells pink fiberglass insulation for Owens Corning. Oh...the 1963 film with
David Niven and Peter Sellers? Fucking forget about it.
It's a huge snoozefest that took me a week to complete. It's not even funny, and there's no plot to speak of.
In fact, when the laborious trek made its way through the masquerade ball, I immediately recognized the rip-off from
Hitchcock's To Catch a Thief. The ending is an all-time bad.
I don't get Peter Sellers. He's not a funny guy. Everything he did in The Pink Panther can be seen
coming a mile away which smacks of an obsession with old silent film comedies. Peter Ustinov was first offered the role of
Inspector Clouseau but smartly turned it down, thinking of the "Run! He is coming! Hide!" script not being worthwhile.
Eventually, he replaced Peter Sellers in Topkapi and therefore won his second Oscar.
Full of wood, David Niven is a dreadful bore. There's not a trace of personality in him. He tries too hard
to be the next William Powell who had a great deal of debonairness. I'm not going to mention Robert Wagner whose acting
pedigree is equal to daytime soap opera shows.
Who the hell calls herself "Capucine"? That made-up name sounds like a hodgepodge of cappuccino and porcupine. At any rate,
she's a Lauren Bacall wannabe with no star quality. As beautiful as Claudia Cardinale is, she
was virtually dubbed by Gale Garnett after I noticed most of her spoken words didn't match the English subtitles.
Her drunken scene with the tiger-hide rug is highly offensive and thus not appreciated.
All in all, the only good thing out of The Pink Panther is the iconic cartoon character.
Pirates of the Caribbean:
The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/04, 4/24
4/24:
I hadn't seen Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl since 2004, so I thought I would check it out.
Yeah, it's as I remembered it. Despite the nice cinematography, the movie is too long, and over forty-five minutes should've
been cut out. It goes on and on for no reason just like the silly sword battle between the immortals since they're never going to
die, no matter what. I'm surprised Disney approved the film because the violence is excessive which doesn't align with the
company's image.
I don't like how it operates in separate parts instead of one whole. I see Johnny Depp doing his thing, and there's everything
else. As a result, they never merge. There's something else strange: the seemingly ripped-off plot structure
from The Last of the Mohicans.
Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley are Daniel Day-Lewis and Madeleine Stowe, respectively, while Geoffrey Rush is Magua. The
girl's father is Colonel Munro, and her supposed beau Norrington is Major Duncan Heyward. The English soldiers remain the same
while the pirates are disguised as Indians. Only Johnny Depp plays a wildcard character.
On the other hand, I'm not impressed with Johnny Depp's performance and don't see why an Academy Award nomination was given to him.
Geoffrey Rush is better, and that's because he's a strong actor, hence the Oscar win for Shine.
Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley make virtually no difference which is the reason why the film feels imbalanced the entire
time as compared to The Last of the Mohicans.
All in all, thanks to the huge box-office take of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl,
Johnny Depp had sold himself out to go mainstream thereafter.
A Place in the Sun (1951)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/13
8/13:
An American Tragedy was a novel written by Theodore Dreiser that I read almost two decades ago, but I never saw the
film until now.
It's a good thing I took a long time doing so because A Place in the Sun is nothing like it. This way, I would be
less harsh in my review because I couldn't remember a lot about the book except for the main points. It's based on the murder of
Grace Brown by Chester Gillette after the turn of the 20th century while the rich girl angle was invented for dramatic effect.
On the surface, Montgomery Clift seems to act well, but let's be real: he's terrible. I have to say being naïve
all the time is an unrealistic behavior for somebody like George Eastman who might be predisposed to murder.
Obviously, past behavior predicts future behavior. Montgomery Clift shows up unannounced as an all-around good kid minus
formal education and carries on well with his manners intact, evincing no change over time. In other words, it's a
one-dimensional performance which makes his character hard to believe.
On the other hand, Elizabeth Taylor is obviously beautiful and radiant as Angela Vickers, but she falls for an uneducated
city boy with no social rank after watching his solo billiard game for a minute. Come on, are people that stupid?
Of course, we have the frumpy-looking Shelley Winters who can't compete with Elizabeth Taylor. George Eastman's decision
becomes simple thereafter. How Shelley's character was killed isn't enough to merit a death penalty; manslaughter
or a lesser degree seems more appropriate.
That piece of Perry Mason *cough* bullshit lawyering by Raymond Burr is easily the worst and most ridiculous
part of the picture. What he did, especially when he forcibly smashing the oar against the boat to prove a point, is enough for
witness intimidation and therefore grounds for mistrial.
All in all, A Place in the Sun is an okay film but pales in comparison with An American Tragedy.
Places in the Heart (1984)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/18
4/18:
I picked up Places in the Heart because it was John Malkovich's first film which resulted in an Oscar
nomination for him, and he deserved it.
Everybody else, most especially Danny Glover, is also great. Sally Field is the only one I'm not
impressed with despite winning an Oscar. I don't care for her character.
If there's anything I never bought, it's the story. I'm sure it's nice and all, but picking cotton on forty
acres in a record time with the help of a blind white man and a poor black man to save the family farm? I don't
think so. Plus after all the bad shit that keeps piling up one after another, Sally Field's character finds a
way out through them? I don't think so. A black man escapes severe punishment after stealing sliver in the Jim
Crow South? I don't think so. He'll be lynched. Then again, why would Moze do that if he knew better?
It's a mistake to cast Amy Madigan and Lindsay Crouse in the same film because they look alike. I can't tell
the difference between these two. It's not clear to me what their problems, which take up a significant amount
of time, have to do with the main plot. Happily, Ed Harris married Amy Madigan in Waxahachie, Texas, shortly
afterwards. They went on to do eight films together.
All in all, Places in the Heart works in spite of Sally Field.
Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Plan 9 from Outer Space has been widely proclaimed one of the worst films made, but honestly, it isn't bad.
Yeah, there are tons of mistakes all over the place, but they're amusing. If I will teach a course about cinema,
Plan 9 from Outer Space is among those films I'll cover. There's much to learn from it as well as
Ed Wood.
At one point, it's light outside, and then in the next shot, nighttime has arrived. Then, it goes back and
forth constantly for five minutes. The special effects are clever. All Edward D. Wood, Jr., had to do is to show the
strings to make everything obvious.
Even the spaceship looks like a hubcap which is small as compared to the headstones. The pilots
fly an airplane, yet the steering wheel looks to be made out of cardboard. For communication
purposes, I don't think a translator is needed given the fact that the aliens already speak English.
The acting is better than expected, almost saving the film. Oftentimes, bad movies are plagued by cheesy
moments, but Plan 9 from Outer Space doesn't seem to have any. One big problem is the subplots having
nothing to do with each other. As a result, it's hard to make heads or tails out of the mumbo jumbo mess.
All in all, Plan 9 from Outer Space is the Citizen Kane of bad cinema.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles (1987)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
4/04, 2/06, 9/21
2/06:
If there's any performance that the Academy Award voters had completely missed during the 80's, it's John Candy
for Planes, Trains & Automobiles.
What happened to recognition for comedy films? It seems like they only hand them out for dramas and musicals. That's boring.
There's no question Del Griffith is an all-time classic. If I think about the film, he's the first thing that
comes to my mind. Sometimes, when I go traveling, be it on the plane, train, or automobile, I do feel like Steve Martin's
character.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles is a consistently funny picture with many good, unforgettable moments that hit
the heart of comedy. Hence, it's John Candy's finest hour. What a chemistry he has with Steve Martin.
All in all, John Candy should've won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor for Planes, Trains & Automobiles.
9/21:
Planes, Trains & Automobiles is an all-time classic that's highly relatable for everybody, no matter what decade it's
viewed in.
This one should've seen John Candy winning the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. It's the best performance of his career;
of course, there's no surprise that he and Steve Martin called Planes, Trains & Automobiles their favorite movie
they had done. Honestly, there's not a single flaw.
Easily the most important scene is when Steve Martin went on rant in the hotel room while John Candy was looking
vulnerable. That's Oscar stuff right there. What John Hughes failed to accomplish at the end of
She's Having a Baby is the retrospective technique which was perfectly
implemented when Steve Martin thought to himself several episodes that occurred the last few days. It
worked because they were so funny and memorable.
Planes, Trains & Automobiles scores high in comedy. It's almost a laugh-a-minute all the way
through. There are many funny scenes and one-liners involving John Candy. Steve Martin plays the straight man quite well
although his character can be occasionally mean. No matter what, their chemistry is instant.
By the way, if you're curious as to why John Candy sported a black eye toward the end, it's because a lot of scenes
were deleted from the original cut. One of them is Steve Martin decking John Candy after learning that he failed to purchase
insurance for the rental car before it was burned to a crisp.
All in all, Del Griffith is a legendary character, and John Candy should've won the Oscar.
Platoon (1986)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
6/05, 7/15, 9/20
6/05:
Platoon is an outstanding military picture about the Vietnam War by depicting the realities of infantry combat.
The performances by the ensemble cast are brilliantly rendered, but it's Tom Berenger and Willem Dafoe who take the film to
another level that makes the whole thing a tragedy. Keith David and Kevin Dillon are next in line for playing memorable
characters.
However, I'm not sure about Charlie Sheen due to his immaturity in terms of handling this kind of role. The most thrilling,
impactful scene of the film is Willem Dafoe's death run. It's the biggest reason why Platoon won Best Picture of
1986.
All in all, Platoon is one of the fewest definitive films of what the Vietnam War was like.
7/15:
Platoon, the Best Picture winner of 1986, realistically captures what it's like being in the middle of infantry combat
during the Vietnam War.
For a long time, I had stood fast that Charlie Sheen wasn't mature enough for the role of Chris Taylor, hence my rating of
'9' for the film. But now, I'm ready to say he's perfect, concede a '10' to Platoon, and declare it a cinematic
masterpiece of realism in war. The film was shot on location in Philippines, hence many kudos to Oliver Stone for not
faking it.
Everybody else in the ensemble cast is brilliant. The two standouts are Tom Berenger and Willem Dafoe. Their performances
speak volumes of what Platoon is all about. The battle between their characters is arresting, mystifying, and devastating.
What I love about Barnes (the scar on his face is awesome, adding a dimension to his personality) is how he's converted
into an invincible demigod to his men. I can see it in their eyes. Chris Taylor perfectly sums him up when he complains,
"People like Barnes just go on making up the rules any way they want." It's what led to Elias' demise because Barnes didn't
like how he's gung-ho about doing things the right way.
Although there are many significant moments throughout, only one stands out the most, and it's
Willem Dafoe's death run with helicopters hovering around the landscape. It's among the greatest, most powerful scenes ever
filmed and the clincher for taking home the Best Picture award.
War films come and go, and most of them have been unrealistic and one-sided by showing only the beautiful aspects of heroism.
But not in Platoon. There's no glamorization going on. It's as real as it gets. In fact, the film is probably a
good educational tool for whether or not a prospective recruit can handle the realities of infantry combat.
All in all, Platoon is one of the greatest Vietnam War pictures made, period.
9/20:
Out of many outstanding films Oliver Stone had directed, Platoon is his crowning achievement that depicts the
realities of infantry combat which is nothing like The Green Berets.
It's certainly a star-studded cast, and many of them went on to bigger things: Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Willem Dafoe,
Forest Whitaker, and Johnny Depp. Of course, there are also strong performances turned in by Keith David, Kevin Dillon,
John C. McGinley, and Francesco Quinn.
The fascinating aspect is the two polar opposites: Barnes and Elias with a bunch of alpha males gravitating to either. King's
philosophy of how he sees things as they are is dead-on. The most famous and powerful scene of the
film is Elias' desperate run from the Viet Cong soldiers before putting his hands up in the air.
What's not well-known is how difficult it was for Oliver Stone to get the film financed. It started with his screenplay
Break during the late 60's which was sent to Jim Morrison of The Doors who eventually never read it.
Because the Vietnam War was so unpopular with the public, all of the major studios refused to touch Platoon.
Although The Deer Hunter and Apocalpyse Now
got made, everybody thought they were the Vietnam War pictures for all time. Hemdale came in and decided to
green-light Platoon for good along with Salvador, and the rest is history.
All in all, the tagline "The first casualty of war is innocence" is what describes Platoon the best.
Play Dirty (1969)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Shot on location in Spain as a stand-in for North Africa, Play Dirty may have been a bit ahead of its
time by showing the brutality of war.
Going back and forth between '5' and '6', I ultimately decided on the former because of the slow pace and
unlikeable characters save for Michael Caine's. I was hoping he would shoot some of them dead early just to
make a point, but to my dismay, he never did.
Instead, I'm forced to put up with Nigel Davenport's arrogance from start to finish. Sure, his character has
superior knowledge, but has he ever heard of "teamwork"? Apparently not. To his credit, he did know
better in all situations except for the final time when he deferred to Caine's that cost both their
lives. I was like, "Take off the uniform first and just wait a lot longer until the fighting has died down."
The photography of the desert is quite nice. Another admirable aspect is the nitty-gritty of what
the men have to go through to reach their objective. That being said, I feel some of the tough parts
can be avoidable, especially when it comes to saving the tires from more wear and tear. However, the rape
scene with one of the men being shot in the buttocks for his comeuppance isn't realistic; the filmmakers
should've allowed it to happen as it's always been an ugly part of war.
After the whole mission turns out to be a dud, these guys reach a new location and figure out what
to do next. But the Germans get a word from the British that there's a group of misfit commandos in
the area. If they were already aware of this and knew their names, why did they let the guys linger
around with the potential of blowing up the fuel dump? That's what I don't get. Ditto for the pointless
scene of sweating heavily in the middle of a bombed-out area when the only way the explosive charge will detonate
if the jack is picked up.
All in all, Play Dirty is better than either
The Guns of Navarone or
The Heroes of Telemark by being real, but it doesn't work if
I don't like the characters.
Play Misty for Me (1971)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
1/04, 7/08
7/08:
Play Misty for Me is the film that started it all for Clint Eastwood as he'll direct many, many great pictures for
years to come.
What a story, and what a performance by Jessica Walter. Clint Eastwood certainly knows how to be cool. A lot of guys can
relate to Dave Garver when it comes to dealing with an emotionally damaged female after a one-time fling. He's
a hip deejay with an even-keeled temperament but is pushed to his limits before he can't take it anymore. So, he's forced to
be harsh with Evelyn who's dangerously psychotic.
As for the cinematography, there are great-looking scenes including the California coastline and the Monterey Jazz Festival.
At the same time, stressful elements are in place while Dave Garver's behavior changes over time in terms of dealing with
the situation.
All in all, Play Misty for Me, not Fatal Attraction, is the original.
The Player (1992)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/05, 4/24
7/05:
Jerry Seinfeld once said: "What's amazing to me about the library is it's a place where you go in, you can take
out any book you want; they just give it to you and say, 'Bring it back when you're done.' It reminds me of like
this pathetic friend that everybody had when they were a little kid who would let you borrow any of his stuff if
you would just be his friend. That's what the library is: a government funded pathetic friend. And that's why
everybody kinds of bullies the library. 'I'll bring it back on time...I'll bring it back late. Oh, what are you
going to do? Charge me a nickel?'"
It's what I think whenever I see Tim Robbins. Seriously, who the hell likes him? He has the kind of face I want
to punch. Awful camera work, pointless script, unconnected scenes, senseless dialogue, weak characters, and
overdone casting are among the many problems that plague The Player which seems to be the closest to
An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn
in spirit. Lyle Lovett...what's he doing in this? At any rate, it led to his marriage to Julia Roberts.
All in all, Hollyweird needs to get over itself and start doing something about the sex predators who've run
rampant in the industry.
4/24:
The subject matter of The Player isn't interesting.
Yeah, it's a solid Robert Altman picture with tons of big-name stars in cameo roles, but since the protagonist
is a murderer, I don't know why I should care about him. The police investigation disrupts the flow with bad
acting jobs by Whoopi Goldberg and Lyle Lovett. The strange part is that there are famous people using their
professional names yet a few are cast as fictional characters despite them being already well known.
Meanwhile, Tim Robbins' performance is the winning feature. I like the Hollywood stuff, especially how movie
deals are done. Not rocket science by any means, producing a successful film is a crapshoot from a profit
standpoint, but who cares about the Oscars? It's all about raking in millions, and neither art nor integrity
is the primary focus unlike Griffin Mill's silly speech at some awards banquet.
All in all, I usually like Robert Altman's films, but The Player isn't for me.
Pleasantville (1998)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/15
10/15:
If you're white and live in a bubble, you'll enjoy Pleasantville.
Although I hate a couple of actors in the cast, all performances have been good. Nobody stands out. So, it's more of an
ensemble picture.
Pleasantly, the film isn't syrupy as feared, and there are good points being made. I like the idea of a world that's
literally black and white, and when changes are introduced, it becomes colorized. That being said, the best part of the
show is the cinematography. The use of color in black-and-white films started in
Rumble Fish and was continued with
Schindler's List. Now, they've found a clever story for Pleasantville to
exploit the technique to its fullest.
There was a character who mentioned the word of a particular color. How can that be if the concept doesn't exist in the TV
world? The makeup David applied on his fictional TV mother isn't convincing. On the other hand, the following
trivia is taken from IMDb: "Though many believe that the shot of Bud raising his arms up in triumph during a rainstorm is an
homage to The Shawshank Redemption, Gary Ross thought it was an original
idea [but] didn't realize the connection until after the film was released." Bullshit.
By the way, if bathrooms don't exist in TV, then how do real characters deal with the dilemma? There can't be any
soap or shampoo, either. Also, is David trying to replace his real parents with fictional parents? Now, that's confusing.
All in all, despite the heavy white feel, Pleasantville has been a cerebral and therefore enjoyable viewing
experience.
The Pledge (2001)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
Here we go again with Sean Penn's fucked-up interpretation of the world.
I went through it once in The Crossing Guard, and that was enough already.
