W List of Movie Reviews
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Wag the Dog (1997)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/03, 3/06, 3/22
3/06:
Wag the Dog was theatrically released first, and then Bill Clinton had an "aha!" moment a month later.
His scandal in regard to Monica Lewinsky was starting to break out, and to distract everybody, an Al-Shifa pharmaceutical
factory in Sudan was bombed. The same technique was repeated later when a bombing campaign of Iraq was underway during
Clinton's impeachment trial.
"Why does the dog wag its tail?
Because a dog is smarter than its tail.
If the tail were smarter, it would wag the dog."
The above for the opening scene is cute which means "to direct attention toward something less important from something else
that's more important." I've never been a fan of Barry Levinson's films because they're too Baltimore-ish for me, but
Wag the Dog is an instant political classic. Of the cast, it's Dustin Hoffman who gives a memorable performance, thus earning
himself an Oscar nomination.
All in all, Wag the Dog is ingenious.
3/22:
How can the U.S. President running for his second term avoid a scandal that's playing out in the media two weeks prior to the
election?
All he has to do is produce a war. The more unknown a country is in the place of an enemy, the better. It doesn't matter if the
war is fake. Nobody will know anyway. Straight out of the politics playbook, this is the premise for Wag the Dog, hence
the three lines:
"Why does the dog wag its tail?
Because a dog is smarter than its tail.
If the tail were smarter, it would wag the dog."
That being said, it's a brilliant movie with impeccable performances, most especially by the Oscar-nominated Dustin Hoffman
in Robert Evans-like garb. His character Stanley Motss has the best lines such as "Try making
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Three of the horsemen died two weeks before the end of principal photography. This
is nothing!" Every time a plan backfires, Motss will resort to the last three same words before figuring out a new strategy
to get back into the game.
His team has to come up with a marketing gimmick. Enter Fad King. Instead of yellow ribbons, old shoes are
thrown up in the air. To mimic the recording session of "We Are the World," Willie Nelson gets together with other all-stars
to sing something moving about what's happening in Albania. After the fake war is abruptly ended, Motss asks for a
"good old shoe song" from a 30's recording of some folk collection that'll be placed in the Library of Congress. A
video footage needs to be produced for the much-needed dramatic effect which is a poor girl carrying her white cat in a war-torn
Albanian village that's all filmed right on a Hollywood sound stage.
You'll hear "Why change horses midstream?" often. Abraham Lincoln was famous for it during his re-election which
went like this: "Never swap horses in midstream." The slogan was revived for FDR's two re-elections ('40 and '44): "Don't
swap horses in the middle of the stream."
All in all, Wag the Dog is a funny and ingenious movie, but I really wonder.
Waga jinsei saiaku no toki (1993)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Waga jinsei saiaku no toki (The Most Terrible Time in My Life) is a frustrating Japanese noir picture.
It's also billed as a comedy. Uh, what comedy? The description on the back of the VHS cover mentions the film is a
second coming of the French New Wave. The New Whaaa...? Although the cinematography is stunningly top-notch, I've become
frustrated with the meandering plot. Where's the film going? It's been one random scene after another.
Then, the story begins to clear up as the focus sheds light on the true identity of the Taiwanese assassin and his ulterior
motive. As a matter of fact, Waga jinsei saiaku no toki would've been a very good film if it took the Keyser Soze
route by placing more emphasis on the assassin and his brother while fading the detective out of the picture. That being said,
he's the most uninteresting character, and I'm surprised to learn this is the trilogy's first picture featuring him.
Really, the whole thing sucks big time. Hence, I have zero plans of watching the next two.
One reviewer mentioned the name of Mike Hammer in reference to Maiku Hama, but I had been thinking more of Michael Shayne
because he was AWFUL. On the other hand, the film runs ten minutes too long right after the brothers are killed. There's no
point in knowing the detective's feelings which is, if you ask me, contrived stuff.
All in all, "the most terrible time in my life" perfectly describes how I feel while watching Waga jinsei saiaku no toki.
Wait Until Dark (1967)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/14, 8/15
2/14:
I never heard of Wait Until Dark until spotting it in the library only because I liked the look of the DVD cover.
Initially, I had low expectations because it starred the wafer-thin Audrey Hepburn who pretended to be *eyes roll* blind. It's
one of the fewest flaws of the picture.
Right after the scene with the French girl and the old man, an awkward transition is initiated by Richard Crenna and Jack
Weston who are both terrible actors. Then, the tide begins to change when Alan Arkin makes his first appearance as the sinister Mr.
Roat.
What Alan Arkin did with his character is nothing short of brilliant. From start to finish, he dominates the film
with his combed-down hair style, shaded glasses, black clothes, exotic weapons, and smooth delivery of words. In short, Mr.
Roat is a bad motherfucker.
Moreover, Alan Arkin is responsible for creating one of the most dramatic, terrifying scenes ever in cinema history. The last
ten minutes is the definition of true terror. Never have I ever seen a film that makes the most effective use of complete
blackness in a scene. Of course, Audrey Hepburn brings out the best of her classical training by evincing the typical
dasmel-in-distress reactions, and they're effective. But still, it's Alan Arkin who steals the show.
In many ways, Wait Until Dark is a cross between Rear Window and
Dial M for Murder. As a matter of fact,
I guarantee you if there's any film Alfred Hitchcock wished that he directed, it's this one. If you told me
he actually did, I would've believed it. However, what's not surprising is the play was penned by Frederick Knott who also
wrote Dial M for Murder. Hence, there are many similarities between these two.
All in all, despite the flaws, Wait Until Dark is a thriller masterpiece, thanks to Alan Arkin's showstopping performance.
8/15:
Alan Arkin is a one bad motherfucker in Wait Until Dark.
However, I can't take Audrey Hepburn seriously as her level of terror often vacillates between believable and full-of-shit.
Still, it's the last ten minutes with Alan Arkin that saves her performance from being a total farce.
All in all, although theatrical, Wait Until Dark is the best Hitchcockian film that's not directed by the man himself.
A Walk in the Clouds (1995)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/03, 6/04, 7/21
7/21:
Here's an underrated Keanu Reeves picture: A Walk in the Clouds.
Following the same tradition of Como agua para chocolate, the cinematography
is top-notch and should've won the Oscar. Many scenes of California's Napa Valley are gorgeous. The story is also terrific with
great acting coming from everybody. There are a lot of twists and turns, especially at the end when the father's anger tragically
consumes it all.
At first, Keanu Reeves and Aitana Sánchez-Gijón don't show any chemistry, but as time passes, it becomes more evident
they're meant to be together. Hence, it didn't make sense why Paul Sutton was thinking of his wife, somebody who he barely
knew and had only met for a few days, as a matter of honor.
Then again, Keanu Reeves is an inspired casting choice because what Victoria Aragon said is true: "Paul Sutton...you're the
most honorable man I have ever known." The appearances of Giancarlo Giannini and Anthony Quinn make this one special.
They're simply perfect.
All in all, A Walk in the Clouds brings back the feel of the 30's and 40's romance films.
Walker (1987)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/21
4/21:
Set during the apogee of the Manifest Destiny, Walker exposes the hypocrisy of the Iran-Contra affair.
What's clever about the Peckinpah-esque film is the use of William Walker, a 19th-century filibuster who became a failed
ruler of Nicaragua, only to make a point of what President Reagan's men were doing in the same country during the 80's. In many
ways, Walker was bold, brave, and, most of all, misguided.
It's also more of a satire than a historical biopic. Jarring is the purposeful inclusion of anachronisms such as
helicopters, automatic rifles, Newsweek and Time magazine issues, and automobiles. By playing the "gray-eyed man of
destiny," Ed Harris turns in an outstanding performance. I'm impressed with his genuine display of ASL.
Because Walker failed badly at the box office, Alex Cox never directed a major Hollywood picture again. Having
done Repo Man and Sid and Nancy, he considers Walker to be the best of his career, and I agree with him.
The first two are mediocre while the third is both clever and unique with gorgeous cinematography.
All in all, unfairly dismissed by critics, Walker is an 80's cinematic masterpiece of satire.
Walking Tall (1973)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/23
11/23:
Walking Tall is what Joe Don Baker is famous for.
Budgeted for $500,000 before going on to gross over $40 million, the gritty B film is as redneck as it can be in the rural
setting of Tennessee. It's sometimes hard-hitting with an ugly side of violence. Buford Pusser can be labeled a hero because
he took on a dangerous job when he didn't have to. Even his wife knew what's to come.
However, the story is partly fictional. It's true that there were assassination attempts on Pusser's life and that he was shot
multiple times. His wife was killed exactly as how it happened in the film. Walking Tall came out in 1973, and the guy
himself died a year later. Nobody is sure whether he drove drunk or was assassinated.
Many acts by Buford Pusser are apparently illegal as they seem to smack more of vigilantism than law enforcement. Sure,
what he did strike a chord that grabs the people by the lapels which is fine by me. The ending is silly
because the burning question to ask is: where were these people for support the whole time?
All in all, Walking Tall highlights the best of 70's gritty realism when it comes to dishing out rural justice.
Walking Tall (2004)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/06
8/06:
Walking Tall starts out as a pleasant surprise and then falls apart around the 50th minute mark when the truck is
taken apart for drug search.
What works well is Dwayne Johnson's character trying to make things right again when he's back home after an
eight-year stint in the Army. There's an imminent return of the nostalgic feel for the 90's action pictures. But all of that is
thrown in the garbage bin, thanks to Kevin Bray's directorial ineptitude.
There's nothing wrong with Dwayne Johnson's acting. In fact, he should keep up the good work and try to find the right
part to make his mark. On the other hand, a big mistake is the casting of Johnny Knoxville who's never believable.
All in all, I hate when things are going so well only to fall apart not long afterwards, and that's what happened in
Walking Tall.
Wall Street (1987)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
6/03, 3/05, 6/06, 2/10, 5/12, 1/16, 9/19, 8/24
6/06:
One of the most underrated movies of all time, Wall Street is a true representation of what the big bucks of the 80's
were all about that still lingers today.
I have seen the film so many times that I'm surprised it's not universally regarded as a classic. Look everywhere today:
greed rules and capitalism is king. Who can ever forget the timeless performance by Michael Douglas?
The ever-quotable Gordon Gekko is my favorite character, but there are others who are equally perfect: Bud Fox, Lou Mannheim,
and Carl Fox. While Bud is obviously impressed by Gordon Gekko, the other two don't share his perspective about life because
money isn't everything. Taking shortcuts is often the quickest route to ruination. Sadly, people nowadays are obsessed with
money as if it's the answer to everything.
All in all, Wall Street is more culturally relevant today than it was in the 80's.
2/10:
Once again, Wall Street is a phenomenal film.
Michael Douglas is chilling as Gordon Gekko and steals every scene. The most famous line, which still gives me
goosebumps, is when Gordon Gekko proclaimed "greed, for lack of a better word, is good." Charles Sheen gives a more mature
performance in Wall Street than Platoon by emoting in appropriate ways. The
dealings between him and his father are nothing short of perfection.
All in all, Wall Street keeps getting better every time I see it.
5/12:
Sporting a Pat Riley hairdo, Michael Douglas, as the über famous Gordon Gekko, chews up every scene by imparting his
ever pearls of wisdom such as:
"When I get a hold of the son of a bitch who leaked this, I'm gonna tear his eyeballs out, and I'm gonna suck his fucking
skull."
"It's not a question of enough, pal. It's a zero sum game, somebody wins, somebody loses. Money itself isn't lost or made;
it's simply transferred from one perception to another."
"Mixed emotions, buddy. Like Larry Wildman going off a cliff in my new Maserati."
"That's right, you, the stockholder. And you are all being royally screwed over by these, these bureaucrats, with their
luncheons, their hunting and fishing trips, their corporate jets, and golden parachutes."
"The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed
clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for
money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind. And greed, you mark my words, will not only save Teldar
Paper, but that other malfunctioning corporation called the U.S.A. Thank you very much."
"I don't throw darts at a board. I bet on sure things. Read Sun-tzu, The Art of War. Every battle is won before it's
ever fought."
"If you need a friend, get a dog."
"The most valuable commodity I know of is information."
"You see that building? I bought that building ten years ago. My first real estate deal. Sold it two years later, made an
$800,000 profit. It was better than sex. At the time, I thought that was all the money in the world. Now, it's a day's pay."
"Ever wonder why fund managers can't beat the S&P 500? 'Cause they're sheep, and sheep get slaughtered."
"Yeah, not bad for a City College boy. I bought my way in, now all these Ivy league schmucks are sucking my kneecaps."
"It's all about bucks, kid. The rest is conversation."
"I've never seen a painting that captures the beauty of the ocean at a moment like this."
"That's the one thing you have to remember about WASPs: they love animals and hate people."
"I create nothing. I own."
"Money never sleeps, pal. Just made 800,000 in Hong Kong gold. It's been wired to you. Play with it. You've done good, but
you gotta keep doing good. I've showed you how the game works. Now, school's out."
"Lunch is for wimps."
"I look at a hundred deals a day. I pick one."
"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars,
buddy. A player. Or nothing."
"Capitalism at its finest."
Ladies and gentlemen, that's why Michael Douglas won the Oscar for Best Actor of 1988. It's simply one of the greatest
performances ever.
All in all, I bow down to Gordon Gekko because I'm not worthy.
1/16:
Michael Douglas is the greatest.
9/19:
Wall Street is among films of the decade for the 80's.
8/24:
I'm calling it now: Wall Street is the best film of the decade, and it remains relevant as ever.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/11, 12/24
5/11:
Not too bad at all.
I thought I would be disappointed by Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. Also, I was anticipating a big drop
off in the quality of the performances and the script because of what happened with
Alexander. Finally, Oliver Stone is back. The number one reason why I wanted
to see it is Michael Douglas as Gordon "Greed Is Good" Gekko.
Michael Douglas is sort of okay here. Of course, the most anticipated moment of the film is his meeting with Bud Fox
which is hysterical to watch in a nostalgic way. The only complaint I have is the poor camera work, especially when
Gordon Gekko was giving a lecture in the assembly hall. I wish they would knock off that crap. Although Shia LaBeouf
can't act, he does fairly well only because of the high-quality ensemble cast for support. The inclusion of Josh
Brolin helps, too.
All in all, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps isn't a masterpiece like its predecessor, but it holds up well
for a sequel.
12/24:
I've decided Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps sucks.
I can watch the original many times, but this one, no way. That's it for me. So, what went wrong? For starters, it's
the lousy script with zero Gekkoisms. Then, there's Shit LaBeef who's awful in acting. Ditto for Carey Mulligan who
should never, never, never appear in movies again for the rest of her life. At one point, Shit LaBeef talked
like a used car salesman, and I was rolling my eyes the whole time. Next is the letdown of Michael Douglas'
performance. He isn't even Gordon Gekko. That was just Michael Douglas being himself. Personalities never change
over time unless one has had a brain injury.
As for the story, who cares? The world didn't end back then. What happened was the whole thing began in Chicago
decades ago and, over time, the idealism of granting more equality in home ownership to black people and other
minority groups seemed so appealing to the White House that Bill Clinton decided to make it a national policy
during his two terms. The result was that those with poor credit history and nearly zero savings were approved en
masse for mortgages worth hundreds of thousands dollars. Insurance companies packaged these subprime mortgages for
sale to investors all over world. Once these new homeowners couldn't meet the payments and had to default, the
bottom started to fall out mightily. To make matters worse, the government, which approved the idea in the first
place and forced many companies to toe the line, bailed them out. The taxpayers ended up paying for it while
everybody else profited from the mess. Now, that's failed government and Wall Street at work for you.
By the way, nuclear fusion? Ha! It'll never ever happen just like quantum computing. All the billions poured into
it will be virtually wasted.
All in all, let's pretend that Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps never existed.
War Hunt (1962)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/17
6/17:
Shot in fifteen days under the budget of $250,000, War Hunt is an average war picture that features three
future Oscar-winning directors: Robert Redford, Sydney Pollack, and Francis Ford Coppola.
The first two are identifiable, making their motion picture debut, but I never saw the third one. He's supposed to
be an army truck driver. Also included are newcomers John Saxon and Tom Skerritt. The latter will have a memorable
role in M*A*S*H, a Korea War comedy classic. Playing Crotty, Gavin MacLeod is well
known as the captain in The Love Boat.
John Saxon's character is what I call a nutty guy. It's a good perspective the filmmakers bring to the table, but
that's all War Hunt has going for it. I feel like I'm Robert Redford in the movie because everywhere he
goes, he's constantly surrounded by cliques that are unlikeable for one reason or another. He tries to play nice
with them in any way as he can, but nothing works. It's more like "Shut the fuck up. Just leave things alone."
All in all, War Hunt presents a mix of well-developed and bland characters, leaning more toward the
archetypal no-can-do-wrong war pictures of the 50's than the gritty, realistic stuff that appeared during the 80's.
The War Lover (1962)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/09
3/09:
Before there was Memphis Belle, there was The War Lover.
I wish I saw the latter first because I was sensing plenty of familiarity. However, it's not to say the remake is
a bad film. Anyway, The War Lover is exciting with a great deal of intensity.
Steve McQueen's Buzz Rickson is to Tom Berenger's Sergeant Barnes as Robert Wagner's Ed Bolland is to Willem Dafoe's Sergeant
Elias. The fierce rivalry between them is captivating, easily the best part of the show. I had to guess who was
winning the race, and at the end, I think it's a tie.
While Steve McQueen is villainous and ruthless, Robert Wagner has a lot of Robert Wagner moments as evinced through his facial
expression. Shirley Anne Field is another winner as she gives a solid performance as Daphne by playing the cooler to give the
plot a much needed balance.
One major problem is the distracting editing. There are awkward transitions. Also, the aerial fighting scenes are sometimes
poor and smacks too much of actual WWII archive footage. Perhaps the worst of all is the scenes at King's College where Robert
Wagner and Shirley Anne Field stood in front of the university which looks fake.
All in all, I chalk up The War Lover among the best hits of Steve McQueen's and Robert Wagner's careers.
War of the Colossal Beast (1958)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
War of the Colossal Beast...talk about boring.
To keep myself from falling asleep, I wisely spent my time spotting many logic problems:
One, if the beast ended up in Mexico, then surely somebody would've seen him along the way.
Two, due to the beast walking over to Mexico from Las Vegas or Hoover Dam (I guess), there should be giant footprints
everywhere, but only one is shown.
Three, when a footprint is revealed near the mud lake where the boy crashed his truck, it resembles more of an animal. I mean,
why couldn't the producers get an artist to make it look more real?
Four, the beast is proportionally wrong many times, being either bigger or smaller when compared to other objects.
Five, why doesn't the military kill the beast to save everybody the trouble?
Six, if the military will not do it, then why lure the beast to the city? They've endangered the lives of million people by
doing so.
Seven, why not build a hanger in the middle of a desert in Arizona and place the beast there?
