On W List of Movie Reviews
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Waterworld (1995)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
9/04, 6/17, 12/21
6/17:
Waterworld starts off by showing Earth as I know it now before it's covered with water due to the melted polar ice caps
which isn't possible at all.
Then, the screen pans down to the Mariner who's urinating in some plastic jar and pours it in a filter machine before drinking
it. I bet your piss tastes great, eh Kev? Now, I get how this is related to the movie's tagline: "Beyond the horizon lies the
secret to a new beginning." That's all the people could talk about when the movie was theatrically released in 1995.
It's a fascinating topic if the world was suddenly out of freshwater. Unfortunately, nobody can drink his own urine, purified
or not, because it's impossible to remove the salt which causes dehydration. Honestly, Waterworld never got over it,
leading to many negative reviews. I'll give Kevin Costner a pass because his character is supposed to be part human and part
fish. Then again, tropical fish can tolerate saltwater, right?
What I like is the premise. It's a technical achievement, the first for a film that takes place on water, which is the
reason why so much money went into the budget, becoming hitherto the most expensive ever just to make the ideas happen.
People thought, because of Waterworld's failure, Titanic was going to be the
Heaven's Gate of the 90's. But they all turned out to be dead wrong when James Cameron's
epic romance-disaster celluloid proved to be a huge success, breaking box-office records and becoming the highest-grossing
film of all time before inflation.
Waterworld is basically Mad Max on sea which is the best part. There's a lot of action,
and it's impossible to be bored. There are also funny parts. Disappointingly, Jeanne Tripplehorn and Tina
Majorino get in the way too much, leading to the wreckage of the Mariner's ultracool retro trimaran. I thought he should've
dumped them in the ocean to save himself the grief.
Another trouble is the premise that invites many questions such as: How do these people, however many of them there are,
survive? Are there enough water and food? How can these people look so good and healthy? Where did they get the alcoholic
drinks and cigarettes? Did they raise tobacco somewhere? Are there others just like the Mariner? How can he go miles deep
underwater and not suffer from pressure and the bends? The same goes for the woman, too. Where are the fish and birds?
Kevin Costner is perfect as the Mariner, and he's a lot of fun to watch. Dennis Hopper is great as his nemesis, but there's
little of him and he has a weak death scene. By the way, did you ever wonder about the picture of a guy named Joseph
Hazelwood? He's the captain who crashed the Exxon Valdez, causing it to discharge million gallons of oil into Prince
William Sound which is near Alaska. He was probably drunk when it happened, hence the Smokers' alcohol references.
All in all, the oceanic action is what makes Waterworld memorable, but the plot needs a lot of work; as a
matter of fact, the script underwent thirty-six drafts by six different writers.
12/21:
Upgrading my rating of '6' to '7', Waterworld still holds up well as a great wet actioner in the vein of
The Road Warrior and
Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.
The only main negative is it's too long. The middle needs to be re-edited. There's no point for
the Mariner to have the woman and girl aboard; they were liabilities the entire time with nothing to offer. As a result, his
awesome-looking trimaran got shipwrecked.
Interestingly enough, a lot of Kevin Costner's acrobatic stunts seem to be a transfer from
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
At any rate, he's entertaining to watch. So is Dennis Hopper. However, the writing needs a lot of work. Having won the Oscar
for Dances With Wolves, Dean Semler is the cinematographer which is appropriate
enough because he worked on the first two films of the Mad Max franchise.
All in all, despite the bad press, Waterworld is an enjoyable fanfare but needs to be shorter.