Jack Nicholson comes back for another round and tries to confuse me in his own manipulative way. The title seems
appropriate because it's what Sean Penn got out of his friends by allowing them to have a five-minute cameo. The examples
are as follows:
Sam Shepard shows up for a few minutes, pretending not to believe what the lead character says. Harry Dean Stanton sits in
his chair, so he can accept an offer to move out of Nevada for Arizona. Benicio del Toro does his yoga breathing exercises
while sporting a long-black wig before shooting himself in the mouth. Mickey Rourke has a chance to imitate Sean Penn for
a minute by breaking down to cry. Helen Mirren takes a moment to ask the lead character, "Are you still sexually active?"
Tom Noonan is reincarnated as Mr. Francis Dollarhyde. Aaron Eckhart gets to break all the rules of a proper police
interrogation.
Have I left out anybody else? And if I did, who cares? The plot has been done over and over and over: backwards,
forward, backwards, and forward. And the ending? It sucks and is a pretentious attempt by Sean Penn to make his
pseudo-intellectual film appear deep.
Questioning the tactics employed by Jerry Black, I think he could've saved a lot of time by grilling the deceased
girl's friend about the picture of a potential suspect. Instead, he drops her and does it the hard way. How about a DNA test?
By the way, why would Jerry Black buy a gas station? What's the point when he can set
up a lemonade stand for a week and count the moving cars? Why is Jerry ignored when he has seniority with years of
experience only to be pushed over by some young know-nothing detective?
All in all, don't bother with The Pledge because when you reach the end, Sean Penn will make you feel like shit
for watching it in the first place.
Plein soleil (1960)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/08, 12/20
12/08:
Known as Purple Noon, Plein soleil is a beautiful-looking exotic picture, especially on sea and
around Italy.
This is the one that made newcomer Alain Delon, a blue-eyed French actor who emotes little with hardly much
to say, an international star. It's admittedly a very good performance as Tom Ripley. Spontaneous and
free-spirited, Maurice Ronet is marvelous as Phillippe Greenleaf. When his death happened, it's a shocking
scene. Some of the film's power went away with him.
Although I saw The Talented Mr. Ripley before Plein soleil, the latter is much better than the
remake. It's just that I'm disappointed to be spoiled because I already knew what happened.
All in all, I need to see Plein soleil again for further evaluation.
12/20:
Perfect and sublime, Alain Delon is all that and more in Plein soleil, giving one of the finest
performances of his career.
It's also a strange movie because of the relationship between Tom Ripley and Philippe Greenleaf. Did the latter
ask for it, or was he playing along just for the humor? Who knows? Either way, the ill-advised strategy would
cost him his life.
Of course, nobody else, not even Freddy, is fooled by Ripley who almost manages to get away with the murders
until the gotcha ending which is unfortunately not the original as conceived in the book by Patricia Highsmith.
I was rooting for him, but of course, he made some dumb mistakes like hanging around the area where people
could recognize him.
In the meantime, I love the exquisite photography of Italy: land and water. It's, by far, the best part of
the film. Complementing it is the beauty of three principal stars: Alain Delon, Maurice Ronet, and Marie Laforêt.
They all have the vibe and are sumptuous-looking people.
All in all, forget The Talented Mr. Ripley; Plein soleil is the film to see.
A Plumbing We Will Go (1940)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
A comedy short by the Three Stooges, A Plumbing We Will Go never fails to be funny.
This one made me laugh a lot. Unfortunately, the reason for the low rating of '7' is that the momentum faded away whenever
the focus was on somebody other than Moe, Larry, or Curly. At least, the script is ingenious, and the lines are
well-written.
All in all, when you decide to get a plumber, make sure not to get the Three Stooges; absolutely nuts they are.
Poetic Justice (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/04, 6/25
6/25:
Poetic Justice is a mix of Boyz n the Hood and
Baby Boy with some Jason's Lyric
thrown in.
Instead of Jada Pinkett Smith, it's Janet Jackson who makes her silver screen debut. Showing off an iconic
look with braids, she has chemistry with Tupac Shakur, and their characters make a nice couple. It's funny
to watch them, along with Regina King and Joe Torry, fighting and making up back and
forth on the road trip from Los Angeles to Oakland with a couple of stops to partake of a family reunion
barbeque and an African-American carnival.
Thanks to John Singleton, the writing is engaging and sometimes humorous. I don't know what the critics were
talking about when they dissed it. It's certainly quality, and I've always liked the film, having seen it
several times since 1993. Some of the poems by Maya Angelou (she plays Aunt June at the picnic) are
interspersed.
While there are plenty of familiar faces from Boyz n the Hood,
Tyra Ferrell should be singled out for her great supporting performance. There's a part in the film that's
not explained at all, and it's when the gay barber (Roger Guenveur Smith) took the phone call and had a long
mournful look afterwards. I'll say he received the bad news of being tested positive for AIDS.
All in all, John Singleton talked about a lack of black female characters in the leading role and wanted
to correct it, and the result was Poetic Justice.
Point Blank (1967)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/14
6/14:
Deliverance was great, but John Boorman couldn't direct.
That much is evident in Point Blank and more cogently so in
Exorcist II: The Heretic. The reason why the
neo-noir picture gets '6' from me is Lee Marvin. He's captivating and embodies the word "cool."
With the exception of Cat Ballou, any action film with a lot of Lee Marvin is always
worth watching. He steals the show in every scene. The funniest is when the wind was blowing against Lee Marvin's hair as
he blasted away at the bed repeatedly like a schoolboy amateur. There must be a blow-up poster of this image along with
the title The Lee Marvin Experience.
All the kidding aside, the rest of the film is a dud, but Henry Berman's editing is great which is coupled by Philip
Lathrop's strong cinematography. On top of the bland cast, the inclusion of Angie Dickinson is redundant considering
the fact that she was in the remake of The Killers with Lee Marvin. The last
fifteen minutes is what killed the film for good by showing too much style over substance.
All in all, Point Blank is worth watching for Lee Marvin's fans, but the direction needs a lot of work.
Point Break (1991)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/02, 6/03, 4/04, 9/04, 3/05, 12/06, 5/19, 7/24
12/06:
There are few films that are as exciting and inspiring as Point Break.
I bet if anyone watched it just once, he would've entertained some thoughts about changing his entire lifestyle.
Bodhi perfectly described the truth-seeking experience, "Pure adrenaline, right?!? The ultimate rush. Other
guys snort for it, jab a vein for it—all you gotta do is jump." Sounds pretty simple, eh?
Patrick Swayze, who did the skydiving stunts, should've been Oscar-nominated. He's captivating. I can realize
it in Johnny Utah's eyes when he saw what Bodhi did. The other characters are well-sketched: Angelo Pappas, Ben
Harp, Tyler, Roach, Nathanial, Grommet, Bunker, Warchild (Vincent Klyn), and Tone, among others. Each of them
should have his own movie because they're all super cool.
There are many unforgettable scenes: the night surfing, the foot chase through the alleys and houses, the bank
robberies, Johnny Utah's "they're ghosts" moment of epiphany, his taunting against Pappas for telling Nam
stories, John C. McGinley's asshole speech, and the ending.
In case if you're interested, the ex-Presidents' masks are LBJ, Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan,
and they're killed in the same chronological order of their term years. Ironically, with the exception of Carter,
all of the former presidents were bigger criminals than the bank robbers themselves.
All in all, Point Break is among most thrilling movies of all time.
5/19:
I knew who Kathryn Bigelow was before she won Oscars for The Hurt Locker because she directed
Point Break.
It's one of the most adrenaline-rush pictures with some of the best editing ever. It's like being there. The best
scene is when Keanu Reeves was chasing Patrick Swayze on foot through the alleys and houses. The surfing and
skydiving scenes are can't-beat as well. So is the ending with Bodhi who meets his destiny.
There are cool people, and there are super cool people. Point Break is full of the latter. The central
focus is Patrick Swayze doing all of his stunts in skydiving. It's obvious his character has so much charisma
that Johnny Utah can't resist. He just wants to be that guy. Besides these two, there are great acting
performances, especially by Gary Busey, John C. McGinley, and Lori Petty. It's funny to see the Red Hot Chili
Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis in agony after shooting himself in the foot.
All in all, if you don't like Point Break, you don't like movies, period.
6/24:
World-class editing is evident in Point Break.
Point of No Return (1993)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
Yep, the title says it all: Point of No Return.
John Badham had outdone himself this time. After directing the iconic
Saturday Night Fever and a couple of exceptional
films, he kept churning out horrible stuff year in, year out to the point of no return. An American remake of
La Femme Nikita, it's such a bad, bad, bad film. I can't believe Bridget Fonda
was given the leading role in a major picture.
The first half is corny, but things improve slightly during the second half. Falling asleep for a majority of the
time, I woke up when Harvey Keitel appeared as the "cleaner." Now, why does a government agency pick up a stupid girl
with ugly teeth and twenty years of baggage for something that's advanced when somebody from an Ivy League school will do?
IQ does play a role, you know?
All in all, let the title Point of No Return be a warning for those who seek to cross it.
Point of Origin (2002)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/21
8/21:
The story of what happened in Point of Origin is true, and it's even stranger than fiction.
A fire captain and arson investigator working for the city of Glendale, California, John Orr was a serial
arsonist during his free time, setting almost two thousand fires for three decades. Curious is that some of
them occurred during the same time of the conventions for arson investigators. His modus operandi was a
time-delay incendiary device which consisted of a cigarette, matches, a rubber band, and a piece of paper.
The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives recovered a piece of paper from one incident that
contained a partial fingerprint. They were able to match it among the ten suspects compiled by chief arson
investigator Marvin Casey whose theory of a firefighter doing it was virtually ignored by everybody. Oddly,
the print was compared the first time, but it resulted in no matches. Then, the analysis was redone two years
later against the same lineup which led to the arrest of John Orr.
What made Orr's case more airtight is he wrote a fiction book called Points of Origin that was highly
detailed, especially the fire at an hardware store which killed four people. He investigated it before
strenuously determining the true cause to be arson, not an electrical fire accident as originally believed by
everybody else. Consequently, Orr was convicted and sentenced to life in prison without parole. Prior to his
arrest, the average number of brush fires in the area was sixty-seven annually for ten years; afterwards, it
went down to just one.
Back to the film, it's quite good although structured in a weird way with lots of guessing game going on. The
special effects are occasionally overdone. Although it was John Orr all along, I don't understand why the
filmmakers were wasting my time with a red-haired guy. The star of the show, Ray Liotta, is excellent while
John Leguizamo is fine and, more important, behaves normally.
All in all, Point of Origin has been an interesting history lesson.
Poison Ivy (1992)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/08
8/08:
The sight of Drew Barrymore trying to be the slutty version of Madonna doesn't work for me.
It's what she attempted to do for Poison Ivy which is similar to Stanley Kubrick's
Lolita in many ways. Somehow, I think the premise has potential, but the lion's
share of blame rests on the starless cast.
Showing no purpose, the script is poor which is about a white trash girl who's lucky to stay at the mansion for no reason.
Many viewers have called Poison Ivy a sexy picture. Um, no...it's as tame as anything by Madonna. I finally decided
on '1' because of the unbelievable car accident.
Not wearing her seatbelt, Sylvie Cooper's head goes through the windshield which should've resulted in a major brain
injury, if not death. Then, she leaves the hospital with a simple bandage on her head which keeps shifting throughout.
In real life, she will have been finished for all intents and purposes.
All in all, Sarah Gilbert has no place in movies while Drew Barrymore, who took advantage of her family's legacy, needs to
retire from acting for good.
Poison Ivy II: Lily (1996)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/08
8/08:
Poison Ivy II: Lily is a big improvement over the original.
The acting is better, thanks to Johnathon Schaech and Xander Berkely. Alyssa Milano gives a credible performance by playing
it low-key, but she didn't have to be nude. The true problem lies with the direction. At first, I was thinking, "Okay, it's a
soft porno flick minus a story." Then, it became "Okay now, it's about the emulation of Ivy." Now, it's "Okay, it's about a
disastrous love triangle with an Asian female who emerges from The Phantom of the Opera."
Changing it up for one more time, the story was switched to "a professor falling madly in love with his student and going beyond
the boundaries of forbidden love." After a while, it turns out there's no plot after all. The funny thing is that, amid the chaos, the
film had a lot of potential to begin with. Only if Anne Goursaud could focus on the love triangle drama, it might
have worked out.
All in all, Poison Ivy II: Lily would've been better if it had a proper direction.
Poison Ivy: The New Seduction (1997)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/08
8/08:
Showing vast improvement in all areas, Poison Ivy: The New Seduction is the best picture of the franchise.
For the first time, I now know what Poison Ivy is all about. The performances are excellent for a B movie. There's
plenty of nudity throughout, and the scenes are a mix of sexy and average. What works the best is Violet's diabolical,
devious scheme to be at the top.
Jaime Pressly may not be the most expressive actress alive, but she takes command of the role and thus gets the job done.
I also like Megan Edwards as the confused Meg Greer who tries to live the good life.
However, the disappointing ending prevents me from giving this a higher rating than '7'. No matter what, it's superior
to the last two parts. Yes, Poison Ivy: The New Seduction is a trashy and slutty movie, but it's all in good
trashy and slutty fun.
All in all, of the entire franchise, Poison Ivy: The New Seduction is the only one worth watching.
Police (1916)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/07
10/07:
Departing from the usual rating of '1', Police doesn't turn out to be awful as expected.
Somewhere in the mess, there seems to be a story. Charlie Chaplin is slightly better this time, and there's
less fighting. Yet there's an excessive amount of slapstick.
All in all, Police looks better, but let's face it: it's still shit.
Police Academy (1984)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
This franchise used to appear on every TV channel all the time back then.
Let's be fair: Police Academy is a great, inventive comedy picture. Sure, the plot is improbable, but
what the hell? It didn't stop me from enjoying the movie.
Giving a memorable performance as Lieutenant Harris, G.W. Bailey will always be associated with
Police Academy with the ability to win a Dennis Hopper look-alike contest any time of the day. Who can
ever forget the black police officer who imitates all kinds of sound effects? And Tackleberry who thinks
he's Dirty Harry? The lovable Commandment Lassard?
All in all, Police Academy is an underrated comedy picture.
Police Academy 2:
Their First Assignment (1985)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Hysterically funny in the first three quarters, the comedy of Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment
starts to decline before ending badly.
The biggest mistake is leaving out the memorable characters such as Lieutenant Harris although his replacement
has done a good job. Many jokes are clever and original. I like the idea of a new girlfriend for Tackleberry
which works out well.
Of course, Michael Winslow comes back again as the sound effects machine. He could've done that for
every film going forward. That's why he's called the "Man of 10,000 Sound Effects."
Steve Guttenberg looks off, but I think he did okay by trying to keep up with everybody. The sorriest of the
bunch is Bobcat Goldthwait who's in dire need of a major brain surgery. Any time he appears, the movie stops
being funny because his brand of comedy doesn't work.
All in all, the quality of Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment is close to the original, but the last
twenty-five minutes isn't as good.
Police Academy 3:
Back in Training (1986)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Police Academy 3: Back in Training is an incomprehensible dud.
G.W. Bailey hasn't come back yet. Bobcat Goldthwait is badly in need of a lobotomy job because there's
something broken somewhere in that brain of his. For the first time, Michael Winslow is starting to get
on my nerves.
There's nothing funny here which is a repeat of the last two parts with many recycled jokes and horrid characters.
It's what I call a "look-at-the-timer" movie. Hopefully, the next four sequels will be better with some
originality, improved jokes, and tolerable characters, or I'm going to be taken on a long ride of boredom.
All in all, the franchise should get rid of Bobcat Goldthwait but bring back G.W. Bailey for the next part.
Police Academy 4:
Citizens on Patrol (1987)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
G.W. Bailey is finally back!
And...it didn't work. Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol is more of the same crap that runs low
on jokes. I'm starting to get the feeling that Commandant Lassard may be mentally retarded after all. There's
absolutely no doubt of that when it comes to Bobcat Goldthwait who should be on the waiting list to have his
brain substituted with rocks.
I'm surprised that Proctor is a lieutenant which must be a bad joke. The filmmakers
made the erroneous mistake of adding David Spade to the cast. Who the hell finds him funny?
All in all, at this rate the Police Academy franchise is going, it's headed for a major leap off the
cliff into a blazing bonfire.
Police Academy 5:
Assignment: Miami Beach (1988)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/06
12/06:
Five Police Academy movies, and there are two more left...good gracious.
My complaint is the same as before. Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach looks initially improved
in some areas but falls apart not long after. At least, the good news is Bobcat Goldthwait is finally gone.
I'm surprised that Proctor is still a lieutenant when I thought he would be demoted based on his stupidity
alone. Every character has grown more lame each time a sequel is released. Most certainly, Commandant
Lassard is a full-blown mental retard. Well...it goes without saying that there's no point in adding more and
more sequels to prolong the Police Academy franchise since they're all
virtually indistinguishable.
All in all, Police Academy 5: Assignment: Miami Beach should've been the final sequel.
Police Academy 6:
City Under Siege (1989)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
*sigh*
Police Academy 6: City Under Siege is like eating stale crackers. Hence, there's no point in continuing
any further.
Well, I can't believe the franchise lasted this long. Although Michael Winslow sort of helps, the usual
characters show up and try to get things going, but it already feels old and tired.
All in all, it's time to flush the franchise down the storm drain.
Police Academy:
Mission to Moscow (1994)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
It's finally over.
Seven godforsaken movies...it's way too many. Save for Captain Harris' makeup while pretending to be a
ballet dancer, nothing works in Police Academy: Mission to Moscow.
According to IMDb, "Ron Perlman (Konstantine Konali) considered his work on this movie 'a public service'
by shutting down the Police Academy movies for over two decades.
Perlman said, 'I'm not going to apologize. I did that piece of shit.'"