Eight, the morons have decided that rope is sufficient to hold down the beast when metal chains will do a better job.
Nine, I'm sure the shackled-down beast will produce a foul stench within hours by peeing and crapping on himself.
Ten, are there no food rations for the beast? He's a human being, for Pete's sake.
Eleven, the soldiers have been shooting at the beast with bullets that are at best half of an inch wide. How about 10-inch
mortar shells? 15-inch? 20-inch?
Twelve, why flash the searchlights on the beast's eyes while he's holding the bus that's loaded with children hundreds of
feet above the ground?
Thirteen, I think that's what Nigel Tufnel meant when people like the beast disappear in a spontaneous combustion.
Fourteen, it's interesting to notice the clothes growing in size to fit the beast.
All in all, War of the Colossal Beast is full of faulty logic.
The War of the Roses (1989)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
5/04, 1/06, 7/11, 3/21
1/06:
The War of the Roses features an all-out war between husband and wife that's unlike anything else.
Denny DeVito, who's also the director, serves as the narrator and tells how marriage can be hell for some couples and
they should learn how to walk away when the going gets tough before it's too late. His film is a reminder of the numerous
bitter aristocratic family feuds that raged throughout many centuries, most especially between the houses of
Lancaster and Tudor.
Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner give a fight that's for all-time, and they're fun to watch. The ending is spectacular
and shocking. Also, I love the cinematography with many beautiful scenes. The "woof" expression of Kathleen Turner is
deliciously biting.
All in all, Danny DeVito scores a winner in The War of the Roses.
7/11:
To revisit The War of the Roses is to watch the famous nasty fight between Barbara and Oliver Rose.
Although both of them lose, Danny DeVito is the winner by doing nothing. My favorite lines are from his character: "My fee is
$450 an hour. When a man who makes $450 an hour wants to tell you something for free, you should listen" and "Oliver, there's
no winning in this. There's only degrees of losing."
All in all, I'll never get tired of watching The War of the Roses.
3/21:
Yeah, The War of the Roses...it's a great film.
This is Danny DeVito at his underrated best. What a story he tells. The movie goes quickly with plenty of layers to unpeel,
thanks to DeVito's fantastic narration. He has two impressionable lines: "My fee is $450 an hour. When a man who makes $450 an
hour wants to tell you something for free, you should listen" and "Oliver, there's no winning in this. There's only degrees of
losing."
The main show is the ugly fight between Michael Douglas' and Kathleen Turner's characters. It's the best romantic
antiromance in film history. To take sides is impossible because they've been wrong for each other from the get-go. The
lesson is this: forget about the material possessions and just walk away.
All in all, The War of the Roses is a classic.
Warm Summer Rain (1989)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
12/21
12/21:
I decided to watch Warm Summer Rain for Kelly Lynch of Top Gun and
Witness fame, and the DVD cover seemed interesting.
While waiting for the actress to show up for the longest time, I correctly guessed the tanned lead star must
be Kelly Lynch after all and had to look up the internet to find out I got the name wrong: Kelly McGillis. I
vaguely remember the former as the doctor in Road House with Patrick
Swayze. After completing Warm Summer Rain, I can see why she disappeared from the map.
A Paris, Texas wannabe, it's nothing but a low-budget acting workshop for
two people who desperately needed it: Kelly Lynch and Barry Tubb. Who wants to watch two people stuck in a
room feeling themselves out and pretending to inject a lot of emotion behind their artificial dialogue? They're
often naked but have no chemistry and fail to connect on every level imaginable.
All in all, acting workshops don't belong in movies.
Warning Shot (1967)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/21
11/21:
The Fugitive's David Janssen finds himself in another fix for Warning Shot.
Although the movie may be old, the mystery is at once intriguing and relevant in this day and age. Plenty of
police officers had been arrested for shooting deaths, and because of the widespread use of video technology,
some of them were found guilty of their actions. At the same time, there's a lot of neo-noir going on.
For Sergeant Tom Valens, it's obvious the deceased was in the wrong. He was ordered to freeze but ran away and
then, in the heat of the moment, pulled something out (which was actually a gun but a rubbery one at that) from
inside his jacket. While the mystery was afoot, I made a guess that the gun had to be made of drugs due
to being dissolved in the pool (think of Traffic), but after the revelation was
made, I came close to being correct.
The cast is somewhat all-star in name, but most of them are forgotten. Although difficult to recognize, Carroll
O'Connor plays the judge. Ed Begley is Valens' boss while Joan Collins has the part of estranged wife. A silent
film legend of her time, Lillian Gish plays the foolish old maid. George Sanders is Calvin York at the brokerage
firm, and Steve Allen stars as the odious TV gossipmonger. The deceased's wife is Eleanor Parker. There's the
appearance of Jerry Dunphy, the famed Los Angeles news anchor. Sam Wanamaker, Walter Pidgeon, Stefanie Powers,
and George Grizzard, among others, round out the rest.
All in all, Warning Shot comes through well for a dated policier.
The Warriors (1979)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
The Warriors is a lame-o picture.
At the beginning, gangs congregate to hear a pep-talk from their universal leader. Two things came to my mind what the movie
might be all about. Unfortunately, neither of them happens. Instead, it's about silly boys who are on the run and getting into
fights while going home, and that's pretty much it.
I thought the movie was going to be an all-out gang war, but nah. Also, I thought the gangs were going to take over New York
City, but nah. Luckily, Escape from New York got made. Now, that's the one I can watch.
All in all, it's obvious Walter Hill didn't know what the hell he was doing.
Wassup Rockers (2005)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/21
7/21:
There have been so many films about characters experiencing a series of misadventures during the 80's with
After Hours being the best example that I didn't think the genre had any gas
left.
Then, Larry Clark comes along to reinvent the wheel, and the result is Wassup Rockers. Of course, this is
Larry Clark we're talking about, and I braced myself for any disturbing content. Fortunately, there's not much
of it although a couple of shocking moments do occur.
What I like is it's the first time ever a group of Guatemalan and Salvadoran teenagers with no acting credentials
are cast in a leading role for an American picture. At first, I thought Wassup Rockers was going to suck,
but in time, it became interesting. The naturalistic acting is accurate in terms of how
the out-of-it teenagers behaved back then and still do today.
There's an examination of the clash between the haves and the have-nots when it comes to race, class, and culture.
It reminds me of the mods-rockers battle in Quadrophenia. The poor kids
don't seem to notice the subtle differences, but they'll suffer the consequences for their missteps. A couple
of them are cute-looking enough to pass for models, but they end up being used by rich white people as sex toys.
All in all, Larry Clark continues to be a great representative of juvenile delinquents in cinema.
The Watcher (2000)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/02, 3/04, 3/17
3/17:
Keanu Reeves plays a serial killer?
Whoa! Sign me up. And what a hard thing to believe. James Spader and Marisa Tomei are in this, too. Yummy.
Unfortunately, The Watcher is so mediocre and tired that there's nothing new to uncover. It's basically
Manhunter meets The Fugitive.
Of the three thespians, James Spader, as Joel Campbell, stands out and is the only one who has the most developed
character. I wish I can say the same for Keanu Reeves who has disowned the film ever since after being initially
tricked into it. I only wanted to know more about his character's background. However, his long black hair looks
great, that's it.
Speaking of Keanu Reeves' hair, which is impossible to miss, doesn't Joel have a good start of what the serial
killer looks like? And he's white? I mean, check out the videotapes from the mall security system, especially
when he's at the camera shop. Then, release a picture of him citywide, so he can be quickly apprehended just
like how the Night Stalker was. Come on, this is Police Work 101. Wake the hell up, people.
All in all, despite the interesting cast, The Watcher is disappointing.
Watchers (1988)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/21
8/21:
Sometimes, a film can be saved by just one actor, and it's Corey Haim for Watchers.
I had been thinking why it happened this way, and the answer is: his magnetic personality. At the beginning,
the story is hard to follow, but after sticking with it to the end and then going back to the beginning for
the chat between the NSO agent (Michael Ironside) and his superior, what they were talking about suddenly
makes sense.
Granted, it's a run-of-the-mill horror picture that features a bigfoot monster (OXCOM) chasing after a dog
while killing many people along the way. This may not be clearly understood at first, but the purpose of the
dog is to be friendly with the intended people so they'll adopt him.
Then, the OXCOM goes after the people, killing them all and also the dog; at least, that's the theory, but
once the dog is dead, the mission is over, regardless whether the people live or die, hence the failure of the
experiment. After the lab bombing, the leftovers are an OXCOM and a dog that sets up the main premise. I'm not
sure if the NSO agent was the third experimental unit, but I think he was kidding.
Well, Watchers isn't consistently good; most of the same action can be found in plenty of B flicks.
Surprisingly, Corey Haim rises above it and gives a decent performance, making me care about what happens to
his character and the dog he befriends. Michael Ironside of Scanners fame
plays a familiar villain and thus does well again.
Because the film is an all-Canadian production, it's natural enough to cast two native-born actors:
Corey Haim and Jason Priestley whose face is shown for the first time compared to
The Boy Who Could Fly. Who would've guessed in two years the
latter achieved fame as Brandon Walsh in Beverly Hills, 90210 while the former completely fell apart?
All in all, Corey Haim was nearing the end of his usefulness before the 80's had become the 90's, and
Watchers is the last film to showcase his natural talent.
Watchers II (1990)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/21
11/21:
I gave Watchers a favorable review because of Corey Haim's magnetic
personality, but after his disappearance, this remake has virtually nothing to offer.
Instead, it's Marc Singer who tries to pick up the pieces and work with them but fails to be
entertaining at the least. The action is dull, often putting me to sleep. It's only the Black Creature from
the Lagoon going after the golden retriever. Did they use Glad trash bags for the monster?
I say Watchers II is a remake, not a sequel, because the story is basically the same; only this time,
the word OXCOM is removed. In fact, the second part will be confusing to the first-time viewers because
what's happening was clearly explained in the original.
All in all, there's no point to make a sequel if it will be Watchers
all over again and Corey Haim isn't in it.
Waterloo (1970)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/11
9/11:
What a disaster Waterloo is.
When I was in middle school, we always had a social studies fair at the end of the year. Many male students took the shortcut
of doing a military project by creating a verdant landscape, placing miniature soldiers on it, and calling the final product a
battle of something despite not knowing the history behind it.
Well...that's exactly what the film feels like. Believe me, I'm no student of French history nor do I care about it although
I know Waterloo was the final battle of Napoleon's military career. However, it was so long ago that nobody cares
today.
The biggest mistake is Waterloo is so busy that I don't have the foggiest idea what the point of the battle is or
what the circumstances are. I'm just resorted to the spectacular display of costumes, battle formations, and
anything French. Make no mistake about it: the battle scenes are sometimes the best parts. I've never seen a formation
of troops as shown in the film when the cavalry was riding around in a circle.
For a while, I've been confused by who the character Christopher Plummer is supposed to be and whether or not he's on
the same side as the French. As a great actor as Rod Steiger is, he's unremarkable as Napoleon. Orson Welles, my, my...he
sure has gained lots of weight, making an unnecessary cameo for only five minutes. You were once great, Orson.
The worst part of all is Wellington saying a one-liner and then I'm taken to the battle before Napoleon has a
one-liner or two. Again, it's back to the battle. Then, Wellington with more one-liners. Back to the battle, and then to
Napoleon with some more one-liners. It'll go on for approximately forty-five minutes which is crazy.
All in all, it's comical to know history does repeat because Waterloo was a massive box-office failure just like
the outcome of Napoleon's last famous battle, causing Stanley Kubrick to abandon his plans for it by going with
Barry Lyndon.
Waterworld (1995)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
9/04, 6/17, 12/21
6/17:
Waterworld starts off by showing Earth as I know it now before it's covered with water due to the melted polar ice caps
which isn't possible at all.
Then, the screen pans down to the Mariner who's urinating in some plastic jar and pours it in a filter machine before drinking
it. I bet your piss tastes great, eh Kev? Now, I get how this is related to the movie's tagline: "Beyond the horizon lies the
secret to a new beginning." That's all the people could talk about when the movie was theatrically released in 1995.
It's a fascinating topic if the world was suddenly out of freshwater. Unfortunately, nobody can drink his own urine, purified
or not, because it's impossible to remove the salt which causes dehydration. Honestly, Waterworld never got over it,
leading to many negative reviews. I'll give Kevin Costner a pass because his character is supposed to be part human and part
fish. Then again, tropical fish can tolerate saltwater, right?
What I like is the premise. It's a technical achievement, the first for a film that takes place on water, which is the
reason why so much money went into the budget, becoming hitherto the most expensive ever just to make the ideas happen.
People thought, because of Waterworld's failure, Titanic was going to be the
Heaven's Gate of the 90's. But they all turned out to be dead wrong when James Cameron's
epic romance-disaster celluloid proved to be a huge success, breaking box-office records and becoming the highest-grossing
film of all time before inflation.
Waterworld is basically Mad Max on sea which is the best part. There's a lot of action,
and it's impossible to be bored. There are also funny parts. Disappointingly, Jeanne Tripplehorn and Tina
Majorino get in the way too much, leading to the wreckage of the Mariner's ultracool retro trimaran. I thought he should've
dumped them in the ocean to save himself the grief.
Another trouble is the premise that invites many questions such as: How do these people, however many of them there are,
survive? Are there enough water and food? How can these people look so good and healthy? Where did they get the alcoholic
drinks and cigarettes? Did they raise tobacco somewhere? Are there others just like the Mariner? How can he go miles deep
underwater and not suffer from pressure and the bends? The same goes for the woman, too. Where are the fish and birds?
Kevin Costner is perfect as the Mariner, and he's a lot of fun to watch. Dennis Hopper is great as his nemesis, but there's
little of him and he has a weak death scene. By the way, did you ever wonder about the picture of a guy named Joseph
Hazelwood? He's the captain who crashed the Exxon Valdez, causing it to discharge million gallons of oil into Prince
William Sound which is near Alaska. He was probably drunk when it happened, hence the Smokers' alcohol references.
All in all, the oceanic action is what makes Waterworld memorable, but the plot needs a lot of work; as a
matter of fact, the script underwent thirty-six drafts by six different writers.
12/21:
Upgrading my rating of '6' to '7', Waterworld still holds up well as a great wet actioner in the vein of
The Road Warrior and
Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.
The only main negative is it's too long. The middle needs to be re-edited. There's no point for
the Mariner to have the woman and girl aboard; they were liabilities the entire time with nothing to offer. As a result, his
awesome-looking trimaran got shipwrecked.
Interestingly enough, a lot of Kevin Costner's acrobatic stunts seem to be a transfer from
Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
At any rate, he's entertaining to watch. So is Dennis Hopper. However, the writing needs a lot of work. Having won the Oscar
for Dances With Wolves, Dean Semler is the cinematographer which is appropriate
enough because he worked on the first two films of the Mad Max franchise.
All in all, despite the bad press, Waterworld is an enjoyable fanfare but needs to be shorter.
Waxwork (1988)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
1/06
1/06:
Waxwork has an interesting concept, but the movie never seems to be all put together.
It initially has a nice cult feel, but then afterwards, the camp goes away as soon as the holograms start. Not that I think
they ruin the film, but the effect of them should be emphasized more.
Although cheesy with traces of B-film quality, Waxwork has left me entertained because it's not meant to be serious.
Anyway, the acting isn't bad. I'll like to know the names of eighteen most evil men who have ever lived.
All in all, Waxwork feels like an uneven jigsaw puzzle that needs to be smoothed out more.
Waxwork II: Lost in Time (1992)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/06
1/06:
Waxwork II: Lost in Time is an awful film.
The plot is too nonsensical to deal with. It's also littered with poor acting. Anthony Hickox's dumb direction leaves me in
disbelief.
After the original saw dismal box-office returns, why did the company decide to make a sequel? I guess they must love losing
money. Anyway, it's a cool-looking poster right there.
All in all, Waxwork II: Lost in Time is one of the worst movies ever made.
Way Past Cool (2000)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/24
2/24:
"...and you thought Boyz n the Hood was powerful."
Yeah, that sold me, but no...Way Past Cool isn't so. It's a laughable movie: kids trying too hard to be adults which is
akin to high schoolers performing in a Shakespeare play. Oil and water...it just doesn't work. Making references to
The Little Rascals plenty of times is annoying because I could've figured it out on my own.
The first half-hour is fine, causing me to say this is unique and on the same level as Larry Clark's stuff. Afterwards, it loses
me for good because of how stagy the dialogue has been. It turns out 95% of the film is theatrical with fake violence.
However, I can see the authenticity. Why Boyz n the Hood worked is it was real and had
great characters and dramatic scenes. Unfortunately, Way Past Cool has none of them. When Lyon died, I didn't know who
he was. Everybody is unlikeable, and I didn't care what happened to them next. For the message to work, Way Past Cool
has to be edgier; hence, City of God got noticed when it came out two years later.
All in all, Way Past Cool is no Boyz n the Hood.
The Way We Were (1973)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/23
9/23:
The major selling point of The Way We Were is the pairing of Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand.
Otherwise, there isn't anything noteworthy. The dialogue is awful that becomes increasingly worse during the second
half. The scenes are random, none of the secondary characters is fully developed, and there's no plot in sight. Instead, the
audience is kept busy by Redford's blond hair and Streisand's sparkling eyes despite their lack of chemistry. Well, it worked;
they got fooled while Hollywood raked in big bucks.
Robert Redford is okay, but it's a shallow part for him. He'll do a better job in
The Great Gatsby.
Obviously, Barbra Streisand signed on so she could kiss him and play with his hair. Her character Katie is easy to hate and
then impossible to stand. Raping Hubbell when he's unconscious and drunk, she smokes and drinks while pregnant.
There's a good chance her kid will be fucked up. All of a sudden, Hubbell isn't interested in sticking around for his
daughter. What a douchebag.
Hubbell was ready to break up with Katie halfway but let it go. That's when I knew I was in trouble with one more hour left.
Of course, they did it only because they had nothing in common. No matter how much time has
passed, nobody ages the least bit. For a while, I didn't know who J.J. was. Ditto for my failure to understand the jumps
from college to WWII service to the beach to Hollywood to the House Un-American Activities Committee.
All in all, don't be fooled by the massive star power Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand bring to the table because
The Way We Were is a bad movie.
Wayne's World (1992)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/04, 4/06
4/06:
Michael Myers has never been a funny guy.
He's plain weird and is rumored to be an all-time asshole. That's why his career going down in the flames wasn't a surprise.
Now, I won't go so far as to call Wayne's World a comedy. It's about two heavy metal rock enthusiasts who live
their lives like losers and can't get jobs for obvious reasons. I'll be hard pressed to believe Wayne is capable of
scoring a pretty Cantonese gal like Tia Carrere who incidentally can't act worth a damn.
