A List of Movie Reviews
(For optimum viewing, adjust the zoom level of your browser to 125%.)
...And Justice for All (1979)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
1/04, 1/21
1/21:
Not many people know this, but for ...And Justice for All, Al Pacino received an Academy Award nomination for Best Actor.
His performance is on the same level with Serpico and
Dog Day Afternoon. The best part is the ending when Al
Pacino did the go-for-broke opening statement in just one take. When the judge is finally outraged, Kirkland yells, "You're
out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order! They're out of order!" Honestly, it was a lose-lose
situation for him, so why not? This is what he had been thinking all along.
The movie is sad and a tragedy. I wonder how often it happens for real in the justice system. Kirkland had two clients
on minor charges, but they wound up dead because of the slight legal screw-ups. Yet there's a judge who seems
superior to everybody, even the lawyers, and is about to get away with rape and the beating of a female who only has her word for
proof. Like Serpico, Kirkland is the lone sane person in an insane system.
One reviewer said the movie had too many subplots and they didn't add up to much. Wrong. That's the whole point of the
film: Kirkland has so many things going on at once that he begins to lose control of himself in the process. It's a difficult
job. I think a big mistake for him is sleeping with the woman because she's absolutely wrong for him as far as philosophical
differences go.
The cast gives good performances. In a rare appearance, Lee Strasberg reteams with Al Pacino for the second and last time.
If Carl Travers looks familiar to you, it's Dominic Chianese who played Johnny Ola in
The Godfather Part II.
Interestingly, he was Hyman Roth's messenger boy, hence the shocking photos? Two legends in TV history make their screen debuts.
One is Craig T. Nelson of Coach fame. It's ironical his character made a football analogy. The other is Jeffrey Tambor
who's extremely funny, going on to be even funnier as Hank Kingsley in
The Larry Sanders Show .
All in all, often real and sincere, Al Pacino is amazing in ...And Justice for All.
À bout de souffle (1960)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
9/15, 5/20
9/15:
Enormously influential, Jean-Luc Godard's first major motion picture À bout de souffle, which is
better known as Breathless, isn't anything special.
Mostly, what I see is the avant-garde editing (aka jump cuts). There's a nice scene of Jean-Paul Belmondo and
Jean Seberg walking on the streets of Paris while the others are surprised to see them. Not much of a plot occurs.
The continually-improvised script is evident during many conversations with the bedroom scene dragging
out for a long while.
Jean-Paul Belmondo plays a highly engaging character who might be the biggest chain-smoker ever, but he's the
loser type who can't stop touching his lips in a strange way. A pretty face with an iconic haircut that came way,
way before Mia Farrow, Jean Seberg isn't interesting enough to care about. Her character is one-dimensional, but
she makes for eye candy by hanging around Jean-Paul Belmondo. Sadly, life left Jean Seberg literally breathless
as she committed suicide at age 40.
All in all, the hype of À bout de souffle, a prime example of the French New Wave, may have been built up
too much for me, so I'll have to view it again later.
5/20:
One of the greatest films in French cinema, À bout de souffle immortalized Jean-Paul Belmondo and
Jean Seberg.
The first time I saw it, I didn't have a strong favorable opinion, and now, I begin to see why it's a remarkable
motion picture. Yes, the jump cuts are famous and many classic scenes are seemingly improvisational, but there's
a James Dean quality that's exercised by Jean-Paul Belmondo and Jean Seberg: infinite flexibility. It doesn't
happen much in films.
Actors have a limited space to move around in because they work with marks on the ground. It's easy to tell
they've rehearsed the scene plenty of times, but in À bout de souffle, the rules of movement are thrown
out of the window. On the other hand, the dialogue somewhat sucks, yet Jean-Paul Belmondo and Jean Seberg look
so cool that they're beyond fault. Hence, it's a timeless movie.
What's interesting about Michel is he, who's although a pathological liar, an inveterate chain-smoker, and a
cop killer with ADHD tendencies, seems perfectly at ease. Now, that's what I call a sociopath. Living in the
fast lane, he was bound to die sooner or later. Of course, Jean Seberg's character is totally attracted to his
bad boy persona. By the way, the writer who's interviewed is Jean-Pierre Melville, the director of
Le samouraï and L'armée des ombres.
All in all, À bout de souffle is as fresh and new as it was in 1960.
Abandon (2002)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/19
10/19:
There are two words missing at the end of the title: "the Ship."
What I asked myself over and over during this plotless film was: "Where the hell is this going?" Thrusting in front
of me is a parade of worthless, pretentious, and douchebag characters. Oh, come on! Tony Goldwyn?
He'll never recover from playing a major villain in Ghost.
The plot twist at the end does Abandon no favors, serving as a poor excuse to tell me, "That's why!"
Incredibly, the writer of this steaming pile of crap is the same person who won the screenplay Oscar for
Traffic.
Another question I asked myself was: "What the hell did Tom Cruise see in Katie Holmes?" There's lack of
originality when her character is also named Katie. She being porked by Benjamin Bratt is the most eek moment.
His character is too old for her and needs to be with a real woman, not an underdeveloped, airheaded schoolgirl.
Here's a fun fact: Jeffrey Skilling used to work for McKinsey & Company. Don't know who he is? He was the CEO
of Enron. One McKinsey report said: "Enron has built a reputation as one of the world's most innovative companies
by attacking and atomizing traditional industry structures." Whatever that means. The company completely
collapsed three months later. McKinsey caused Swissair to go bankrupt and almost did the same for General Electric.
Want another? In 1980, McKinsey & Company advised AT&T that there was no future in mobile phones. Um...okay. Hey,
remember the disastrous merger of AOL and Time Warner? That came straight out of McKinsey's playbook. One of its
senior executives continuously delivered inside information to a hedge fund manager by the name of Raj Rajaratnam
who eventually got sentenced fifteen years in what's the largest hedge fund insider trading case of Wall Street
history.
All in all, Abandon is an apt title when it comes to making a decision whether or not to see it.
Abbott and Costello
Meet Frankenstein (1948)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/16
6/16:
Technically a misnomer (it's not Frankenstein but his monster), Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein is my first
film for the comedy duo, and it's not funny.
As amazing as the horror icons are, I feel bored. They don't do anything for me. Taking his role too seriously, Béla Lugosi
always puts me to sleep whenever he makes his screen presence. No wonder why it was the last major picture for him. He went on to
work for Ed Wood, Jr., before dying of a heart attack as a result of his drug addiction eight years later.
The inside story is Lou Costello didn't want to do the film, calling it "crap." But when Universal flashed $50,000 in
front of his eyes, he changed his mind. I guess money always wins at the end of the day. By the way, I hate his sidekick
who's constantly mean to Costello.
All in all, I wonder if Abbott and Costello will be any good in other films, but I'm betting on "no."
About Last Night... (1986)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
About Last Night... has left me impressed.
It isn't a film about fake people but rather young adults with human feelings. What makes it a success is the supporting
performances by Elizabeth Perkins and James Belushi. Without them, Rob Lowe and Demi Moore will never make the film
work although they have chemistry and enough ability to hold their own.
James Belushi is loud, crass, and obnoxious, but he has slowly won me over time. Elizabeth Perkins is the better
version of Joan Cusack by being less annoying and more likable. Rob Lowe is one-dimensional but perfect for the role.
Demi Moore acts better than most pictures she has done.
David Mamet once again pens a great, if redundant, story. What makes About Last Night... different from others
is how enjoyable it is. However, the word "broad" is used too much, and the sex scenes are flat. The first half
is somewhat corny, but it get better during the second.
All in all, About Last Night... is simple and romantic with neither the fireworks nor the extravagance.
About Schmidt (2002)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
About Schmidt is a tale of two halves that are full of ups and downs.
Starting with the first one, it's the most perfect piece of work I can ask for. The setting is serene and calm which is
a refreshing change of scenery considering the junk I've been seeing lately that fails to capture what movies are supposed
to be about. Then, the second loses the momentum and thus has a lot of disappointing parts. I suppose the director's
intention is to spoil the mood after building it up so well.
When Warren Schmidt made a toast during the post-wedding celebration, he was in the midst of blurting out his true feelings
but didn't. Actually, in hindsight, lying through his teeth would've made the speech more comical.
How the film ended is impressive. I probably can relate to Warren but not everybody else. Masking his
past brings intrigue to the story because there's a lot to him that I don't know about.
Jack Nicholson gives one of the best performances. The role was meant for him. Advertised as a comedy, About Schmidt
is more of a drama to me. Ironically, when Jack Nicholson received a best actor award for drama, he lamented, "I'm a little surprised.
I thought we had made a comedy."
All in all, although not meant to be the next Death of a Salesman, About Schmidt is a moving, touching portrait
about a man's worthlessness when he takes the moment to reflect back on his life.