All in all, please no more Police Academy sequels for the love of mankind.
Pollock (2000)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
7/15
7/15:
If there's a role that Ed Harris was born to play, it's Jackson Pollock.
I'm surprised he didn't win the Oscar. Instead, it went to Marcia Gay Harden for what's an average performance.
Pollock is a biopic of a great American artist named Jackson Pollock who secured his fame as Jack the Dripper.
The style only belongs to him. Anyone who tries to emulate it will be flat-out accused of being a fraud.
What makes Ed Harris' performance special is that he became Jackson Pollock and never separated himself. He's always in
character and shows depth of the artist during quiet moments. It doesn't matter if Ed Harris is by himself or with others,
he steals the scene every time.
Taken from IMDb, here's an interesting piece of trivia that I agree with: "Ed Harris' father bought his son a book about
Jackson Pollock simply because he felt Ed bore a strong resemblance to the painter. Ever since then, Ed Harris became
fascinated with Pollock's life."
The best part is the sight of his paintings; it's inspiring to watch how they're done. To enhance my knowledge of Jackson
Pollock, Ed Harris is smart to show off many of them that are next to each other against the wall around the apartment and
the house. Unfortunately, the film isn't deep as I've hoped for. It'll be nice to have more insight into Pollock's
life instead of the clichéd portrayal of an artist with a tortured soul.
All in all, Pollock is Ed Harris' magnum opus.
Poltergeist (1982)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/05
12/05:
Poltergeist is an open-minded film about ghosts.
I love the story, and it makes sense. The acting is also first-rate. Even better is the special effects. Although Tobe
Hooper is credited as the director, Steven Spielberg actually did it. The fantasy touch that he brought to the table is
identifiable.
One aspect I don't like is the long running time which is due to the family staying in the house after what happened with
the girl. Had this been thought out through, Poltergeist would've gotten a '10' from me.
Sadly, Heather O'Rourke, the blond-haired girl, lived a short life, having passed away in 1988 from cardiac arrest and
septic shock that was caused by a misdiagnosed intestinal stenosis at the age of 12. Another tragedy is Dominique Dunne,
who plays Dana, was strangled by her boyfriend on October 30, 1982. She slipped into a coma and died five days later.
Her killer was convicted of voluntary manslaughter but served three and a half years in prison.
All in all, Poltergeist is a near paranormal masterpiece.
Poltergeist II: The Other Side (1986)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/05
12/05:
Poltergeist II: The Other Side is a bunch of nonsense.
Characters come and go, contributing nothing much. The story, if that's what they call it, is incomprehensible. What
the hell happened to the oldest daughter? She disappeared just like that although we know the tragedy of Dominique Dunne.
But at least, the filmmakers should come up with a believable reason for her absence.
Poltergeist II: The Other Side isn't an open-minded film as it was in the first part. The characters have stopped
believing, and therefore, I've stopped caring anymore. Hollywood needs to learn this rule: always pick up the pieces where
the original story left off. Any lingering plotholes should be patched up as well.
Does the old guy remind anyone of the serial killer Albert Fish or what? Well known for appearing in
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Will Sampson, who plays the medicine man, is an awful actor.
All in all, Poltergeist II: The Other Side is a typical cash cow sequel that's been freely milked.
Poltergeist III (1988)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
12/05
12/05:
Okay, it's better this time around.
However, Poltergeist III is nowhere near the quality of the original. Despite the running time of ninety-eight minutes,
the last twenty feels winding and boring. The shrink gets on my nerves constantly.
The script is weak in spite of some clarification in the plot, but it eventually becomes pointless. At least, the acting
is better, and the special effects look improved with nice mirror tricks.
I don't understand the thing with Trish/Pat or the reason why Carol Anne was given away. It would've been nice
to know what happened to her parents. Oh, what about the boy who was interested in the older girl at the end?
All in all, that's it for the Poltergeist franchise.
Poolhall Junkies (2002)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/05
12/05:
Poolhall Junkies is an energetic and hip picture that drags here and there until Christopher Walken finally shows up.
The biggest mistake occurs in the last twenty minutes which is the constant shots of reactions during the pool play. I like
Mars Callahan's character. He had obviously watched The Hustler and
The Color of Money many times, hence the
mimic of Tom Cruise's character. Having a genuine background in billiards, it's his second foray as a director.
My, my...it's a flashback from the 80's. File this away under "What the Hell Happened to Ricky Schroder?" Once upon a time,
he dropped the "y" from his first name in the hopes of being taken seriously as an actor, but I'm quite sure it
goes beyond than that.
It's the final film for Rod Steiger who gives another decent performance. What a great career he had that's highlighted by
sitting next to Marlon Brando during the famous taxi scene in On the Waterfront.
Speaking of great movie moments, Christopher Walken opted to perform the trick shot himself. It usually takes a lot of
tries to pull it off successfully, but he made through the first time, hence his genuine reaction.
All in all, like Rick(y) Schroder, what the heck happened to Mars Callahan afterwards?
The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/08, 8/25
1/08:
Mickey Rourke and Eric Roberts in the same film?
Count me in! Unfortunately, The Pope of Greenwich Village is disappointing. I'll have to start with
Eric Roberts. He overacts, but there's something special going on. This is the primary reason why I'll like to
see the film again to render more appropriate judgment.
Mickey Rourke is nothing special, and he and Eric Roberts look Irish, not Italian. Daryl Hannah has a role
but disappears like a virgin on prom night at some point. It'll be nice if she could...you know...contribute.
I hate the writing. It's so theatrical. What shocked me, of which I would learn afterwards, is the movie was
meant to be a comedy. However, there's a strong performance, and it's given by Geraldine Page who plays the
deceased dirty cop's mother. It's quite short, but more screen time for her would be advisable.
All in all, one's enjoyment of The Pope of Greenwich Village will depend entirely on Eric Roberts'
performance.
8/25:
I wanted to see The Pope of Greenwich Village to reevaluate Eric Roberts' performance and must say
he was on another planet.
Mickey Rourke is okay but often looks fake for an Italian while Daryl Hannah is forgettable. An Oscar
nomination was given to Geraldine Page for her extremely short performance, but I think she needed more screen
time before earning it. The Academy also made a mistake by not bestowing it to Eric Roberts for Best Supporting
Actor; he was pretty much mesmerizing.
There's a point in what Eric Roberts tried to do by painting Paulie as a totally dumb loser through overacting.
It's risky but controlled. Charlie stuck with him through thick and thin not because he's family but a character.
Paulie is actually not all that different from Robert De Niro's Johnny Boy from
Mean Streets. The same is said for Mickey Rourke in the place of Harvey
Keitel. Therefore, The Pope of Greenwich Village would be an ordinary crime picture had Eric Roberts not
been cast.
Eric Roberts worked on his character, right down to the permed hair, for eight months by spending time in Little
Italy but was asked by director Ron Maxwell to resign on the spot one day before the commencement of filming
because he thought Eric Roberts was doing everything the wrong way. When Mickey Rourke found out about it, he
had him fired and replaced with Stuart Rosenberg.
One big problem is the writing. It's more theatrical than not, giving me a hard time to stick with the film for
a while in one sitting. The last thirty minutes needs a lot of work with the two principal characters going out
with a bigger bang just like
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Also, the story
isn't fully there in terms of logic, especially when it comes to the dirty cop who died in the elevator shaft.
All in all, Eric Roberts gives a top two performance of his career in The Pope of Greenwich Village with
the other being Star 80 that'll never be topped in any way, shape, or form.
Pork Chop Hill (1959)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/04, 5/24
5/24:
Despite featuring about a dozen of big-time names, Pork Chop Hill tries hard to separate itself from
the pack, but no dice.
I can see why Gregory Peck wanted Lewis Milestone for the job because he directed
All Quiet on the Western Front. The actor
was deeply affected by it, a film that I consider to be a top five masterpiece of all time. So, what went wrong?
For starters, Gregory Peck gets too much attention, leaving barely any character development for others with the
exception of George Shibata (a fun fact is he's the first Asian graduate ever of any U.S. service academy
in history; after West Point, he went into Air Force and flew thirty missions during the Korean War) as
Lieutenant Tsugi Ohashi. Some is granted to Woody Strode and Robert Blake, but it's not enough. Secondly, there
are no powerful moments. The same type of fighting to retake the hill is done to death throughout. Hence, there
must be variety to change it up.
While watching Pork Chop Hill, I thought back to Platoon for getting
everything right: the characters, the dramatic scenes, and the effective messages about the futility of war
and how the definition of "enemy" kept getting blurred. At least, I like how the Chinese radio announcer was
used in an attempt to defeat the soldiers psychologically. To improve the film, showing the peace conference
talks while the men are still fighting might be beneficial to create tension. Inserting the Chinese side in a
back-and-forth manner with the Americans is another way.
All in all, Pork Chop Hill is a noble effort but falls short to be a moving war picture by failing to
take advantage of the power of editing.
Porky's (1981)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/11, 8/16
2/11:
Porky's is, quite simply, a disturbing movie.
All in all, everybody who loved Porky's needs a serious reality check.
8/16:
It's disturbing to watch Porky's that's based on how the teenagers' diseased, sex-starved minds work.
A funny movie? Not really. It's more like a sad, embarrassing phase that people will like to forget.
All in all, Porky's is a highly offensive film that depicts women as mere sex objects.
Porky's II: The Next Day (1983)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/11, 10/16
2/11:
Okay, that was bad.
All in all, skip Porky's II: The Next Day.
10/16:
Not a single laugh came out of me while watching Porky's II: The Next Day.
All in all, Porky's II: The Next Day is stupid.
Portrait in Black (1960)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
Portrait in Black brings back memories of Douglas Sirk's films, most especially
Written on the Wind.
It's because of producer Ross Hunter who put everything together for him in ten pictures such as
Magnificent Obsession,
All That Heaven Allows,
and Imitation of Life. But this time, he went
with a different director by the name of Michael Gordon due to the success of Pillow Talk.
Portrait in Black may seem like a Lana Turner vehicle on paper, but it's Anthony Quinn who steals
the show as the doctor with his forceful demeanor. He directing her character, Sheila Cabot, to do this and that is
impressive, and she's a willing accomplice due to not being able to think anymore. The same goes for the
doctor who lost control of his mental faculties as evidenced toward the end when he desperately
tried to rationalize everything to her stepdaughter.
I know a lot of people have called this one a neo-noir, but I found it heavy in soap opera
with a great deal of costumes, hence the association with Douglas Sirk. Yet I agree that the neo-noir aspect
showed up in a big way during the second half. At first, the cinematography looked cheap, but it got better
over time. However, San Francisco isn't extensively shown like
Vertigo and The Lineup.
The cast is terrific: Lana Turner, Anthony Quinn, Richard Basehart, Sandra Dee, John Saxon, Lloyd Nolan,
Ray Walston, Virginia Grey, and Anna May Wong. They all stand out, but the boy is annoying. I thought for a
while the Chinese maid may have had something to do with it, but nope. There are several red herrings along
the way, and motive can be mistakenly derived.
All in all, Portrait in Black is a well-made movie that was unfairly criticized at the time, and yes,
Lana Turner undoubtedly could act.
The Portrait of a Lady (1996)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/24
12/24:
Full of emptiness, The Portrait of a Lady isn't a film but a book.
Of the "who cares?" kind, the plot hardly advances, going from point A to point A to point A and so on.
When Countess Gemini did the improbable by announcing that Pansy was Gilbert Osmond and Serena
Merle's daughter as a result of their adulterous affair, five miles had been achieved, but I was
past the point of caring and wanted the overlong bore to end already.
I'll say that John Malkovich, who's the chief reason why I went for the movie, stole the show, and that's because
his character was the most developed while others were barely fleshed out. Despite Nicole Kidman's hideous-looking
pubic hair on top of her head, I'm not going to blame her for the problems of The Portrait of a Lady,
but she isn't in the same league with John Malkovich and Barbara Hershey as far as acting ability goes. To achieve
her waist size, Nicole Kidman wore a corset until it was nineteen inches in circumference. What a pointless
practice these silly women had carried on for many centuries.
Two Academy Award nominations went to Barbara Hershey for Best Supporting Actress and Janet Patterson for Best
Costume Design. I agree with the latter but not the former. Like I said, her character was barely fleshed out. In
order to understand how to make a plot work in the Machiavellian sense, director Jane Campion should've watched
Dangerous Liaisons plenty of times. It's not the costumes. It's not the
setting. And it's not the players themselves. It's the script, stupid! It has to be interesting enough, the kind
that advances the plot every ten minutes or so. That's why Christopher Hampton won the Oscar. Hey, Jane...what's
the fucking point of showing these modern women during the opening credits? I thought the feminist movement
ended decades ago.
By the way, if you're wondering what it was that Ralph Touchett was dying of, it's consumption which is another
word for tuberculosis as in somebody "slowly consumed by the disease." You will see that mentioned a lot in
classic literature. It's an Old World contagious disease, having killed more people than anything
else during the 19th century. The cause is Bacillus, a bacteria. When a vaccine was finally developed
to combat the problem, the incidence rate went down big time, especially after the end of WWII. I looked up
the internet to find out if checking into a sanatorium was an effective means, but the answer
remains elusive. Regardless, 80% of those infected had died.
All in all, no matter how impressive the cast or the cinematography looks,
Hollywood cannot successfully convert a book into a film if it will still feel like reading a book.
Portrait of Jennie (1948)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/16
2/16:
I think, at least for David O. Selznick, the purpose of Portrait of Jennie was to show off his
soon-to-be wife Jennifer Jones to the audience as the most beautiful woman in the world.
Other than that, it's not much of a film, a certified box-office flop which was re-released under a different
title resulting in another box-office flop. The people knew better each time.
Reminding me of Vertigo and Rebecca, the
story is silly. It initially holds up well while trying hard to be supernaturally timeless. Then, the film goes
in a downward spiral by repeating the same plot device. Finally, the colorized ending has done it in once and
for all, justifying my rating of '4'.
Joseph Cotten is stiff as usual and doesn't have the goods to take on a romantic leading role. At the time, he
was perhaps a safe choice to curb David O. Selznick's jealousy. Jennifer Jones is Jennifer Jones, but I can't
get over the creepy fact that she pretended to be a child in order to woo a significantly old man. So, it means
Eben Adams was a pedophile to begin with, yes? On the other hand, Jennifer Jones' portraits as Jennie look
ordinary. At least, the movie does a good job when it comes to the definition of a "muse."
All in all, Portrait of Jennie would be better if the direction was slightly tweaked and Joseph Cotten
showed some flexibility.
The Poseidon Adventure (1972)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/04, 7/08
7/08:
The Poseidon Adventure is the famous disaster film that garnered a bazillion of Oscar nominations, winning two.
What an all-star cast, I must say. It has Gene Hackman, Shelley Winters, Red Buttons, Ernest Borgnine, Roddy McDowall,
Jack Albertson, Arthur O'Connell, and Leslie Nielsen. In total, that's five Oscar winners among them.
The best part is the visual effects which won an Oscar for L.B. Abbott and A.D. Flowers. The Poseidon Adventure
was the Titanic of its day before Titanic
came out in 1997. At first, I thought it was among the greatest disaster films made. Now, it's a boring movie, forcing
me to endure the terrible characters with soap opera tendencies.
Shelley Winters is too melodramatic for my taste. When her character finally died, I was glee with joy. It's weird to see
the long moment of silence for her but only two seconds for Acres who helped lead everybody the way to the engine room.
As much as I like Ernest Borgnine, I've wished his character would just die already. He ruins the movie. The
moment that he blamed the preacher for his wife's death made me want to get on the ship and strangle him.
Oh gosh, how much I wanted Nonnie to die. She's so fucking annoying and catatonic. Nonnie, Nonnie, Nonnie...what
a damn retard. Turning in a hammy performance, Eric Shea makes Brandon deWilde look like Marlon Brando of child
actors. Red Buttons has a couple of classy moments, but has there been too much soap opera already?
To save me from this literal disaster of a film, Gene Hackman is the biggest difference maker; he's crucial at times
whether The Poseidon Adventure can hold itself together or fall apart at the seams. Leslie Nielson, who appears
briefly as the captain of the ship, has a memorable cameo.
There are three or four major parts in all, and each of them takes half an hour. The underwater scenes are wonderfully done.
I like the emphasis on the mentality to survive at all costs but not the abrupt ending. I was with the characters every step
of the way, so I felt entitled to a reward. Therefore, the conclusion should be a simple summary of what happened to them
afterwards.
I have a hard time believing the tables and chairs were bolted to the floor after the ship was flipped upside down.
Plus, the SS Poseidon stayed afloat for a long time, but how is that possible? Should it begin to sink once
the rescue guys torched a hole in the hull because of the air escape, thus reducing the ship's buoyancy?
Every time I'm taken away from inside the ship, I see explosions that are happening underwater. I wonder if it's
the same recycled scene. Interestingly, Hollywood says if a person has blue eyes, he has a very good
chance of surviving the disaster.
All in all, after enduring the worst set of characters ever, I should be counted among the survivors of
The Poseidon Adventure.
The Positively True Adventures
of the Alleged Texas
Cheerleader-Murdering Mom (1993)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/13
11/13:
Sheesh...what a long title.
I remember when the news hit the nation back then and it was shocking. Now, it's tame.
Holly Hunter plays her role well, and I like Beau Bridges' performance.
However, the camp is too much for me to take, ruining the overall effect.
All in all, The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom would've been better if
the story was taken more seriously.
Possession (1981)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/15
12/15:
That's the Damien Thorn who was missing the entire time in
Omen III: The Final Conflict.
According to the trivia section of IMDb: "Isabelle Adjani told a French magazine that it took her several years
to get over playing Anna. She also said that she'd never take on a similar role." Anyway, yes...Possession
is among the worst films I've seen in my life. I thought I could handle the pain during the first hour, but
afterwards, it finally got to me.