The film does have a few good moments such as wanting to play Stairway to Heaven, the Scooby-Doo revelation, and
Delaware (um, hi?) which is exactly my sentiment when I think of the state that's nothing but a quick 15-minute drive through
I-95. Of all lame characters who come and go, Garth Algar is the worst as I find him as a fucking mindless idiot.
All in all, the irony of Wayne's World is I was getting the Delaware feeling while watching it.
Wayne's World 2 (1993)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/06
4/06:
Why did they have to make Wayne's World 2?
Is the mass appeal so great to merit a sequel about the two rooster-looking characters? Once again, they try to come alive with
many jokes that are flatter than a pancake.
The only reason why it's not in my Worst Films list is the pairing of Christopher Walken and Tia Carrere. They also
look great together. In fact, I support them getting hitched at the end despite spending little time with each other.
Because it has numerous false endings, I prefer the one with Wayne and Garth being spontaneously blown up in a
Spinal Tap fashion with everybody else living happily forever and ever.
All in all, Wayne's World 2 is garbage.
We Own the Night (2007)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/08, 2/25
3/08:
The slick-looking movie poster of We Own the Night influenced me to see it.
Afterwards, I've come away feeling pretty good. A huge sigh of relief is that it's old-school with no CGI crap.
This one has straightforward acting, old-fashioned storytelling, simple camerawork, and an in-depth plot.
I generally don't think much of Joaquin Phoenix's thespic abilities, but here, he may have turned a new leaf. As a
matter of fact, it's his original professional name: Leaf Phoenix. Robert Duvall as part of the cast is a bonus. Mark
Wahlberg gives a much better performance than The Departed. Eva Mendes isn't bad, too.
We Own the Night is a cross between Cop Land and
The Departed, so lots of credit go to James Gray for his
fantastic direction while keeping the traditional cinematic elements intact. Thinking of how the film can be improved,
shooting it in black and white might have been beneficial.
All in all, We Own the Night appears to be among the last of decent Hollywood pictures.
2/25:
We Own the Night hasn't aged well, earning a weak rating of '6' from me.
The biggest issue is unevenness. It takes a good forty minutes before the story gets anywhere.
By the time it does, the momentum doesn't last long, and it's back to the same slow buildup. In many ways, I feel
like director James Gray is obsessed in exploring Little Odessa again
because of the Russia mafia angle and the family stuff. How the car chase was done sucks; I couldn't see much.
There are some things that I don't understand. Why were Marat Buzhayev and his wife invited to
Deputy Chief Grusinsky's funeral? And why did Bobby bother showing up at El Caribe afterwards? That's when he could've
had himself killed just as easily. I knew that seeing Jumbo again was a bad idea the whole
time. Why did Bobby go to the middle of the field at the end? All he had to do was wait for Vadim to come out.
And no helicopter to sight him?
Joaquin Phoenix is okay, but I wondered how he got the scar on his upper lip which turns out that he was born with
a microform cleft. To continue working with him and James Gray from
The Yards, Mark Wahlberg
is no actor. Ditto for Eva Mendes who's more of eye candy than anything else. Robert Duvall is Robert Duvall.
All in all, ultimately too long, We Own the Night fails to make me care about the characters.
We Were Soldiers (2002)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
I would like to think the filmmakers of We Were Soldiers had good intentions, but it ultimately became
warploitation.
It's also poorly put together. I don't see what the first 45 minutes have to do with the next 90 minutes.
Remember in Platoon Oliver Stone gave a bit of narration about the background?
That's sufficient in understanding how some of the men got to this point. But why do I have to see these women
getting together to have a chitchat? No, no, no...cut them all out.
Then, there's the battle that happened for real in Ia Drang Valley, South Vietnam, although the whole thing
was obviously shot in California. I'm impressed with the realism that's reminiscent of
Braveheart. However, it feels like an excuse to make
We Were Soldiers since the battle just goes on and on. At the same time, I thought how futile it was.
Many war pictures have already conveyed the same message since
All Quiet on the Western Front.
The cast is fine. I have no issues with anybody's performance. But the sight of invincible Saint Mel Gibson's
homecoming to his family is quite insulting given the high number of his men had died around him for pointless
reasons. That should've been completely dropped. By the way, what the hell happened to Madeleine Stowe's face,
especially the puffy lips? It's like she went full-blown Angelina Jolie.
All in all, despite scoring a lot of points in the reality of infantry combat, We Were Soldiers feels
like another war picture.
Weapons of Mass Distraction (1997)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/24
7/24:
Weapons of Mass Distraction isn't my kind of movie, but it doesn't mean it's bad.
Showing a lot of feel from Barbarians at the Gate which was made
by the same company, HBO, four years earlier, there's a lot of business talk that's hard to follow. I tried to
make sense of what the characters were saying but couldn't understand some of it. In regard to the aforementioned
film, it turns out that I was correct because Larry Gelbart adapted the screenplay from the famous business book.
Nevertheless, the concept is interesting and probably true of these soulless high-powered business elites nowadays
who have too much money. I can see why the inclusion when it comes to the average Joe and his wife who have been
affected by all of this. What threw me off completely is that Gabriel Byrne's character didn't know his wife
was a he, but I don't think it should be that hard to figure out, right? Anyway, the performances are fine, and
everybody is well-cast.
All in all, I'll need to see Weapons of Mass Distraction again to understand the dialogue more.
Wedding Crashers (2005)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/06
4/06:
Wedding Crashers was sitting on a goldmine before it started to fall apart.
There are some hilarious moments despite the monotony, terrible plot, and horrible performance by Owen Wilson.
Speaking of him, I happen to notice how crooked his nose is. Well, he must be the son of a witch.
Many times, Wedding Crashers walks a thin line between perverted and morbid. There's a girl who's a blow
job addict, and hence, Vince Vaughn's character is in heaven. On the other hand, the ending is pretty much a rip-off of
The Graduate. Oddly enough, the same thing was done in
Wayne's World 2 which starred Christopher Walken.
All in all, I'll like to see the two wedding crashers tortured instead of Wedding Crashers.
The Wedding Date (2005)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
It took guts to see The Wedding Date because I knew what to expect.
Nothing happens, and certainly, I'm reminded of one or two Hugh Grant films that touched the same theme.
Worst of all, I fail to generate interest in the relationship between Kat and Nick.
Meanwhile, the characters are stilted, pretentious, and uncreative. If the movie was made in the early 80's,
American Gigolo's Richard Gere and Lauren Hutton would've been perfect for the lead roles.
Whenever I see Dermot Mulroney, all I can think of is "bland." If his face droops any more, it'll be
melted like an ice cube on blacktop roof. Debra Messing is ugly and should've competed against Lindsey Lohan in The Ugliest
Female Actress contest. According to IMDb, the filmmakers made sure the flowers were artificial as much as possible due
to her allergic reaction to real ones. I have a better idea: how about getting somebody else?
All in all, The Wedding Date is every heterosexual guy's worst nightmare.
Wee Wee Monsieur (1938)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
There's no wee wee comedy in Wee Wee Monsieur.
All in all, please throw in a wee wee dose of real jokes for Wee Wee Monsieur, so I can laugh for once.
Weekend at Bernie's (1989)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/05, 1/24
1/24:
Weekend at Bernie's was popular back then, enough to become a catchphrase.
The film was okay but mostly unfunny when I initially saw it, and my sentiment has stayed the same to this day. Terry Kiser
will always be famous as Bernie, but Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are horrible actors, hence their predictable
disappearance afterwards. The first half wasn't working well, but they finally hit their stride during the
second which ultimately saved the movie.
Of course, if I think about the concept deeply, it'll never work in real life. For starters, rigor mortis sets in
approximately two hours after death, and the body will be totally inflexible in another six to ten hours. Bernie, who's
deceased for the first 24 hours, had shown none of that. As everybody knows from experience with animals, it's impossible to
escape the unmistakable odor of a carcass. At the same time, the color of facial skin will start disappearing as it'll
become white. Now, I wonder how Tina wasn't able to sense it when she had sex with him while he's dead. Gee...talk
about a necrophiliac.
All in all, if you hated The Trouble with Harry and want to look for something
better, Weekend at Bernie's will do.
Weekend at Bernie's II (1993)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/24
1/24:
They made a sequel to Weekend at Bernie's?!?
Um, why? By now, the guy is supposed to be ghastly white, rotting, and too far gone to be presentable. Now, I'm confused.
Why reuse the title when the movie never takes place at Bernie's house but in St. Thomas, Virgin Islands? The story is so
stupid that I should be learning voodoo magic instead.
If there's a perfect time to kill off Andrew McCarthy's career, this is it. The guy cannot act. Ditto for Jonathan
Silverman. They'll never do anything notable again. Whoever did the makeup job on them should be fired; anyone can
spot the fake tan from a mile away. Stuffing Bernie in the luggage and then the mini fridge? Yeah, okay...*eyes roll*
All in all, burying Bernie Lomax instead of making a sequel would've been a proper thing to do.
We're No Angels (1989)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/11
5/11:
There's nothing more fun than seeing Sean Penn make a gigantic fool out of himself in a film, so I can mock him as
one of the most overrated actors alive.
That's what happened in We're No Angels. While Sean Penn is hamming it up like an idiot, Robert De Niro makes a painful
attempt at comedy by letting his faces do the work for him as if he's Curly of the Three Stooges. More often than not, he
looks like a stupid monkey.
To top them in the worst acting department is Demi Moore who reaches the zenith of corniness when she begins to cry during
the ridiculous speech after hearing of the lottery result. Moreover, she doesn't bother using American Sign Language with
her deaf daughter. I guess she thinks her breasts will more than make up for her shortcoming. Sure, the movie is funny
once in a while mostly because of Robert De Niro, causing me to laugh out of pity. To list the reasons of why there's no
logic whatsoever, they're as follows:
First of all, I'm not made aware of the crimes Ned and Jimmy had committed prior to their incarceration. What if they're
murderers and/or rapists?
Second, if Robert De Niro and Sean Penn were replaced with a couple of nobodies, would I be rooting for them? Obviously not.
Hence, there's too much manipulation at play.
Third, just because they might escape to Canada doesn't mean their extradition will be impossible.
Fourth, the 1930's wasn't the age of backwardness when it came to photography and newspaper journalism. Surely, there would be clear
pictures of the escaped convicts in the papers, alerting the citizens if they had seen them yet.
Fifth, remember the scene when Bobby was ready to be electrocuted? To get away with suspension of disbelief, Neil Jordan lets
him have a gun by turning off the lights for a second or two. Yeah, that's a great piece of directing...not.
Sixth, nobody from the penal institution is able to recognize Ned and Jimmy while they're in town? Yeah, right.
All in all, We're No Actors is more like it.
West Side Story (1961)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/17
3/17:
West Side Story claims to be about overcoming racism yet is full of racism.
What a ridiculous twist of irony. It's impossible for me to overlook the brownfaced Sharks as Puerto Ricans. The goal is to have
everybody with the same tone of color so I'll be able to differentiate them from the Jets. However, nearly everybody is
either white, Filipino, or Greek. Only one, Rita Moreno, is an actual Puerto Rican, but her skin
color wasn't deemed good enough. Thus, she was forced to look darker.
Oh, the cinematography is so beautiful that the heavy makeup job on the faces of many thespians is prominent. Just take a good
look at Rita Moreno, and it becomes plain and clear. She claimed to be the pride and soul of her heritage but would
sell out just for that breakthrough role which saw her win an Oscar for best supporting role. I guess nothing is
impossible in Hollywood after all.
On the other hand, the musical isn't good. There are many bland songs, and they come out of nowhere when I least expect
them. So is the dancing. Were the thespians trying out for the Russian Ballet Company or what? The movie runs too long
when ninety minutes should suffice.
Notice the huge disparity in attention between the Jets and the Sharks. The white kids have maybe 90% of the screen time while
it's 10% for the fake Puerto Ricans. It's amazing how the latter group isn't made to matter in the grand scheme of things.
Actually, most of the 10% is for Natalie Wood, who happens to be white, with little that's left over for Rita Moreno who had
this to say about her co-star:
"It was uncomfortable for Hispanics to see Natalie Wood play Maria, especially because we'd heard that Natalie hadn't wanted
the part, but had been so prevailed upon to take it that she couldn't refuse. Also, that Natalie seemed 'uncomfortable' with
the group of dancers, who were largely Hispanic. This might explain her nonengaging demeanor with us 'Gypsies' throughout the
shoot. It might have been helpful had we been able to bond with Natalie, but she kept her distance."
Natalie Wood didn't really want Richard Beymer to play Tony. She preferred her fuckmate, Warren Beatty, over him and tried to have
the other guy kicked off the show several times. Overall, they didn't get along during the filming, making their lack of
chemistry obvious. At the same time, the fake Puerto Ricans are shown to be treated terribly by their white counterparts. As
a result, how can the real Puerto Rican viewers stomach it and still enjoy the musical?
I didn't learn any lesson from West Side Story; it's just another modern but poor interpretation of
Romeo and Juliet. However, the cinematography is good, being the highlight of the show. Only if the Sharks could be filled
with real Puerto Rican actors, perhaps the musical would come off better and more authentic. Yet it lacks star power from either
Tony or Riff to give the show a bigger oomph. That's why John Travolta keeps coming to my mind because of
Grease. As a matter of fact, Elvis Presley was offered to play Tony, but his manager said no.
Meanwhile, the gang violence fails to interest me. When the words "Jets" and "Sharks" were mentioned, I half-expected a
hockey game to break out. Plus, the near-rape scene is unnecessary, making the Puerto Ricans look worse in a
helpless manner.
All in all, to love West Side Story is to be selectively blind to racism.
Westworld (1973)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/17
3/17:
Before there was Jurassic Park, there was Westworld, and before there was
Arnold, there was Yul as the Terminator.
Yul Brynner is back as Chris Adams from The Magnificent Seven, but this time, he's
a robot. He moves, talks, and acts like one. Although not having much of screen time, he dominates the show which is why
I wanted to see Westworld in the first place.
To understand Yul Brynner's influence upon others, here's a movie trivia from IMDb: "Director John Carpenter based the
'indestructable' nature of his killer Michael Myers in Halloween on Yul Brynner's character
in this film. Similarly, Arnold Schwarzenegger used Brynner's performance as the basis of his performance in
The Terminator."
Although the premise is neat and interesting, the execution is poor, and the weak, meandering script is one-dimensional and thus
technical for my liking. The film keeps going back and forth between Medievalworld and Westworld. Romanworld is
hardly touched, causing a severe imbalance in the grand scheme of things.
The main characters, Peter Martin and John Blane, are sufficiently developed, but who are the others partaking of the
Medievalworld? The concept of machines malfunctioning and operating on their own had already been covered in
2001: A Space Odyssey. Even more disturbing is the idea of robot-prostitutes. Do
the characters realize what they are? And they're cold-blooded?
How is it possible drinking water causes a robot to short–circuit but not whiskey? If guns cannot be used on human beings
because of their body temperature, then how are they going to be okay against swords and maces? How about the falling rocks and
other objects? Are they technically programmed, too? Given the scant number of guests in the amusement park and the amount of
physical destruction, how will the company have the money to keep up with the maintenance and size of the workforce? It all seems
to be financially unfeasible.
All in all, Westworld is a poorly-directed sci-fi Western flick with lots of logic problems and a somewhat disappointing
performance by Yul Brynner.
What About Bob? (1991)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/14
10/14:
Here's something for Leo to consider: if he kills Bob and is therefore sent to prison for life, then that means Bob won,
hm yes?
Anyway, I feel for Leo because I also find Bob so annoying like how the nose needs to be scratched yet my hands are
all tied up. What bothers me is the manipulation that allows the characters to feel, think, and do as they please.
So, I don't buy it for one second the wife isn't in tune with her husband's feelings and temperament around certain people.
Also, at first, Bob is painted as the villain, and Leo is the willing helper. Then, the table are turned on them as
Bob becomes the nice guy and Leo is the bad guy. It's sickening.
Anyway, the important interview? It's horrible and unsubstantial. Funny? It is at times but mostly occurs when Richard Dreyfuss'
character loses his mind and yells at Bob. I wondered if that was for real. As a matter of fact, according to Richard Dreyfuss,
both of them didn't get along during the filming. Bill Murray? Let's say I like him, but his character is annoying as hell.
All in all, I'm not sure what the filmmakers meant by the question: What About Bob?
What Ever Happened
to Baby Jane? (1962)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/05, 12/13
5/05:
What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? is a classic movie about psychosis.
Bette Davis is haunting and chilling in her portrayal of Baby Jane Hudson. Joan Crawford shines as her sister Blanche. However,
the pace is torturous, and there are several logic flaws.
For instance, why couldn't Blanche call out to her female neighbor or drop objects from the window to signal for help? And why
didn't she try to sneak out in the middle of the night to call the cops? Why a doctor? Sure, the bedroom door was locked, but
it didn't appear so from the beginning.
I wish I was offered more insights into what happened to Baby Jane and what caused her decline by being
shown a panorama of events, but the filmmakers prefer to hide it just to keep me guessing.
All in all, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? is a nice suspense movie.
12/13:
Here is an important question: What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?
And my answer is: who the hell cares? It's a two-hour long film about a failed child actress. Of course, there are a litany of
them in real life, so once again, why should I care? Andy Warhol once said, "Everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes," and
all of that time had already been used up by these failed real-life child stars a long, long time ago.
All in all, I shudder when I think of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? as it's a rip-off of
Sunset Boulevard.
What Planet Are You From? (2000)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/24
9/24:
Imagine my surprise when I saw Garry Shandling's face on the DVD cover of What Planet Are You From?
He's famous for a TV sitcom called The Larry Sanders Show
that ran on HBO for six years during the 90's. Oddly enough, there was an episode about Larry working on a screenplay,
and that one could be for this. In fact, it's exactly what Garry Shandling did while doing
The Larry Sanders Show.
Anyway, the concept is clever on the surface, and I didn't realize until afterwards that Mike Nichols directed the film
although I knew the quality of the material was certainly high along with the lineup of all-stars. The
acting is all there with the best performances coming from Annette Bening and Greg Kinnear. A former
regular on The Larry Sanders Show, Janeane Garofalo makes a cameo
appearance on the airplane.
However, there's too much obsession with sex. It's annoying throughout. Had that been toned down, the witty stuff
would come out more, making the film better. But let's be real: how hard is it to impregnate a woman? Just find an
alcoholic. It's what I said from the beginning, and they did exactly that. Hence, the overall effect is ruined
because it eventually doesn't make sense.
All in all, What Planet Are You From? is a nice try but goes overboard with the sex stuff.
What Price Glory (1952)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
The DVD cover for What Price Glory is completely misleading by painting it as a serious war film.
Originally meant to be a musical, it's rather half drama, half comedy which makes the whole thing weird, especially
when it concerns WWI. To be honest with you, I don't think those who fought at the time would be offended by
what's shown on screen. It's just that the film is all over the map. In the meantime, Joseph MacDonald should've
gotten an Oscar nomination for the cinematography. It's stunningly rich in color that was never shot in France but
on a sound stage.