Above the Law (1988)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/02, 6/03, 1/04, 1/05, 11/08, 12/13, 1/20
11/08:
I remember when Above the Law came out, Steven Seagal became an instant household name.
It stood that way for the next three must-see Seagal classics: Hard to Kill,
Marked for Death, and Out for Justice.
Afterwards, the quality of his films began to subside, beginning with Under Siege, and
then he hit the nadir by starring in straight-to-DVD releases.
Regardless, Steven Seagal has always remained a memorable actor largely due to his distinctive style: the black-slicked hair
with a ponytail, the serious look in his eyes, the bone-breaking Aikido moves, how he holds the gun, and the way he runs like a girl.
They're the reasons why I love watching Steven Seagal's first four movies, and I'm always left entertained. Constantly,
I find myself revisiting them from time to time because they're fun to watch.
When I see the introduction in Above the Law, it makes me crave for a three-hour biopic of Steven Seagal's
fascinating life. His Aikido stuff is awesome, hence the reason for repeat viewings. Too often, macho films
have a hero take on five or more guys at once as an obligation to show what kind of badass he is. But when
Steven Seagal puts on a display, there's literally nothing like it. He takes the concept of mano a mano to another level.
There's one cool scene when he beat out a name from the loser who tried to run away from him. Then, the
heavyset white guy in black shirt came over to inquire about his friend before getting knocked down by Steven Seagal's single punch.
All in all, Above the Law is one of the best action flicks ever made, and it's a damn shame about what happened
to Steven Seagal's career.
12/13:
Steven Seagal still rules.
1/20:
The most entertaining part of Above the Law is Steven Seagal kicking everybody's ass.
What I like is it has a story with a lot of layers. Also, it's about a police officer doing the right
thing by exposing the sinister inner workings of the CIA even though he has to use illegal means to clear his name. Impossible
to miss is the excellent action scenes with lots of Aikido from Steven Seagal.
At the same time, there are good supporting performances by many such as Pam Grier, Henry Silva (who's well known for
The Manchurian Candidate via the fight scene with Frank Sinatra), Chelcie Ross,
Sharon Stone, Ronnie Barron, and Daniel Faraldo. Even Michael Rooker has a small cameo.
All in all, there's never been anybody like Steven Seagal before or since then.
Above the Rim (1994)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/03, 8/13
8/13:
Above the Rim comes close to having the best basketball scenes filmed although
Hoop Dreams is unbeatable in this department.
However, there are so many WWF-style moments in the Shoot-Out tournament that defy how the game is supposed to be
played with uncalled flagrant fouls. The organizers might as well take out the referees since they serve no purpose.
As for the acting, Tupac Shakur and Duane Martin are terrific. The former, who was a talented actor, has a
captivating presence in every scene he appears, and the latter is unbelievable for his basketball skills.
On the other hand, much can be done for Leon's Tommy Sheppard who makes for an underwhelming character. The more mysterious he
is, the better the film is. It's one of the fewest sore spots. The way he carried himself throughout, I don't see what the
big deal is. Marlon Wayans is unnecessarily forced to make a fool out of himself as Bugaloo. It takes a big bite out of the drama.
Although I find Kyle Lee Watson's attitude and selfishness annoying, there's a point that's well-taken.
All in all, Above the Rim is worth watching primarily for the basketball scenes.
Absence of Malice (1981)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
7/13
7/13:
Absence of Malice is a complicated film that deals with journalism ethics and defamation (in this case, libel).
Obviously, Sally Field's reporter character Megan, not Elliot Rosen (Bob Balaban), is the biggest villain. I
was hoping Megan would be thrown in jail for contempt of court; she makes me sick. Besides, I hate Sally Field who
stinks up the film and is like Jane Fonda: pretentious, ridiculous, and full of horseshit.
On the other hand, Paul Newman is very good and always looks great by the clothes he wears. His character is cool, calm,
and collected. Another performance that's not to be discounted comes from Wilford Brimley by doing a nice job of wrapping up
what the plot is about.
All in all, Absence of Malice moves slow but has valid points.
Absolute Power (1997)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/06
4/06:
Absolute Power is a passable film that's particularly weak when it comes to the story.
All I can say is "oh." It's not a disappointment, but the whole thing can be done better. I don't like how
caricatural the Chief of Staff is when she's expected to behave professionally during the scandal.
Recruited from the best of the best, the Secret Service agents don't look credible. The performances are fine, but
Scott Glenn is a much better actor than that.
All in all, Absolute Power adds nothing new in spite of Clint Eastwood's star power.
The Abyss (1989)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/21
9/21:
Overlong and sometimes technical but quite thrilling, The Abyss is a film I saw at a theatre in 1989, but
I didn't see it again until now which is the longer version.
Losing none of the power, it's an underwater picture that's Close Encounters of the Third Kind meets
The Day the Earth Stood Still. When I first watched
Terminator 2: Judgment Day and
Titanic back then, I knew where the groundbreaking work in special effects
and underwater photography came from, hence the Oscar win for Best Visual Effects.
The cast is terrific, but it's Ed Harris who makes everybody better. The way he's calm and collected, no matter
how bad the situation is, it's impressive. So is the battle between him and the mustachioed Michael Biehn. The
ending is special when Ed Harris came out of the alien ship to reunite with Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio despite
them publicly disowning the film ever since because of how tough and challenging the work was.
The concept of people breathing liquid is still not proven, but in the film, the rat that did was for real which
is called "oxygenated fluorocarbon fluid." Of course, Ed Harris couldn't do it, but being equipped with a space
helmet that was filled with liquid, he just held his breath for a minute. When Bud went down two miles deep, I
don't understand why it's necessary if the nuclear bomb hadn't been detonated.
The most dramatic scene is when Bud saved his wife. I thought why they were wasting a lot of time
before setting out for the moon pool. It had to be between three and six valuable minutes to prevent further brain
damage. As soon as she came out of it and then appeared fine, I had to say...absolutely not.
All in all, The Abyss is a well-made sci-fi picture with great acting and state of-the-art visual effects.
Across 110th Street (1972)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
Across 110th Street is one of the most violent movies I've seen from the early 70's.
It being placed in the Blaxploitation genre is curious but doesn't belong there for the most part. Yes, it has
a strong black cast. However, Anthony Quinn in the leading role negates the label. Had a black actor replaced him
to partner up with Yaphet Yotto, then yes...I would agree.
No matter what, Across 110th Street is a neo-noir all the way through that was mostly shot on
location in Harlem. I love the gritty realism. This is how New York City used to be back then with such
violence. Barry Shear has done an excellent job of handling two threads at the same time: the cops and the
bad guys hunting down those who ambushed seven men to steal over $300,000 from the Italian mob. There's also
some social commentary about black people not having a real opportunity to make out of the ghetto.
While the performances are strong across the board, Anthony Quinn steals the show as the ball-busting cop
whose ways are so antiquated that they have no place in today's society. Anthony Franciosa shows what kind
of animal a person can be, and others follow him without questioning his methods. His temper was like that for
real as well. Antonio Fargas shows why he was destined to play Flyguy in
I'm Gonna Git You Sucka.
All in all, it's best to think of Across 110th Street as a brutal combination of
Shaft and
The French Connection.
Across the Tracks (1990)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/25
5/25:
Where would Across the Tracks be without Brad Pitt?
Nowhere, of course, but it's worth watching. The rivalry between two brothers makes for a compelling story.
Billy is down in the dumps while Joe is driven and going to places. At some point, both see their fortunes
changed because the former happens to be faster than Joe in the 800m. Along the way are pressures from different
fronts: peer, school, work, and mother.
Brad Pitt, albeit 26 years old at the time of filming, shows early acting chops while Rick(y) Schroder looks
clearly younger than him and has the vibe of trailer trash. Their running scenes are plentiful, but 1:58 in the
800m isn't considered an elite time, let alone be enticing enough to receive a scholarship offer from Stanford
University. When they fight or get mad at each other, they're funny. By the way, Michael Stoyanov is among
the supporting cast and will go on to play Tony Russo in Blossom for five seasons.
All in all, Across the Tracks is realistic enough to be relatable for many viewers.
The Accused (1988)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/08
2/08:
The Accused is a good film that deserves a solid rating of '7'.
At the same time, there are nice moments which are tied together by weak threads. I don't think the performances by Jodie
Foster and Kelly McGillis are extraordinary, but they do a pleasant job of making the film work.
Then again, it's hard to believe Jodie Foster as a "rape victim" when it's obvious she, because it's
Jodie Foster, lacks credibility. I would've believed Kelly McGillis more if they swapped characters.
The conflict is the victim who's viewed as somebody who "asked for it" while the other side of the coin is "she was raped,
period." Strangely, the rape scene looks "entertaining" although it's not supposed to be. If the filmmakers can delete it and
present the case through oral description of how the crime went down, the movie can be compelling this way. Meanwhile,
the direction is somewhat lackadaisical. In many ways, it feels like a bona fide Lifetime Movie of the Week.