The movie keeps going nowhere by pouring in senseless grotesque scenes while boring the hell out of me. There's
no story, either. David Cronenberg did it better in his early horror films which were more lucid. In fact, again
from the trivia section: "Reportedly, writer-director Andrzej Zulawski has said that he penned the film's screenplay
during a divorce he was going through at the time." Did he just copy Cronenberg's reason for making
The Brood?
All in all, Possession is a rip-off of The Brood.
The Possession of Joel Delaney (1972)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/09
2/09:
Lacking any scare 'em moments, The Possession of Joel Delaney is a giant snoozefest.
The plot twist is predictable which can be seen coming a mile away. Don't give me the crap that this film came
first before The Exorcist. There have been countless similar stories.
Although the first half is trippy, not much works. The Spanish voodoo thing is the funniest.
I hate Shirley MacLaine. What the hell is she doing by wearing these snobbish outfits? At one point, she's
dressed like Santa Claus' wife! I remember Perry King from
The Lord's of Flatbush, playing a character who couldn't keep it
in his pants for more than ten seconds. Making his motion picture debut here, he's downright terrible.
The controversial scene, which involves a boy stripping himself naked and a girl being forced to eat dog food,
is unnecessary, adding nothing of value to the story. Worse is the ending which defies belief. There's no
reason to kill Joel Delaney; only a simple gunshot in the leg will suffice. Several reviewers have remarked
there's a subtle display of racism in terms of how the Puerto Ricans are portrayed. I must say it's a good point.
All in all, I would rather be possessed than watch The Possession of Joel Delaney again.
Postcards from the Edge (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/06
7/06:
Nope, nope, nope...boring, BORing, BORING!
Postcards from the Edge is a pretentious movie that features two snobbish actresses: Meryl Streep and
Shirley MacLaine. I mean, look at the movie poster. Can this be any more pronounced?
Fine acting doesn't help when the story drags a lot. I don't care about any of the characters. It's a "so what?" movie all
the way through. Oh sure, it's autobiographical. Oh sure, it throws a black eye on Hollywood. Oh sure, it's a chick flick.
What Postcards from the Edge is is a rip-off of Sunset Boulevard.
I can't stand Shirley MacLaine, and I hate her. She's nothing but a whore. Meryl Streep is blah. On the positive side,
Dennis Quaid isn't bad, helping me get through the movie. After a while, it becomes a little better but falls apart
because of the unnecessary singing at the end.
All in all, the death of kiss of any Hollywood picture is pretentiousness, and that's what happened to
Postcards from the Edge.
The Postman (1997)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/04, 11/21
11/21:
Unfairly criticized when it first came out, The Postman holds up well and is an interesting cinema epic, being a lot
closer to Field of Dreams than Mad Max films.
I like the story and the idea of postal service saving the United States post-apocalypse. It makes sense in
theory because communities need to be linked by communication. Now, we've got the internet in place for that. Hence,
Kevin Costner was onto something there. Even Tom Petty shows up to settle the question of who's more famous.
Despite the several movie moments, especially when the hero grabbed an envelope from the boy, The Postman is
overlong, stretching for almost three hours. Hence, the middle needs to be re-edited just like
Waterworld. Although Will Patton does a great job, there's too much familiarity
that's carried over from No Way Out. The simple ending is clever to
avoid a dragged-out battle.
All in all, The Postman is a fine message picture that may or may not happen one day.
The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/13, 12/24
7/13:
The first moment that Lana Turner appeared, John Garfield had to suck in his breath at the sight of her.
It's the most famous movie moment of The Postman Always Rings Twice. She had never been sexier since then.
Unfortunately, the rest of the film is no To Have and Have Not. The lack
of chemistry between the two is disappointing.
Although the downfall should've started with the old man's marriage to Cora Smith, it's more even so when the case
was brought before the judge. Soon then, the plot becomes too absurd to believe. Thereafter, the tragedy seems
about making up for the blunders that defy logic in order to climb out of its own quicksand.
Neither Lana Turner nor John Garfield was nominated for an Oscar although she was more deserving of it. As for
the story, it's too far-fetched and ridiculous most of the time while the sizzler between Lana Turner and
John Garfield is never quite there.
All in all, it's worthwhile to see The Postman Always Rings Twice for Lana Turner who was, once upon a time,
certified eye candy.
12/24:
The most famous movie of Lana Turner's career is The Postman Always Rings Twice.
A lot of people thought she couldn't act, but I don't agree with them. Yes, Lana Turner was good as Cora Smith
and should have been Oscar-nominated, but she got much better afterwards. Up for the task is John Garfield who
never gets blown out of the water. They have decent chemistry but not enough to sizzle the screen like how Kathleen
Turner and William Hurt did in Body Heat. That's because the screenwriters
eliminated all of the sex just to please the Hays Code.
While the first half of the film is standard, it's the second half that throws me off. Who is this lawyer, why
does he show up out of nowhere, and what makes it okay that Cora Smith has to follow all of his directions
without her say-so? Afterwards, things make less sense, and finally, Cora and Frank die in an automobile accident
only because he can't keep his eye on the road for more than thirty seconds.
Anyway, I know The Postman Always Rings Twice is among film noir greats but don't agree with it.
There's very, very little noir in appearance; it's more of a love tragedy. Cora didn't have a lot to do with
the murder of her husband; it was Frank's idea the whole time, and she simply followed along with much uncertainty.
Then again, what's the point of that? All Cora had to do was forget about her husband by running away.
Look at the guy himself; who are we kidding here? He's way too old for her, and she has the looks to become
a model or an actress and make way, way more money than the stupid pit stop in the middle of nowhere in California.
All in all, if you've never seen Lana Turner act before, make The Postman Always Rings Twice
your first choice.
Power (1986)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/23
10/23:
I'm upgrading my rating from '3' to '8' for Power.
Working my way through many Richard Gere movies lately, I'm starting to realize how underrated of an actor he is, having
shown a great deal of range while keeping his drama chops in check. In a way, Richard Gere revives his Julian Kay persona
for Pete St. John who's only interested in making big bucks by delivering results in the political arena.
What's interesting is the emergence of Denzel Washington's shadowy figure, somebody with secret foreign ties who wants
to see a certain person coming through which ultimately didn't work. It's in contrast to
his usual body of work during the 90's and onward. Therefore, a dimension has been retroactively added to Power.
The biggest mistake Sidney Lumet made is being idealistic, that is, when Pete St. John has a change of heart by deciding to
back the candidates he likes the most because of their righteous platform, hence the episodic nature of the second half (by
the way, what happened to Cepeda?). I don't think so because it never happens in the real world. The bottom line is: it's
all about money and power. The director will repeat the same theme in
Night Falls on Manhattan.
All in all, Power is a solid, if unfocused, picture about politics with uniformly good performances, but to follow
what's going on will require strict attention.
The Power of One (1992)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/23
4/23:
It was hard for me to evaluate The Power of One until the final thirty minutes when I started to think
about several masterpieces.
Why Lean on Me, Lawrence of Arabia,
and Braveheart worked as inspiring movies is that they had
larger-than-life characters. It's what sells the story, causing me to ask: "Did it happen for real?"
Unfortunately, Stephen Dorff and other child actors for the role of P.K. don't have it. Dorff is young-looking
here, but he's an awful, bland actor. No matter how much the rest of the cast such as Morgan Freeman,
Armin Mueller-Stahl, John Gielgud, and Alois Moyo keep feeding to the myth of the rainmaker, it never works.
Fay Masterson as Maria Marais is another outlet to parlay the ambitious feeling, but she's not given enough
time to develop her character. When she died, I wasn't moved. The same is said for the boxing match between
P.K. and Duma. In short, everything has been ordinary and unconvincing.
All in all, The Power of One is the film that director John G. Avildsen started to lose his
touch permanently.
Powwow Highway (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/25
7/25:
Anybody who gushed over Smoke Signals and thought it was original
obviously hasn't seen Powwow Highway.
Adam Beach is A Martinez, and Evan Adams is Gary Farmer. The former is practical while the latter is
traditional. Instead of going from Montana to New Mexico, they're in Idaho and take a road trip to Arizona.
On the way, they talk, touch the usual Indian stuff, and get into situations that are similar to
Planes, Trains & Automobiles. After coming terms with what
happened in the past and accomplishing a lot, the two guys realize how special their friendship is.
That's why I'm convinced Sherman Alexie stole the basic structure from David Seals by either reading the 1979
novel Powwow Highway or watching the film and redressed it a great deal for
Smoke Signals to avoid too much of the similarities. Even Gary Farmer
and John Trudell appear in both. I wonder if they felt weird about it. The major difference is that the lead
actors in Powwow Highway were fully mature to take the clichéd Indian topics to another level.
Anyway, Gary Farmer makes the strongest case why
he got robbed of an Oscar nomination for Best Actor. Without him, there's no movie, period, just like John
Candy for Planes, Trains & Automobiles. Unfortunately,
almost nobody saw it in 1989 which resulted in a profit of $283,747 at the box office, but four guys ended
up in Dances With Wolves the following year with significant roles:
Graham Greene, Rodney A. Grant, Wes Studi, and Floyd "Red Crow" Westerman.
All in all, when it comes to the core of American Indian movies, people tend to think of
Dances With Wolves,
The Last of the Mohicans, and
Little Big Man, but a fourth one is missing: Powwow Highway.
A Prayer for the Dying (1987)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/14
7/14:
After a string of three consecutive masterful performances in 9½ Weeks,
Angel Heart, and Barfly,
Mickey Rourke began to slow down in A Prayer for the Dying which is another "who cares?" picture about the IRA.
This time, his hair is curiously dyed orange. Coming off his Oscar nomination for
Mona Lisa, Bob Hoskins is miscast while Liam Neeson has to appear in every film
about Ireland.
Of Get Carter fame, Mike Hodges tries to emulate the success of his British
masterpiece but instead churns out a slow-paced turncoat picture. The gangsters look the part but aren't well-developed.
All in all, apart from the stars, A Prayer for the Dying doesn't have enough juice.
The Preacher's Wife (1996)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/15
3/15:
A low-key black version of It's a Wonderful Life,
The Preacher's Wife is actually a remake of The Bishop's Wife, a film that I hadn't seen before.
Giving a one-dimensional performance while flashing his 100-megawatt smile, Denzel Washington is featured in a
supporting role of an angel while Whitney Houston provides the songs. Her acting is more improved
compared to The Bodyguard. Years later, the diva confessed she was on
drugs throughout the filming. Now, this is where it gets confusing.
As the plot is about saving a church, freeing a falsely accused boy from jail, and reuniting a son with an
orphaned boy, I keep getting the feeling the filmmakers just wanted to bring Denzel Washington and Whitney Houston
together as a couple because they look so good together. So, why not ditch the bullshit that's
The Bishop's Wife by making a romantic movie instead? They could've done six to eight of them like how
it was for Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton.
There are moments related to Julia's marriage that I don't care much for because the preacher is all grumpy and
unappreciative, yet Whitney Houston is one of the most beautiful women in the world? Speaking of saving the
church, why not be creative by making money off her music? She has the voice and looks...DUH!
Taking a gander at the son's room and counting how many toys he has, I feel the family is fine on their own
without the help of an angel. When Dudley gets involved, all he does is perform magic tricks and touch people
to make them change their minds or feel better. What happened to the power of reasoning and negotiating? I'm
100% indifferent whether or not the church is shut down. After all, we've got more than enough in the United
States. So, why not send Dudley to Africa or some third world country to provide food for starving children?
All in all, Hollywood should've made a different movie featuring only Denzel Washington and Whitney Houston.
Predator (1987)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
10/03, 8/04, 7/07, 10/10, 9/20
7/07:
As often as I have seen Predator, it always does a good job of putting me in a nostalgic mood for the old taste of
how action movies used to be.
Far better than most films of the genre, Predator is a hell of a ride. This is about muscles, guns, and blowing
up things. Arnold Schwarzenegger is unforgettable as Major Dutch. So are the others such as Sonny Landham, Jesse "The Body"
Ventura, Carl Weathers, Shane Black, Bill Duke, and Richard Chaves. Ironically, three of them ran for the state governorship,
winning two.
I first saw Predator in 1987 and thought of it a brilliant masterpiece. My sentiment hasn't changed at
all to this day. The following are still classic:
"Get to da choppa!!!"
"You're ghostin' us, motherfucker."
"Get to da choppa!!!"
"I ain't got time to bleed."
"Son of a bitch is dug in like an Alabama tick."
"Get to da choppa!!!"
"There's something out there waiting for us, and it ain't no man."
"If it bleeds, we can kill it."
"Get to da choppa!!!"
"You're one ugly motherfucker."
"Get to da choppa!!!"
The best part is when everybody has a full-on carnage against the jungle with the most firepower ever. It's a brilliant
moment of hilarity. How about the shot of Dillon throwing his arm against Arnold's which shows off the huge pumps of
their biceps? It's a can't-beat testosterone classic.
All in all, Predator is among the best movies ever made.
10/10:
In the vein of And Then There Were None, Predator is one of
the best sci-fi horror pictures of all time.
What I love is the subtle diversion. At first, the plot seems to be a simple rescue mission which quickly
turns out to have sinister undertones, hence the dramatic ending. Although Arnold Schwarzenegger's physique looks
unbelievably amazing, the Predator is something else.
A clever aspect is the use of brains over brawn. Yeah, nearly all characters were loaded with an
insane amount of muscles and testosterone, but they got killed, regardless. Once the surviving characters put the
clues together and understood the kind of enemy they were up against, they came to realize that it had become a grave
situation and that they must save the world from this formidable alien.
All in all, Predator is an unforgettable Schwarzenegger classic.
9/20:
Predator absolutely deserves a '10'.
At first, the film looks like another Commando, but it's been set apart by the sci-fi
horror elements. The editing is first-rate in terms of storytelling. Rules for the Predator are clearly defined over
the course of time. Hence, my intelligence is never insulted at any point.
What's interesting about the cast is how muscle-bounded they were and yet all but one had been
defeated by the Predator. Dutch has the toughest task at the end by using all of his physical energy in order to overcome
the incredible odds. It also helps that he was lucky to survive this long given how randomly his co-members were
killed. He was also able to learn more about his foe's strengths and weaknesses.
So yes, everybody is amazing. They play memorable characters with unforgettable lines. Their
display of muscles and firepower is unbelievable. The scene of them shooting at the jungle and hitting absolutely nothing
but trunks and leaves is priceless.
All in all, Predator and The Terminator are the only two films in Arnold
Schwarzenegger's résumé that rival many Stallone actioners of the 80's.
Predator 2 (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
What?
Predator 2 is Lethal Weapon meets Predator?
I was half-expecting Arnold Schwarzenegger to come out of the bushes and unleash an unmerciful amount of firepower on the
powerful alien. Anyway, this sequel is a joke that's plagued with unbounded stupidity. There are so many examples of it.
First, at the beginning, there's a war on the streets of L.A., but not one police officer has a bulletproof vest on?
Second, Danny Archuleta is a cop who wears snake oil salesman clothes as if he's going to a dance club to impress a
twelve-year-old girl.
Third, why does a secret group of agents risk the lives of million people in order to acquire the special technology that
the Predator is carrying?
Fourth, why does the Predator stay in one particular area when the city is immense enough to roam around? That's how
the Night Stalker did it which caused him to stay elusive.
Fifth, cops wear long-sleeved button shirts with long pants and jackets in the 109-degrees weather. Yeah...okay.
Sixth, why is the Predator atop the subway train in an underground tunnel?
Seventh, how is it possible nobody noticed a gigantic spaceship underneath a building in the middle of the city?
Eighth, why is Danny Glover's character working alone when seeking help will make more sense?
Ninth, why is the sequel like watching Predator again sans the jungle and muscles?
Putting me to sleep more than several times, the action sequences are tiresome, and the ending is no surprise.
Because of the cheesy acting, I kept yearning to rewatch the original.
Harrigan falls into a spaceship from the elevator, killing the Predator, but is confronted by many of his buddies who let
him go thereafter. Then, he runs away as the spaceship emits at least 3,000 degrees of heat to leave Earth which should've
killed everybody within the vicinity. On the other hand, during the subway train scene, Jerry Lambert shoots at the
Predator, but no bullets land on his body. Yet Harrigan is able to pump out many holes out through it. Huh? Am I missing
something here?
All in all, to paraphrase Major Dutch, Predator 2 is a one ugly moron.
Prefontaine (1997)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/03, 1/08, 11/21
1/08:
The only good part about Prefontaine is the archive footage of the real Steve Prefontaine, but the rest is junk.
Prefontaine grossed approximately $600,000 against a budget of $8 million while
Without Limits scored about $800,000 versus $25 million. Hence, the verdict is
in: nobody cares about Steve Prefontaine. I have a better idea: why not turn Prefontaine into a documentary
that's replete with archive footage and interviews? It should be right up Steve James' alley given what he did with
Hoop Dreams.
But no...he decides to go the hard way by creating a mediocre film about a legendary runner and failing to make it
stand out in front of Without Limits. However, these two are different, leading to
my confusion of which told the more accurate story. Anyway, I have to give the edge to Billy Crudup over Jared Leto and
Donald Sutherland over R. Lee Ermey for giving better performances of Steve Prefontaine and Bill Bowerman, respectively.
All in all, it's nice to know there exist Prefontaine and Without Limits,
but neither provides a satisfying experience if I want to know who Steve Prefontaine really was.
11/21:
I've now decided Prefontaine is better than Without Limits when I initially
thought it's the other way around.
Both do an okay job of explaining who Steve Prefontaine was. I also read the book by Tom Jordan, but it wasn't
significantly better. The problem remains: they never get to the core of the famous yet obscure long-distance runner.
When I mean the word "obscure," Prefontaine tanked during its theatrical run, taking in a bit more than half a
million dollars against an $8 million budget.
