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Great Expectations (1998)

Rate: 3
Viewed: 10/25

GreatEx98
10/25: More like...Shallow Expectations.

The first half of the pretentious remake repeats many incidents in David Lean's film before taking a different direction. Ethan Hawke and Gwyneth Paltrow have no chemistry. They just happen to be two good-looking people without a trace of human feeling. The artwork by Ethan Hawke's character is pitiful.

Robert De Niro must have felt smart for a minute by telling everybody, "How about this: I stay submerged in the middle of the Gulf until the boy comes to me in his sailboat?" Like it ever happens. When Ethan Hawke first showed up with the ridiculous Justin Bieber haircut, I died laughing. Anne Bancroft going crazy with the makeup, especially the two lines over the eyes, is another hilarity.

As for the cinematography, it's disappointing by Emmanuel Lubezki's standards and a huge step down from Como agua para chocolate and A Walk in the Clouds. Both were directed by Alfonso Arau who obviously had a better feel for romance than Alfonso Cuarón who would admit Shallow Expectations was "a complete failed film." Psst...fucking stop focusing so much on colors, especially green.

All in all, Gwyneth Paltrow proves in Shallow Expectations that she's a bored model with no substance.