All in all, The Accused isn't bad, but Jodie Foster as a rape victim? Yeah, right.
Ace in the Hole (1951)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
12/12
12/12:
Kirk Douglas' hammy acting renders Ace in the Hole somewhat outdated.
However, the principles as outlined are true and pertinent today. Yet the plot suffers from lack of intelligence.
It's a situation that'll never happen. The driller, having nothing to gain from the incident, has zero reasons to jeopardize
his conscience in exchange for fame. Why would he do that?
If the reporter can see the trapped victim, then his wife (because she's too ugly, so who cares about her?) can and
should, too, along with his father...and a doctor...and a priest...and anyone else who's concerned about his life. That brings
up another, albeit crucial, point: does it make sense to give the guy a shovel, so he can try to dig himself out?
Anyway, I can't see a newspaper reporter taking 100% control of the situation and, at the same time, be elected deputy of
the town. The ending is too Hollywoodized for my taste. Once again, Kirk Douglas' hammy acting is too much.
All in all, Billy Wilder should've taken the Sunset Boulevard route for
Ace in the Hole.
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
4/03, 8/13
8/13:
It's a surprise Ace Ventura: Pet Detective was released in theatres almost two decades ago.
When the film initially came out, I thought it was an awful movie. Ten years later, I still felt the same. But today, my
opinion has improved considerably. I think it's because so much crap has been spewed out lately that
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective comes off as tame compared to them.
Jim Carrey, as much as I dislike him, does a great job of being physical to play his character, and he has many funny
moments. Points from my rating are taken off because of the excessive show-off of his sexual prowess. It's pathetic.
There are some impossible parts such as the box that's crushed by the elevator door, "Tom Ace" coming out of the restroom all
wet with torn pants, and Sean Young as Ray Finkle. Unfortunately, Hollywood keeps perpetuating the myth that transvestites
are natural born killers. Speaking of the Miami Dolphins, Dan Marino is awful and doesn't belong in the acting business.
All in all, because of Jim Carrey, Ace Ventura: Pet Detective is somewhat funny.
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/13
8/13:
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls isn't as awful as people think.
However, Jim Carrey is annoying most of the time and has definitely lost grip of himself. The storyline is okay.
Early on, there are a lot of funny moments, but the film loses momentum during the second half while becoming
gross. Easily, the funniest scene of the franchise is the birth of a "rhino baby."
All in all, the original is better although Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls is slightly funnier.
Act of Violence (1948)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/09
1/09:
Act of Violence reveals a linear plot that's devoid of thrills, suspense, and interest.
After finding out the true story behind the chase, I've stopped caring anymore because the main character's problems don't
resonate with me. In fact, he's better off dead, and that's how it happened after all.
Robert Ryan's character should've saved the time and trouble by ordering his superior to be court-martialed for war
crimes and conduct unbecoming of an officer and a gentleman. To follow through it is to avoid getting mixed up in a murder case.
Reading the closing screen credits, I didn't realize the director was Fred Zinnemann of High Noon
and From Here to Eternity fame. He's better than this although the performances
were bland and uninspiring.
All in all, Act of Violence is blah.
Action Jackson (1988)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/05, 2/24
5/05:
Having been probably signed immediately after showing off his impressive physique in
Rocky and Predator, Carl Weathers proves in
Action Jackson that muscular actors with minimal acting ability don't translate well for action flicks.
Hence, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone remain the only two guys capable of it while many scores
of wannabes had tried the same route but ultimately failed. This speaks volumes to their uniqueness.
The first question that came to my mind while seeing Action Jackson was: "Where's the action?" The answer
turns out to be: "There isn't any." On the other hand, Sharon Stone still can't act; it's hard to believe she
continued to get work. At least, her character died early to save me the grief. Outdoing Sharon Stone is Vanity
who's in dire need of acting lessons. Afterwards, her movie career went down in flames.
Today, Vanity receives peritoneal dialysis three times a week which has to be continuously maintained for the
rest of her life due to heavy drug abuse during the 80's. It won't be long before she dies. On the other
hand, Craig T. Nelson is decent, but he's unable to overcome the terrible script.
All in all, Action Jackson has a few good moments but fails to deliver most of the time.
2/24:
Action Jackson didn't make a star out of Carl Weathers.
Why is that? He has too much charisma but not enough anti-hero. The lousy script doesn't do him favors, either.
It's hard to follow the story. Peter Dellaplane is interested in exactly what? Plenty of good guys and baddies
are collected from various well-known action films such as Predator,
Lethal Weapon, Commando,
Die Hard, and Above the Law.
Then, we've got a lousy actress in Vanity playing a junkie who doesn't have a problem exposing her breasts
while performing at a night club. Jericho repeatedly says he doesn't want her, and then all of a sudden, he
develops interest. Well, good luck to him in dealing with Vanity's dialysis as a result of her drug abuse years.
Unsurprisingly, she died in 2016. By the way, it's strange to see many smoky rooms in the film; what did they
do...run a fog machine continuously?
All in all, Action Jackson tried to revive the Blaxploitation genre but did a good job of killing it
permanently.
Adaptation (2002)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
6/17
6/17:
Having seen a lot of his movies, I always thought of Nicolas Cage as an outstanding actor, and he was one of
the most talented to come out of the 80's.
It's a fine performance for him in Adaptation. Forget Chris Cooper. He's nothing special. His missing
front teeth are what won him the Oscar. So, bravo, Chris, for fooling everybody. But he's a good actor,
regardless. Forget Meryl Streep. Her reputation has taken a huge hit the last few years, making herself a
detestable WASPy-looking person. Meryl Streep tries too hard to be the center of the show when she should've
stayed out of the way.
Hence, it's Nicolas Cage's picture. Everything was working so well with him until the last fifteen minutes which
is so stupid and incomprehensible that it throws off the whole thing. Yet I have to say the story is cleverly
thought-out by Charlie Kaufman for the most part.
The worst crime is how Adaptation is awash in pretentiousness. It's almost like Being John Malkovich,
a film I really hate, all over again. That's why Spike Jonze tends to cater to a specific audience (by the way, who
the hell reads The New Yorker?), resulting in meager returns at the box office.
All in all, Nicolas Cage is the sole reason to watch Adaptation.
The Addams Family (1991)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/11
7/11:
Zzzzz.
The Addams Family is like pouring nitric acid on my brain. I hate all of the characters, and it's annoying
to watch Gomez being fancy and exciting. All I wanted to know is: "Can this nightmare end any sooner?"
Even though it's a 101-minute flick, that's too long to sit through. The plot is idiotic, and the whole time, I was wondering,
"Why don't they electrocute Fester to kick over his amnesia?" Despite the fact that everybody in the family likes dark incidents
and such, it's a wonder why nobody abuses drugs. Wake me up when somebody hires Thing for a job because he doesn't have a
social security number. To make matters worse, it's a fucking hand!
Is this the film to blame for starting the goth trend of stupid high school kids dressing up in black and pretending to
be saddled with mental and emotional problems? Goddamn, they must be feeling stupid by now.
All in all, The Addams Family makes the time crawl very slowly.
Addams Family Values (1993)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/13
1/13:
Slightly better than the original, Addams Family Values unfortunately retains characters that I can't stand.
And this time, they've decided to add an actress whom I've hated for years: Joan Cusack. Because the movie is
meant to be for kids, her cleavage is in full-frontal assault every scene she appears in. Meanwhile,
there are clever ideas which are better than whatever the crap Tim Burton can come up with.
All in all, only if the characters are likeable, Addams Family Values might have worked out well, but the racist
overtones are hard to overcome.
The Adjuster (1991)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
3/21
3/21:
The Adjuster is a tightly directed picture by Atom Egoyan that's better than nearly anything from
David Lynch.
Both have a similar mindset. However, the former's message comes through more clearly than the latter who
produces more pretentious crap than not. Hence, it's easier to get what Atom Egoyan is trying to say.
I like the flow even though the biggest mistake is almost half of the running time is wasted before the film
hits its stride, thanks to the strong performances put forth by Elias Koteas, Arsinée Khanjian (who's the
director's wife in real life), and Maury Chaykin.
The genesis of the project originated with Atom Egoyan's parents whose house was burned down. Because of the
incident, he was fascinated by the insurance adjuster's job, so he worked on the script from inside out. The few
themes touched on are alienation, isolation, and relationship. Sex seems "interesting" at first, but if there's no
feeling behind it, the first two outcomes will happen while the third is ruined as a result.
All in all, Atom Egoyan makes surrealism accessible through The Adjuster.
The Adventure of Sherlock
Holmes' Smarter Brother (1975)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
10/13
10/13:
"Quick, Watson...the hypodermic needle! I need to shoot myself up with cocaine."
It's what the real Sherlock Holmes would say if he saw The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother. At least,
the movie isn't dreadful like The Hound of the Baskervilles with Peter Cook
and Dudley Moore.