At least, the movie does well by going through the main points of Steve Prefontaine's life but embellishes a few incidents
such as how he hurt his foot prior to the NCAA championships. Comparing Jared Leto to Billy Crudup, the former gives a
performance while the latter is closer to the guy himself as far as looks go with a smoother running form.
Sadly, Prefontaine makes a good case of somebody not learning a lesson from the story despite appearing in the film.
Amy Locane, who plays Prefontaine's girlfriend, was sent to prison for a fatal DUI accident in 2010. Her BAC was 0.23
percent. After that, she got divorced and lost custody of her two daughters. Currently, she's serving time and will be
out in 2024.
All in all, if you've never heard of Steve Prefontaine, Prefontaine is a good start.
The Presidio (1988)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/18
6/18:
I cringe every time Sean Connery's character talks of soldiers winning medals.
No...no...no....medals aren't won but rather earned. Imagine a soldier yelling to his buddies, "Hey, guys, I
just won the Medal of Honor!" That sounds bad, doesn't it? By the way, all soldiers, regardless of their rank,
aren't required to salute Medal of Honor recipients as erroneously stated in the IMDb trivia section. It's
only encouraged as a gesture of respect, that's all.
Okay, back to The Presidio. What we have here is a derivative film with a throwaway story which is
equivalent to saying, "Nothing new to see here. Move along, folks." Even worse, it's not a crime thriller but
a movie about a father-daughter relationship that's more along the lines of
On Golden Pond.
Mark Harmon, who replaced Don Johnson at the last minute because of Miami Vice obligations, and Sean
Connery are okay. Meg Ryan does her Meg Ryan thing, and as always, her act begins to wear thin after a few minutes.
The Presidio at San Francisco used to be an army base which is situated right in front of the Golden Gate Bridge.
It closed down during the mid 90's, having been the longest continuously operated military installation in the
United States since 1776, and is now a national park.
All in all, if there's a Lifetime channel for men, The Presidio will be a perfect fit.
Presumed Innocent (1990)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
4/14
4/14:
Presumed Innocent is an excellent courtroom drama picture if suspension of disbelief can be applied from start
to finish.
Yes, the premise is hard to swallow, but as long as everything else reigns supreme, the lack of veracity can be safely
ignored. I must say that I never saw the twist coming at the end, and it's unpredictable.
This is one of the great Harrison Ford performances although it's rare for him to give less than his best. He has
shown the ability to do serious films outside of the action-adventure genre. Raul Julia is masterful as the
defending lawyer. It's nice to see Brian Dennehy at his usual SOB self while Bonnie Bedelia is a darling.
All in all, Presumed Innocent is highly recommended.
Pretty Baby (1978)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
8/13
8/13:
First and foremost, the adjective "controversial" is plain and clear when Pretty Baby is viewed.
However, you should set the feeling aside by thinking of it as a period piece that's right out of New Orleans. Honestly,
Pretty Baby isn't bad. Unfortunately, it doesn't have much significant to say. Hookers come and go,
and Johns come and go. One guy falls in love with a pre-teen girl and marries her. There's nothing enlightening about it.
All in all, Pretty Baby is a solid Louis Malle picture.
Pretty in Pink (1986)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/06
1/06:
How hopelessly corny and outdated Pretty in Pink is.
Andrew McCarthy...ugh. Jon Cryer...double ugh. Molly Ringwald...triple ugh. Far too talented to be associated with the Brat
Pack, James Spader is an anomaly here. When I saw the movie back then, I had him pegged as the only one with true acting
chops. Eventually, I was proved correct.
I'm still amazed to this day that Molly Ringwald was once popular during the 80's. What did anyone see in her? By the
way, did you catch a glimpse of her ugly freckled-covered legs during gym class? Eek!
Moving on to Jon Cryer, boy...does he suck or what? Is it possible for him not to be corny or blatantly gay for a second?
Okay, next...Andrew McCarthy. The poor sap has to smile every time he says a line. Andrew should be so proud of himself
that he ought to get a trophy for it. Besides, what's with his hair during prom night?
I hate the ending because I was expecting the girl to be with Duckie, not the rich snob. John Hughes reportedly didn't like
it and therefore remade the film with the ending he wanted the whole time. The result is
Some Kind of Wonderful.
All in all, James Spader is the only good thing out of Pretty in Pink.
Pretty Woman (1990)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/03, 5/19
5/19:
It's apropos that Charade was shown during Pretty Woman because both
are classy films.
Reviving the now-lost art of Cary Grant-Audrey Hepburn romance, Richard Gere and Julia Roberts are an electric
pair. There are great movie moments, and the best is when he spontaneously closed the necklace case on her
hand. It happened for real, and Julie Roberts was caught off guard by it.
Not having seen Pretty Woman in many years, I've forgotten how good it is. The 22-year-old Julia Roberts
has done a magnificent job, earning herself an Oscar nomination.
To the table, Richard Gere brings his smooth, suave persona that had been cultivated through
American Gigolo and is thus fun to watch. On board is his
co-star from the same film, Hector Elizondo, who gives a special performance in a short amount of time. Ditto
for Laura San Giacomo of Sex, Lies, and Videotape fame. By the way,
Pretty Woman is Ralph Bellamy's final film before passing away two years later.
All in all, Pretty Woman is an all-time great romance classic.
Prick Up Your Ears (1987)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
9/17
9/17:
This may be the first time ever that I can say Gary Oldman can act for once after dropping the pretentiousness
to play his role straight.
By far, the best performance of Prick Up Your Ears, a gay movie about two aspiring real-life writers,
goes to Alfred Molina who's so funny that he doesn't have to try to. According to Wikipedia, the murder did
happen in 1967 when Kenneth Halliwell "bludgeoned 34-year-old Joe Orton to death at their home in Islington,
London, with nine hammer blows to the head, and then killed himself with an overdose of Nembutal."
Unfortunately, it doesn't rise enough to be a good biopic, choosing to go in a circular manner until the murder.
In other words, it runs on quirks to be a strange black comedy with a weird ending. There's a lack of substance as
well. If I think about the title, it means "stick it up in the arse." By the way, John Lahr, who wrote the
biography of Joe Orton, is the son of Bert Lahr who played the Cowardly Lion in
The Wizard of Oz.
All in all, Prick Up Your Ears isn't deep as I've hoped for, but the performances are well-done.
The Pride of the Yankees (1942)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
4/14
4/14:
The Pride of the Yankees is a long, uneven, and dull picture about the famous New York Yankee player named Lou
Gehrig who was struck down by the fatal eponymous disease.
There are scenes that are either interminable or repetitive, causing an interminable drag in the pace. Sometimes, they
can be too much. One particular scene when Lou Gehrig, as a kid, hit a home run is hysterical because the ball didn't come
from his bat but all the way from the left. In other words, it's fair to assume the kid couldn't hit anything worth squat.
Babe Ruth looks like a total boob and is somewhat of a caricature. He probably was in real life. Believe it or not, Babe
Ruth was a sex addict who talked about his penis constantly. It may have killed him as he probably had HPV, not cancer
as originally thought. Lou Gehrig's wife once had an affair with Babe Ruth, and they never spoke again for five years
until Gehrig's Yankee Stadium retirement speech in 1939. Another thing that Lou Gehrig and Babe Ruth had in common is they
were both struck out by a female pitcher by the name of Jackie Mitchell in the same inning. Meanwhile, Gary Cooper and
Teresa Wright are good and do everything as they can.
All in all, The Pride of the Yankees isn't great.
Primal Fear (1996)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/05, 8/20
5/05:
Primal Fear is the beginning of Edward Norton's overratedness, and the good thing is he fell off the map in
five years' time because he's so fake, fake, fake.
Occasionally saddled with bad editing, the plot is unbelievable, spinning a huge yarn with many weak threads only to
arrive at the lame ending that rivals The Usual Suspects. To make matters
worse, there's no such thing as dissociative identity (aka multiple personality) disorder. Instead, comorbid disorders
are identified. If none can be found, then Aaron Stampler has to be making it up.
Nobody looks like a lawyer, a cop, a judge, a reporter, or a criminal. Richard Gere...gee whiz. Let's
call his performance "Bad Acting 101." Ditto for Laura Linney. Must her character need a drag every time I see her?
All in all, Primal Fear is at once unconvincing and unlikely.
8/20:
Long, boring, and ridiculous, Primal Fear desperately wants me to believe in things that aren't really there.
I recently watched three full seasons of Law & Order and thought of it the standard in legal drama. Hence, it's
safe to say what I saw in Primal Fear pales in comparison. Ben Stone can defeat Martin Vail in trial and
tap dance around his head in a battle of wits.
Richard Gere embarrasses himself by putting on cute-boy looks as an attempt to smarm his way around the unattractive,
nicotine-addicted prosecutor. This isn't Pretty Woman; there's a serious case afoot,
and his actions border on unethical. His character also makes a mockery of the black female judge's courtroom with silly
tactics and many stabs at hypothetical situations. At one point, he grabs the mike and tells Stampler to stop being a
pussy; incredibly, nobody saw it. Uh, witness intimidation, anyone?
The most unbelievable performance is given by Edward Norton although others like Laura Linney (who has an awful soundbite
when Stampler is on the stand), Frances McDormand, Andre Braugher, John Mahoney, Alfre Woodard, and Maura Tierney are bad
as well. How Edward Norton was nominated for an Oscar is beyond me. He did fool a lot of voters. Many actors
gave better, more credible performances in Law & Order. Of course, Aaron Stampler did it; I knew that for two
hours, and my time had been wasted after all when the fact was confirmed. And no, he isn't getting out in a month.
Not much is correctly done during the trial. It would help if either side had character witnesses to describe Stampler's
upbringing in Kentucky or his time at the church to shed light on who he was. The other is that Vail wanted a complete
psych evaluation before pleading to the charges brought before Stampler yet it's still ongoing during the trial. That's
not how it works. There isn't a lot of coverage in terms of forensic details pertaining to the crime scene.
All in all, any Law & Order episode will do compared to this junk called Primal Fear.
Primary Colors (1998)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/05, 1/18, 3/22
6/05:
Well, this is an interesting acting challenge for John Travolta as he plays Bill Clinton with JFK tendencies in
Primary Colors.
I must say he pulled off the role very well. The film has good yet predictable twists but feels made-for-TV. There's not
much of insight when it comes to the governor's actual work. It's been mostly about campaigning.
Apart from John Travolta, Adrian Lester steals the show. He does an outstanding job and looks like the next
Denzel Washington. Emma Thompson is also a surprise in her Hillary Clinton-like role.
All in all, if you want to know what Bill Clinton is like, look no further than Primary Colors.
1/18:
While not as powerful as The Candidate, Primary Colors is a fascinating
roman à clef about Bill Clinton's ascent to the presidency.
How much of the story is true is probably a great deal. Even John Travolta gained thirty pounds and had his hair dyed white
in order to keep up with the uncanny resemblance. According to IMDb: "Then-President Bill Clinton enjoyed the film so much
that he even invited John Travolta to a party, on one condition, he must come as Governor Jack Stanton. Travolta declined."
Although Primary Colors is a long movie, it's packed with lots of substance. The strong cast keeps this watchable
from start to finish. Larry Hagman is masterful as the late-comer candidate who finally lets his hair down at the end.
All in all, Primary Colors is The Candidate of the 90's.
3/22:
If you want to get into the essence of what Bill Clinton was all about during his heyday, then look no further than
Primary Colors.
It's a fantastic performance by John Travolta. He knows how to charm people. Then again, that's how Bill Clinton was
elected. Emma Thompson is Hilary Clinton while Adrian Lester is George Stephanopoulos and Billy Bob Thornton is James
Carville. Cashmere McLeod is Gennifer Flowers who was the beginning of the end of the Clintons' façade. Larry Hagman is,
of course, masterful while Kathy Bates nets an Oscar nomination because of one particular scene.
I remember when the book Primary Colors: A Novel of Politics came out in 1996 and nobody knew who wrote it. The
author was named "Anonymous." There was a big discussion in Newsweek of who it might be. Joe Klein was heavily
suspected, and he eventually came out of the closet to confirm the rumors.
All in all, Primary Colors is close to the truth.
Prime Cut (1972)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/21
4/21:
One year after the British theatrically released Get Carter, America's
answer to it was Prime Cut.
Instead of Michael Caine going to Newcastle, it's tough guy Lee Marvin who takes on tough guy Gene Hackman
in the underworld of narcotics and prostitution that's behind the façade of a giant meat company. Amidst this,
there's a lot of weird stuff happening like the guy named Mary Ann, the beef-laden dialogue, the drugged-up
girls who are auctioned off like cattle, and the army of blue-eyed, blond-haired Kansas boys in overalls with
long rifles.
Although the editing is terrific especially during one scene with a combine harvester, Prime Cut is a
sometimes slow-paced picture that's short in running length. I hate the ending because Mary Ann should've been
killed. Otherwise, he'll be back bigger and badder than ever. But this is Lee Marvin's show and he's excellent.
Elsewhere, Sissy Spacek makes her screen debut to be part of the three Oscar winners in one picture, and she's
mostly fine. Much respect goes to Lee Marvin because director Michael Ritchie wanted him to do love scenes
with her, but he objected to it because she was too young for him by 25 years.
As for Weenie, he, after seeing what happened to Mary Ann, became enraged and went after
Nick. Then, he just died. I'll lay down a $100 bet by guessing what happened: it was a heart attack
from eating meat literally all day most of his life.
All in all, thanks to Prime Cut, I now know what the slaughter process is like for cows.
Prince of Darkness (1987)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
11/03, 4/07, 9/12
4/07:
At the hands of the famous Martin Quatermass, Prince of Darkness is a horror masterpiece that's often scary than not.
The story is so good that it feels possible. I love the high level of intelligence that's supplied by the
characters who are students in the physics graduate program run by a professor with an interest in the paranormal.
What makes John Carpenter's films special is how he sets up the atmosphere before letting the plot unfold. As a result,
the tension climbs while I'm allowed to be part of the show by feeling for the characters and what they're experiencing.
The acting is across-the-board excellent although I'm annoyed by one Asian male's penchant for lame jokes. Donald
Pleasence is effective by showing off his Loomis personality.
All in all, Prince of Darkness is among the best John Carpenter films.
9/12:
John Carpenter was one of the best horror directors during the 80's, and Prince of Darkness is why.
Why I love it is the intelligence. It's rare to see a film that features smart characters who will analyze a problem through
scientific methods before deciding on the best course of action. There are scary moments. Even it's my fourth or fifth viewing,
their effect hasn't subsided. The best is when the host almost brought out Prince of Darkness through the mirror
as if it's a portal.
All in all, Prince of Darkness is a John Carpenter classic.
Prince of the City (1981)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
3/12
3/12:
Treat Williams was robbed of an Oscar nomination for his tour de force performance in Prince of the City.
I won't go so far as to call it the best picture Sidney Lumet had ever directed; the distinction goes to
Network. It's an improved, complex version of Serpico
about police corruption.
The running length of almost three hours didn't bother me because I was mesmerized by Treat Williams who went apeshit every
second, making the show work. It's too bad his career fizzled out due to cocaine problem.
All in all, Prince of the City is dominated by Treat Williams.
Prince Valiant (1954)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/14
2/14:
Since I'm familiar with the history of the Dark Ages, it's hard to sit through Prince Valiant due to
numerous inaccuracies.
The most salient is the Vikings sporting horned helmets which is a myth because they never wore them.
I don't know why I must care about the English royalty considering the fact that they left the vassals starving
while partaking of mighty feasts on a daily basis.
The knights weren't that honorable and chivalrous back then as they maimed, murdered, raped, and pillaged people
to stay alive. Even they took part in the Crusade Wars to wipe out the Moslems just to take back the land under
the name of Christianity. Ditto for waging a battle against the Vikings who were thought of as infidels.
Setting aside the facts, Prince Valiant is a snoozefest. Sure, it's a pretty picture with nice costumes.
The story needs work, and the ennui starts to sink in as soon as Valiant is kidnapped. After that, it goes
through the motions with a laughably bad epic battle between Brack and Prince Valiant and an obvious twist that
can be seen coming from the beginning.
Meanwhile, the "paddle board" that Valiant was rowing on? I don't think so. He'll be tired of standing after five
minutes of work. Also, there's no way he'll be able to balance it given the design. There must have been somebody
underneath it.
All in all, Prince Valiant, like the Dark Ages, is full of silly stuff.
The Princess Bride (1987)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/03, 7/17
7/17:
The Princess Bride is a highly memorable fantasy picture that's far better than
The Wizard of Oz.
What I love is the storytelling format: the voice-over narration, the fantasy story, and the occasional interruptions by the
grandson. They all make the movie special. In fact, it's the best demonstration of reading books.
The most famous player of the cast is André René Roussimoff, otherwise known as André the Giant. He was a unique figure,
and I saw him wrestle a lot during the 80's. Believe it or not, Arnold Schwarzenegger is actually small compared to him.
Wallace Shawn will forever be remembered for yelling "Inconceivable!" I like when Inigo Montoya criticized him, "You
keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
What a job the makeup team has done for Billy Crystal, Carol Kane, Mel Smith, and Christopher Guest who sort of
looks like Guy of Gisborne from The Adventures of Robin Hood. I almost
can't recognize them all. Hence, it's a joke that nobody earned an Oscar nomination for it.
The Princess Bride started out as a novel by William Goldman, the double Oscar winner for the screenplays of
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and
All the President's Men. He made it up as an oral story for his
daughters and then wrote it down for posterity which was done in 1973, but the screenplay had been rejected for years.
It was going to be Robert Redford's first film as a director while he played Westley on screen. All of this is shocking
because it's a terrific story with charming, witty lines.
Again, it's hard to get over how good the cast is: the Errol Flynn-like Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Wallace Shawn, Mandy
Patinkin, André the Giant, Chris Sarandon, Peter Cook, Mel Smith, Billy Crystal, and Peter Falk, among others. However,
the film can drag at times. Letting Prince Humperdinck go to become a loose thread at the end is a mistake as well.
