On H List of Movie Reviews
(For optimum viewing, adjust the zoom level of your browser to 125%.)
Hustlers (2019)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/26
2/26:
Nope...not even close.
It's more like a million of miles away. After the announcement of Academy Awards nominations came out,
Jennifer Lopez was pissed off about being snubbed for Hustlers. After viewing it
for the first time, I found her very average. Plus, she's too old, being nearly 50, with tons of makeup
on her face. And no...excelling in pole dance isn't enough! Have you ever seen how much better Jennifer
Lopez was in Selena? Hello!!!
A much bigger problem is Jennifer Lopez's refusal to bare herself, completely contradicting the
sine qua non of the stripper profession. Let's recall
My Beautiful Laundrette. Daniel Day-Lewis played a flaming
gay person, and that wasn't just for show. He actually french kissed a man. It's part of
his character! If Jennifer Lopez isn't going to fulfill the demands, why is she even in the film? In
comparison, Demi Moore went so far in Striptease even though her
performance wasn't good by any means.
As for the story which happened for real, it's not interesting and lacks depth. Okay, a bunch of Wall Street
guys are wooed, drugged, and robbed blind by strippers (many of them looked like men). And...? But let me ask
this painfully simple question: instead of breaking the law, why not marry one of them? But
noooo...Hustlers has to be a two-hour long music video with many repetitive shots about gold-digging
bitches who probably failed to complete high school. Meanwhile, Usher should be embarrassed of himself for
showing up at a strip club to make it rain. Imagine Denzel Washington doing the same, too.
When I read off the names of the cast on the cover until coming to this "Julia Stiles," I was like,
"Really...she plays a stripper? That's a laugh." Of course, I was right; she's actually an interviewer and
stunk at it. That's because she is a baaaaad actress. Give me a break when it comes to her sanctimonious eyes
as if she's Anne Heche for a "Brown" graduate with no experience in the real world. On the other hand,
Constance Wu sucks, refusing to strip as well. Who the hell is she anyway?
All in all, Hustlers is too shallow to muster any competition against
Showgirls, a much superior yet maligned film.