Yet it's billed as a comedy, so where are the jokes? What exactly do people see in Gene Wilder? When has he ever been
funny? I suppose they like him groping women's breasts all the time.
All in all, The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother is a certified turkey bomb.
The Adventurer (1917)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/07
11/07:
If there's nothing new to show in The Adventurer, then I see no point for Charlie Chaplin to make it.
All in all, Charlie Chaplin should try putting a bunch of firecrackers inside his ass before lighting them for fun, and
this time, I will laugh.
The Adventures of Ford Fairlane (1990)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/15
8/15:
Not a lot of people are familiar with Andrew Dice Clay, but he had a notorious reputation back in the 80's due
to his misogynistic, sexist stand-up comedy acts that would ultimately be the downfall of his career.
Enter The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, the only picture of his career in a leading role. Routinely panned
by critics, it was a box-office flop. Honestly, the film is a comedic gem. Having a lot of funny parts, it's a
mix of The Maltese Falcon and
This Is Spinal Tap in a crude way. There are moments that are meant
to be tacky, but they're clever.
Andrew Dice Clay incorporates a lot of trademarks from his stand-up shows. Also, there are amusing but
appropriately timed cultural references including one when he said he was banned from MTV. The best performance
goes to Maddie Corman as Zuzu Petals (if that doesn't sound familiar to you, it came from
It's a Wonderful Life). As an airhead rock 'n' roll groupie,
she's perfect.
All in all, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane may be dopey and misogynistic, but it's intelligent and funny.
The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/12
7/12:
I have to say there's an unintentional homosexual feel from The Adventures of Robin Hood which is why
I prefer Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.
The latter provides an edge to the action while the other has tons of poof. In fact, I like the Disney
cartoon more. Nonetheless, it's a good film. Errol Flynn, although he laughs too much like the others, does
well in the acting department. But I prefer Kevin Costner, Alan Rickman, and Michael Wincott to Errol Flynn, Claude Rains,
and Basil Rathbone, respectively.
There's a great deal of animal killing which is more than I expected. Speaking of it, Robin Hood gets
out of the trap rather easily through a deus ex machina. The baddies should've had him dead by foregoing the
public ceremony.
All in all, I can see why there's a spoof version of The Adventures of Robin Hood through
Robin Hood: Men in Tights.
Advise & Consent (1962)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
7/16
7/16:
Struggling with what rating to give Advise & Consent, I've decided on '7'.
It's a long, boring movie although it's well-directed. The suicide part because of homosexuality is what
bothered me the most. I guess being gay is so sinful that one has to kill himself as a means of escaping punishment.
Oh, please. It isn't a national tragedy.
Not much about lobbyists and PACs is covered. They're among the top reasons why the government is screwed up today. Members of
Congress work for them, not the people they're supposed to represent. I doubt things were any different during the 50's or
the 60's.
This is Charles Laughton's final film. He had a fine career and was one of the best actors ever. Burgess Meredith has a nice
performance as the lying witness. Henry Fonda phones it in, inexplicably disappearing and never coming back again.
All in all, politicians are among worst people on the planet because they'll sell their soul in a heartbeat just to
make a few bucks while getting the chance to wield power over people.
Affliction (1997)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
7/16
7/16:
Affliction features a typical Russell Banks story which is always about childhood abuse and awkward
relationships among relatives.
Maybe for the first time in James Coburn's career, he puts in some effort to act as somebody else other than himself.
As a reward, he received an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor during what's considered a very weak year. To be
fair, James Coburn isn't bad himself.
Nick Nolte steals the show. And, for the second time of his underrated career, he received the nod for Best Actor Oscar
nomination. That being said, Nick Nolte is the biggest reason to watch this film.
All in all, Affliction is a good, if unclear, drama piece.
After Dark, My Sweet (1990)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
After Dark, My Sweet may look like a winner in the neo-noir genre but is really not.
It's just that the plot sucks and is stupid. A fake private detective comes up with an idea to kidnap a child and hold him
for ransom? What year is this: 1932? That crap is outdated.
Because of his deep blue eyes, Jason Patric is easy to look at; when given a meaty role, he can be special. Unfortunately,
in After Dark, My Sweet, Jason Patric goes in circles. It's been the same thing every ten minutes. His
character keeps saying he isn't dumb; well, I've got news for him: he's that fucking dumb.
The unattractive Rachel Ward is terrible. She and Jason Patric have zero chemistry. All of a sudden, she
appears and drops her plan of crime on his lap without them knowing each other well enough? What's to come is
easy to predict. Handling the same material before, Bruce Dern looks bored.
All in all, don't be fooled by the critics because After Dark, My Sweet is a bad neo-noir picture
with dry ambience.
After Hours (1985)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/07
4/07:
Campy, weird, and unique, After Hours is a different kind of comedy.
It's a good break from the typical route many pictures often take. Martin Scorsese's style dominates throughout by taking
advantage of the script and allowing the concept to be logical in a circular manner.
Almost a one-man show, Griffin Dunne carries the show from start to finish with a fine supporting cast giving uniformly
excellent performances. Hence, Rosanna Arquette, Terri Garr, and John Heard are the three standouts.
There may be a slow start, but the film picks up the pace when the meeting occurs for a potential sexual encounter.
Then, it turns out the protagonist has to die for it. Finally, he realizes that sex isn't worth losing his life over
and that he must survive to get back home.
All in all, After Hours is fun to watch, thanks to Griffin Dunne.
Against All Odds (1984)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/08
5/08:
Against All Odds is, despite the title, an extraordinarily boring picture.
The story is mediocre, the acting is fair, and the direction is below average. Mixing football and neo-noir
doesn't pass for entertainment.
Jeff Bridges looks great given his beard and tanned body. Rachel Ward has something going great with her co-star,
but it fizzles out after ten minutes. With a bit of a hair problem, James Woods, no matter how hard he tries, is
ordinary. Ditto for many others.
Prior to seeing Against All Odds, I thought I would witness a rip-off of the famous scene from
From Here to Eternity, but I never saw it. How the story unfolds is
linear and one-dimensional.
All in all, Against All Odds strives hard for mediocrity and thus achieves it with ease.
Against the Wall (1994)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/14
8/14:
Here's a profound statement by one of the hostages during the Attica uprising in Against the Wall and, ladies
and gentlemen, let us all take a deep breath: "Michael. If I have to suck the cock of every man on this yard to get out
of here, I'll do it."
If that's the way to go, I guess that's the way to go. And here's another classic from an escaped prison guard:
"They've got fucking hostages strung up with their fucking cocks cut off and stuffed in their fucking mouths!"
Honestly, I found myself laughing more often than not while watching the film. That's not a good sign when
it's intended to be a serious drama about the famous prison riot in Attica, New York.
Anyway, it's impossible for me to sympathize with the prisoners because most of their rights had been revoked after they were found
guilty of their crimes. So, what do I care? On the other hand, correctional officer is definitely one of the toughest jobs
in the world. One simple look at Kyle MacLachlan's face says it all that he's not cut out for this particular line of work.
I got tired of his self-righteousness speeches although it's common among newbies to do that within their
first year on the job. The matter of fact is the system is impossible to overcome. So, either he needs to get used to it
or ship out and find another profession. By the way, there's a nice piece of tactical work by the New York State
Police and the National Guard to retake the prison. I'm sure it was planned out extensively.
All in all, Against the Wall is a mostly one-sided exploitation of what happened and relies a lot on star
power of Samuel L. Jackson to generate sympathy for the prisoners' cause.
Agatha (1979)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
1/17, 3/22
1/17:
Agatha Christie, the famous mystery writer, disappeared for eleven days in December of 1926.
No explanation was ever offered. Hence, Agatha presents a theory of what might have happened. The project
started out as a documentary for BBC, but the more Kathleen Tynan uncovered the details of the story, the more
feasible it was for producer David Puttnam to green-light the transition to a full-length feature film. The
Agatha Christie estate was against the whole thing and tried to have it stopped.
First of all, it's a sumptuous-looking picture. The cinematography is beautiful which was handled by Vittorio
Storaro who ended up winning the Oscar for Apocalypse Now during the
same year. The costumes and the in/exterior sets are first-rate. As a result, the first category netted Shirley
Russell an Oscar nomination.
Vanessa Redgrave is perfect for the role, nailing it well to fit the period of time. She makes the movie work by
complementing the photography. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for Dustin Hoffman. As a great actor
as he is, he's simply miscast, often looking stiff and inflexible. Also, he has no chemistry with Vanessa
Redgrave. There's an awkward dance scene that shows her towering over him.
Interestingly, Timothy Dalton gives one of the better performances I can recall from him. He was awful in
two James Bond pictures, but what he did in Agatha is infinitely better. At the time, Timothy Dalton
was in a serious relationship with Vanessa Redgrave which lasted from 1971 to 1986.
