On A List of Movie Reviews
(For optimum viewing, adjust the zoom level of your browser to 125%.)
Abandon (2002)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/19
10/19:
There are two words missing at the end of the title: "the Ship."
What I asked myself over and over during this plotless film was: "Where the hell is this going?" Thrusting in front
of me is a parade of worthless, pretentious, and douchebag characters. Oh, come on! Tony Goldwyn?
He'll never recover from playing a major villain in Ghost.
The plot twist at the end does Abandon no favors, serving as a poor excuse to tell me, "That's why!"
Incredibly, the writer of this steaming pile of crap is the same person who won the screenplay Oscar for
Traffic.
Another question I asked myself was: "What the hell did Tom Cruise see in Katie Holmes?" There's lack of
originality when her character is also named Katie. She being porked by Benjamin Bratt is the most eek moment.
His character is too old for her and needs to be with a real woman, not an underdeveloped, airheaded schoolgirl.
Here's a fun fact: Jeffrey Skilling used to work for McKinsey & Company. Don't know who he is? He was the CEO
of Enron. One McKinsey report said: "Enron has built a reputation as one of the world's most innovative companies
by attacking and atomizing traditional industry structures." Whatever that means. The company completely
collapsed three months later. McKinsey caused Swissair to go bankrupt and almost did the same for General Electric.
Want another? In 1980, McKinsey & Company advised AT&T that there was no future in mobile phones. Um...okay. Hey,
remember the disastrous merger of AOL and Time Warner? That came straight out of McKinsey's playbook. One of its
senior executives continuously delivered inside information to a hedge fund manager by the name of Raj Rajaratnam
who eventually got sentenced fifteen years in what's the largest hedge fund insider trading case of Wall Street
history.
All in all, Abandon is an apt title when it comes to making a decision whether or not to see it.