According to IMDb, "When Count Rugen hits Westley over the head, Cary Elwes told Christopher Guest to go ahead and hit him
for real. Guest hit him hard enough to shut down production for a day while Elwes went to the hospital." Count how many
fingers in total Christopher Guest has while playing Rugen. That's right...these go to 11!
All in all, The Princess Bride is terrific filmmaking.
The Principal (1987)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/05
8/05:
The Principal is one of the sorriest films made.
Filled with useless scenes and hokey dialogue, the plot is improbable. The principal should've died on the
first day of his new job after pulling off the illegal stunts.
Additionally, his behavior is so inappropriate that it's grounds enough for termination. One reviewer remarked
all of the characters were underdeveloped which is true.
All in all, skip The Principal in favor of Lean on Me.
The Private Life of Henry VIII (1933)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/17
2/17:
I wanted to see The Private Life of Henry VIII for one reason: Charles Laughton.
He didn't disappoint me one bit. It may be the finest performance of his career. He's perfect and convincing
as Henry VIII. As a reward, Charles Laughton was given the Oscar for Best Actor, the only one of his career.
The most well-known figure in England history, Henry VIII was notorious for having six wives and had two of them
beheaded because one failed to produce a male issue and the other cheated on him.
The trouble is it's an inaccurate farcical movie that's slow in parts while telling an incomplete story of the
king's life. Also, the ending isn't well-conceived. Not much of thought went to it, and the final line "Six
wives, and the best of them's the worst" is silly. Regardless, it catapulted Alexander Korda and Charles
Laughton, as well as Robert Donat, Elsa Lanchester, and Merle Oberson, to greater heights of stardom.
All in all, The Private Life of Henry VIII is Charles Laughton's show all the way through.
The Private Life of
Sherlock Holmes (1970)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/13
4/13:
Add The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes to the long disappointing list of failed Sherlock Holmes pictures.
What shocks me the most is Billy Wilder wrote the screenplay and directed it. I expected more from him and thought he would
do the characters justice after reading the original stories written by Arthur Conan Doyle. But no...the sight of one mere
buffoonery by "Dr." Watson ruins it all. Moreover, I hate the character sketch of Mycroft Holmes. It won't ever happen.
Mycroft was corpulent, and he trusted his brother in all matters.
Also, there's no way in hell Sherlock Holmes is hoodwinked like that. In fact, the real Holmes would've
figured it out within a day through the usual routine by checking with his sources via underground channels and
producing photographs of the couple for verification. But here, he never bothers using any of the Holmesian techniques and
just strolls along, making observations from a distance. That's when I knew the film died.
The way Watson treated Sherlock Holmes is both appalling and unacceptable. Not once it ever happened in Arthur Conan
Doyle's stories. And if it did, Holmes would've never stood for it. He always had a commanding presence in every situation
and was respected all the time, even if one or two initially refused to believe in his methods. Hence, the fake Watson
needs to shut the hell up or be thrown into the Thames River.
The mystery as presented isn't worthy of Sherlock's time. He would've stayed home while sending off Watson on a
fact-checking trip. By the time he's back to tell what Holmes needed to know, the case will be solved in mere
seconds. You see, he thought it all out in his head the whole time. No, he's only interested in the hardest and
most exotic cases. On the other hand, Robert Stephens has done a great job, and it's a fine portrayal of the famous detective.
All in all, The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes is a disappointment coming from Billy Wilder.
Prizzi's Honor (1985)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Prizzi's Honor has a great story with a neo-noir feel, fantastic camera work, and plenty of subtleties.
Unfortunately, Kathleen Turner's character is underdeveloped while Angelica Huston's Oscar win isn't deserving. Hence,
Jack Nicholson is the one who made the film work.
All in all, Prizzi's Honor is worth watching, but the supporting cast needs to pull its own weight to meet
Jack Nicholson.
The Professional (1994)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/04, 7/17
7/17:
Do you want to know how to spot an IMDb fanboy?
Just ask him what he thinks of The Professional. If he tells you it's one of the best movies ever, that's your answer.
When The Professional came out domestically in 1994, nobody thought much of it as evidenced by the box-office returns.
I didn't and therefore forgot about the film for many years until seeing it listed on IMDb's 250 Best Films.
In fact, the film should be treated as an IQ test. If somebody liked it, his IQ is thus somewhere in the retarded range.
Who the fuck stages a gigantic shootout inside the apartment in the middle of New York City? Everybody will go deaf
as a post with cops swarming all there. And who the fuck uses a grenade launcher when a tear gas bomb will do?
What is the point of the film? Is it the violence? The editing? That Léon looks cool with sunglasses on? Or just plain
old-fashioned pedophilia? Jean Reno will always be famous for playing Léon the dumbfuck pedophile...er
professional assassin. He'll never escape it. To be honest with you, it's a good acting performance from him whose character
is actually a spin-off from La Femme Nikita, a dumb French comic-book movie by
the same director Luc Besson.
Because Léon dies at the end, questions of pedophilia are effectively ended. But let's be real: it's been a dominant theme
throughout the film, but Luc Besson chose not to go further at the risk of damaging his product. Remember this...pedophilia
isn't cool and will never be. Now, I wonder what percent of the IMDb fanboys are into child porn and hentai.
Making her screen debut, Natalie Portman is okay but manipulative. In other words, she's another brat. Gary Oldman is
somewhat better than what I'm accustomed to. Yet he's the same fake actor who plays a ridiculous character. At one point,
Gary Oldman yelled, "Bring me everyone!" I just wanted to scream back at him, "Shut the fuck up, Gary!" By the way,
drinking lots of milk can be bad for one's health, leading to premature death. Then again, Léon is borderline mentally
retarded which makes it moot.
All in all, The Professional is overrated.
The Professionals (1966)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/14
12/14:
Although predated by several years, The Wild Bunch is everything that
The Professionals is not.
Burt Lancaster tries hard to make the styleless film special. Lee Marvin is at bottom form as he was
drunk during the production. The tiresome veteran actor Robert Ryan is miscast and therefore doesn't belong.
Woody Strode hardly does anything but flexes his muscles and shoots arrows. Claudia Cardinale stinks it up whenever she
opens her mouth on top of her atrocious acting. Jack Palance does what Charles Bronson did all the time, so what's new?
The ending isn't done well because it fails to get the point across. In
The Wild Bunch, it's the adage: "Honor among thieves." When Dolworth's advice is
routinely ignored by Fardan despite his lifetime of experience dealing with such matters, they both lose credibility. The
characters in other film knew what they were doing and could sense the imminent danger by intuition.
Some scenes come off as corny. A good example is when Burt Lancaster held the dying large-breasted Mexican in his arms
despite her adding nothing to the story. She's merely used for sex appeal. Meanwhile, it's not possible for the horses
ridden by Mexicans to trot quickly for a long time without collapsing to the ground. If there's anything positive to
say, the pace is better than any of Sergio Leone's so-called Spaghetti Westerns.
All in all, The Wild Bunch is legendary while The Professionals is a joke.
Professione: reporter (1975)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/07
7/07:
There you have it: another damn slow film by Michelangelo Antonioni that takes place in the desert.
What the hell is Professione: reporter (The Passenger) supposed to be about? I have no clue. There's no
story, and the movie goes nowhere. The pace has made me drowsy. Forget Jack Nicholson. He can't save the picture,
either. Michelangelo Antonioni may have been mentally retarded for all I know.
All in all, everybody was on drugs when they heaped tons of praise on Professione: reporter.
The Program (1993)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/03, 5/05, 1/07, 6/20
5/05:
So this is what it must be like at Florida State University.
The Program is by far the most inspiring college football picture ever made. I can see why actual players watched it to
get ready for a game. Everybody is memorable: Omar Epps as Darnell Jefferson, Andrew Bryniarski as Lats, Craig Sheffer as
Joe Kane, Duane Davis as Alvin Mack, and James Caan as Coach Winters, among others.
The football scenes are the best. They're realistic and well-staged. Watch any of them, and you'll feel pumped to play some
football. Many incidents as shown have happened in real life, especially the corruption. What I love is how it ends as the
coaches get ready for another season as if it's a cycle to them: wash, rinse, and repeat until they jump ship or are fired.
All in all, The Program is the best college football picture made.
1/07:
My favorite scene of The Program is when Lats described the exhilaration of playing college football:
"I don't know. It's the battle. The goin' to war with the other guys. Hangin' together. Havin' our own dorm. Stayin' in
hotels the night before the games. Settin' ourselves apart. Bein' different than everybody else. Havin' a chance to be
somebody. To do somethin' that people look up to you for. Your strength. Your courage. Not everybody can play football.
We're the lucky ones."
Yeah...at the expense of taxpayers and students' money, but it's well-said, Lats. The bottom line is: either they're with
the program or they're not. Hence, the movie isn't far from the truth about the corruption of big-time college
football world. The more the scandals come to light, the more real The Program is.
Of the threads, I like Lats' the best with Alvin Mack's coming in a close second. When I see Lats, all I can think of is:
"Don't you know you have many years left in your life?" For Alvin, after suffering a career-ending injury, the only
pertinent question to ask him is: "So...what are you going to do the rest of your life?"
I can't help but wonder what happened to many players afterwards who breezed through college while
failing to take advantage of the opportunities in education as they spent all of their hours in football, sex, and booze.
Those who make to the NFL are few and far between, and once in, the chances of lasting long enough are slim to none.
In many ways, The Program is admirable for showing the seedy side of how a big-time college
football program works: the school's true priorities, the pressure from above, the win-at-all-costs mentality,
the cheating in academics, and the futility of an university education.
One interesting aspect that I noticed is I never saw fans who only stayed in the background. In other words, they're the
biggest losers for giving away millions of dollars so they can feel special if their team win a championship that will be
totally forgotten in a year...a month...a week...a day.
All in all, there's nothing like The Program.
6/20:
Wait a minute...did the two guys actually spit into each other's mouth?
Say what you want, but The Program is what big-time college football world looks like except it doesn't
test for steroids because most players are juiced anyway which has been going on since the 70's. That being said, it's
the best college football picture made although Necessary Roughness can
sometimes give it a run for the money.
Great cast and great performances. James Caan is perfect as the coach. Of course, he's going to look the
other way because his job is on the line and it's all about winning. Just about every college football coach in existence
the last four decades is like him. To rake in the big bucks is to stay relevant, and in order to do that is to keep winning.
Another thing I like is the balance between football and drama. The subplots are interesting to follow, and director
David S. Ward does a nice job of making each to matter. Hence, the game itself feels secondary and winning isn't important,
but the football scenes are quite good.
Be sure to search for the deleted scene on YouTube which features Joe Kane lying down on the lane divider
as cars and trucks go speeding past him. Some people did it for real and ended up injured or dead. I'll
have to say it's a perfect description of who Joe Kane is.
All in all, you can't go wrong with The Program when it comes to the taste of big-time college football.
Prom Night (1980)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/19
12/19:
Wow, Prom Night is a bad, cheap horror movie that's guilty of overstylization which sometimes mimics
Black Christmas and
Friday the 13th.
It has a good starting point (I Know What You Did Last Summer,
anyone?) that's a cross between Carrie and
Halloween with a bit of
Saturday Night Fever thrown in because of the prom theme and
Jamie Lee Curtis. Yet nothing happens for an hour. By the time it does, the movie is almost over.
Yeah, there are several red herrings along the way, but I had been dying to know who the killer was. Once his
identity is revealed, the film immediately becomes junk. If I think about it, why would the boy withhold his
secret for so long?
In hindsight, the subplot in regard to the loony guy escaping from the mental hospital is a waste of time. The movie
should've been twenty to thirty minutes shorter with a faster pace and more action. Adding Slick to an already
crowded set of characters is a bad idea as he comes out of nowhere.
The death scenes are crap. I would've been fine if it had logic because of what happened at the beginning. But
the killer decided to off two more people who had nothing to do with it although I could understand the need to
murder one of them. A horror movie must have either a strong plot or lots of creative kills, but when there's none
to be had for Prom Night, it dies.
A serious problem emerges during the second half when I forgot about the first ten minutes in terms of why the
movie was made in the first place. The four characters who had the girl killed have been reduced to "who cares?" I
can't remember anymore when it comes to which young female adult goes to which girl, having lost track of them
over time.
All in all, Prom Night is a poor excuse for cashing in the slasher film craze during the early 80's.
Prom Night III: The Last Kiss (1990)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/19
12/19:
At least, Prom Night III: The Last Kiss tries to be fresh for a change.
I have to say that I like this one the most of the Prom Night franchise as
it's 100% dissimilar. Playing Alex Gray, Tim Conlon isn't a bad actor and does what he can do to show the
80's isn't yet dead. It's amusing to see him dig six-foot(?) holes on the football field and leave there with
pristine-looking clothes.
Courtney Taylor is a Tiffani-Amber Thiessen look-alike. Her character and Valerie Malone of
Beverly Hills, 90210 share one thing in common: they sure sleep around a lot. Were these two like that
in real life? Oddly, the film shows no nudity. The internet informs me there's a VHS copy that's unedited, but
I'm too unmotivated to want to check it out.
Here's a fun fact: Prom Night III: The Last Kiss was financially backed by Live Entertainment whose head
honcho was the father of Lyle and Erik Menéndez. Prior to the commencement of filming, the writer-director ate
dinner with the family. Afterwards, it had to be delayed for two weeks because the Menéndez parents were
found murdered over the weekend, specifically on Sunday, August 20, 1989.
All in all, although better than the last two parts, Prom Night III: The Last Kiss doesn't have enough
to rise above the mediocrity.
Prom Night IV:
Deliver Us from Evil (1991)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/20
1/20:
I take back what I said about the last part as Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil is now the most
dissimilar.
Also, it's the best movie of the franchise, reminding me of Ken Russell's Gothic
minus the drugs. The key rule is: when the formula doesn't work, get rid of it and try something new. That's
exactly what the filmmakers did here.
Most of the success should be attributed to the four thespians for enlivening things and keeping the tension taut
for a good while: Nicole de Boer, J.H. Wyman, Joy Tanner, and Alle Ghadban. When three of their characters
were killed, I didn't think they deserved it since they seemed to be decent, good-looking people.
What ruins the show is the villain. I mean, who the hell is he? All the priest does is murder fornicators. When he
gets going in the last fifteen minutes, the banality of B horror movies starts to sink in. The buildup during
the first half-hour isn't interesting, either.
All in all, had the killer been iconic or at least distinctive, Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil
might have scored more points.
Promise (1986)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
Because of the exemplary performances put on by James Woods and James Garner, Promise is the most-honored
movie in television history.
James Woods has a beautiful moment that describes what it's like to be a schizophrenic. The zenith of his
character's disability occurs when he's vacationing at the cabin. It's his most manic episode: moving at 100 miles
per hour with no regard for realities of life only to crash down after being atop the make-believe castle.
To be D.J.'s caretaker can't be easy which explains Bob's frustration. I wonder why he
didn't ask the old lady for instructions in terms of how to take care of him given her extensive experience. Maybe
he didn't realize it would be that bad. Then again, she must have felt relieved for being unloaded
of the burden.
Of course, it'll be easy to go against Bob for his selfishness and inability to grow up, but James Garner has
so much star power that it's hard to dislike him. Piper Laurie is a ray of sunlight: always positive and
nonjudgmental. Things work out in the end, but let's face it: D.J. belongs in the nursing home. He's too much to
handle for one person, medicine or not.
All in all, if Promise was theatrically released, James Woods would've won the Oscar for Best
Supporting Actor.
Proof (2005)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/08
5/08:
What a boring film Proof is.
There's no story. Nothing new is revealed except for the mathematician who turns out to be insane. That's old news and
thus stereotypical because most aren't like that.
The performances are okay. One thing is for sure: Gwyneth Paltrow can't act. Jake Gyllenhaal seems out of place although he
did see some differential equations in October Sky. On the other hand, I hate the dialogue and the fact that the
words "mathematician" and "mathematics" are mentioned many times. Given Proof is a movie about math,
extraordinarily little of it is shown.
The guy kept saying he had the proof in his hand, and I wanted to see it yet was denied. Come on! What's the point
of making the movie in the first place? That's why I would rather do proofs than watch this bullshit. A similar argument
can be made for the laymen that it's a better to drink a 100 proof alcoholic beverage to save themselves the trouble.
By the way, Ramanujan was the Indian mathematician who said, after seeing it on a taxi cab, 1729 was special because
it was the least number that equaled to the sum of the cubes of two distinct integers in a couple of ways. When I saw
Anthony Hopkins' character trying to pass it off as his own discovery, my mind started to spin violently.
All in all, if Anthony Hopkins only lectured about the joys of mathematics, Proof would've been enjoyable.
Prophecy (1979)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/04, 7/09
7/09:
A lot of people think of The Prophecy as the horror movie with Christopher Walken,
but there was an environmental picture from the 70's with Armand Asante about an ursine monster that's bred through
mutated genes because of the toxic waste dump.
The last time I saw Prophecy, I remember it as a tale of two halves. My opinion still holds today. The first
is better because of the investigation which should've been expanded to give the film an interesting angle to
operate with.
What worked is the simultaneous conflicts: the mistreatment of the American Indians, the methylmercury poisoning case, the
effect it had on the doctor's wife (I don't think the fetus will be affected due to minimal fish consumption while
others ate fish and animals for a long time), and the mutants spawned by the environmental disaster.
At this point, Prophecy was on its way to be better than the usual sci-fi crap as seen from the 50's and on SyFy.
However, the momentum dissipates as soon as the monster takes over. From there on, the film falls apart,
and the weak, contrived, and unsatisfactory ending is one of the worst I've seen.
All in all, Prophecy had a lot of promise to begin with, but it's been turned into junk.