Although it's a nice history lesson, the story about the author isn't interesting to follow. The pace is glacial,
and by the time things become clear, it's too late. Then, the movie ends. All of it can be attributed to Dustin
Hoffman for being too difficult on the set, causing many rewrites and letting the film run over budget and schedule.
All in all, having a more developed story while cutting out Dustin Hoffman, Agatha would've been better.
3/22:
Agatha somewhat works but doesn't succeed on the whole.
Straight off the bat, the photography by Vittorio Storaro is spectacular and therefore Oscar-worthy. It's what
sustains the film throughout. But the sole nomination went to Shirley Russell for Best Costume Design. To be fair,
Vittorio Storaro got his for Apocalypse Now during the same year.
Then, there's the mystery of Agatha Christie's disappearance for eleven days (December 3-14, 1926). Nobody knows
to this day what happened or why. The film only presents a theory. One plausible explanation is the famed author
was so frugal that it alienated her husband to the point of initiating an affair with his 25-year-old secretary
Nancy Neele whom he would later marry. But most likely, Agatha Christie took the time to re-evaluate herself and
the marriage. There may have been a plan in place to embarrass her husband at the same time in the hopes of
getting him back.
The abandoned car with Agatha Christie's clothes left in the back seat did happen. Also, the lake was dragged, and
over 15,000 police officers and volunteeers searched the countryside for her body and whatever else. It was the
largest manhunt in UK history with airplanes being utilized for the first time ever. Arthur Conan Doyle once gave
a clairvoyant a pair of Agatha Christie's gloves to find out her whereabouts.
Agatha Christie did stay at the Old Swan Hotel of Harrogate under the name of Theresa Neele from Cape Town,
South Africa, and was finally discovered by her husband in the hotel dining room as she walked inside, took her
place at the table, and began reading the newspaper which headlined her disappearance. Afterwards, the public
reaction was largely negative, thinking the disappearance was a publicity stunt given the large amount of
resources that were wasted on her.
As for the film, the plot is thin. I'm torn as to whether Dustin Hoffman was okay or completely miscast. Either way,
his character is 100% fictional. Merely providing her looks, Vanessa Redgrave is no better. Their chemistry is nil.
However, the rest of the supporting cast including Timothy Dalton passes muster.
All in all, Agatha is a well-shot period picture that gets me in the mood despite the pointless drama.
The Age of Innocence (1993)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/08
8/08:
Martin Scorsese should stick to what he does the best: making Robert De Niro gangster pictures.
The Age of Innocence is an unbelievably poor film that I could've been fooled thinking Brian De Palma did the
film instead. Mainly, it's the extravagant, lavish backgrounds and interior pieces that take away my attention while I'm
tortured by the failed chemistry among poorly developed characters and tiresome plot which has been done countless times.
Having done better in A Room with a View, Daniel Day-Lewis' talent is wasted
by working with two of the most terrible actresses in Hollywood: Michelle Pfeiffer and Winona Ryder. These two cannot
act their way out of a piss-soaked paper bag. What passion is there between Newland Archer and Ellen Olenska? No, hand and foot
fetishes don't constitute it. Although her character's name sounds Transylvanian, Michelle Pfeiffer is decidedly American in looks.
I like to think of The Age of Innocence as an excuse to re-enact
A Sunday Afternoon on the Island at La Grande Jatte which was actually painted in Paris, not New York City as they want
me to believe. What happens much of the time is the back-and-forth between different relationships against the lush
cinematography: Archer and Ellen, Archer and May, and an occasional visit to the pretentious elderly "spiritual" advisor.
Truth be told, I started the film during the first week of August but didn't finish it until a month later because it
was so uninteresting and slow. Many times, I had been confused while trying to keep track of the characters' names because
I didn't know who's who. The ending says it all: a pure waste of time. If I want to read a novel, I'll read one, and
if I want to watch a movie, I'll watch one. But The Age of Innocence is like reading a book.
All in all, The Age of Innocence should be called The Age of Snobbery in Martin Scorsese's New York.
Agnes of God (1985)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/20
2/20:
Shot primarily on Canadian locations of Berthierville and Montreal, Agnes of God reconfirms why I'm an
atheist and how little I think of any organized religion.
What we have here is an unbelievably dumb girl who killed her baby and got away with it, thanks to Canada's
notoriously lenient criminal justice system (see Karla Homolka). Who cares if she's a nun? It shouldn't be a factor.
Trying to figure out the identity of the deceased baby's father is a pointless exercise. My chief complaint is it
took so long to get to the truth after enduring a great deal of babble from all sides. More
sickening is that these nuns do nothing all day when they should get a job and live in the real world.
Fancily dressed with furs, Jane Fonda is the worst. For an aerobic fitness champ, she has to chain-smoke
throughout the film. She's also a fraud for playing a psychiatrist whose methods are so unethical that place her
client in psychological danger more often than not. At the same time, she makes the mistake of letting Mother Miriam
Ruth (Anne Bancroft) take control of the situation when she should've banished her from the room. The psychiatrist
that Richard Burton played in Equus would've handled Agnes (Meg Tilly) better with
satisfactory results.
The mother superior's behavior is typical. She isn't dumb but is obviously brainwashed, preferring to protect the
church at all costs by believing in what she wants despite the mounting evidence against her. And forget
Agnes...she's hopeless and stupid beyond repair. Neither Anne Bancroft nor Meg Tilly should've received an Oscar
nomination for their performances.
All in all, a bad imitation of Equus, Agnes of God is manipulative and
wastes too much time when it's been clear that Agnes was the murderer from the get-go.
The Agony and the Ecstasy (1965)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/06
6/06:
One thing I'm delighted about The Agony and the Ecstasy is that it got made in the first place given the
nature of the subject.
I don't mean it's macabre, profane, or anything like that. Rather, it's a fascinating
biopic about Michelangelo and his relationship with the church during an important period of the Italian Renaissance.
From an overt standpoint, it lacks entertainment although I found the book exciting to read. As a matter of fact, author
Irving Stone also wrote Lust of Life which brought fame to Vincent van Gogh for the first time ever.
Pope Julius and Michelangelo are well-played by Rex Harrison and Charlton Heston, respectively. Carol Reed has done
a sublime job of translating the book on screen. The introduction is deserving because Michelangelo was larger than life and one
of the most fascinating people the world has ever known. Another thing I love is the sumptuous costumes.
All in all, The Agony and the Ecstasy is a great film that's buoyed by excellent acting.
Air America (1990)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
Sure, Air America has Mel Gibson and Robert Downey, Jr., but I kept passing it over for some reason
until now.
After seeing it, I have to say that I'm not surprised. It's a terrible movie that loops many scenes
constantly. The characters are in the air. Then, they are on land. Up, down...up, down...
Come on, that's a waste of my time. And for what? I can't believe how everything looks so modern for the period
which is supposed to be 1969.
There's no story. Sure, an illegal drug operation is going on during the Vietnam War, but why
the comedy and the stupid hijinks? All of a sudden, Corinne Landreaux and her people need to be taken away
from the disaster area they're stuck in. If that's the film's goal, what's the point of sitting through two
hours of nothing?
Regardless, it helps to have Mel Gibson and Robert Downey, Jr., on board. They're marquee stars because of their
ability to keep the show moving along. The latter actually did the stunt when he was hung in the air during
the helicopter ride across Thailand. A big mistake is giving Art LaFleur too much screen time. He ruins the
film, and it's no wonder why his character had to die out of the blue.
All in all, Air America can't figure out what it's trying to be in terms of genre or message.
Air Force One (1997)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
Harrison Ford isn't in The Sum of All Fears?
No problem. I'll get my fix by watching Air Force One. Pretty much, Harrison Ford is Jack Ryan, but
unfortunately, he looks more like George Bush the idiot savant. The action scenes are riveting, and there's
plenty of fun when he has eye of the tiger just like the movie poster. However, there are some negatives.
One, the planes and jets, when they're airborne, look fake, and hence, everything that happened up there
doesn't appear convincing.
Two, nobody's clothes are trashed which means the wind force isn't strong enough.
Three, Gary Oldman stinks up the joint with his usual one-dimensional performance. It's apparent he was trying too
hard to imitate Alan Rickman's Hans Gruber. Whenever Gary Oldman goes berserk, he looks stupid and comical.
Four, there's too much of Gary Oldman but not enough Harrison Ford.
Five, the patriotism displayed by the characters is nauseating. I know the United States is a great
country, but can it already.
Six, the president's life isn't worth saving these days. Hence, the idea of people feeling obligated to die
for him is sickening. Of course, I'll root for Harrison Ford, but if it's George Bush the idiot savant, I
prefer him dead.
Seven, the actress who plays the President's daughter is a poor choice.
Eight, Glenn Close as the vice president doesn't appear credible.
Still, the film isn't bad, and the story holds up well.
