On W List of Movie Reviews
(For optimum viewing, adjust the zoom level of your browser to 125%.)
The Wizard (1989)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/11
2/11:
The Wizard is so bad that the Power Glove looks good in comparison.
My biggest motivation to revisit it is to see the most infamous scene when Lucas showed off his huge masturbator and said,
"I love the Power Glove. It's so bad." Indeed, yes. It was that fucking bad in real life.
Anyway, the film...*shakes my head* where to begin? There are so many cheesy moments that I thought cheese would literally
pour out of my DVD player. Fred Savage is awful, and he makes me want to punch him in the head. Christine Phillips
and Luke Edwards are equally bad. Given the sight of them hitchhiking from Utah to California, all I can think of is possible
child sex abuse victims.
Why the fuck is Fred Savage lugging his half-ton skateboard? I mean, is he really going to use it along with
other stuff he has in his knapsack of shit? Does anybody realize Jimmy has autism? Oh, I love the happy ending of
how video games can bring a family together, leaving me in tears...not.
I remember watching The Wizard back then at a theatre which was the first time Super Mario Bros 3, which
is maybe the most overrated game in NES history, was unveiled to the public. Today, it looks underwhelming. On the
other hand, the host of Video Armageddon has definitely consumed too much of crack cocaine.
All in all, The Wizard is a tug-of-war battle between Jimmy's mental problems and Nintendo product placements.