Make no mistake: this is an exceptional performance by James Cagney who has a great line: "It's a lousy war,
kid...but it's the only one we've got." Not many would've been as good as he. Dan Dailey has amusing moments. The
best and the funniest is when he ordered a laughing corpsman on the bridge to stand up and march to the left,
causing him to fall into the water. Because of Cagney and Dailey being stuck with the war, the film has a strong
ending.
Awkwardly placed in the middle of a love triangle between the male leads, the French actress Corinne Calvet is
okay. It's impossible to tell how much they feel about her. On the other hand, Robert Wagner's love
interest is played by Pier Angeli's twin sister, Marisa Pavan, in screen debut. She'll be Oscar-nominated four
years later for her performance in The Rose Tattoo.
All in all, James Cagney fans will appreciate What Price Glory, but it's a disappointing war picture for
the most part.
What the Deaf Man Heard (1997)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/08
4/08:
Instead of What the Deaf Man Heard, What the Deaf Fraud Heard is the appropriate title based on how the story
went down.
No disrespect to Tom Skerritt is intended, but his character seems to be one step away from being a child molester.
Jerry O'Connell, whenever he gets the chance to watch this movie, should be embarrassed of himself. I've been confused
by James Earl Jones' character because what he said doesn't make sense. The unfolding of the mystery isn't bad, but
the believability factor is nil.
Anyone who doesn't speak for twenty years will have lost all of the muscles in his voice box and be rendered mute practically
for life. At the same time, nobody bothers with the possibility of sign language as a method of communication. The
pace is another problem as the film has been bogged down by the loquaciousness of the characters.
All in all, What the Deaf Fraud Heard gets everything wrong about deaf mutes.
What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/04, 4/05, 8/20
8/04:
Words I can use to describe how I feel about What's Eating Gilbert Grape won't be good enough.
Johnny Depp, Juliette Lewis, Darlene Cates, and Leonardo DiCaprio are all outstanding. Of the latter, it's probably the
only film I can say he gives a believable acting performance. It's also the only time, besides
Ed Wood, I can say Johnny Depp is something special.
All in all, most of the credit goes to Lasse Hallström for the fine storytelling and making the cast gel in
What's Eating Gilbert Grape.
4/05:
What's Eating Gilbert Grape is a perfect picture for Johnny Depp.
His on-screen chemistry with Juliette Lewis is kept at high level and feels natural. Darlene Cates has a nice supporting role
to bring the most out of the story. But it's Leonardo DiCaprio who's super special.
All in all, What's Eating Gilbert Grape is a must-see picture for Leonardo DiCaprio's sake.
8/20:
Leonardo DiCaprio isn't a great actor, but his performance in What's Eating Gilbert Grape is astonishing.
It's nearly the only reason to watch the film over and over. The cast is fine. I wish I can say everybody is special, but not
this time. Johnny Depp and Juliette Lewis have good chemistry, but let's be real: his character was screwing around with
an older woman, making him an icky dude. His friends are boring to listen to.
I thought Darlene Cates would be dead shortly after the completion of the film, but she surprisingly lived longer until passing
away in 2017. She must have weighed over 600 pounds. At any rate, Darlene Cates plays the second most memorable character,
and it's the only Hollywood film she did.
So, what's the story is all about? Specifically, what's the meaning of the title: What's Eating Gilbert Grape? It's
the numerous little issues he has on his plate that many people don't usually deal with. One day, Gilbert just snapped and
took it out on Arnie. It's understandable, but he went too far this time.
All in all, shot on location mostly in Texas, What's Eating Gilbert Grape is a decent movie, but it's nothing
special except for Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar-nominated performance.
What's Love Got to Do with It (1993)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/10
3/10:
Prior to seeing What's Love Got to Do with It, all I knew was Ike used to abuse Tina Turner physically.
After I was done with the film, I figured that much: he beat the crap out of her. That's it. There's nothing else to see. The more
appropriate title should be: What's Beating Her Up Got to Do with It. It lacks depth in all areas. I've been
hoping to learn anything about the characters but to no avail. There's a considerable loss of details in regard to what's
happening in certain scenes.
Meanwhile, Laurence Fishburne lives up to the expectations of his character, but Angela Bassett is bland. I notice how manly
she looks, especially when she flexes her arm muscles. Was Angela Bassett training to be a bodybuilder?
All in all, the story of Ike and Tina Turner starts and ends with What's Beating Her Up Got to Do with It.
When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
I only took interest in When a Man Loves a Woman for Andy Garcia's sake in spite of Meg Ryan because I hate her plus
she can't act worth a damn.
Five minutes into it, I knew I was in for a long haul by sensing an obvious ploy for Meg Ryan to win an Oscar by turning
herself into The Long Weekend sob story. Souring my mood further is when I noticed
in the opening credits that the screenplay was co-written by the notorious sex offender Al Franken.
The trouble with the film is it's manipulative to the nth degree. Alice has the perfect life as she's married to a handsome
pilot husband with two daughters while owning a house in San Francisco, but she's an alcoholic. Talk about rich white people's
problems. The apparent remedy for her is to stop drinking and perhaps seek professional treatment. Afterwards is when
everything began to get worse...much worse.
Alice says her husband is the problem. He doesn't believe her, and neither do I. Staring at Michael like he's an idiot, she
says stuff like, "What you are doing is not hearing me out...what you have to do is hear me out." He doesn't understand, and
I don't, either. So, she decides to hang out with her fake friend and be cool by smoking like a chimney. The husband starts
to think maybe he's the problem after all and is willing to enter therapy. Yet I fail to see what's wrong with him.
Eventually, Michael admits he, not Alice, is the problem. Oh, okay...it's been him the entire time as the cause of his
wife's drinking, and she gets to take the kids as a result.
Now, here's my issue which is simply this: WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT? What we have here is a weak husband who got
brainwashed and therefore emasculated totally in spirit. Michael should've filed for divorce on the spot. He'll find somebody else,
and it's Andy Garcia, for Pete's sake! Alice just can't appreciate what she has because she's nothing but trailer park
white trash. I think Michael only held on to her longer because of sex.
Two things I wondered the whole time are: 1) Had this been going on for a while?; and 2) Was she from the
gutter or one of them college sorority bitches before Michael came along and rescued her? If the first question is in the
negative, then I find it hard to believe that the drinking issue suddenly appeared. As for the second, who knows? But it's
curious to see Alice's normal-looking parents showing up to babysit the two daughters and then disappearing for good
afterwards when it'll make sense to have them for support or perhaps to explain a bit about the family history and whatever.
Anyway, it's not Andy Garcia's finest hour. I hope he only did the film to cash in by riding on the coattails of Meg
Ryan's popularity because he was never a bankable actor to begin with. On the other hand, Meg Ryan is terrible and can't
make herself believable for the slightest bit, hence the all-around fake emotion she gives off. The two female child stars are annoying
while there's a decided amount of racism going on, especially the way the Asian female babysitter was treated as if she's
supposed to be responsible for cleaning up the white family's mess and more. By the way, airline pilots aren't allowed to wear their
uniform in public unless it's walking to and from the airport and while flying; otherwise, it's a fireable offense.
All in all, When a Man Loves a Woman is the drivel female version of
The Long Weekend.
When a Stranger Calls (1979)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
When a Stranger Calls has mastered the concept of "suspense" but nothing else.
It's off to a good start for twenty minutes by establishing a believable urban legend: the babysitter is called in for a job
but is asked by the parents not to check on the kids upstairs only to find out they've been killed when the cops appear at the end.
Then, the middle comes and is so slow-paced that it makes for a tough sitting. Thankfully, the momentum returns to speed
things up for the final twenty minutes by retouching base with the original babysitter to finish on a high note.
Charles Durning gives a fair performance while Carol Kane is fine enough. Ron O'Neal was, once upon a time, Super Fly. However,
the killer isn't interesting and happens to be a common guy who's cracked in the head, probably ever since birth. As for the actor
playing him, Tony Beckley never did another film and would die the following year, possibly from AIDS.
Going back to the first act, it alone could've been submitted to win an Oscar for the Short Film category. In fact, it's the
original product entitled The Sitter, which later served as an inspiration for the opening scene of
Scream, that got expanded to a feature film after it was picked up for proper theatrical
release. Hence, I can see why the middle ultimately felt out of place.
All in all, When a Stranger Calls has several worthwhile merits but is pretty much bested by
Black Christmas and Halloween.
When Trumpets Fade (1998)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
When Trumpets Fade...what a great title for a war picture.
It's not often a director made something that nearly beat the pants off an outstanding movie, but John Irvin
did it through Hamburger Hill. Many Vietnam vets had swore it's more
accurate than Platoon. Hence, I had my expectations set
to high entering When Trumpets Fade, and most of them were easily met.
Almost no war film ever shows severed limbs and an assortment of injuries on the battlefield. But this one does
in a big way. Ditto for extreme cowardice which resulted in a man being instantly killed by his fellow
soldier. Combat stress is harped on, forcing a survivor to try to Section 8 himself out of the situation ASAP
because he feels he had done enough fighting. To add insult to injury, somebody doesn't believe him as an
experienced soldier.
If there's a negative, it's the way everybody talks. So much profanity for WWII. I don't believe it for a
second. The writer of the screenplay is W.W. Vought, and it's original, not having been adapted from anything.
Had it was, I would've been interested in reading the book just to ascertain if the
dialogue was indeed credible. Some reviewers joked about the explosions as if they were done with fireworks.
I get it, but it's not a distraction anyway.
The performances are generally good, but it's Ron Eldard, a Tim Roth lookalike, who steals the show. I won't be
surprised if this is the film that led him to being cast in Black Hawk Down.
One thing I learned about the Siegfried Line is that it was nicknamed "dragon's teeth" for the purpose of stopping
tanks from crossing over. Meanwhile, the cinematography, shot on location in Hungary, looks very realistic.
As for the fighting, it took place during the Battle of Hürtgen Forest in the final four months of 1944 that was
more costly to the Allied side than the Germans', resulting in between 33,000 and 55,000 casualties compared to
their 28,000. Eventually, it was determined that the Germans had won decisively, and the whole thing was forgotten for
good when the Battle of the Bulge began to take over despite being the longest ever fought on German soil in WWII
history. Many came to view the Allied tactics during the Battle of Hürtgen Forest disastrous.
All in all, despite the modernness, When Trumpets Fade is the
Hamburger Hill of WWII pictures.
When Will I Be Loved (2004)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
Now, I know why there were raves posted on the DVD cover of When Will I Be Loved.
Those behind it must have been desperate to attract anyone's attention to see the film. Unfortunately, I fell for the trap.
What I don't like is how the camera is always moving around in some scenes. The flipping back and forth between the opening
screen credits and the action goes on for too long.
Neve Campbell, who didn't in Wild Things, bares almost all, but is her body great? No. Is
she attractive? No. Is she pretty? Well, I've always thought of her as plain-looking. Strangely, Neve Campbell hasn't done much
in years, so did she do the nude scenes to get back in the limelight? Anyway, RIP Neve Campbell's career because it can't simply
survive on those endless Scream sequels.
Fred Weller, who plays Ford Welles, is embarrassingly bad. It's worse when he and the spoiled rich girl turn out to be
pathological liars. Oddly enough, she lives in a luxurious apartment and does painting. So, will it make sense to cover
the hardwood floor with plastic to prevent damage?
All in all, the final answer to the question When Will I Be Loved is: never.
When Worlds Collide (1951)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/14
4/14:
It's been a while since I've seen a film that's blatantly racist.
When Worlds Collide falls under this category. Apparently a product of its time, it's unacceptable and
offensive today and is a prime example of eugenics. From start to finish, save for the United Nations meeting, I count not
one single black, Latin, or Asian person. Nor do I see anyone with disabilities or obesity. The selected forty consist of
perfectly able white males and females.
So, I guess the underlying goal of the so-called New World Order is to make it as white and Christian as possible. Well,
they've succeeded at it in When Worlds Collide. Some people might think of my statements as trivial, but they aren't.
Diversity is embraced because people all over the world come from different cultural and ethnic groups, and not one of them
is superior to the other. This is the most important aspect in understanding humanity.
Hypothetically speaking, if the worlds were to collide today, I'm pretty sure the rich folks—the richer they are,
the better their chances are—along with their trophy wives are going on the trip while the rest of everybody else is
discarded because they're simply not rich or desirable. Such how life works out.
Finally, I refuse to believe it's that facile for the spaceship as shown in the film to succeed and for the people to be
able to survive on another planet. The reason why Earth is unique is that it took billions of years of evolution to create
a set of survivable conditions to allow the organisms to thrive. Just to throw it all away and start anew on another planet is
impossible because their bodies will not survive given the different makeup of the atmosphere.
Meanwhile, When Worlds Collide won the Oscar for special effects which are laughably bad. Slap my face...any second
grader can do the same thing. The brown uniforms worn by the selected forty humorously remind me of the Heaven's Gate cult
group; is that where its insane leader got the idea from? As for the ineffable romance between the girl and the village idiot
pilot, what can she possibly see in him that the medical doctor doesn't have? Who cares if he's going on the trip or not? Really, I
could care less, and of course! He was going on the trip after all; he was just being melodramatic, so everybody could pay
attention to his fake needs.
All in all, When Worlds Collide is eugenics at its finest.
Where Danger Lives (1950)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/09, 2/24
1/09:
True story, I was once mixed up with a girl just exactly like Margo Lannington, and I can only say this for anybody else
facing the same situation: AVOID.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking when I was yelling at Robert Mitchum's character to get out of the mansion when he
was faced with the life-changing decision. But the poor sleepy-looking sap unbelievably wimps out and is therefore stuck with
Margo until the fateful, albeit weak, ending.
Although their chemistry is near zero, Where Danger Lives isn't so bad of a film noir that's actually redeemed
in the final ten minutes, reminding me of Touch of Evil. Yet it's hysterical to see the
half-paralyzed Robert Mitchum dragging himself toward the Mexican border.
Anyway, I like the story, and there's a certain amount of tension during the improbable chase when I initially thought nothing
of it. The husband's accidental death did cause me to say, "What's the big deal?", but the revelation came later that he was
intentionally killed. Given the colors of roses and how often they come up, shouldn't the film be called White Rose? As
a matter of fact, the working title was A White Rose for Julie.
Margo can be annoying to a certain degree, but I've been willing to go along with the flow. I never thought Faith Domergue was
a good-looking gal, but she's considerably younger than Julie. Now, shouldn't the nurse be mad about being cheated on
after all?
All in all, Where Danger Lives is a well-done film noir that requires some suspension of disbelief.
2/24:
My rating for Where Danger Lives remains unchanged.
It's a well-written film noir. Robert Mitchum is excellent while Faith Domergue is a take-charge femme fatale.
Misdiagnosing his condition as a concussion, what Jeff really had is a subdural hematoma. That's why he couldn't think
straight anymore after being hit in the head by a poker. As a result, Margo took over when the best thing to do was letting
Jeff transport her husband to the hospital and sign the death certificate; after all, he's a doctor with the power to authorize
it. You see how easy the situation would've been taken care of.
It's funny that everybody keeps telling Robert Mitchum his eyes don't look good, but we all know it's how they are.
Because Maureen O'Sullivan is old-looking as Julie, it's not hard to understand why Jeff switched interest to
Margo. Mitchum was 32 at the time of filming while Maureen was 38 and Faith 25 or so. Claude Rains is perfectly cast so he can
set up the dramatic confrontation and say, "I wish you'd stop calling her my daughter. She happens to be my wife."
All in all, Where Danger Lives works well for a film noir with Robert Mitchum playing a helpless sap.
Where Eagles Dare (1968)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/07, 6/10, 12/22
8/07:
Where Eagles Dare is a brilliantly made war espionage picture.
The casting of Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood can't have turned out better. Films that rush through the story without any
development usually leave me unsatisfied, but this one goes against the grain by having everything in place before the match
is lit for the fuse to blow open a barrel of gunpowder.
There are many twists, turns, and surprises that the action never lets down all the way to the end for 155 minutes. Although
none of the characters is explored in depth, the focal point is rather the plan with everybody in position to be ready.
What sets Richard Burton apart from other actors is his ability to evince naturalism. Lot of times, he never tries hard
which makes his acting look easy. His co-star, Clint Eastwood, will go on to have a career that most want to die for.
All in all, Where Eagles Dare is the Mission: Impossible of
impossible missions.
6/10:
After seeing Where Eagles Dare for the second time, I've sadly decided the movie is boring.
Seeing there's a lot of intelligence in the planning of the mission, I've been surprised at the lack of it elsewhere.
First of all, at the beginning, the British and American agents were recruited for their ability to speak German.
Well...nobody ever attempts to do so during the mission.
Second, during the cable car incident when Richard Burton jumped from one cable car to another, it's impossible
given the look of the distance between these two in the air.
Third, why bring along three agents for hostages? What's the point? They should kill them all to make the escape easier from
Schloss Adler.
Fourth, near the end, the group jumps out of the cable car into a small creek, yet the Nazis on the other side of the line
don't see them?
Fifth, when the characters emerge from the supposedly icy cold water, they look almost dried off.
Sixth, I don't think they did the filming during the winter because the snow looks
Doctor Zhivago fake.
Seventh, when the tree falls down, blocking the Nazis from going through the pass, they use sticks of dynamite. After they
blow it up, the aftermath looks perfectly done.
Eighth, I'm tired of seeing helicopters because they never existed during WWII.
Ninth, it's annoying to see the rear projection effect during some of the scenes, especially with the cable cars.
Tenth, the protagonists are virtually invincible against thousands of flying bullets which makes it hard to believe.
By the way, the sight of the Nazi jumping out of his seat after hearing he's part of the Hitler assassination plot is funny.
All in all, Where Eagles Dare doesn't stand the test of time, but it's a passable WWII action-adventure thriller.
12/22:
Having Clint Eastwood and Richard Burton in the same picture is yummy, and that's the case for Where Eagles Dare.
Of course, most of it is unbelievable. There are so many bullets, but none of them hits Clint or Richard except for one time.
The mystery is however palpitating, but I fail to see the necessity to speak German since it won't matter in the long run.
All in all, you should ignore the implausibilities in Where Eagles Dare because it's quite entertaining.
Whirlpool (1950)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
11/23
11/23:
Whirlpool is an imbalanced film noir with a weak ending.
I thought it would be well-directed because of Otto Preminger. Well, he did get good performances out of
everybody for some while. Unfortunately, Gene Tierney's "But I didn't do it! I don't remember!" act started to wear thin,
ultimately losing my sympathy. José Ferrer turned out to be cartoonish in the long run while Richard Conte proved why he
could never be a major star. Charles Bickford would only grunt, wanting to go to bed already.
At first, the longer David Korvo talked in a manipulative way, the more I was being reminded of
Gaslight, but the movie
took off as soon as Ann Sutton got set up for murder, hence the apt title Whirlpool. I became enraptured by how she was
going to get out of it with her husband doing what he could do logically. Then, the ending came which is a face palm.