All in all, Air Force One is a mild treat because I'm a Harrison Ford fan.
Airborne (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/12
11/12:
I saw Airborne in 1993 when it was playing at theatres.
After twenty years, wow...that's a long time, it's still not bad, even for a low-key picture. In fact,
Airborne probably has the best rollerblading scenes ever. It's the chief reason for the revisit.
Shane McDermott's performance is impressive because he walks a fine line between cool and corny. That's a tough feat, but
he does it well.
All in all, Airborne is no Point Break but manages to be an effective,
quick ninety-minute fun flick.
Airheads (1994)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/04, 7/13
7/13:
Airheads is a mix of funny and (a lot of) dumb.
The first couple of times I saw the movie, I thought it was stupid. But Airheads has surprisingly aged well over time.
I can now see how the witty lines help keep the pace going. I've laughed many times because it's either stupid or funny.
Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi, Adam Sandler, Joe Mantegna, Nina Siemaszko, and Michael McKean contribute a lot to the comedy.
Although the latter stars and this is a rock 'n' roll picture, I'm disappointed to see no
Spinal Tap references.
It's unrealistic when the three lead characters are waving their Uzis all over the place and are able to escape unharmed.
So, this brings up an important question: if the characters are played by somebody else other than Brendan Fraser, Steve
Buscemi, and Adam Sandler, will the concept still fly? Also, what will happen if their music actually sucks? Anyway,
the whole SWAT thing is weak. Michael Richards is painful to watch. He always acts like a retard in every film.
All in all, Airheads may be no Shakespeare, but it works for a brain-dead comedy picture.
Airplane II: The Sequel (1982)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
5/05
5/05:
Plainly awful, Airplane II: The Sequel is a déjà vu of the original without anything new to add.
There's no humor but a stupid repeat of the same plot. The cast is terrible. Even Lloyd Bridges can't save it.
I want to torture Stephen Stucker who's a fucking arrogant asshole.
Remember the scene when Striker narrated his sad story to the lady. While listening to him, she got
seasick, proceeded to vomit in a bag, and shriveled up until she's nothing but a skeleton. Guess what? It's exactly how I
felt while watching the film.
All in all, Airplane II: The Sequel deserves to be blown into smithereens.
Airplane! (1980)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/04, 3/05
3/05:
Overladen with boring spoofs, the jokes in Airplane! are dry as a bone.
There are a couple of good moments, but most of the time has been wasted on feeble attempts at humor. The
eggs-in-the-mouth thing is too lame.
Like Hot Shots!, Lloyd Bridges barely manages to save Airplane! from being labeled
a complete stinker. In the meantime, I'm willing to fork over money for Stephen Stucker to be administered thousands of paper
cuts and then tortured with bath salts for hours and hours.
Here's a memo to Hollywood: when making a comedy, they should learn how to be subtle. Speaking of the obvious, there are a lot of
easy-to-spot crappy visual effects such as the padded block on one guy before he got stabbed in the back and the
strings on Striker who pretends to be Superman.
All in all, Airplane! isn't "one of the top ten funniest" but "one of the top ten unfunniest" pictures made.
Airport (1970)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/08, 3/20
8/08:
Although I've seen Airplane! and
Airplane II: The Sequel, which are equally awful, several times,
I hadn't visited Airport until now.
I now declare it the king of disaster pictures because it's that good. The suspense is exhilarating
and exciting. Until the moment disaster strikes, the heavy drama is what makes the movie intriguing, gripping, and
not all that different from From Here to Eternity.
The performances are excellent, and the standouts are Dean Martin and Helen Hayes who won the Oscar for Best
Supporting Actress. Burt Lancaster and George Kennedy are pretty good themselves, too. One of the best scenes is when
Dean Martin's character was asked why the plane was turning around and he subsequently gave his explanation in gibberish
aeronautic language just to avoid creating an alarm among the passengers. It's smart of him, I must say. The other is
how Ada Quonsett the cunning con made her way from the bathroom to inside Boeing 707.
There are plenty of films that prefer to go straight to the disaster within fifteen to thirty minutes from the beginning. But
not in Airport...this one takes a while by opting for the same route as
Titanic. A great technique is putting
together two shots of people talking to each other when they're on the phone, radio, etc. This device has been poorly
implemented many times in the past, but it's brilliantly, flawlessly, and purposefully done here.
Another thing I love is the teaching moments: how aviation works, how to best handle an imminent airline disaster, and how
to react in certain situations. Looking at the passengers' etiquette inside the airplane, I marvel at how different it is
as compared to the people nowadays which has been thoroughly ghetto.
All in all, Airport has it all: drama, story, suspense, and unpredictability.
3/20:
The first time I saw Airport, I thought it was a terrific motion picture, getting '10' from me, but now,
the flaws are apparent.
The movie runs far too long; the soap opera during the first ninety minutes makes it hard for me to stay patient, but once
the bomb is put in the plane, it's when things finally take off. Hence, it's the king of disaster pictures,
jumpstarting the genre.
But yes, in hindsight, the little stories play a big part of what's to come, making the characters look at life
differently. They're true heroes who happen to be everyday people. It's what makes Airport a compelling,
realistic film althought it might be boring, slow, and dated to some people.
There are strong performances, but the big winner is Helen Hayes as Ada Quonsett, netting herself an Oscar win. Really,
my favorite is Dean Martin. He's special and should've gotten an Oscar nomination. Burt Lancaster is superb, and
George Kennedy is a charmer. It's the final performance for Van Heflin who was a fine actor.
All in all, flawed or not, Airport is an excellent disaster picture.
Airport 1975 (1974)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/08
8/08:
Made and released in 1974, I wonder why it's called Airport 1975.
In many ways, the film is a disaster, and I'm not even talking about the airline disaster per se. Although the first half hour
is hilarious and camp, it quickly goes downhill afterwards. The characters are loathsome, and the plot is stupid. Momentum
dies after a small jet collides with the Boeing 747, and the ending is as predictable as ever.
Charlton Heston, Karen Black, George Kennedy, Gloria Swanson, Linda Blair...why do I feel I'm reading
off a list of C-list celebrities...Sid Caesar, Myrna Loy, the insatiably horny Erik Estrada, and Jerry Stiller all star in this
crapfest. Oh, my goodness...Linda Blair. Her performance is so painfully bad and cheesy that it's infamous enough. Whenever
I see Karen Black's pupils, the probability of her eyeballs switching places is exponentially multiplied.
When the Boeing 747 is flying during the rescue mission, I strangely don't see a hole inside the cockpit, and obviously
from there, the scene seems to take place in front of a traveling matte. The idea of a stewardess being the
only one who's asked to fly the plane is ludicrous to believe. Why not ask the passengers if they know how to or
maybe have some flying experience? It's probable a few may have a private pilot's license or had flown while in the armed services.
When one of the passengers said he saw fuel leaking from the wing, he ended up being treated like a Jew by the Gestapo. From
that point onward, I stopped caring and wanted the plane to crash over the Rocky Mountains. Oh, my...the lines. They're
unbelievable such as:
"But it's so exiting. The people are so interesting."
"Or worse!" in response to "Oh, you mean an actress?"
"One nine zero."
"I can do wonders in thirty minutes."
"I won't take poisoned food."
The radio talk between Charlton Heston and Karen Black sounds like an unintended foreplay. By the time the plane lands, the
passengers are frantically rushed out as if the plane is going to explode any time soon, yet Murdock and Nancy walk leisurely
down the steps. I take it as the passengers are nothing but a mere inconvenience.
All in all, if not for the first thirty minutes, Airport 1975 would've been among worst pictures made.
Airport '77 (1977)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
8/08
8/08:
Airport '77 is an improvement over the disastrous Airport 1975 as there's a
noticeable upgrade in the quality of the cast.
Instead of C-list celebrities, the cast is filled with A-list stars. Also, out is camp, and in is serious. The handling
of the disaster is better and more interesting and professionally done as soon as the plane crashes somewhere in the Bermuda
Triangle.
From that point forward, suspense, which is filled with gripping moments, and unpredictability take over. At the same
time, Airport '77 makes for a good promotion film for the Navy. The performances are great, but it's
Lee Grant who's the Kate Capshaw of the show, souring my mood whenever she appears. It's a relief her character died
during the crash.
One aspect I didn't like in Airport 1975 is the lack of participation from passengers
during the emergency situation. It's thankfully remedied in Airport '77 to show respect by letting them do whatever
they can do to help.
All in all, I prefer Airport '77 over Airport 1975, but the original is still
unbeatable.
An Alan Smithee Film:
Burn Hollywood Burn (1997)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
11/03, 5/08
5/08:
Imagine my surprise when I came across a VHS copy of An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn at a flea
market.
It was like finding plutonium in the middle of a godforsaken desert. The comments "Hilarious!," "Outrageous!,"
and "One of the funniest movies in ages!" are splattered all over the cover. What the hell are they talking about?
