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Waterloo (1970)

Rate: 4
Viewed: 9/11

Watloo
9/11: What a disaster Waterloo is.

When I was in middle school, we always had a social studies fair at the end of the year. Many male students took the shortcut of doing a military project by creating a verdant landscape, placing miniature soldiers on it, and calling the final product a battle of something despite not knowing the history behind it.

Well...that's exactly what the film feels like. Believe me, I'm no student of French history nor do I care about it although I know Waterloo was the final battle of Napoleon's military career. However, it was so long ago that nobody cares today.

The biggest mistake is Waterloo is so busy that I don't have the foggiest idea what the point of the battle is or what the circumstances are. I'm just resorted to the spectacular display of costumes, battle formations, and anything French. Make no mistake about it: the battle scenes are sometimes the best parts. I've never seen a formation of troops as shown in the film when the cavalry was riding around in a circle.

For a while, I've been confused by who the character Christopher Plummer is supposed to be and whether or not he's on the same side as the French. As a great actor as Rod Steiger is, he's unremarkable as Napoleon. Orson Welles, my, my...he sure has gained lots of weight, making an unnecessary cameo for only five minutes. You were once great, Orson.

The worst part of all is Wellington saying a one-liner and then I'm taken to the battle before Napoleon has a one-liner or two. Again, it's back to the battle. Then, Wellington with more one-liners. Back to the battle, and then to Napoleon with some more one-liners. It'll go on for approximately forty-five minutes which is crazy.

All in all, it's comical to know history does repeat because Waterloo was a massive box-office failure just like the outcome of Napoleon's last famous battle, causing Stanley Kubrick to abandon his plans for it by going with Barry Lyndon.