So, the writers, Ben Hecht and Andrew Solt, couldn't come up with something believable? It's like they got lazy and decided
to piss the whole thing away. Korvo manages to hypnotize himself so he can will himself to walk away after a major
gall bladder operation? Colton, all of a sudden, decides to have the Suttons at the house, and everybody happens to meet
there at the same time...at such a late hour? Korvo shows himself in order to be easily captured when he should've taken
the recording and left the house pronto? It's all patently ridiculous to me.
All in all, despite the crap about the science of hypnotism, Whirlpool works well in spots, but
everybody dropped the ball big time during the ending.
Whispers in the Dark (1992)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
*slap my forehead* What's wrong with you, Alan Alda?
Whispers in the Dark gives Color of Night and
Basic Instinct a serious run for their money as the Worst
Psychobabble Film. Although the acting and dialogue seem fine, it's the hackneyed script that manages to reach
for the over-the-top logic by throwing a lot of curveballs at me on purpose.
I formed a conjecture and stuck fast to who might be the killer. As soon as the identity was revealed, I didn't feel
surprised. Then, thinking about it, the reasons why still make no sense.
However, the pathetic sight of the killer's embarrassing epic meltdown afterwards is another story. You'll have to see the
scene to believe it. Speaking of the tapes, what kind of intellectual will leave them in the open for others to listen
if they include the patients' most intimate secrets? The cop has overstepped the line for behaving so
contumelious that he ought to be sued for unethical methods along with his badge taken away.
All in all, congratulations to everybody working so hard on Whispers in the Dark to win the Worst Psychobabble
Film award, and Alan Alda...please work more on your acting skills or, better yet, just retire.
The Whistle Blower (1986)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
10/19
10/19:
Talk about boring and dated.
The first half-hour of The Whistle Blower put me to sleep because
Chariots of Fire's Nigel Havers wouldn't
stop yakking. Then, he was thankfully offed, and the movie got better when Michael Caine took over and went solo.
Honestly, the premise is nothing new, and it's been going on for centuries. We should better get used to it. So please, Mr.
Simon Langton...tell me something original and, while you're at it, fix the ludicrous ending because there's no way John
Gielgud's character will fall for that stupid trap. Most importantly, who cares about England? It's a has-been country.
Back to Michael Caine, I find it interesting that he appeared in the same film with Barry Foster. I always thought the latter
was the splitting image of the former. In fact, Michael Caine was asked to play the necktie strangler in Alfred Hitchcock's
Frenzy but turned down the request because he found the material repulsive. Therefore,
Barry Foster was given the role. Feeling snubbed, the director refused to acknowledge Michael Caine for the rest of his life.
All in all, if the characters are going to talk about nonsense and do nothing particularly interesting, then perhaps the movie
shouldn't be made in the first place, m'kay?
White Chicks (2004)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/06
1/06:
First of all, the makeup work to transform the Wayans brothers into Wilson sisters is a remarkable job.
I almost bought the act. But it doesn't excuse the fact that White Chicks is an awful film because I
refuse to believe the story and the logic behind it. Actually, I had no clue what the assignment was supposed to be all about.
This movie is definitely for viewers with low IQ who believe in this kind of crap. I'm bewildered by how the
bodybuilder is a professional basketball player. Another is: how is it possible these two dim-witted brothers are FBI agents?
Throughout, I've never been able to differentiate between the Wilson girls. But what I don't get is, although the brothers follow
the status quo of how a perfect girl should look like which is thin and tanned, their ability to shed off the muscles before
transforming themselves.
All in all, today's comedies have gone downhill.
White Heat (1949)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
10/08, 3/17
10/08:
Well...is White Heat one of the greatest pictures ever made?
Mocking Sarah Palin, "You betcha!" Before there was Norman Bates, there was Cody Jarrett. James Cagney gives the greatest
performance of his career. The saddest part is he wasn't recognized for it. His "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!" scene is
among the all-time greatest endings ever. Watching it sends a chill down my spine.
Raoul Walsh's direction is slick and keeps the tension taut. What he did with the prison cafeteria scene when Cody found out
what happened to his mother is legendary. That moment takes real skill to pull off which makes James Cagney special. By the
way, one of the prisoners who passed the word along is the great Olympian champion Jim Thorpe.
All in all, White Heat is the best gangster movie made of the pre-Godfather era.
3/17:
White Heat is probably the greatest gangster picture to come out of the 40's with a career-defining performance by
James Cagney.
Nothing is more dramatic than the ending when he went to the top of globe-like structure and yelled,
"Made it, Ma! Top of the world!" before the ensuing boom. Strange to say, he paints himself a sympathetic figure who has an
endearing yet criminal relationship with his mother.
The other famous scene is when Cody found out his mother was dead and had a spontaneous moment of insanity. Nobody would've
pulled it off better than James Cagney. The film has a great supporting cast which includes Margaret Wycherly, Virginia
Mayo, Edmond O'Brien, and Steve Cochran.
All in all, because of James Cagney, White Heat is an all-time classic.
White Hunter, Black Heart (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/08
2/08:
Come on...what's this?
I said I wanted entertainment, not some two-hour flick about a stupid, boisterous, and egocentric asshole with
a moral statement at the end. White Hunter, Black Heart should've stayed within the confines of a novel.
Unfortunately, I'm treated to the displeasure of sitting through it. The chief reason is that I hate animal killing.
Clint Eastwood decides to drape the enivrons with body parts and stuffed animals including lions, zebras, and elephants, among
the other poor souls. Um, you just lost me, dude. I also hate his character, and Clint Eastwood doesn't have the depth to play
somebody as complex as John Wilson.
On the other hand, Jeff Fahey, who's usually a terrible actor, does a good job. George Dzundza, the detective from
Law & Order, looks thin and will go on to load up some 200 pounds on his body. That's some achievement, I must say.
All in all, John Huston in Chinatown is once enough for me.
White Men Can't Jump (1992)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
Instead of White Men Can't Jump, it's Nobody Can't Shut the Hell Up.
It's the nonstop yip-yapping that's annoying. I can't decide who plays a worse character: Woody Harrelson or
Rosie Perez. However, the acting is fine. Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes have good chemistry. I wish the movie
was all about them and nobody else. They, mostly Wesley Snipes, have memorable moments. The basketball scenes aren't bad, either.
The film tries to be a comedy, but it feels more like a drama piece of how Billy Hoyle can't stop being a fuckup. There are
a couple of false endings when I thought one had been arrived at after the basketball tournament with Rosie Perez's character
finally getting the shot to be on Jeopardy!
All in all, Nobody Can't Shut the Hell Up is what has been the whole time.
White Mile (1994)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/20
11/20:
Based on the 1987 incident along the Chilko River in British Columbia, Canada, White Mile highlights the reasons why
I hate working for others.
The biggest of them all is the loss of control. I see these guys in the film and can completely understand their dilemma. When
I used to be a teacher, I had no choice or say about the matters that were related to lockdowns, disaster situations, and abusive working
conditions. It was "either you are with us, or you're not." Not appreciating this kind of thinking, I chose to quit
and vowed to never put myself in the same situation again.
I hate the corporate life and won't think of going back. The personality of Alan Alda's character,
Dan Cutler, is quite common in this line of work, and he's a shark: unfeeling and single-minded with the intent to
kill. The ending in terms of what happened to him isn't a shocker. He's the fake kind who lives and dies by the sword.
White Mile has great whitewater rafting scenes, so I give top marks for everybody involved to make them realistic.
Having done these trips before, paddling experience does matter, and these rapids are most definitely class V but probably
not VI. And no helmets?!? That's sheer lunacy. On the other hand, the cast is great with plenty of familiar faces.
Although Dan Cutler is mostly at fault, the tour guide deserves a share of the blame for being so stupid not to realize the
high potential failure of the trip. His safety instructions prior to the trip are too terse and unsubstantial; he doesn't even
explain what to do in case if the raft is capsized or check on anybody to see if they're paying attention. Plus, the water is
too cold, enough to cause hypothermia. Because of the overload, there should've been two rafts although I can understand going
with one was intended to be a metaphor.
All in all, White Mile is full of life lessons, and the most important of all is: "Are you going to be in control or
let yourself be controlled by others?"
White Noise (2005)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/05
11/05:
White Noise is a film of which nothing much happens.
Never gripping for a moment, it mostly benefits from Michael Keaton's presence. The cheap special effects don't do much for
me, and the plot is off by a mile. Not making sense is the ending. It's like Ghost meets
The Sixth Sense. Come up with something new, please.
All in all, White Noise is crap.
White Palace (1990)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/12
8/12:
Prior to seeing White Palace, I made a prediction that Susan Sarandon was going to stink it up.
It turns out she did. Her character is nothing but a repulsive-looking, washed-up, trashy, uneducated, trailer-park, alcoholic,
coarse old bag. She tries to be sexy but fails badly at it. The conversations between her and Max are superficial and empty
while the ending is embarrassing to watch.
In terms of socioeconomic and academic differences, Max and Nora are so far apart that it's impossible for me to conceive how
their relationship is going to work. There's zero chemistry between these two which is the kiss of death for a Hollywood
picture. Let's face it: Max is addicted to sex, not her.
Only if Susan Sarandon could be replaced, the film might have been better because James Spader is an excellent actor who
deserves a better co-star to work with. The cycle of him with the old bag goes like this: have meaningless sex, realize there's
nothing to say, examine her for imperfections and argue over them, have a make-up meaningless sex, realize again there's
still nothing to say, examine her more for imperfections and argue over them, and have another make-up meaningless sex.
All in all, White Trash sounds better.
White Sands (1992)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
4/07, 7/11, 5/24
4/07:
Roger Donaldson crafts a taut neo-noir entitled White Sands which has plenty of tension.
He also keeps the story appealing enough for me to follow while generating excellent performances from
the all-star cast. Willem Dafoe shines along with Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, and they steal some of the scenes
when together. Mickey Rourke is fun to watch. Samuel L. Jackson makes an appearance but doesn't show enough ability
to be the actor that we know him as.
I love the ending when Samuel L. Jackson was running with nothing in his briefcase across the hills of
White Sands which is a unique national park located in Southern New Mexico.
All in all, I wonder what the results would've been if White Sands was filmed in black and white instead.
7/11:
White Sands is an underrated neo-noir.
It's the performances that make the movie work. The mystery has lots of ceaseless twists and turns, especially the
ending. Throughout, the cinematography is resplendent.
Willem Dafoe has always been an exceptional actor, and it's nice to see him in a leading role here. Stealing the show at
times is Mickey Rourke who regains his top form after suffering a couple of disasters through
Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man and
Wild Orchid. I love Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio's presence as she gives the picture
a much needed balance by playing the anti-femme fatale. Samuel L. Jackson has a small part, but M. Emmet Walsh's
minimal involvement is disappointing because he can make things more interesting.
All in all, White Sands is a can't-miss.
5/24:
White Sands is the best film Roger Donaldson has ever directed.
Everything works: the neo-noir style, the presence of A-list thespians, the location shots of New Mexico, and
the twists and turns. Willem Dafoe should be credited the most for getting the film off to a strong start. I say his
character took on a huge risk by pretending to be Bob Spenser because he truly didn't know what he was getting into. Then,
having Mickey Rourke, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, and Samuel L. Jackson on board is the more the merrier. Willem Dafoe
and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio have extremely strong chemistry.
All in all, I can watch White Sands over and over and never be tired of it.
White Zombie (1932)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Regarded as the first zombie movie made, White Zombie is fair and coherent when it comes to the story.
However, the slow pace has cooed me into a somnambulistic mood, making me fall asleep. It has some nice background work,
especially with the castle. Béla Lugosi isn't bad, but I feel he had taken the Dracula thing too far.
All in all, clearly influential on Night of the Living Dead,
White Zombie makes for an okay viewing.
Who Done It? (1949)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
A sigh of relief came over me while watching Who Done It?
It's better and funnier than other film shorts which had been dreadful. So, what made this work? It has
less redundancy and more fresh gags. Additionally, the dialogue is better, and having Shemp on board helps.
All in all, the mystery genre seems to fit the Three Stooges' style more than the others.
Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is
He Saying Those Terrible Things
About Me? (1971)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/13
7/13:
Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me?
And my answer to that question is: "Who the fuck cares?" By the way, Barbara Harris' Oscar-nominated performance?
It's the definition of the most fake, hokey acting.
All in all, Who Is Harry Kellerman and Why Is He Saying Those Terrible Things About Me? is among the worst
films I've ever seen, and what a long title...sheesh.
Who'll Stop the Rain (1978)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
Who'll Stop the Rain is disappointing.
Sometimes, I think the song by Creedence Clearwater Revival was an excuse to make the film. Nick Nolte is the
reason why I went for it, but he isn't the problem. All of the three points in my rating are for him.
Otherwise, it's a solid '1' picture. Voted as the Sexiest Man Alive in 1992? Nick Nolte was way better-looking
here.
Initially, I thought the story would be about war because of the misleading DVD cover, but it's a mule
trying to get away from three men who wants his two keys of uncut heroin. This takes two hours, ending
predictably. Cutting down the running time to half would've been more effective. By the way, who's the
fourth guy going after Ray and Marge? He just came out of nowhere.
Everybody is dumb. In fact, the title of the film ought to be changed to Who'll Stop the Stupidity.
Ray is a know-nothing gung ho moron who should've walked away from the deal in the first place. Tuesday
Weld plays a useless character. Ray should've dumped her somewhere safe. I guess Nick Nolte needed
somebody to talk to. It's clear that Michael Moriarty is nothing more than a TV actor. He plays the same type
of character constantly.
All in all, just think of Who'll Stop the Rain as a stepping stone for Nick Nolte who'll have the biggest
breakthrough of his career in the next film: North Dallas Forty.
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
5/04, 2/05, 3/17
3/17:
Come on over to Martha and George's house for an evening of fun, games, and drinks.
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? marks Mike Nichols' directorial debut, and it's a smashing success, receiving an Oscar
nomination in every eligible category (being one of the two films to do so along with Cimarron) which is thirteen in
total.
Elizabeth Taylor had never been this good in her entire career as she was in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? She's
always a classy actress, relying on her looks to get by and succeeding at it. But to call Elizabeth Taylor a truly
great actress wouldn't be possible until she took on the role of Martha. She's shockingly unrecognizable, gaining thirty
pounds and looking like a trashy, alcoholic, and washed-up hag. That acid tongue of her character is unbelievable which is
actually accurate of Elizabeth Taylor in real life.
As for Richard Burton, he gives another great performance, making it seem like child's play. What a surprise he
never won an Oscar out of seven nominations. To round out the rest of the cast are Sandy Dennis and George Segal.
They're perfect. It's interesting how their characters are amateur drinkers compared to Martha and George who
come off as pros. Sandy Dennis would win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress while George Segal snagged a nomination.
The three reasons why Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? is such a brilliantly made picture are the acting, the language, and
Haskell Wexler's cinematography. Of course, the dialogue is mostly nonsensical which is a result of the alcohol-fueled
night of verbal and emotional violence that's triggered by the anniversary of Martha and George's inability to conceive a child.
No matter what, it's poetry, and the momentum is jump-started every three to five minutes by the beautifully
stringed lines of choice words.
The acting is beyond brilliant. It's Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton who set the standard, and Sandy Dennis and
George Segal were challenged to match it, reminding me of the Brando effect on the principal cast in
A Streetcar Named Desire. There's art to the black-and-white look of the picture,
and that's why Haskell Wexler won the Oscar. He captures some of the most dramatic scenes in film history including the "what
a dump!" scene and the dizzy sequence that led to Honey throwing up.
All in all, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? is a timeless masterpiece.
Who's Harry Crumb? (1989)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/04, 2/07
8/04:
"I know one thing. We find that crazy typewriter, we'll find our kidnapper."
It's a great quote by John Candy in the fun-filled film entitled Who's Harry Crumb? Only he can play the role of
the titular character while everybody else is no good. The comedy is inconsistent. When the moment arrives for a laugh, it's been
worth the wait although they're few and far between.
Sad to say, the movie is almost a rip-off of Fletch because of the similarities in sleuthing
around and using different disguises. One of John Candy's characters who stands out the most is Djour Djilios. When asked how
to spell his name, he replies, "I don't think so. Try it with a 'D.'"
All in all, Who's Harry Crumb? is all John Candy.
2/07:
If you want a John Candy treat, then by all means watch Who's Harry Crumb? and come away feeling delighted.
Of course, it's a small film with low expectations, but John Candy makes the comedy work by playing the bumbling private
detective who means well.
All in all, Who's Harry Crumb? is hilariously funny.
Who's That Knocking at My Door (1967)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/06
12/06:
Guilty of style over substance, Who's That Knocking at My Door is an aimless movie with no story to tell.
Martin Scorsese, in his directorial debut, tries to make it the Easy Rider of the 60's
but fails miserably. However, there are two things I like: Harvey Keitel and the experimental style. Now, I see where
Bad Lieutenant got the ideas
from as it rips off the final five minutes in regard to the religion scene.
The film is never sure of which direction to take. There's a worthless bar scene with three guys who are laughing and
fooling around. That being said, some of the characters can be either annoying or uninteresting. Throughout, there's a
vacillation between silence and loquaciousness. When people talk, there's no substance.
All in all, Martin Scorsese would do better.
The Wicker Man (1973)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/06, 2/10, 2/24
10/06:
The Citizen Kane of horror films?
Well, I wish I saw The Wicker Man a long time ago because it's that damn good. I'm a big fan of Anthony Shaffer, and
his screenplays are always gold. It's been the case for this. By the way, his twin brother Peter wrote the script
for Amadeus, Best Picture Winner of 1985.
The Wicker Man is a true work of art because it ceases to be scary as a horror picture and begins to be scary
as a philosophical picture. What is it like to reside on an island that lives by its own laws and doesn't conform to the
moralities of the outside world? Actually, this happens everywhere which is more often than you think. That's the theme of
the film with a shocking end result.
The genius behind such a story, as evidenced in Don Siegel's
Invasion of the Body Snatchers, is to make the
world seemingly ordinary that's free of monsters, blood, gore, etc. Yet there's something fundamentally wrong
with the picture. That's why The Wicker Man succeeds.
I've been thinking how the inspector should get out of the situation because he's the only one who knows what's going on.
Ultimately, it's the final ten minutes that puts the stamp on The Wicker Man as a horror masterpiece which
plays out the same way as Edgar Allan Poe's The Cask of Amontillado.
All in all, The Wicker Man is one of the greatest movies made.
2/10:
The Wicker Man is an eerie British cult horror masterpiece that's penned by Anthony Shaffer.
The performances are low-key, making the story, rather the mystery, be the focal point of the film. It gets
weirder and weirder when the inspector finds out more of what's going on. Absolutely chilling and unforgettable is the
final scene. I feel for him. Also, I love the tie-in with the short story The Cask of Amontillado
by Edgar Allan Poe.