It's nothing but a soporific dreck which revolves around the missing reel of an upcoming crappy Hollywood blockbuster.
I want you to imagine a fan on the ceiling. The more the chatter comes from the characters, the faster it spins.
By the time Whoopi shows up, shit begins to hit the fan. When the two black nitwits appear, the shit is hurled
farther than ever. The moment Sylvester Stallone appears, the fan is ready to collapse. It overheats when Eric
Idle does this itsy-bitsy spider thing with his hands. Finally, the fan has come out from the ceiling and is
therefore covered in total shit by the moment Ryan O'Neal shows his face after receiving a fellatio.
Incidentally, once upon a time, there was a comedian who became well known by mocking
Jaws: the Revenge, and his name was Richard Jeni. Years later, he shot
himself in the head inside his West Hollywood bedroom. Somewhere, Michael Caine is laughing.
All in all, An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn is an ungodly mess.
Albino Alligator (1996)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
9/10
9/10:
The strong acting from the ensemble cast renders Albino Alligator a watchable, gripping picture.
Unfortunately, the closer I'm to the end, the worse it gets. The story is manipulative by trying to force me to
accept the conclusion that allows Dova to get away with the murders because, obviously, it's Matt Dillon.
Kevin Spacey, the golden boy director, tries to push me to think of Dova and his co-conspirators as likeable
characters due to their ability to create Tarantino-esque conversations. At the same time, he desperately wants
to put the H in hip. But I am sorry, Kevin, it's just...not...working. Meanwhile, it's demeaning to see Faye
Dunaway's character and others be teased about while their lives are at the mercy of bad people if they don't
comply with their demands.
All in all, Albino Alligator is a stupid movie with a sickening ending that represents Kevin Spacey's
hubris in the worst way.
Alexander (2004)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
3/06
3/06:
Alexander is one of the worst pictures I have ever seen in my life.
My goodness...what the hell happened to Oliver Stone? This is the same guy who directed Platoon,
Born on the Fourth of July, and JFK. I had no idea
he was that drunk. Everybody is awful. Whatever their characters were saying, I had no idea.
Angelina Jolie, the consummate prostitute, acts like a slut. Colin Farrell, the pretentious Irish actor, plays
the non-Irish Alexander. Anthony Hopkins is pompous as a full-of-shit narrator-philosopher. Val Kilmer channels
Jim Morrison by downing gallons of Bacchus wine.
All in all, Natural Born Killers was good,
Any Given Sunday was bad, and Alexander is an "oh...my...God."
Alexander the Great (1956)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/09
3/09:
Although it's better than Oliver Stone's version, Alexander the Great is a flat picture with neither the
imagination nor the excitement of Braveheart.
Although the best parts are costumes and the background which includes buildings, I wish I can say the same for the
battle scenes, but they look pitifully mediocre and lack realism. The cast is good; however, stale performances abound.
Richard Burton, the lone standout, holds his own well, but it's disappointing that he had to work with such inferior material.
The rivalry between Alexander the Great and Philip II of Macedon is interesting, but it's not convincing enough.
The film's biggest advantage over Alexander is the dialogue which is never loquacious. Yet
it needs more sharpening in terms of wit, relevance, and power.
All in all, Charlton Heston, who turned down Richard Burton's role, summed it up perfectly, "Alexander is the
easiest kind of picture to make badly."
Alfie (1966)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/14, 6/21
3/14:
What I expected from Alfie was an entertaining sex romp comedy, but it turns out to be a dark picture about a
professional lothario who treats women like flagstones.
Wonderfully played by Michael Caine in a role that shot him to international stardom, Alfie takes advantage of women for
certain tradeoffs such as a foot job, dry cleaning, a place to stay, etc., all for gratis by providing them ephemeral
happiness and sex. Along the way, he unintentionally impregnates two women before abandoning them and induces one
to have an abortion in his kitchen.
The picture may be repulsive and offensive, and believe me, I was. But Alfie was actually ahead of time,
predating Carnal Knowledge by a good five years. There are many salient points that
ring true today. It's a fascinating portrayal of how women are treated as mere sex objects.
Again, Michael Caine does a brilliant job by playing the unfeeling, emotionless lothario who only cares about himself and
his needs. He demeans women in a certain way by ordering them about and making criticisms how they should do things
the proper way. At the same time, he constantly refers them as "it," not "she."
While Alfie is doing all of that, I can see how the women have been reduced to nothing, losing their self-esteem
which makes Alfie for a depressing viewing. On the other hand, the narration is superb, and I love the writing which was
penned by Bill Naughton.
All in all, many will be offended by Alfie, but it has to be seen from a different perspective about the mistreatment
of the female sex.
6/21:
I'm still flabbergasted at the critics for thinking of Alfie as a comedy.
It's certainly not. Instead, Alfie is a dark, depressing film about a self-centered lothario. The more women Alfie
takes advantage of, the more degrading he becomes, choosing to view them as objects to serve his needs. Midway, he
starts to refer them as "it" as in "it's in love," "it washes them," and "it can cook, too."
There's no question Michael Caine is brilliant. Scoring the first Oscar nomination of his career, he's beautiful when
it comes to the delivery of the English language. Of course, Bill Naughton's Oscar-nominated screenplay is a major part of it.
He also makes a strong case against abortion after one casual sex encounter.
All in all, Alfie is the film that made Michael Caine an international star.
Alice Sweet Alice (1976)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/16
12/16:
Even though it looks British, Alice Sweet Alice, which was originally titled Communion and then re-released
as Holy Terror to cash in on Brooke Shields' rising fame, is a low-budget American slasher picture that takes place
in Paterson, New Jersey.
What I like the most is the style. It has a good pace which is never quick. The photography is beautiful for an
independent picture. There's a unique-looking guy who could've played Uncle Fester. His real name was
Alphonso DeNoble, a nonprofessional actor who weighed over 400 pounds, passing away two years afterwards at the age of 31.
Linda Miller, who plays Alice's mother, is actually the daughter of Jackie Gleason of The Honeymooners fame.
She was married to Jason Miller, who's well known as Father Damien in The Exorcist,
and is the mother of Jason Patric. Apparently, Linda Miller has her father's looks.
Although Alice Sweet Alice starts off well, it loses momentum by the time Alice is taken to the police station for
a lie detector test. From there on, I've lost care. The final twenty minutes is a doozy, killing the movie for good.
Ripping off the concept of a girl in red raincoat from Don't Look Now doesn't help, either.
There's a bit of Psycho in a couple of scenes, hence the homage through the movie poster
during the wake.
Paula Sheppard was too old to play Alice who's supposed to be 12. She was 19 at the time. By the way, it's Brooke Shields'
first film, but she's not in it that much. She'll appear in a controversial picture
Pretty Baby two years later.
All in all, Alice Sweet Alice has some redeeming qualities and isn't bad for a horror picture, but the story is
dumb for the most part.
Alien (1979)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
8/03, 5/08, 11/19
5/08:
Alien is undoubtedly one of the best sci-fi horror pictures ever made although it has a couple of flaws.
The acting is very good, and I love how they bring out realism, making it a terrifying film to watch, along
with the visually pleasant cinematography. Some scenes are scary but not in macabre or grotesque way...it's just terror in the
pure sense.
However, the biggest problem is the deliberate slow pace. I've gotten bored when trying to get through some parts.
At times, there's an overuse of flashing lights which can be annoying and headache-inducing. People still overlook
the most revolutionary aspect which is a heroine beating the unbeatable, hence no Oscar nomination for Sigourney Weaver.
All in all, Alien is And Then There Were None meets
2001: A Space Odyssey.
11/19:
For a long time, I thought Aliens was better than Alien, but after watching both
recently, I'm changing my mind: the original is unbeatable.
For starters, because of the deliberate slow pace, it's one of the scariest movies made as the story plays out like
And Then There Were None in outer space. The acting is very good, coming from an
all-star cast which includes Sigourney Weaver in her first starring role, Tom Skerritt, John Hurt, Harry Dean Stanton, Ian Holm,
Yaphet Kotto, and Veronica Cartwright.
For the first time ever in cinema history, Signourney Weaver plays a female hero by going against the
alien. It's a role that will define her career, and therefore, Sigourney Weaver should've gotten an Oscar nomination
which got made up to her after the sequel.
Oftentimes, monsters can either look corny or ridiculous, but in Alien, the creature (Xenomorph) is the most impressive
ever shown, setting a gold standard that has to be matched going forward. The other film I can think that did
is Predator. Ironically, the fourth sequel of the franchise is Alien vs. Predator.
There are great scenes, but the most famous is when a baby alien burst out of John Hurt's chest. It's scary and frightening at
the same time. What's remarkable about the moment is his transition from laughing at a joke to being in immense pain. Meanwhile,
I have to say the revelation of Ian Holm's character as an android came to me as a surprise.