The Prophecy (1995)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
It's a mini-reunion for Christopher Walken, Amanda Plummer, and Eric Stoltz in The Prophecy one year after
Pulp Fiction was made.
They're the most polished actors of the cast who've gone wasted. Viggo Mortensen also appears.
What's Virginia Madsen doing in this stinker? All she does is get in the way.
So many great things could've been done with Christopher Walken. Such a shame. At least, he does something that's
über cool when he's in the morgue and gives a "shh" before setting the body on fire. It's a classic Christopher
Walken moment.
The chief reason for the film's downfall is the mumbo jumbo story as I didn't understand any of it for a while.
Viggo Mortensen's character may have explained some, but I had been mostly in the dark. By the time
the mystery is cleared up, it's too late.
When Gabriel finally seized the opportunity to take the girl's soul, why didn't he go "shh" on the two characters
who were standing in his way? It would've been simple, ending the film right there. What does the whole thing
have to do with American Indians? Is it supposed to be related to Christianity? Why is Gabriel interested in
Colonel's soul? I'm sure there are others in the world who are as evil.
The angels fight each other over one measly soul to settle the thousand-year war in order to please God. Really?
Um, why? Gabriel has a keen sense of smell, so why not do it with Mary instead of asking her questions? And he
has a servant, who's barely dead, to drive the car for him? Remember when Simon threw Uziel out of the window.
Then, he's met by a speeding car that rammed him to the wall in the alley. I must ask this: what is it doing
there going so fast? Also, why is the kid happy to be randomly smacked by a green ball?
All in all, thanks to the talking monkeys who made The Prophecy, Christopher Walken's
potential of evilness was barely tapped.
The Prophecy 3: The Ascent (2000)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/12
12/12:
The biggest WTF moment of The Prophecy 3: The Ascent is when Christopher Walken drove a
convertible car with no windshield while playing the trumpet.
My sole thought during that moment was: "Why is he wasting his time with this trash?"
All in all, Christopher Walken should take more care in his selection of films to be involved with.
The Prophecy II (1998)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
The good news of The Prophecy II is Christopher Walken, but the bad news is: his talent has been wasted
once again.
It's exactly like the original, nothing more. But that's cool poster right there, Mr. Walken. You'll always
have my respect.
I'm tired of watching the bad guy in search of the ultimate that will end life as we know it but dies at the end.
How many such movies have been made in all, starting with The Omen franchise?
All in all, I want to "shh" The Craphecy II to set it on fire.
Prozac Nation (2001)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/20, 12/21
12/20:
Christina Ricci is a longtime great actress, and it's Prozac Nation that she gives the performance of
her career.
The subject matter is right up her alley, and it's a perfect selection. On the other hand, Jessica Lange shows
why she's one of the finest actresses ever. Films about drug abuse have been done
to death, but this one is rather different: the effects of prescribed psychotropic drugs.
At first, things appear fine, but when Elizabeth's mother shows up, it's painfully clear that she's the principal
root of her problems. The set of behaviors she displays makes for poor parenting. Then, add her father into
the mix, and it becomes volatile in the emotional sense.
Sometimes, Elizabeth is shocking by how self-destructive she can be. So, the only solution to her problems isn't
prescription drugs but to calm down and take it easy. But no...she keeps adding more imaginary pressure onto
herself. At any rate, I don't feel sorry for her and predict a short life. Unsurprisingly, the real Elizabeth
Wurtzel died this year at age 52.
If anything, I hate the psychologist's mannerisms. They're so condescending and superior that she should've
adjusted them to be more friendly and inviting. Instead, she may have fueled Elizabeth with more negative
thoughts and anger during and after the therapy sessions.
All in all, the performances by Christina Ricci and Jessica Lange are the strong reason to see
Prozac Nation.
12/21:
Christina Ricci has been a great actress for a long time, and it's hard to believe she wasn't Oscar-nominated
for Prozac Nation.
It's simply the best performance of her career. Jessica Lange is also terrific. Obviously, the daughter's
problems stem mainly from her mother, and thus, Elizabeth Wurtzel is a psychological mess. It has nothing to do
with drugs or Prozac for that matter. Unsurprisingly, the real Elizabeth Wurtzel died in 2020 at the age of 52.
All in all, Christina Ricci and Jessica Lange were robbed of Oscars for Prozac Nation.
Psycho (1960)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
12/02, 6/06, 5/11, 6/19
6/06:
No peeking please.
Who did Anthony Perkins beat out to win the Oscar for his landmark role in Psycho? The correct answer is: nobody.
In fact, he wasn't even nominated. Yes, it's a shocking fact which is simply unthinkable to this day.
Forty-six years later, Norman Bates is one of the most enduring villains in the history of motion pictures. Various channels
continue to play Psycho all the time on TV, and you know it's Norman Bates when you see his face. That's Anthony
Perkins' legacy in cinema.
For some while, Alfred Hitchcock had lost his way, and he needed a big hit to get back into the game. When Robert
Bloch's novel Psycho came along, he, still smarting after being beaten by Henri-Georges Clouzot for
Les diaboliques by only a matter of hours, bought the film rights for
$9,500 and then kept it a secret by buying the rest of the published copies.
When Psycho came out, it set attendance records in many countries and saw long lines outside theatres.
Shot for less than one million dollars, the sexual-psychological thriller went on to be Alfred Hitchcock's highest grossing
film ever. What's interesting is that it's his first horror movie which became the game changer of the slasher genre.
Taking a shower would never be the same again, not after what happened. In fact, that's all the people
can visualize when they think about Psycho: Norman Bates, the kitchen knife, Marion Crane's scream, the music, and the
blood...all fast in 45 seconds with 78 setups and 52 cuts. All of a sudden, the lead character is gone a third
of the way into the film.
It's easy to forget Alfred Hitchcock made other films, but he's synonymous with Psycho. He would never top it
for the rest of his life. It may be the only film of his résumé many people would see which is too bad.
All in all, Psycho is equal parts of Alfred Hitchcock, Anthony Perkins, Janet Leigh, and Bernard Herrmann.
5/11:
Taking a shower hasn't been the same again after Psycho.
Quickly think of what comes to your mind when I say the title. It's Norman Bates with the kitchen knife and Marion
Crane screaming her lungs out.
All in all, it's shocking Anthony Perkins didn't get the Oscar for Psycho; in fact, nobody else did, either,
in other categories.
6/19:
How the heck was Anthony Perkins not Oscar-nominated for his world-famous role of Norman Bates in Psycho?
It has to be among the top ten greatest performances ever. Without him, there's no Psycho. His character
is batshit crazy with the greatest lines such as:
"We all go a little mad sometimes."
"A boy's best friend is his mother."
"A son is a poor substitute for a lover."
"I think I must have one of those faces you can't help believing."
"It's not like my mother is a maniac or a raving thing."
Back from the dead, what a fine achievement for Alfred Hitchcock. Nothing compares to the level of technical excellence as
seen here which set the standard for the psycho-sexual slasher picture genre. In truth, Alfred Hitchcock had a difficult
time in getting the project off the ground which resulted in a budget of approximately $800,000 while resorting to using
his TV crew from the show Alfred Hitchcock Presents. It's because nobody at the studio believed in him. By the way,
you can spot Alfred Hitchcock in the film through the window as Janet Leigh enters the office in Phoenix, Arizona.
Poor Marion Crane, she was the principal character in the first forty-eight minutes and, all of a sudden, got bumped
off by Norman Bates for what's considered one of the greatest and most shocking scenes in cinema history. Its effect
still reverberates to this day as in "taking a shower will never be the same again after Psycho."
All in all, it's difficult to separate Anthony Perkins and Psycho which put a huge stamp on Alfred
Hitchcock's moniker as the Master of Suspense.
Psycho (1998)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/06, 7/19
6/06:
What the fuck was going on in Gus Van Sant's head when he agreed to plagiarize Psycho?
Not only Gus did that abominable piece of shit, but he also went an extra step further to insult Alfred Hitchcock by
including a masturbation scene which is absolutely unfathomable. I'm sure everybody went, "Oh, yeah.
Psycho, that's an American classic" and then proceeded to unzip their fly to
piss on it.
It's one of the worst films I've ever seen in my life. It was copied scene for scene. Everybody who was part
of the remake should be shamed, and Vince Vaughn will burn forever in cinema hell for what he did.
All in all, Alfred Hitchcock is fucking spinning in his coffin.
7/19:
Gus Van Sant's Psycho is what gives remakes a bad name.
The point of them, in which he totally misses, is to improve on the original after discovering some faults.
The Thing and Cape Fear are good examples.
Yet Psycho had none to begin with and is a bona fide horror masterpiece. Instead, Gus
practically lifts everything from it by looking at the movie itself and tells everybody, "I want you to do this and that
in the exact same way." In fact, it isn't even a remake but a pure rip-off which was gladly green-lit by Universal Studios.
Pat Hitchcock commented that his father would've been thrilled with the whole exercise. No, she's wrong. He would be
spinning in his grave, having been appalled at what the fuck just happened. Not only is the remake a virtual
scene-for-scene (shot-for-shot isn't exactly the correct term) of the original, but it's also masturbated upon. I can
imagine Anthony Perkins losing five years of his life by this alone. He would've been pissed off, too,
about the gay innuendos made by several commentators in the DVD special Psycho Path. That's not what the movie was
about; it's Norman Bates murdering people while pretending to be his mother.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that the 1998 version is the original and that Alfred Hitchcock's picture doesn't exist.
It'll still get a '1' from me because of the terrible performances. Plus, every single scene is poorly executed with
an E.T. doing the butchering in the shower. Now, changing the cirumstances by assuming the original exists, there are no
surprises or shocking moments; it happened in 1960, the very first time the movie was shown, and it's history. When the
plagiarized remake came out, everybody, including me, was already past the point.
As for the two central characters, Anne Heche is awful. She even sucks in math by missing the subtracted total by a dollar.
Vince Vaughn is goofy stupid. To compare them with Janet Leigh and Anthony Perkins, respectively, is night and day. It's
obvious by their facial expressions alone.
What's with the Boogie Nights cast? I see three of them: Julianne Moore (with her
walkman on!), William H. Macy, and Philip Baker Hall. The first two have done a great job of stabbing
Psycho to death with their abysmal performances. Robert Forster is like "ah,
fuck it" when he gave the Simon Oakland speech.
Andrei Konchalovsky said remaking Psycho could be compared to doing Hamlet
or Othello for the umpteenth time. But there lies the difference: both are plays which are left to open
interpretation while Gun Van Sant lifted everything from the original with slight differences. In fact, I think it's the
only film ever to have been done this way.
Joseph Stefano's writing was given a face-lift to make it more attuned to the 90's, yet I shudder at the line, "If it don't
jell, it ain't Jell-O, and this just ain't jelling" when the following original line sounds better, "You see, if it doesn't
jell, it isn't aspic, and this ain't jelling."
All in all, Gus Van Sant ruined his reputation when he plagiarized Psycho.
Psycho II (1983)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/02, 9/04, 8/07, 6/19
8/07:
It's understandable Psycho II wasn't going to top the original, but that didn't stop Anthony Perkins from trying to.
In fact, it became a bigger box-office hit than Alfred Hitchcock's masterpiece, yet it's not a good movie.
Of course, it's twenty-two years later, and Norman Bates is coming home. So, what else is new?
When I finished the movie, I felt like I was in a drunken stupor despite the fact that I don't consume alcohol of any kind.
Granted, Psycho II is one of the stupidest pictures I've seen. Nothing makes any sense whatsoever. I can't fathom
why Marion Crane's sister would travel from Arizona to California to waste her time on some guy after all these years
(22!). Norman Bates had paid his dues to society, so why bother making things worse than they have to be? How plot
unfolded tells me it's the work of a genius madman. The problem? Norman Bates is a perfectly dumb creature. That's why
I can't buy the story.
As far as the sequel goes, the acting is somewhat decent, but the running length has eventually gotten to me. If half an
hour could be cut out, it would've fared better. It's been a lot of waiting for anything to
happen. The scariest moment is when Meg Tilly took a look through the peephole and saw somebody's eye. Interestingly,
here's a piece of trivia from IMDb:
"Meg Tilly was never allowed to watch any sort of television as a child, and so had never seen the original Psycho
and was unaware of its significance. She didn't understand why the press was giving all the attention to Anthony Perkins
for his comeback role in this movie, and one day on the set, Perkins overheard her say, 'Why is Tony getting all the
attention?' Perkins was upset, didn't talk to her during filming, and recommended that she be replaced, even though half
of her scenes had already been shot."
All in all, Psycho II is garbage.
6/19:
It's been twenty-two years since Norman Bates graced the silver screen, and he's back for some more in Psycho II.
There's no way he would've been let out of the mental institution, not after what happened in 1960. Strangely, I'm
only aware of four murders: Norman Bates' mother, her lover, Marion Crane, and Private Detective Arbogast. There's a
mention of seven, so I guess sometime between the first two and the last two Norman killed three people who were possibly
girls as heard from a rumor at the end of the original.
There are a couple of scary moments. It's when the mother was seen through the window upstairs at the famous Bates' house
which looks great as ever. The other one is when Meg Tilly looked through the peephole from the other side of the
bathroom and somebody's eye, all of a sudden, appeared. Is that Anthony Perkins', I wonder? The killings are
effective but gruesome by Hitchcock's standards.
If Norman Bates was left alone, his mental state wouldn't have crumbled quickly. Then again, it can
happen sooner or later when he has become bored of life. The psychiatrist should've met with Norman Bates at least two or
three times a week to ease his transition to the real world after being institutionalized for so long.
As I was about to give the movie a '7', the last ten minutes ruins it and is thus unnecessary. It's a classic case of
trying too much. So, I suppose it's perfectly all right for the old lady to show up and say nonchalantly that she's
Norman's mother and that his other mother was her sister. Upon hearing this, Norman just stands there and says, "Oh,
that's cool. Well...want some tea?"
On the other hand, Anthony Perkins hasn't missed a beat and is at ease playing Norman Bates. Vera Miles is back to
her ball-busting ways, but it's stupid to think that she would stoop so low to bait Norman Bates after
twenty-two years. Already a dead giveaway for using Marion Crane's alias when she checked into Bates Motel, Meg Tilly helps
make the implausible story work. Handshake, great tan, and all, Robert Loggia is Robert Loggia. Dennis Franz is
too much and is therefore quickly disposed of.
All in all, a top 20 finisher at the box office in 1983, Psycho II is a decent sequel to the original but is ruined
by the additional ten-minute scene at the end.
Psycho III (1986)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/07, 6/19
8/07:
Aiming to be nothing but a cash cow sequel for the franchise, Psycho III fails to muster anything new.
About fifty percent is recycled from the first part with another quarter from the second part. What helps
is the remainder that feels fresh which are better camera work, more structured story, and faster pace.
I was thinking during the last two films, "When will I see Norman Bates in a drag?" The final ten minutes didn't disappoint
me in this regard. When it comes to acting, I don't think anybody but Anthony Perkins deserves accolades. Jeff Fahey comes
close to stealing the show, but his character got offed in a weird way. There are several good one-liners such as "You
could have been comin' instead of goin'," "Watch the guitar," and "No one ever does" after Norman was told Duke wouldn't
stay that long.
For Anthony Perkins as a newbie director, he pulls off an admirable job of being visually creative, but he should've
stayed away from Bela Lugosi's trap by doing something else. Then again, he didn't have much longer
to live, having found out he was tested HIV-positive during the filming of Psycho III and passing away from
AIDS-related pneumonia six years later.
All in all, Psycho III is an empty subpar sequel that manages to be neither enjoyable nor boring.
6/19:
The race is on: was Norman Bates or Anthony Perkins more of a psycho?
For an hour, Psycho III was going okay, but the last thirty minutes is when the shit hit the fan with everybody
running out of ideas. Littered throughout are ripped-off moments from the original with one more from
Vertigo at the beginning. There's not much of a story; it's just the same old shit
being rehashed. By the way, the tagline of the movie poster exclaims, "The Most Shocking Of Them All." Um, they
lost me there as the original had already did that.
The cast is okay. Playing as the misogynistic rapist in one of his earliest movie roles, Jeff Fahey looks like he can take
on Norman Bates, but his character dies without putting up a fight. Diana Scarwid may have seen the death
of her career as a potential B-list actress after appearing in Psycho III along with other forgettable films that
were released in 1986.
All in all, it's time for Anthony Perkins to put Norman Bates in the grave once and for all.
Psycho IV: The Beginning (1990)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/07, 6/19
9/07:
On the surface, Psycho IV: The Beginning appears good, but when I think about it more, the stupider the
movie actually is.
I don't see this as a horror picture but more of a dramatic piece with some horror thrown in for good measure.
First of all, Norman Bates would've never gotten out of the insane asylum. It's the film's breaking point.
Second, no respectable psychiatrist would fall in love with a certified insane man, let alone the idea of a marriage.
Third, if Norman Bates made confession through radio that he was planning to kill somebody, it should've triggered a
statewide alert.
Fourth, the way the movie ended had me believing Norman Bates got cured once and for all. That doesn't happen in
real life, not even after fortysomething years.
Psycho IV: The Beginning is a great idea to go back to Norman Bates' life before everything happened in the
original film. Yet it's annoying to see him be interviewed by a chain-smoking black female radio talk host. Some
respectability must be shown here.
Henry Thomas is perfect to play the young Norman Bates, and I should've seen it coming before. Olivia Hussey, who's
the mother of Norman Bates, gives an okay performance. The relationship between these two loses my attention
once Chet shows up. The movie evaporates quickly thereafter.
If Norman Bates is under distress before taking a long look back at his past and some recent characters show up, why don't
the filmmakers also bring back his victims from the last three films? If the third part emphasizes that Marion Crane has
been his haunting memory, why doesn't it happen, either? Another aspect that ruins the sequel is how each victim keeps
coming back from the dead to give one last stupid gasp before expiring for good.