All in all, if you want to see a philosophical horror film, The Wicker Man is your best bet which is unlike anything.
2/24:
Dropping my rating from '10' to '9', there are some problems with The Wicker Man.
Don't get me wrong. It's still an outstanding film with a genius script by Anthony Shaffer. The theme is christianity vs.
paganism. What Sergeant Neil Howie (Edward Woodward) was feeling is fine, but it's still not enough. He should be
expressing shock all the time because what's happening on Lord Summerisle's island is out of the world.
The second error is not looking for a phone to call his station on the mainland. Britt Ekland's long
nude scene is gratuitously pointless. Had it been shorter, then okay...I can accept that. The fourth is the ending which is hard
to believe, but the point has been made. Instead of giving in so easily, Howie should be fighting hard for his life.
A poor man's Michael Caine, Edward Woodward gives a terrific performance. I love the editing and the cinematography which
was shot on location in Scotland. Christopher Lee is average because he's never been a great actor. Naturally, he would call
it the best film he had done; that's because he did schlocky horror films for so long. By the way, you'll see Peter
Snell's name as the producer, but it's not the same guy who set world records and won Olympic gold medals in running.
All in all, The Wicker Man is still one of the best films in UK history.
The Wilby Conspiracy (1975)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/19
4/19:
Come with me, my friends, as we take a trip to the heart of racism in South Africa with Michael Caine and Sidney Poitier
for The Wilby Conspiracy.
It's a solid action-adventure picture with a great ending, especially when the natives anchored themselves on the helicopter,
but I wish it was more serious. The weird mix of apartheid and humor gives me an ill feeling which takes away some of the
message the film tries to send out about race relations.
No matter what, I think things got better over time, thanks to Michael Caine. In his third collaboration with director Ralph Nelson
that saw him win Best Actor for Lilies of the Field, Sidney Poitier isn't bad, but his
acting ability looks somewhat eroded this time around. The true star of the show is Nicol Williamson who once bore an uncanny
resemblance to Sherlock Holmes in The Seven-Per-Cent Solution. As the racist
Afrikaner special agent, he's a bad, cold-hearted motherfucker.
On the other hand, the English-speaking audience is finally introduced to Rutger Hauer who would make his mark in action
pictures during the 80's. He was once a good-looking Dutch guy. The Indian actress is Persis Khambatta who's well known for
playing Lieutenant Ilia with her head shaved, and she passed away from a heart attack at the age of 49 in 1997.
All in all, if comedic aspects could be altogether removed, The Wilby Conspiracy would've been a better movie.
Wild at Heart (1990)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/08
5/08:
Dark, strange, bizarre, and weird are what I'll describe Wild at Heart.
In other words, it's another usual David Lynch experience, but this time, the movie actually sucks. It's boring, bland,
flat, and uninspiring. The acting isn't a problem; it's the pace. There's almost no story to speak of.
Somehow, there seems to be a convergence of the characters toward the end, but David Lynch skips the secondary characters,
drops half of the film altogether, and makes up some new stuff as if he wants to shoot the fucker in the foot and move on.
Hence, three-fourths of the buildup is all for naught. Honestly, most of the elements were in the right place
for success, but a few things had been bothering me the most: the made-for-TV feel, the constant search for absurdity, and
the lack of redeeming values. Anyway, what a fantastic-looking movie poster with Laura Dern and Nicolas Cage.
All in all, Wild at Heart is a retread of Blue Velvet but with a predictable ending.
The Wild Bunch (1969)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
7/04, 10/06, 10/10, 9/19
10/06:
The first time I saw The Wild Bunch, I gave it a '5'.
Seeing the film again some years later, I upped the rating to '8'. Going for one more time, I now consider
The Wild Bunch as a surefire masterpiece. It's funny how things work out.
The best way to think of the story is "honor among thieves." If there's a film that represents Sam Peckinpah the
best, it's this. The editing is absolutely amazing. There are some scenes that are stirring and passionate. The display of
violence is unbelievable which is best described as poetic.
All in all, The Wild Bunch is a work of art.
10/10:
The Wild Bunch keeps getting better every time I see it.
Sam Peckinpah knows how to play the piano when it comes to making movies. It's the editing style which has the "wow" factor
with the ending that says it all what the movie is about.
All in all, there's nothing like The Wild Bunch.
9/19:
When you hear the phrase "honor among thieves," The Wild Bunch exemplifies it.
Because of the final shootout, Sam Peckinpah is famous for directing this picture. It's the editing of violence
that's absolutely beautiful. Over the years, while losing his mojo, he tried to make a comeback film that's in the same
vein but failed each time except for Straw Dogs and
Junior Bonner.
I love the cast, and many of the guys are old-timers, earning a bunch of Oscar nominations and wins: William Holden, Ernest
Borgnine, Robert Ryan, Edmond O'Brien, and Ben Johnson. The Latino actors Jaime Sánchez and Emilio Fernández round out
the rest and are especially memorable.
All in all, The Wild Bunch is a Western poetic mixture of violence, honor, and brutality.
The Wild One (1953)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/06, 1/24
2/06:
The Wild One is a cheesy picture that's responsible for starting the outlaw motorcycle gang craze.
Not even Marlon Brando's presence can save this one. The famed star admitted later in his autobiography that the film had
aged badly and that he didn't think much of it. I hate the hooliganism aspect. Equally hard to watch is Lee Marvin who acts
like a jackass. Things are worse when it becomes apparent there's no story to be found.
All in all, it's best to regard The Wild One as a passing fad that's only interesting for historical purposes.
1/24:
I have to say now The Wild One has aged well.
Marlon Brando did call it "corny" years later, but I'm starting to see the relevance. As a former high school teacher,
I usually had an idiot troublemaker or two per class. In worse schools, I'm sure it's more. But in the movie, they're
literally everywhere.
Their behavior is annoying to deal with. I can understand how the townfolks felt, seeing that they're overwhelmed in
numbers. Some try to play nice in the hopes of them leaving quietly without causing damage. At this
point, I was going to say to call in the national guard or the military, but crime had to be committed first. Eventually, they
took matters in their own hands.
What's impressive about Marlon Brando's performance is not how he acted but what his face showed. I can tell, deep down,
there had been a series of incidents in the past that caused him to hate authority with passion. This is his quiet revenge.
Somehow, there's about 10 to 20% goodness in Johnny, but he won't yield to it; so, he has to assert his leadership in front
of the biker gang to protect his tough exterior.
Meanwhile, The Wild One is a historical movie because it was influential in starting the trend of outlaw biker
gangs, black leather wear, and sideburns. Marlon Brando is very good-looking, outfit and all. Unfortunately, he got so
attached to Johnny Strabler's persona that he would demonstrate it mightily for the rest of his life, marking the downfall
of a supremely talented actor.
All in all, The Wild One holds up well, thanks to Marlon Brando.
Wild Orchid (1989)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/07, 10/12
7/07:
Building up my expectations to a high level because of 9½ Weeks, Wild Orchid
has left me disappointed.
It's not Mickey Rourke's fault that the film failed, but it's rather the director's ineptitude which led to the demise
that seems to be all about sex and no passion. Carré Otis is lifeless, and Jacqueline Bisset is unbearable.
Neither can act well enough to generate any sexual energy.
Mickey Rourke shows some flashes of brilliance, but his talent is largely wasted. There's not enough mysteriousness
surrounding his character. The chemistry between him and Carré Otis, who was his wife at the time, is nil.
All in all, I can see Kim Basinger pushing Carré Otis off and telling her, "Let me show you how it is done, you
inexperienced twit."
10/12:
Seeing Wild Orchid again, my opinion is now improved.
It's clear that Mickey Rourke was in a different league. The way he acted, the way he moved, the way he expressed himself, and
the way he talked are prime examples of The Method school of acting. Simply put, Mickey Rourke is perfect for the role of
James Wheeler.
Of course, Zalman King tries hard to recapture the magic of 9½ Weeks and somewhat
succeeds at it. But he had it down pat in Two Moon Junction that was made one year
prior to Wild Orchid. Although not the director, his vision was also realized in
Lake Consequence with Billy Zane and Joan Severance which came four years afterwards.
Zalman King's films are basically about female's sexual awakening.
If James Wheeler, as emotionally insecure as he is, sees a woman passing his series of tests, then he'll find it easy
to open himself up more to her. At the end, he decides to release it all. While this is going on, the differences between
Jacqueline Bisset's and Carré Otis' characters become noticeable. Now, I'm a big proponent of the axiom: "less is more."
Hence, the sex scene at the end is superfluous, and Zalman King should've forgone it.
All in all, Wild Orchid is an interesting Zalman King vehicle with a great Mickey Rourke performance.
Wild Things (1998)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/04, 2/06, 12/16
2/06:
Similar to Body Heat but much hotter, Wild Things is a steamy, stylish
neo-noir thriller with terrific performances.
Wild Twists sounds more like it because there's an endless supply of them. On the other hand, the cinematography is
top-notch, bringing the most out of the Floridian ambience.
Matt Dillon is fantastic. It's one of my favorite performances in his oeuvre. Also terrific are Kevin Bacon, Neve
Campbell, Denise Richards (who gives, without question, the best performance of her career), and Bill Murray.
All in all, all the credit goes to John McNaughton for delivering an underrated kinky, neo-noir picture through
Wild Things.
12/16:
Wild Things is the best trashy neo-noir picture ever made.
Denise Richards will always be memorable for this. The first time I saw the film in 1998, I
took the story as given. By the time the ending came (don't forget to stay longer for it; otherwise, you'll completely
miss the rest of the story), I was surprised but felt the outcome made sense.
Now, seeing Wild Things again, the novelty wears off quickly because I already knew what happened, so instead, I
aimed for the cinematography, dialogue, and acting performances. What a great cast. Matt Dillon, Bill Murray, Kevin Bacon,
Neve Campbell, Denise Richards, Theresa Russell, and Daphne Rubin-Vega are outstanding and have great lines.
An epiphany occurred to me during one scene when Robert Wagner and Matt Dillon came together: the former was the original
actor in A Kiss Before Dying and the latter reprised his role in the remake
thirty-five years later. It's pretty cool to see.
All in all, Wild Things is a stylish neo-noir thriller that promises to shock the first-time viewers.
Wildcats (1986)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/18
6/18:
Do you know what's one of the most abused themes in cinema?
It's the story of a sports coach who's down on his luck and decides to take over a team of misfits and losers and they become
champions at the end. Wildcats is such that, but only this time, it features a female for high school football
which is, I believe, a rarity.
Goldie Hawn is okay, but she isn't funny. Neither is the film for the most part. The family situation takes too much away from
the momentum when it should be episodic with stupid 80's pranks. Like the characters of Grease,
the football players are simply too old to be in high school. In fact, the squad makes it look like junior college or maybe
penal league based on their black/gray uniform.
Bruce McGill is more impressive than Goldie Hawn by playing a bully whose actions border on sexual harassment. He had a
memorable performance as Hank Weldon in one episode during Season Two of Miami Vice. It was called "Out Where
the Buses Don't Run" which is frequently voted as one of the greatest TV episodes of all time.
There are debut performances for several actors: Wesley Snipes (who's better in Major League
given the same theme), Woody Harrelson, and LL Cool J who only has less than ten seconds of screen time. The first two went on
to pair up in three more films: White Men Can't Jump,
Money Train, and Play It to the Bone.
One of the most memorable actors of Wildcats is Tab Thacker who plays the black fat guy Finch. In his time, he
was the greatest wrestler ever to come out of North Carolina State University, winning the NCAA heavyweight title in 1984 and
earning All-American honors three times with an overall record of 92-11-1.
Thacker weighed over 450 pounds and wrestled in a weight class that was deemed "unlimited." The rules were finally
changed in 1987 with a cap of 275 pounds. It may seem unfair to hold a 200-pound advantage over opponents, but he was pinned
by a legendary 218-pounder named Lou Banach of Iowa University. The former Wolfpack wrestler died in 2007 at age 45 from
complications of diabetes.
All in all, Wildcats may have worked well as a comedy football picture during the 80's, but today, it's dated and not
funny.
Wildfire (1988)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/15
9/15:
Despite what Wildfire has to offer, it's too low-budget to be enjoyable.
The first reason why I went for the film is Zalman King's attachment as the director. He has identifiable trademarks, but I'm
surprised to see nearly none of them in this. The second reason is Steven Bauer who's in a rare leading role. A
capable actor, he would've been a good fit for 40's noir pictures.
In Wildfire, Steven Bauer does a great job of making most of his character. Yet it's Linda Fiorentino who ruins
everything. The trouble is her frigidity. No matter how beautiful she looks, there's a façade she radiates that kills
any chance of chemistry with her co-stars. Because of this, the story becomes ridiculous as Steven Bauer's character
tries everything as possible to impress her.
Zalman King also makes the mistake of forgoing the development of romance during the reform school phase. Had he done that,
the passion between the doomed lovers might feel cogent. Instead, it's just dead.
All in all, Wildfire needs a better budget, a more believable lead actress, and a stronger story.
Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! (2004)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/06
1/06:
Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! is a funny, charming picture with an intelligent script, terrific characters, and the
right set of feelings.
In many ways, it's an emulation of Pretty in Pink but better and less corny. It has a
nice ending that's similar to the beginning. The acting is marvelous. Josh Duhamel is perfect as Tad Hamilton because he looks
like a star.
All in all, I wasn't expecting much from Win a Date With Tad Hamilton!, but it's been a nice surprise.
Wind (1992)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
10/24
10/24:
Wind is one of the most impressive films I've seen.
This is Chariots of Fire stuff. The subject is unique: competitive sailing.
America's Cup is its World Series which is usually held every three or four years. It's actually the oldest
competition of any international sport. Back then, no motors were allowed, just wind, but the rules
have been changed.
Right off the bat, it's the cinematography that raises the quality of the material. That's why
John Toll ended up winning two Oscars (Legends of the Fall and
Braveheart). Then, there is the stunning editing work as evidenced by the final
race for the Cup. That one should've been the Oscar winner for Michael Chandler; there's nothing like it.
Epic doesn't come to my mind for most films, but Wind should be labeled so. Putting the sailboats against
the backdrop of hundreds of spectators and the ocean makes them look larger than life, and there are the
competitors who work furiously to operate these machines. It's truly a spectacle. Wind was never something I thought
much about, but after seeing the film, it turns out to be the most appropriate title.
The performances are very good. Matthew Modine is perfect for this sort of thing (see
Vision Quest for what I mean), and you can observe the thrill of victory on his face
at the end. But it's Jennifer Grey who gives more to make the film special. The only issue I have is that nobody from the
supporting cast, aside from Cliff Robertson, Stellan Skarsgård, Rebecca Miller, and Jack Thompson, was given ample screen
time to develop their characters. It's a mistake on the director's part because if I think back to
Chariots of Fire, Rocky,
Major League, Best of the Best
and so on, just about everybody, however many of them, was well-developed.
All in all, Wind is an absolute can't-miss that captures the essence of classic filmmaking.
The Wind and the Lion (1975)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
3/17
3/17:
The Wind and the Lion appears to be a rousing action-adventure film that's in the mold of
Lawrence of Arabia with plenty of rolling heads.
John Milius is a better writer than director. It's clear by listening to the dialogue, but the execution isn't up to par. He's
more focused on animal abuse than anything else. At the end, why did the American troop start shooting at the
Germans? Impossible. It'll never happen as a war will be set off between these two countries.
The Perdicari incident did occur that's somewhat true as presented in the film. Instead of a woman and her two children, it
was a middle-aged man and his stepson who were kidnapped by a Berber brigand, Mulai Ahmed er Raisuni who was better known as
Raisuli, and his men.
Sean Connery, a Scotsman, pretends to be an Arab and does an okay job. Infamous for saying, "An open-handed slap is
justified—if all other alternatives fail and there has been plenty of warning. If a woman is a bitch, or hysterical, or
bloody-minded continually, then I'd do it," he demonstrates it very well here.
Hired for her looks, Candice Bergen is flat as always. Brian Keith steals the show by playing President Theodore Roosevelt.
The tagline of the movie poster says: "Between the wind and the lion is the woman. For her, half the world may go to war."
*eyes roll* Really? Anyway, here's a comical trivia that's taken from IMDb:
"According to John Milius, when the film was screened for President Gerald Ford, Ford remarked that he recognized the place
they filmed in Yellowstone National Park well, because he used to be a Ranger there. Milius refrained from informing him that
the entire movie was filmed in and around Spain."
All in all, The Wind and the Lion is okay for the most part, but I'd rather watch
Lawrence of Arabia again.
Windtalkers (2002)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
2/24
2/24:
Talk about introducing a premise and then failing to make the most use of it.
That's what happened in Windtalkers. It was supposed to be about the Navajo code talkers, but unbelievably, they got lost
in the shuffle when a white guy by the name of Nicolas Cage took over to be a war god. For two and half hours, it's been a
nonstop series of fighting with an occasional break for serious acting. What a crazy formula.
So, yes...it's over for John Woo. He's the Michael Cimino of action movies. The man doesn't know when enough is enough. Two
or three action scenes from him are usually impressive, but there are tons of them in Windtalkers, ultimately
boring me to death. There's no point to any of them because the battle situations are never explained.
However little it's shown, the acting is fine. Nicolas Cage starts out okay but becomes hard to believe over time. The movie was
going to end when his character died. Everything he did in the war would've gotten him over fifty Congressional Medals of Honor. In
other words, it's impossible. Adam Beach does what he can to be likeable but falls into the trap of being clichéd for an
American Indian.
By the way, I read a book on this subject. The Navajo code talkers, which numbered almost 400, were trained to learn every
form of radio communication in existence that were used by the Marines including Morse code. The problem is that the Japanese
broke every one of them because they came to the United States to learn as much as they could including many Indian languages
that were actually used to transmit radio messages during WWI. But this Navajo language escaped their attention. Hence, the Marines
decided to keep it top-secret which went unbroken for decades. As a matter of fact, it's among the hardest languages to learn.
For the job well-done, no Navajo code talker was ever promoted above the rank of corporal or given a single medal during the war.
All in all, I've never seen a WWII picture that's so ridiculous like Windtalkers.
Winners Take All (1987)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
12/12
12/12:
Winners Take All is the Days of Thunder of Supercross motorcycle racing pictures.
In fact, I think that's how Tony Scott got most of the ideas for his auto racing classic. The cast, most especially Don
Michael Paul, Robert Krantz, and Kathleen York, turns in all-around great performances. I like the characters and their names,
especially Bad Billy Robinson.
It has many 80's elements, and they're what makes Winners Take All a fun picture to watch. It's not often a
female character is the mastermind, but it's a nice change of scenery this time. Also, director Fritz Kiersch takes
a big risk by including a character by the name of Bear, and it works out well at the end.
All in all, Winners Take All is the most exciting movie made about Supercross motorcycle racing.
Winter Kills (1979)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
Winter Kills is a veiled parody of the Kennedys.
John Huston is Joseph P. Kennedy while Jeff Bridges is either Bobby or Ted and the deceased brother is JFK. The
former only did the role because he hated the guy himself. Philadelphia is substituted for Dallas.
Since the whole thing is made up and full of camp, it's better to see either
Executive Action or JFK.
The ending is absurd, suggesting that the father had his son killed for wanting to make the world a
better place. Oh, well...it's nice to see the all-star cast which also includes Sterling Hayden, Anthony Perkins,
Eli Wallach, Toshiro Mifune, Richard Boone, Dorothy Malone, Ralph Meeker, and Elizabeth Taylor. Many did
it for free due to funding issues.
All in all, presenting an over-the-top conspiracy theory is the first mistake of Winter Kills.
Winter People (1989)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
Kurt Russell continues to be an underrated drama actor as evidenced in Winter People which plays out like a nice,
old-fashioned romance novel.
There are many good performances from the rest of the cast which includes Kelly McGillis, Don Michael Paul, and Jeffrey Meek
who may have stole the show. The consistent level of acting is what makes the film believable. Somehow, the intriguing plot
feels like The Big Country but on a smaller scale.
Ted Kotcheff directed First Blood, and he goes back to the same ambience for
Winter People. Instead of British Columbia, Canada, it's shot on location in Asheville, North Carolina, where the
author of the book, John Ehle, hails from. Hence, the scenery is very nice to look at.
All in all, time has been kind to Winter People, and I'll be seeing it again someday.
Wise Guys (1986)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
7/17
7/17:
In 1986, Nicholas Pileggi wrote a book called Wiseguy which was about three decades of life in the mafia.
It became Goodfellas in 1990 because Brian De Palma already took the name for a movie
that's completely different although the genre is still the same.
A thorough Jersey picture that's headed by two New Jersey guys, Wise Guys was heavily panned when first theatrically
released, but it isn't bad. In fact, the movie is funny, thanks to Danny DeVito. He's a
gifted comedian with a great timing. Without him, the whole thing won't have worked. Danny DeVito was doing it all.
Joe Piscopo will always be associated with Wise Guys, and it's a fact that he can't avoid. The best line is when the
two guys repeatedly yelled, "Thank you, Mr. Acavano!" One funny part is when they smashed up his car on purpose. Captain Lou Albano,
the famous wrestler who's responsible for changing the sport, makes his debut, and he's perfect as Frank the Fixer.
It's a forceful performance.
All in all, despite what the critics say, Wise Guys is a well-made mob spoof that offers plenty of laughs.
The Witches of Eastwick (1987)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/11
5/11:
Sometimes, the nostalgia isn't worth it.
I remember seeing The Witches of Eastwick way back in the late 80's and then a couple of times during the 90's, but
each time I did, it never appealed me. For a while, I had wondered why, so I decided to try again. Now, I can see what's so
bad. It's the mumbo-jumbo storyline that has no connection to reality which made it an unbearable film to watch.
Jack Nicholson playing a sex-crazed character is nauseating. Then, to add three annoying actresses (Cher, Susan Sarandon,
and Michelle Pfeiffer) into the mix is like pouring salt on the wound. Finally, the inexplicable inclusion of a crazy bug-eyed
female character with the ability to curse out everybody and throw up incessantly is the final nail in the coffin.
All in all, The Witches of Eastwick is pure dreck.
Without a Clue (1988)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/12
6/12:
Although Without a Clue contains a clever twist, it's a poorly made dud that's a notch better than the disaster with
Dudley Moore and Peter Cook.
Laughs are here and there, but they're far in between. After maybe forty-five minutes, it goes downhill, never recovering.
It's hard to see Michael Caine and Ben Kingsley as Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson, respectively. I hate the
casting of the latter because he looks wrong for the part. I've read all of the Sherlock Holmes stories written by Arthur
Conan Doyle, but nearly nothing of Michael Caine and Ben Kingsley matches the typical bearing and deportment of the two famed
characters. Their dialogue isn't up to standard, either.
All in all, it looks like there's no such thing as a good Sherlock Holmes picture.
Without Limits (1998)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/07, 11/21
12/07:
Without Limits is a superficial but watchable film about the legendary runner Steve Prefontaine.
There are several things I like. The first is Billy Crudup's uncanny appearance of Steve Prefontaine. Secondly, Donald
Sutherland gives his usual best. Third, the editing work of the 1972 Munich race between Steve Prefontaine and Lasse Virén is
remarkable.
However, the negatives outweigh the positives. All I saw is Steve Prefontaine racing, saying futile words, and sleeping around.
In other words, there isn't much of a story. Moreover, it lacks development among the characters apart from Steve.
Is Donald Sutherland's Bill Bowerman only there to serve as a reminder that he invented Nike shoes? The AAU fight feels out of place. I
can see it was part of Steve Prefontaine's story, but screenwriter Robert Towne fails to make it matter. I read
somewhere Tom Cruise was considered for the role of Steve Prefontaine. What a laugh. Imagine him trying to look like Pre.
All in all, Without Limits has a lot of problems, but at least, it's a Steve Prefontaine biopic which is a rarity.
11/21:
You know what Steve Prefontaine looked like, and now...imagine Tom Cruise playing him.
It almost happened for Without Limits. Luckily, he decided to back out and let somebody else, who's a lot closer to
him in image, take over. That being said, Billy Crudup nails the part very well and I like his fluid running
form, but Jared Leto gives a better acting performance.
The problem is it's a slow movie that often drags. There are some incidents that aren't factually true.
For example, Steve Prefontaine hurt his foot by hitting it against a loose diving bolt, not during one night of gymnastics sex.
At the end, they almost have the version correct, but the truth is: somebody punched Frank Shorter in the mouth which explains
why he begged Steve Prefontaine all night long to be taken home, but Steve wanted to stay longer for the party.
All in all, it's a good idea to watch both Prefontaine and Without Limits, but
don't be surprised to realize that the one with Jared Leto is better.
Witness (1985)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
7/04, 11/20
11/20:
Quick!
Name a Hollywood picture that features the Amish culture. If you said Witness, that's right! It's because it's
the only one you can think of. In fact, it was primarily responsible for jumpstarting tourism in Lancaster
County, Pennsylvania, which currently has the largest Amish settlement in the world. Having visited there once, it's an
enjoyable experience, and I recommend the food and drink which are all homemade.
Back to Witness, it's a well-made picture that's part policier and part Amish. There's no
disrespect shown to these people which is gratifying to see. Of course, a culture clash exists which is impossible to
avoid. The look of some scenes is similar to the 17th century paintings by Dutch Masters, resulting in a Best Cinematography
Oscar nomination for John Seale.
What I love is the foreign vibe, thanks to an Australian director by the name of Peter Weir. It has several great aspects. One
is Lukas Haas to serve the inciting incident. Two is the barn raising event. Three is the ending which
has to be appreciated because of the cultural differences, forcing the star-crossed lovers to go back to their separate worlds.
Harrison Ford is terrific, earning the sole Oscar nomination of his career although he deserved it more for
Raiders of the Lost Ark. The reason is that it marked the first time ever he broke
away from the action-adventure and sci-fi genres although it's a familiar role by now. Kelly McGillis continues to be
an underrated actress of the 80's. Jan Rubeš is excellent as well, playing her character's father.
Lukas Haas is perfect as the little Amish boy. Danny Glover is something else because he plays a bad
guy which is a rare undertaking for him. The ballet-turned-actor Alexander Godunov, who trained with Mikhail Baryshnikov,
is perfectly cast, and of course, everybody knows him as Karl in Die Hard. Somewhere in
the mix is Viggo Mortensen who makes his screen debut.
What makes the Amish different if you ask? Well, they choose not to embrace technology, with the exception of
few which is only out of necessity, and electricity; hence, everything they do is strictly manual. Education stops
after eighth grade, and vocational training in agriculture, craftsmanship, or another profession like nursing begins.
Their life is ruled by the Ordnung, an oral manual that comprises the rules of the church; failure to follow any of
them is to risk being shunned forever. However, they're allowed back in after true repentance. Interestingly, the teenagers
are entitled to "rumspringa" at age 16 as they can go out in the world to see whether or not they prefer to
be part of it, but 90% of them come back anyway.
Descended from the original two-hundred families that first settled in America, 98% of the Amish in the world live in
communities that are scattered throughout Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin, and New York, among others.
An Amish family averages seven children, and therefore, they have no need to recruit outsiders for conversion. They wear plain
clothes without buttons or zippers. Barn raising is a big community event for them but has become less common nowadays.
All in all, Witness is a fascinating movie because of the Amish culture, and it doesn't hurt one bit
that Harrison Ford is the headline star.
Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
3/10
3/10:
I'm a sucker for courtroom dramas because they're always compelling to watch, and Witness for the Prosecution is
no exception.
If not for Charles Laughton, I don't know how the film will have worked, but it is he who gives the most outstanding
performance. Although I hate Marlene Dietrich, she's fantastic. Ditto for Tryone Power who was never an able actor. Charles
Laughton's wife, Elsa Lanchester is great, if annoying, as the nurse.
The ending is the cherry on top of the cake. Then, the message, which comes afterwards forcing me to promise not to divulge the
surprise ending to anyone else who hasn't seen the film yet, is cute.
All in all, adapted from Agatha Christie's novel, Witness for the Prosecution is a classic Billy Wilder film.
The Wiz (1978)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/24
3/24:
The Wiz is too bizarre.
$24 million was budgeted for the film, but they couldn't squeeze five bucks out of it on light bulbs? At any rate, the film is
so dark and ugly that I'm flabbergasted it received Oscar nominations for Best Art Direction-Set Decoration, Best Cinematography,
and Best Costume Design. The voters must have been high on crack back then.
Another shocker is the running length of 134 minutes. I only could watch it for thirty minutes per day because my brain refused
to take any more of the musical nonsense. So, this was meant to be a children's film while there were black strippers showing
off a lot of skin? I don't remember any of that in the 1939 version which was 23 minutes shorter.
Then, there's the strange choice of Sidney Lumet helming the director's chair despite his zero background of musical pictures. This
is the guy who did 12 Angry Men, Network, and Al Pacino
classics such as Serpico and Dog Day Afternoon.
What he failed to do is to make a connection between everybody's outpouring of soap operatic emotions and the main premise.
The most unbelievable of them all is the casting of 33-year-old Diana Ross in the leading role that's owned by Judy Garland
who was 16 at the time. Finding that out is the biggest reason why John Badham, the original director,
immediately stepped down. Irene Cara would've been a suitable choice since she had the musical chops and was
the right age for it. Surrounding Dorothy are silly idiot characters who keep annoying me to no end, especially the Cowardly Lion.
I don't get musicals. I really don't. As for the dance scenes, all I see is a bunch of people running all over the place and
throwing their arms in the air. What is it supposed to signify? They do that every single time. If you can explain it while making
perfect sense, then I have a stupid-looking award ready for you. By the way, the script absolutely sucks which is full of "can do"
positive thinking bullshit messages that can be found in the failed Erhard Seminars Training movement.
All in all, The Wiz is a famous bad film for lots of reasons.
The Wizard (1989)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/11
2/11:
The Wizard is so bad that the Power Glove looks good in comparison.
My biggest motivation to revisit it is to see the most infamous scene when Lucas showed off his huge masturbator and said,
"I love the Power Glove. It's so bad." Indeed, yes. It was that fucking bad in real life.
Anyway, the film...*shakes my head* where to begin? There are so many cheesy moments that I thought cheese would literally
pour out of my DVD player. Fred Savage is awful, and he makes me want to punch him in the head. Christine Phillips
and Luke Edwards are equally bad. Given the sight of them hitchhiking from Utah to California, all I can think of is possible
child sex abuse victims.
Why the fuck is Fred Savage lugging his half-ton skateboard? I mean, is he really going to use it along with
other stuff he has in his knapsack of shit? Does anybody realize Jimmy has autism? Oh, I love the happy ending of
how video games can bring a family together, leaving me in tears...not.
I remember watching The Wizard back then at a theatre which was the first time Super Mario Bros 3, which
is maybe the most overrated game in NES history, was unveiled to the public. Today, it looks underwhelming. On the
other hand, the host of Video Armageddon has definitely consumed too much of crack cocaine.
All in all, The Wizard is a tug-of-war battle between Jimmy's mental problems and Nintendo product placements.
The Wizard of Oz (1925)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
When the opening screen credits rolled for The Wizard of Oz, the first thing I saw was Larry Semon's name.
I was like, "Who the fuck is Larry Semon?" Then, I asked myself, "Would it be funnier if he changed his name to Larry Semen?"
Anyway, I was expecting a tornado, Dorothy, and hundreds of munchkins. But no...it's this Pee-Wee Herman
weirdo who kept hogging the attention. I'd been asking, "Who the fuck is this dude?" After half an hour, I fell asleep.
When I woke up, I decided to go on the internet to find out who this guy was, and it turned out to be Larry Semen. More
interestingly, the film ruined his career, and he passed away a few years afterwards. My only thought to all of this was:
"Good riddance."
In short, this version isn't The Wizard of Oz I've come to know as. Lengthy body
falls, unexplainable explosions, and unintelligible storyline are among the highlights of the mess. Larry Semen takes the screen
time away from everybody as he manages to be the queencock of assholes. Just looking at him, I can't help but be disgusted
enough to beg for mercy.
The ending is bizarre, and even more so is the inside an egg that's all black. Speaking of gooey stuff, many slapsticks
involving liquids are gross to watch. At one point, Semen's character exclaims that lions prefer dark meat before he proceeds
to kick one (which is supposed to be a black actor pretending to be a lion and his name is G. Howe Black) in the nose. Also,
there's another black actor whose character's name is Snowflake, and he likes to eat watermelons. That's great stuff,
Larry. Really...really terrific.
All in all, Larry Semen should be tarred and feathered before he's dropped from the highest point of the Empire State Building.
The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/05
6/05:
The 1939 version of The Wizard of Oz is among the most overrated movies of all time.
Full of mindless fluff, the colors of the exterior are so cheap-looking that I can't help but be distracted by the whole thing
taking place on a sound stage. Putting up with the idiot characters who try to be cute and special makes me want to
drop a nuclear bomb on my head. Although highly quotable, the dialogue is too silly.
There's only one aspect I like, and it's Margaret Hamilton's brilliant, timeless performance as Miss Gulch/The Wicked
Witch of the West. What a surprise she wasn't Oscar-nominated for Best Supporting Actress. Oddly, the movie seems like a
celebration of her murder.
All in all, I'm not starstruck by The Wizard of Oz like many mindless fanatics who are.
Wolf (1994)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/05, 7/15, 3/21
10/05:
Wolf is a super thrilling picture but has a slow pace.
James Spader is delicious. Jack Nicholson turn in a fine performance. Michelle Pfeiffer doesn't
disappoint. The overall cast is brilliant. Hard to overlook is the lush cinematography.
All in all, Wolf is the best werewolf picture made.
7/15:
Wolf is a well-directed picture by Mike Nichols that's heavily buoyed by Giuseppe Rotunno's exquisite cinematography.
It also has fantastic performances by Jack Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, and James Spader. These three make it fun to watch.
When Stewart Swinton (what a great name) is revealed as the bad guy, James Spader is at his vintage best, bringing
back memories of when he was Steff in Pretty in Pink and Rip in
Less Than Zero. His incessant habit of lying
while being convincing is amusing because it's impossible to tell whether he's honest or not.
Of course, Jack Nicholson is also in top form (when does he ever give a bad performance?). It's true that he looks
like a wolf for real. He also brings the best out of Michelle Pfeiffer despite her limited thespic abilities as she shines a
lot given her radiant beauty that's perfectly captured.
Although the pace is slow, it's the story that keeps the film going, setting up a gripping
finale in the last twenty minutes with a surprising twist that I didn't see coming in the first place.
Rick Baker's makeup job, especially how he works with the eyes, is outstanding.
All in all, Wolf is the best werewolf picture I've ever seen, and it's not even close.
3/21:
I have now decided, despite the exquisite photography, Wolf is too long.
It seems to go on and on, and I'm not sure why. Perhaps there's too much buildup in the plot, allowing Jack
Nicholson to develop his character fully. Oddly, James Spader goes missing for the longest time,
and finally, he shows up for the thrilling fifteen-minute fight with Jack Nicholson.
Because of the strong ensemble, the acting is fantastic as usual for a Mike Nichols film. Only Michelle Pfeiffer
looks out of place; she's there for her beauty, nothing more. Toward the end, it's obvious she's wearing too much makeup to be
believable as a wolf. In fact, it's been the case during the film or, if I may say so, her entire career.
Speaking of cinematography, plenty of edifices are taken advantage of. The office of Alden's Publishing House
is located at the Bradbury Building in Los Angeles, California. Shown in many films, it contains some of the
best-looking ironworks. Alden's house is Old Westbury Gardens in New York with parts showing the Vanderbilt Mansion.
When Will Randall met with the lycanthropy expert, I thought the whole time it was Burt Lancaster, but it's actually Om Puri.
The resemblance is weird for a while because of the bad makeup job by Rick Baker who's a veteran of many werewolf
pictures. Nonetheless, the timing seems to be spot-on because Burt Lancaster died of his third heart attack during the same year.
All in all, some tight editing will help to make Wolf easier to sit through.
A Woman (1915)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/07
8/07:
The most disturbing sight of A Woman is Charlie Chaplin in drag minus his moustache.
Like Major Dutch will say, he's a "one ugly motherfucker." Charlie Chaplin continues to show off his sadistic ways.
Also, he literally walks over them as if he's high and mighty.
The message of the film is it's okay to act like an idiot, smash beer bottles over people's heads, and disregard law
enforcement by physically touching them in order to impress women.
All in all, only if Charlie Chaplin would grow up, stick his fist through his ass, and shove it all the way to his mouth,
I'll be grateful.
Woman Haters (1934)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
Not a misogynistic film as advertised, Woman Haters starts off with an interesting concept but quickly falls apart.
Nothing works. I didn't laugh once. This one has too much singing that's coupled with stagy performances.
All in all, Woman Haters is a disappointing bore.
The Woman on the Beach (1947)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/15
6/15:
Talk about ridiculous.
Having seen a lot of Jean Renoir pictures, I don't like his style because it's always more unrealistic than realistic.
The Woman on the Beach fits the bill. In fact, the executives at RKO didn't like the original print and forced the
director to redo a third of it, resulting in stilted dialogue and gaps in logic. Afterwards, they terminated his contract, and
he never did another American film.
The acting jobs by Robert Ryan, Joan Bennett, and Charles Bickford are fine although Nan Leslie's performance is a big eek. Her
character inexplicably disappears most of the time. Perhaps it's better this way. What I like is the justified suspicion that's
fed by Bickford's painter-husband character who actually encouraged the adultery between his wife and a Coastal Guard
officer. Hence, he does well by creating tension. Even better is the beautifully photographed dream sequence which rivals
Salvador Dalí's in Spellbound.