It's interesting to see Norman's mother coming out of the bathroom in her bedroom. Remember in
Psycho II, Meg Tilly's character was looking through the peephole with a bathroom
on the other side of the wall, but there's no private bathroom in this sequel.
All in all, Psycho IV: The Beginning isn't the beginning but the end of the franchise.
6/19:
This is not the beginning but the end of Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates.
Mick Garris is a moron for a director, having done only three horror movies from '88 to '92 with all of them being bad.
Psycho IV: The Beginning is a case in point. Like Amos Poe, he's obsessed with pink and green neon lights.
The ending is an all-time stupidity.
The movie mostly ignores what happened in the last three films as evidenced by the parade of victims confronting Norman
Bates of what he did to them, the motel doing fairly well before "Chet" showed up, and the mother's room having no bathroom to
the left of her bed. To advance the story is Norman Bates narrating his childhood during the radio talk show....zzz, it's
dull. To my relief, the Ms. Spool bullshit angle has been thrown out of the window.
Speaking of Norman's mother, I expected an old, blue-haired woman but not a semi good-looking, highly virile woman like
Olivia Hussey. Otherwise, why does she wear old women's clothes that his son dressed up in prior to killing the females?
I find it hard to believe the house looks fresh with white paint when it must have been between five and ten years prior
to Marion Crane's murder which showed dark wood sidings as seen in parts two and three.
Norman Bates...married? Ha! Why would the psychiatrist, of all people, do that? He should be in prison or at least will
be after making a confession of the previously unknown murders he committed when he was a teenager. If it's a known fact
that Norman killed a lot of people, as readily acknowledged by the psychologist-author, then he should've been confined
permanently decades ago. Remember, statute of limitations for murder never runs out.
All in all, okay, that's enough, Norman...now, run along to your room and never come out again.
Pulp (1972)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
"An absolutely smashing movie."
Then, why did Pulp fail at the box office in 1972 while receiving so many negative reviews? In
fact, it barely showed up in theatres. Maybe Time should've refrained from judging films
altogether to save itself the embarrassment.
After the brilliant success of Get Carter, director Mike Hodges and
Michael Caine decided to reteam for Pulp, but this time, it didn't work. They aren't the problem. It's
the script that is. The whole thing makes no sense just like Al Lettieri's character going to the middle of
the beach and letting himself be run over by a truck as indicated by the movie poster.
Five (or was it six?) people are killed, and what do they have to do with the pulp writer? The answer
is: he's been set up to take the fall à la The Maltese Falcon.
Enter Humphrey Bogart look-alike to lay down the final answer. Har har har. At least, the placement of the
bathroom in room 313 is interesting, but I fail to understand why up there with the stairs. Maybe that's the
point of the whole thing: logic doesn't matter.
The writing is terrific with a lot of clever lines and references. Unfortunately, it's about 40% together,
setting me up for a convoluted viewing experience. Then, there's Mickey Rooney. What an all-time ham actor,
and I hate him. After fifteen years of being away from Hollywood, the unrecognizable Lizabeth Scott
makes a comeback for the final film of her career just to remind everybody that she's good in bed.
Michael Caine must have been in heaven when he got the chance to be in the same screen with Robert
Sacchi, considering that he's a huge fan of Humphrey Bogart, having taken the prominent word from
The Caine Mutiny for his last name.
All in all, Michael Caine has made his career by appearing in many stinkers, but Pulp
is a rarity among them by showcasing several winning features.
Pulp Fiction (1994)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/03, 1/05, 4/06, 6/11
4/06:
The performances, the conversations, the style, and the cult feel are what Pulp Fiction is all about.
I saw the film at a theatre in 1994, and it blew me away. John Travolta is perfect. It's the second
greatest performance of his career. He should've won the Oscar. Nobody was better than him in 1994.
Uma Thurman is amazing while Samuel L. Jackson is special, too.
My favorite scene is John Travolta and Uma Thurman doing the dance. It's timeless just like the
beach scene in From Here to Eternity. A close second best is quickly
followed up with the drug overdose scene. Oh, the lines, are they ever quotable:
"English, motherfucker, do you speak it?"
"They call it a Royale with cheese."
"Lance! The goddamn phone's ringing!"
"That's thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten."
"Then you know what I'm sayin'!"
"I'm American, honey. Our names don't mean shit."
"The night of the fight, you may feel a slight sting. That's pride fucking with you. Fuck pride. Pride only hurts, it
never helps."
"Say 'what' again. Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say 'what' one more goddamn time!"
"It's a chopper, baby."
"Which one's Trudi? The one with all the shit in her face?"
"Does he look like a bitch?"
"Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead."
"I do believe Marsellus Wallace, my husband, your boss, told you to take me out and do whatever I wanted. Now I wanna
dance, I wanna win. I want that trophy, so dance good."
"Then why you tryin' to fuck him like a bitch, Brett?"
"Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!"
"Lance! It's Vincent. I'm in big fuckin' trouble, man. I'm coming to your house."
"Yes, you did. Yes, you did, Brett! You tried to fuck him."
"So you gotta pierce through that. So what you have to do is, you have to bring the needle down in a stabbing motion."
"It's the one that says 'Bad Motherfucker.'"
"This watch."
"I-I gotta stab her three times?"
"Be cool, Honey Bunny!"
"Pig."
"I'll be there in two shakes of a lamb's tail."
"What happens after that?"
"I'm prepared to scour the Earth for that motherfucker. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a nigger hiding in a bowl of
rice ready to pop a cap in his ass."
"I'm Winston Wolf. I solve problems."
"I'm kinda curious about that myself..."
"A little black fuckin' medical book! It's like a textbook they give to nurses."
"Well, there's this passage I got memorized. Sort of fits this occasion. Ezekiel 25:17.
'The path of the righteous man...is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish...and the tyranny of evil men.
Blessed is He who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for He is truly
his brother's keeper...and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance...and
furious anger...those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! And you will know my name is the Lord...when
I lay my vengeance upon thee!'"
"I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?"
All in all, it's too bad about what happened to Quentin Tarantino.
6/11:
I've decided to drop a point from my rating for Pulp Fiction.
I feel it has become an overrated flick that's losing slightly against the test of time. Sure, there are plenty of classic
scenes, but it never operates like a single film altogether. Also, the dialogue has started to lose the appeal.
Even worse is the decay of shock value which seems to be done in poor taste.
Ever since the film's success, Quentin Tarantino has become an overrated director, failing to be the same again. It has hurt
the film's lasting power. No matter what, John Travolta is still brilliant as Vincent Vega. Uma Thurman and Samuel L.
Jackson are special, too.
All in all, Pulp Fiction is coming apart a bit.
Pump Up the Volume (1990)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/03, 10/05
10/05:
If you want to laugh hard, then I present you Pump Up the Volume.
This one tries too much, and the message doesn't work. The content is juvenile and superficial to be taken seriously.
Equally bad is the obscene amount of close-ups throughout.
The proposed solutions by Hard Harry for the problems facing high school adolescents are nothing new. In the movie, it seems
to affect over 90% of them when in reality it's closer to a third or less. The acting isn't great, but Christian Slater
pulls through.
All in all, Pump Up the Volume is dated.
Pumpkin (2002)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
While watching Pumpkin, I was deeply offended.
The Washington Post called the film "hysterically funny." Excuse me, what's so funny about the mistreatment of
people with disabilities? Enlighten me, please.
The use of the word "retarded" is inappropriately thrown around like it's nothing. When the mentally challenged young man
was being bullied by a boy, I was astounded to see no chaperones taking care of the situation.
I'm not an expert when it comes to mental retardation, but I don't believe any of the actors knew how to portray one correctly.
Having worked with many of them, I know they're not zombies as if it's
Night of the Living Dead. Of course, pretty
girls work with mentally challenged people, but it doesn't mean that a sexual affair will emerge every time. If it does,
then I question the girl's thought process.
By the way, why does Christina Ricci keep showing off her tits through clothes in more than half of the scenes? Is it
just to keep the viewers glued to their seats, no matter how bad the movie is?
All in all, Pumpkin is blatantly offensive when it comes to the treatment of people with disabilities.
Pumpkinhead (1988)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/14
5/14:
Pumpkinhead is an excuse to showcase Stan Winston's galore of special effects.
In many ways, the film is a rip-off of Alien although I'm aware he worked on the sequel,
but there's a clear difference between these two. Once again, every time I see Lance Henriksen, I think of
Aliens.
Well, it only takes an idiotic plot to bring the special effects out of Stan Winston's bag.
You know, when a kid is run over, people will call the police and let them deal with it. But nooo...they must take a
different course of action here. And you know, Lance, after seeing his chiseled physique, looks like a capable person. Why,
his character can take on the teenagers who did this to his son. But nooooo...they must take a different course of action
here.
Hence, it's a stupid, lifeless movie that's a stupid waste of my time. I stopped caring about what happened,
and I was rooting for nobody but the ending to come already.
All in all, there's one thing that's abundantly clear about Stan Winston, and it's this: he cannot direct.
Punch Drunks (1934)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
Punch Drunks is among the weakest from the Three Stooges franchise.
I don't find the premise interesting. Some jokes are funny, but I'm rather bored by the whole thing.
All in all, the Three Stooges film shorts have to be more consistent going forward.
Punchline (1988)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/05, 3/25
3/25:
When I think of an absolutely unfunny comedy, Punchline immediately comes to my mind.
There must have been 200...300...perhaps 400 jokes thrown at me, and I didn't laugh once. That has to be a
record. What I don't appreciate is the audience laughing so hard at them. I know what's funny, and this ain't it.
As a matter of fact, if Damon Wayans could use his own stuff, he would've blown away the competition. Just check
out his skits in In Living Color.
Forget that Tom Hanks and Sally Field are the lead stars or that they have four Oscars in total. He kissing
her in one scene is quite icky. She's obviously too old-looking for him and will play his mother in
Forrest Gump. The writing is constantly poor, and none of the drama
registers with me.
Playing a mentally ill character, Tom Hanks wrote his stand-up routine to try out on a real audience, and it
didn't work. He kept revising his stuff until giving up and enlisted the help of a friend to give him
new material. On the other hand, Sally Field does comedy? I don't think so, buddy. If there's anything positive
to say, Mark Rydell gives a standout performance as the comedy club owner.
All in all, Punchline has no pulse and should thus be retitled Flatline.
The Punisher (1989)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
Bored out of my mind, I felt punished while watching The Punisher.
In a serious need of a cup of strong black coffee, Dolph Lundgren sleepwalks his role as the eponymous anti-hero. It's clear
by 1989 that he's no actor. Dolph lacks energy and is too laconic to be interesting enough. But it's not his fault
for bombing the film; the plot, the direction, and the editing are bad as well.
All in all, The Punisher is exactly what the title says.
Pure Luck (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/24
4/24:
I'm impressed with Pure Luck.
I had seen the trailer many times going back to 1991 but never took the chance until now. The wait has
been worth it. I understand there's a French film entitled La Chèvre, and I'll have to reserve some of
my judgment since this one isn't unique.
Lots of parts are quite funny, thanks to Martin Short's antics. Danny Glover isn't bad although there are
strange, awkward pauses he gives off. The best part is when Martin Short sat down and showed postcards to a
black guy while his partner was sitting a couple of tables away. It's totally believable if this happened for real.
Given Eugene Proctor's lifetime of bad luck, I'm surprised the plane that carried him actually arrived in Mexico.
I can see this being a viable series of films. The first part has Eugene stuck in the United States almost the
whole time because of one thing or another, then he's able to leave, and the movie is, all of a sudden, over.
The second part, he keeps dealing with the hotel and the mishaps along the way to there, and the ending comes
by the time he's through with them all. The third part, he and his partner start investigating the woman's
disappearance but are blocked by obstacles by sheer bad luck, and the movie stops before the first lead is
discovered. Now, you get the idea, and I think it'll be funny this way.
All in all, I guess I'll have to see La Chèvre and be ultimately disappointed with Pure Luck.
The Purple Plain (1954)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/24
7/24:
One of the most underrated performances of Gregory Peck's career is given in The Purple Plain.
Prior to starting the film, I had Geoffrey Unsworth in my top ten list of cinematographers. When I saw his name
in the opening screen credits, my expectations were raised. As a result, he didn't disappoint. Geoffrey Unsworth's
Technicolor photography does Gregory Peck huge favors, and his face has never looked so flawless.
What's particularly nice is the supporting cast that's made up of real Asians. A case in point is Win Min Than who
plays Gregory Peck's love interest Anna. She was born and raised in Burma. A picture was taken of her and sent to
director Robert Parrish who immediately decided she was right for the role. Hence, it's the only film of Win Min
Than's career. Brenda de Banzie can't be discounted for her fine acting job as Miss McNab.
The story is interesting and all, reminding me of Alive, but there's one change
that I prefer to see implemented. The first act should be condensed to twenty minutes while the survival story
is stretched to two hours long with the ending kept as it is. This way, the arduous and trying ordeal that
Forrester went through will render emotions more palpable at the end, allowing the film to enter Best Picture
territory.
What Forrester suggested makes total sense. Think about it: three men have a canteen of water and no food which
should last a few days, give or take. Blore wants to wait for the search party to come to rescue them. Yet he
doesn't know that for sure. So, why stick around and ultimately doom everybody if nothing happens by then? In
three days, it means they'll be low in strength with nothing left to drink or eat. And if it's only thirty miles
away, I don't see what the issue is by walking back to where they came from, especially in the dark. It only takes
a third of an hour to cover a mile, and this means twenty miles in less than eight hours. That's not so bad.
Therefore, Blore is a stupid, weak person to begin with, and I can't believe he committed suicide.
All in all, I consider The Purple Plain to be among best films in Gregory Peck's oeuvre.
Purple Rain (1984)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/19
8/19:
Unusual and gripping to make for a cinema experience, Purple Rain is Prince's magnum opus.
In fact, he doesn't come to mind without thinking of Purple Rain. The sex symbol was 26 when he composed
the songs and starred in the movie. It's an amazing accomplishment, and that's why everybody in the music
industry of the last twenty-five years is talentless compared to Prince who had a certain something which is hard
to explain.
Some of his most famous songs are "When Doves Cry," "Let's Go Crazy," and "I Would Die 4 U." As a result,
the soundtrack won the Oscar for Best Original Song Score. To this day, it remains popular, seeing a revival
after Prince's untimely death in 2016 at age 57.
Shot on location in Minneapolis, Prince's hometown which includes First Avenue nightclub where he got his first
start in 1981, the semi-autobiographical movie is fantastic. This is Prince at his peak. The choreography and
the editing are mind-blowing. Replacing Vanity who left before the commencement of filming, the beautiful
Apollonia Kotero is perfect as Prince's woman. They have great chemistry with the best scene at Lake Minnetonka.
Let's not forget Morris Day who gives an underrated performance.
All in all, Purple Rain is unique and moving, and Prince was a magnificent talent.
Pursued (1947)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/04, 4/24
4/24:
Pursued is the first Western noir?
Ha! It's more like a straightforward family drama piece with some elements of film noir. What works
the best is the cinematography. Hence, Pursued makes for an easy viewing. However, it's been a lot of
work on my part for nothing once the true reason is revealed at the end which turns out to be lame.
Okay, so...the one-armed guy is mad because Jeb Rand's father stole his brother's wife. Please, that stuff
happens all the time which is as old as the scriptures. If Grant wanted to kill Jeb, he should've gotten it
over with from the beginning when he had the kid spotted riding his colt. Instead, he's let go, and
twentysomething years pass before the matter can be settled. The whole time, Jeb is confused because Mrs. Callum
never bothered telling him the history of the past and how it's connected to the nightmares he's been having.
If he knew, he would be like, "Oh........that's why."
The other issue is the weak romance between Jeb Rand and Thor Callum. No matter how much they're in love with
each other, it's never believable for a second. In fact, they're at heart brother and sister. Anyway, Robert
Mitchum is fine and right for the character, but Teresa Wright is a weak actress who can't make herself to be
love interest for anybody. The only reason why she was cast is that her real-life husband wrote the screenplay.
By the way, why the silly voice-over narration? Thor already knew all of it because she grew up with Jeb!
All in all, Pursued is almost a Western rip-off of
The Magnificent Ambersons.
Pursuit (1972)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
Shot on location in San Diego for eleven days, Pursuit is a dated, low-budget telefilm that lacks
intelligence.
It may be Michael Crichton's initial foray into directing, but he's mediocre. Hence, he's better in generating
ideas for other directors, so they can realize his vision. The first half of Pursuit is boring, but
the second half is better yet is full of illogical moments.
Why is Steven Graves careless to let two cops in the hallway, knowing full well the deadly effects of nerve gas?
At the same time, why not evacuate the building? Just announce something innocuous to get it over with. Earlier,
Graves and his partner were following James Wright but practically let him build the apparatus. Why? Just stop
him already!
The last fifteen minutes bothers me. The apparatus is in one building, fifteen stories high, and the federal
agents are in another building, also fifteen stories high. They're maybe 200 meters apart. Graves and the
chemical researcher go from the fifteenth floor to ground level, walk to the other building, take the elevator
to the top, find access to the roof, and do a lot of preparations for Graves to rappel down to the fifteenth
floor. All of this takes place in the span of thirteen minutes. Uh, yeah...that'll do. You can also forget about
the guy running down for the sniffer and going back up in three minutes flat.
After the agents find the bomb, they decide to toss it out of the window which eventually explodes in the air. As
a result, nobody is injured or dead. So, I guess it's the Disney version of terrorism. Meanwhile, the cast is
fine; all do a good job. E.G. Marshall is the most responsible for keeping the tension taut. It's amusing to
learn of Martin Sheen's role as a computer hacker which must have sounded alien during the early 70's although
computers, especially the internet, were heavily used in the military.
All in all, Pursuit makes a case as the earliest picture to use nerve agent in the form of a bioweapon, but
it's not suspenseful by any means.