Unfortunately, The Woman on the Beach comes apart at the seams because of the overwrought melodramatic plot which
gradually becomes comical to watch. The ending of two men trying to kill each other in the ocean and then getting over
the spat is pitiful. Finally, the husband lets his wife go by setting the paintings on fire to declare himself free of
her. Yeah, right.
All in all, Jean Renoir tries too much in The Woman on the Beach but ends up delivering a silly picture.
Woman on Top (2000)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/06
10/06:
"Plenty of steamy sex."
What sex? There's nothing like it in Woman on Top. Other than that, nothing works. In many ways, it's a rip-off of
Como agua para chocolate. Who goes crazy about some stupid cooking show
on TV? It'll never happen in a million of years unless she's naked all the time. But that'll be boring after a while.
All in all, Penelope Cruz has no sex appeal and cannot act.
Women in Love (1969)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/15
8/15:
Ken Russell does a great job of making me scream, "No! No! No!" and run away whenever I see his name attached to a film.
Women in Love is the fourth of his oeuvre for me, and nothing works. Why can't he make something that's sensible
just for once? I'm shocked that Glenda Jackson won the Oscar for Best Actress. What did she do...flash her boobs?
The most memorable is the wrestling scene between Alan Bates and Oliver Reed in the nude. I have to give them props for being
intrepid. So, I guess the conclusion is foregone: they play homosexuals and are therefore in love with each other.
Now, will it make sense to retitle this one as Men in Love? I can see Damon Wayans and
David Alan Grier playing it up big on their show "Men on Films" for In Living Color.
All in all, Ken Russell's place in my Worst Directors list is firmly secure.
Women's Prison (1955)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/24
6/24:
Women's Prison is awful, manipulative, and tacky all rolled into one.
The biggest irony was pointed out in the following dialogue exchange between two guards:
-"I want to catch the last show at the Bijou."
-"That prison movie?"
-"Yeah."
-"They never get things right in prison pictures."
Ditto for this film. I was actually on the female warden's side and thought the doctor got in her way
inappropriately many times. After a while, given the number of males involved including the director and the writers, I started
to think it was about making a female look incompetent when she's placed in position of power.
A few of the players are the worst: Howard Duff, Vivian Marshall, and Phyllis Thaxter as Dr. Crane, the female prisoner who does
impersonations, and Helene Jensen, respectively. The latter is the biggest crybaby I've seen in a while. What she needs is a
sound beating just like how Clancy Brown's character took care of the fat fish in
The Shawshank Redemption. This is prison, not
kindergarten! Yeah, sure...Helene is released like a week later after being convicted of vehicular manslaughter. Only in Hollywood.
Similarly for the warden typing out a letter and labelling the incident a "small riot."
All in all, everybody in Women's Prison deserves extra twenty years behind the bars.
Wonderland (2003)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/05, 4/25
4/25:
Wonderland is quite chaotic, but it happened for real.
There are two versions of how the murders went down, and the authorities aren't sure which part is the
truth. Only the participants know. Out of everybody, Eddie Nash, the primary target, lived the longest,
passing away in 2014 at age 85. Lucky guy. If you find some elements too familiar, that's because it picks up
where Boogie Nights left off, especially with Alfred Molina at the house.
I won't characterize Wonderland as a Val Kilmer picture. Although the cast is star-studded, it's
mostly story-driven with fine performances, especially from Dylan McDermott who put the focus on the right
track. Val Kilmer takes care of the rest during the second half. It's easy to tell how childlike his
character is. Once I follow the story and understand the who's, the how's, and the why's, it becomes a
satisfying movie experience.
If there's a negative, it's the camera work. I think I'm okay with this preference. At first, the shaking was
out of control. Then, it's more calm before turning into obscure, making the murders hard to
see. Would Wonderland be a better film if a different approach was taken? Maybe. What saved it the
most is the quality of the narration.
All in all, to be able to appreciate Wonderland probably comes down to either ignoring the seedy
side of the people involved or caring to know what happened to them.
Work (1915)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
8/07
8/07:
Gosh, not again.
Work is nothing but work for my eyes. It's just more of the same junk.
All in all, why couldn't anyone whisper into Charlie Chaplin's ear: "Enough is enough, you fucking idiot."?
Working Girl (1988)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/06, 8/20
1/06:
Working Girl is an aptly directed film by the ever-reliable Mike Nichols with nice acting effort from everyone except
for Joan Cusack (ugh, why is she in this?).
What a lovely job by Melanie Griffith. Harrison Ford is entertaining as well. Alec Baldwin, Oliver Platt, and Kevin Spacey
have small roles. The top acting honor goes to Sigourney Weaver whose character reminds me of the evil lady in
One Hundred and One Dalmatians.
The story is kind of weird but avoids being turned into workplace sexual harassment. In many ways, it's the feminist
version of Wall Street, yet the fraud perpetuated by Melanie Griffith's character is bothersome.
All in all, Working Girl is a film that many female employees who struggle with workplace politics can relate to.
8/20:
Time hasn't been kind to Working Girl.
Mike Nichols is a terrific director, but let's be real: it's a rare misfire. While watching it, I kept thinking of
Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead. The latter made sense because
the fraud was operated on a low level, but the former? No...way. It infuriated me to no end.
Katharine Parker is the classic definition of a shark, but she was never in the wrong, like it or not. A stupid bimbo with
no credentials to speak of in the corporate world, Tess should be arrested and sent to jail for taking
advantage of the firm to fulfill her selfish mission; otherwise, how will she get the clout to make such a deal?
Gosh, the hi-top hairdos, the clownish makeup, and the football-sized shoulder pads...the sight of them all have made
me cringe. Working Girl is why I will never take Joan Cusack seriously. Four young actors appear: Oliver Platt,
David Duchovny, Kevin Spacey, and Alec Baldwin with the last two having done a superior business picture entitled
Glengarry Glen Ross. Playing a sleazeball, Spacey ironically shows his true colors.
In a star-making role, Melanie Griffith is okay. It's not the finest hour in acting for Harrison Ford, evincing no
chemistry with her. Sigourney Weaver escapes the embarrassment by giving a believable performance, but she's barely featured. Given
her A-type personality, Katharine Parker will have shown up at work within two days after the skiing accident.
All in all, overnominated to death by the Academy Awards, Working Girl is painful to watch.
The World Is Not Enough (1999)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
12/02, 5/04, 9/14
9/14:
Call this one The Mindlessness Is Not Enough.
Who can believe Denise Richards as the nuclear physicist with a Ph.D.? According to IMDb, she "was attracted to
the role of Christmas Jones as she found the part to be 'brainy,' 'athletic,' and had 'depth of character,' a
change in direction from previous Bond Girls." Wh-wh-wh-what?
When James Bond told Sophie Marceau's character the world wasn't enough, he should've said this instead,
"Your vagina is not enough." Ooh...cold. Is it possible for her to be less ridiculous? Ditto for Judi Dench.
What happened to the concept of basic storytelling for this James Bond installment? All I see is bombs, bullets, gadgets,
and more bombs. I realize now Pierce Brosnan isn't good enough to be the titular character, but there's a strong
possibility that he wasn't utilized in the correct way.
The closing screen credits reveal that "James Bond will return." Well, duh...as long as the movies remain profitable,
he'll always be coming back because there are still more vaginas for him to conquer. By the way, why is John Cleese in
a Bond flick? I expected more from him to be associated with such rubbish trash.
All in all, The Mindlessness Is Not Enough is bombastic and silly.
The World of Suzie Wong (1960)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
Hating Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing because I couldn't take
Jennifer Jones' insistence that she's a Chinese or an Eurasian, The World of Suzie Wong more than makes up for it.
I won't be surprised if I learn William Holden had decided to have another go at it to wipe away the other film
from his memory because he never got along with his co-star, failing to generate any ounce of chemistry.
One day, Nancy Kwan was taking ballet lessons and saw an advertisement for the leading role in The World of Suzie Wong.
Happily, she was discovered by producer Ray Stark because her architect father was helping with the construction of the
film studio. As an added bonus, something that's a rarity in cinema these days, she was born in Hong Kong and plays a character
who's supposed to be from there.
Making her debut in a role that almost never happened due to no acting experience, Nancy Kwan can't be
any more beautiful opposite William Holden, one of the most handsome actors of the time. They both have great chemistry,
and the romance story is well-suited for them. Hence, their performances are excellent and believable.
It's the authentic Hong Kong cinematography that brings the most out of the film, making the setting an exotic locale and the
poverty a reality for those who sell their beauty to make ends meet. The only slight downside is the running length when it
should be at least fifteen minutes shorter.
All in all, The World of Suzie Wong corrects all the mistakes that were made in
Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing and is
the bona fide picture about interracial relationship between Asians and Americans.
The Wraith (1986)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/11
9/11:
Yeah, The Wraith...I remember it from the old days of HBO.
It's the black car that always survives every time after the race. Hence, I wanted to see the movie again if it
had aged well. But sadly, that's not the case.
The plot, albeit clever and interesting, is minimal at best and grows boring after I'm acquainted with the characters for
a few minutes. Then, the pattern repeats until each one of them is dead. The same goes for the scenes. It's just a
cycle of races with a different character and a different car with the same predictable result every time. And that's about it.
Charlie Sheen has the best character, who's also mysterious, with a great-looking car. Sherilyn Fenn isn't
so bad herself as Keri Johnson. Poor Randy Quaid, what the hell is he doing in it? The man was Oscar-nominated for
his supporting role in a picture with Jack Nicholson once upon a time.
All in all, The Wraith can be better if the patterns are changed up.
The Wrestler (2008)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/09, 8/11
4/09:
The most fun I've had while watching an awards show was the Golden Globes when Bruce Springsteen won the award for Best Song
and Darren Aronofsky flipped the bird which went uncensored during Mickey Rourke's speech for his Best Actor award.
Up next was the Oscars. The show droned on forever until the announcement finally came. When Robert De Niro was making a long
tribute to Sean Penn, I immediately turned off the TV, knowing exactly where it was going. For your information, Robert De
Niro and Mickey Rourke never got along during the filming of Angel Heart, and they've hated
each other since then.
It was the most disappointing moment in a long time, and I vowed not to watch any more of the garbage Academy Awards show.
My hopes were high for Mickey Rourke. Because he burned many bridges during his career, the snub wasn't a surprise.
The truth is: Mickey Rourke was robbed because he gave one of the best performances of his career in
The Wrestler. Technically, I'm somewhat disappointed with Darren Aronofksy's direction; it's not as deep as I hoped
for, and there are too many close-ups, giving me a headache. I prefer medium shots most of the time.
What I wanted is more depth out of Randy "The Ram" Robinson. Instead, it's been the strength of Mickey Rourke's acting.
He has taken his craft to another level. It's harrowing to watch his character sink to new lows. By the way, when
the two wrestlers were stapling each other, I was thinking, "Why not fake it like they did for the film instead of the other
way around?"
All in all, in many ways, The Wrestler is the 21st century pro wrestling version of
Raging Bull.
8/11:
It's clear Mickey Rourke was robbed of Best Actor Oscar.
I grew up watching WWF during the 80's and 90's and fondly remember the names of the wrestlers, the legendary matches,
and their eventual deaths. Then, I remember Mickey Rourke's films from that time, too, and what an enormous talent
he was. Combining both, it's been an amazing convergence to make The Wrestler possible.
All in all, Mickey Rourke, not Sean Penn, should've won the Oscar for Best Actor.
Written on the Wind (1956)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/13
11/13:
Written on the Wind is a sappy, melodramatic snoozefest about rich people's problems.
The acting is often poor and hammy. Lauren Bacall isn't much of an actress since her first sizzling appearance in
To Have and Have Not which probably has a lot to do with her husband's presence.
Humphrey Bogart was actually unimpressed by the film and advised his wife not to be involved with another like it.
Robert Stack isn't cut out for acting, either. Rock Hudson should change his name to Wood Hudson, repeating the same
performance in Giant which was also made during 1956. The biggest shocker of them all is Dorothy
Malone winning the Best Supporting Actress Oscar. What did she do...sleep with the voters?
All in all, Douglas Sirk once again makes most of the colors for Written on the Wind, but I
wish the plot is as interesting as it was in All That Heaven Allows.
The Wrong Man (1956)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
11/08
11/08:
The Wrong Man is a forgettable picture that doesn't feel Hitchcockian in any shape or form.
There isn't much of suspense in this, either. Heck, any episode from Law & Order will do instead.
The first fifteen minutes gets me in the mood. Then, the momentum starts to dissipate as soon as I'm
introduced to the sidewalk, the wall, back to the sidewalk, the steel bars, back to the sidewalk again, and the steel bars.
The other problem is Henry Fonda who can only express himself in three ways: scared stupid, clueless stupid, and both
of them at the same time. It gets tired after a while. When Christopher Emmanuel Balestrero (jeez...what a mouthful his name is)
got bailed out of jail and the way he looked scared, I was like, "You hadn't suffered for a second."
By the time his case arrives in court, the sight of Anthony Quayle trying to orchestrate his argument has me yearning for James
Stewart who did it better in Anatomy of a Murder. After Christopher's wife suffers
a nervous breakdown and is placed in the "insane asylum," the film is ready to die. Dragging its feet toward the
finish line before collapsing and dying of thirst, I get a good look at the culprit and can't believe how different these
two look. My only suggestion for Christopher is to sue the witnesses for false identification.
All in all, The Wrong Man is disappointing by Alfred Hitchcock's standards.
Wrongfully Accused (1998)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/21
8/21:
Because of the title and the movie poster, I thought Wrongfully Accused was going to be a spoof of
The Fugitive.
Instead, it touches other movies such as On the Waterfront,
Casablanca, The Maltese Falcon,
Braveheart, Clear and Present Danger,
The Usual Suspects, Dirty Harry,
North by Northwest, Mission: Impossible,
Titanic, and Star Wars,
among others. Even Baywatch, ER, Lord of the Dance, and the Mentos commercials are included.
If they're going to do all of them, then how come the movie is still not funny? I'll have an occasional chuckle here and there,
but I'm mostly looking at the timer. In a way, the plot feels like The Naked Gun all over
again with a lot of random filler in between.
It's hard to comment on the cast, and I think they're there for an easy cash grab. Leslie Nielsen should've sat down and thought
long and hard about what he's doing to prevent any further on-screen embarrassment.
Murder on the Orient Express had a true all-star ensemble cast, but after
seeing this one and these stupid Austin Powers movies, I can
safely cross Michael York off the list. By the way, they keep mentioning Sean Laughrea is a one-eyed guy, but both of his eyes
seem functional. What gives?
All in all, like the other spoofs with Leslie Nielsen, Wrongfully Accused is tiresome.
Wuthering Heights (1939)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/15
6/15:
Wuthering Heights?
Ha! If they say so. The viewers are going to be divided into two camps: those who have read the book and those who haven't.
Unfortunately, I belong in the first.
Although Wuthering Heights's place among the literary classics is deserving, I didn't like the book because it had
no likeable characters. Most critics called it a "love story" when "hate story" should be the more appropriate label.
Watching the 1939 film version, I'll say it captures roughly 5% of the book while the rest is made up. In fact, it
might be the worst cinematic adaptation of a classic novel I've ever seen. So, what's the point of calling it
Wuthering Heights? They should've given it a different title in order to not mislead the viewers. Maybe this explains why
the movie wasn't such a box-office draw when it was first came out and had to be re-released at a later date.
I have a mixed opinion of Laurence Olivier; there are times he can act, but there are times he really belongs in the
theater. In Wuthering Heights, he fails miserably in capturing who and what Heathcliff is all about. Instead, Laurence
Olivier gives a sensitive, passionless portrayal that's totally unlike Heathcliff. That's why I wanted to yell at him:
"You missed the point!" The real guy would've made Olivier's life miserable for such a laughable imitation.
That...I can guarantee.
On other hand, Laurence Olivier's co-star Merle Oberson is no Catherine. She lets her wide-open eyes do the acting and is
never into her character. It's possible Merle never read the book during her preparation of the role. On deathbed,
she hasn't looked so healthy and alive.
As for the rest of everybody else, there's no point in beating them up for their lack of thespic abilities. Even David Niven
does a great job of never blending in, looking every bit the star of a daytime TV soap opera show. There's no passion, depth,
or understanding to any of their characters. They're merely given a script and asked to follow along with the production.
Like I said before, the movie only captures a smattering of Emily Brontë's story. It also ends at halfway through the book,
leaving a lot on the table with many characters and their relationships thrown out of the window. Thus, I can forget about
comparing and contrasting these two.
But I'll like to point out something else that's significant. As noted, Gregg Toland won the Oscar for the black-and-white
cinematography which is highly amusing due to the fake background scenery. What he failed to capture is the raw power and
beauty that are hidden in the moors. It's because the movie was never shot on location in England but Thousand Oaks, California,
along with the imported heathers. Also, there's no sense of isolation among the characters which was essentially the core theme
of the book.
All in all, they should've taken the risk to film Wuthering Heights by the way it was portrayed in the book.
Wyatt Earp (1994)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
The first of three epic flops in Kevin Costner's oeuvre, Wyatt Earp is an overwrought, poorly constructed
Western picture that's annihilated in every way possible when compared to Tombstone.
Lawrence Kasdan, not Kevin Costner, is the director, and with the exception of The Accidental Tourist, he hadn't done
anything significant since he ripped off the story from Return of the Secaucus 7
for The Big Chill. His
failure is showing big time in this dull Western picture. Somebody should've reminded the director that he's no John Ford.
It's not I mind the length but rather the direction. Watching Wyatt Earp for three plus hours, I had been asking
myself, "Is this movie getting anywhere?" because it never seemed to. There must be dozens of characters, and I've had a hard
time keeping track of them. In fact, I always forget Wyatt has two (or three or five) brothers, and I'm unable to
remember their names.
My problem with the acting is the artificialness. Dennis Quaid's performance is the worst. Having lost over thirty pounds for
the role, he looks desperate in trying to win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Hence, it's best to go with Val Kilmer
of Tombstone. Nobody is going to top that one. Kevin Costner is actually okay, but I hate it
when he acted like a retard as if he's in a porno film at the beginning before being transformed into a mature moustachioed adult.
Gene Hackman looks like a sell-out after winning the Oscar for Unforgiven because he's above
this dreck.
The others try too hard by making every moment bigger and more forced than it has to be. The longer the movie goes on,
the more fake the whole thing feels. That's why the ending, when the titular character said, "Some people say it didn't happen
that way," best sums up Wyatt Earp because most of what's shown has been fictional. Obviously, the big fanfare is
Tombstone, Arizona. Yet the movie never explains what's going on. It's rather about bad blood leading to the
gunfight. Okay, so...that's it?
All in all, there are countless Western pictures better than Wyatt Earp, and if it's going to suck, please just make
the running length to be 90 minutes or less, for Pete's sake.