All in all, if you can survive Alien and The Exorcist, you'll be able to go through
other horror films rather easily except for maybe The Fly from 1986.
Alien 3 (1992)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/03, 5/08
5/08:
Talk about bad.
Not much goes right in Alien 3. I hate all of the characters, and Charles Dutton literally makes me want to jump
into the movie and kill him.
What were the writers thinking when they decided to eliminate Hicks and Newt? There's nothing else to look forward to. The
insipid dialogue is grating. In fact, I won't be surprised if at least 50% of it was filled with curse words.
The alien looks fake. The reason why the first two pictures worked is the aliens looked real and scary. Hey, I have
a dumb question: if Ripley cannot be killed by the alien, how about her killing it, huh?
All in all, Alien 3 is trash.
Alien: Resurrection (1997)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
5/08
5/08:
If I thought Alien 3 was bad, Alien: Resurrection is infinitely worse.
Nothing works. Setting the record for having an ensemble of the worst thespians alive (Dan Hedaya, Brad Dourif,
Ron Perlman, and Winona Ryder) in the same film is too much. Did Sigourney Weaver come back for the money?
Is that the reason why? The idea of cloning her character from the dead by blood is ludicrous.
I hate the special effects. The aliens look horrible as they resemble Terminators. If you ask me what
the story is about, I don't rightly know.
All in all, Alien: Resurrection, just like the previous sequel, is too far removed from the franchise and should
be avoided at all costs.
Aliens (1986)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/03, 5/08, 11/19
5/08:
If you thought Alien was nothing, wait until you see Aliens.
It has more aliens, terrifying moments, and heart-pounding scenes than the original. In short, Aliens encompasses
Alien in every aspect, and the special effects are spectacular. The main difference between the
two is the original has more chemistry and better acting while the second part has quicker pace and is scarier.
Sigourney Weaver became the first major star to be a heroine during the original, but it's Aliens where she makes her
mark as the ultimate female warrior. I like the professional relationship between her character
and Hicks as he shows respect for her opinions and makes them count.
What sets up James Cameron as one of the best directors ever is he's able to harness the power of CGI without going
overboard by allowing it blend with acting and story to deliver a compelling film. Look no further than
The Terminator, The Abyss, and
Titanic.
All in all, everybody knows that sequels suck, but it's not true for Aliens.
11/19:
After seeing Alien and Aliens recently, I have to say the original is better.
The primary reason is the acting is way off. Also, Aliens isn't taut or gritty like the original; it's
too Hollywoodized for my taste. However, there's no question when it comes to suspense. The biggest difference is the sheer
number of aliens.
Fuck Paul Reiser from Mad About Me. I'll never look at him the same way. It's damn stupid to go out there for the
purpose of retrieving an alien specimen. Just leave the concept alone and move on because it's too dangerous.
Sigourney Weaver is marvelous once again, but she should've gotten an Oscar nomination previously but not for this sequel. I
like it when she showed care for the little girl Newt who's played well by Carrie Henn in her only movie role.
All in all, despite the inevitable comparisons, Alien and Aliens are both outstanding films.
Alive (1993)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
11/03, 8/04, 10/14, 12/15
10/14:
John Malkovich's introduction for Alive is comical because he never experienced the harrowing tale,
and I could never stop laughing through it.
He should've been replaced by one of the actual survivors, preferably Nando Parrado, to give the story the justice it
deserves. After the pointless soliloquy is finished, it's the beginning of a pretty darned good movie. I've seen it many
times over the years, and it's the last ten minutes, from the trek to the helicopter rescue that makes Alive
transcendental. In short, there's nothing like it.
What's surprisingly amazing is how accurate the story is: the Fairchild plane carrying a local Uruguayan rugby team that
crashed in the middle of the Andes Mountains and the survivors being forced to battle the wintry conditions, depleting
their supply of food and wine in mere days and therefore succumbing to hunger by eating the deceased bodies.
Most viewers have made too much deal about the unthinkable. They just don't know until it actually happens to them.
As good as the cast is, Ethan Hawke is the standout by giving a special performance as Nando Parrado. Having seen
Alive many times, I'm still conflicted whether or not it deserves '10', but the ending is quite powerful.
All in all, Alive is a true story of human courage and the will to survive.
12/15:
Alive is a heart-stopping adventure survival story.
The cast is terrific, but it's Ethan Hawke who gives a special performance.
All in all, Alive is an unbelievable movie.
6/22:
I finally got around to picking up the book by Piers Paul Read, and what's refreshing is that there isn't much of a difference
between the book and the film.
It's almost exactly how the event happened which took place from October 13 to December 23, 1972. Fernando "Nando" Parrado
wanted to get out of the mountains from the beginning and therefore should be credited for saving the lives of fifteen
people. Religion had nothing to do with it. Eating dead bodies was of absolute necessity. The author was correct: if all
45 did survive at first, there's a chance every one of them would have been dead at the end. In other words, where's the food?
As to getting out of the mountains, it took Nando and Roberto Canessa ten days to walk 24 miles before reaching the green
valleys of Chile. When Canessa said he might have saw a road, he was actually correct. Also, there was a vacant hotel resort
thirteen miles to the east, but nobody could've known that. Their families commissioned plane searches all over the region
but were ultimately unsuccessful. It's because the top part of the fuselage was 100% white, making it hard to differentiate
from the snow. Other issues were high altitude and wintry conditions, hence the unsafe flight travel.
The helicopter rescue at the end isn't how it happened in the film, but it's close enough. The other fourteen already
knew in advance Parrado and Canessa had made it by listening to the radio. Their concern at that point was how they looked
and the dead bodies that were littered around the fuselage. Half were transported to the hospital while the rest
was left behind for another day along with the rescue team of five. When the five tried to enter the fuselage, they were
overcome by the stink inside, so all but one chose to sleep in their own tent overnight. None of the pilots
believed Nando when he showed them the way because of how he climbed the mountains without special equipment.
The movie is still powerful while the acting is uniformly great. Most importantly, the story is essentially
the same which is a rarity from Hollywood. The only misgiving I have is John Malkovich's narration which
should've been done by one of the actual survivors, preferably Nando.
All in all, if you read the book Alive: The Story of the Andes Survivors, you'll be pleased with the film.
All About Eve (1950)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/16
6/16:
After finding out that Judy Holliday won the Best Actress Oscar for her performance in
Born Yesterday
over Sunset Boulevard's Gloria Swanson and reading that many felt it should've
gone to Bette Davis for All About Eve, I proceeded to watch the film to see what the hoopla was.
My conclusion is...nope. I just don't see it. Bette Davis is nothing special and is thus plain. Her
oft-quoted line "Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night" doesn't do anything for me.
Actually, I'm more impressed with Anne Baxter as Eve Harrington. She plays the snake part quite well. George Sanders
shines, too, and is the only one of the cast to win an Oscar. Celeste Holm is good, too. They've made most of their
characters in the final hour. But the trouble with the whole show is it's too talky. The writing is fine, but if
Joseph L. Mankiewicz would cut it down greatly, it could've been a more tolerable movie to sit through.
All in all, All About Eve is overrated.
All My Sons (1948)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/24
8/24:
I read the play All My Sons by Arthur Miller years ago but hadn't come to seeing the film until now.
One thing is sure: it's too similar to Death of a Salesman which came
out a couple of years later. The structure, the themes, the conflict, and the ending are identical. Arthur Miller
only redressed everything. My major complaint, besides it being too theatrical and old-fashioned, is he took
the easy way out by having the father kill himself at the end.
The acting is fine. Perfectly cast, Edward G. Robinson dominates the show, but the dialogue is sometimes hammy to
listen to. Then again, the play was in the same way. Hence, there's no reason to rewrite it. Just leave Arthur
Miller's work alone and let it be the basis. Burt Lancaster is average while everybody else is nothing special.
All in all, you're better off seeing Death of a Salesman with Dustin
Hoffman and John Malkovich as it's the same thing as All My Sons but superior in every way.
All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
1/08
1/08:
All Quiet on the Western Front is a top ten masterpiece of all time.
The cinematography is visually stunning, even by 1920's standards. So many emotions are felt by me for the characters.
Lewis Ayres is brilliant as Paul Bäumer. His journey is endearing and heartbreaking. Louis Wolheim
is also excellent as Kat Katczinsky.
I can understand why the Nazis wanted to burn the book because of the defeating message that war is useless and trivially
pointless. If the Germans had seen the American film, it's possible WWII may never happen. It carries a lot of relevance,
no matter what the period of time is.
All in all, Lewis Milestone's greatest directorial achievement is All Quiet on the Western Front.
All Quiet on the Western Front (1979)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/14
3/14:
As highly as I think of the 1930's Best Picture Winner
All Quiet on the Western Front, I questioned the necessity of a remake.
After seeing the 1979 version, I've come to see how well-made it is, too. Granted, it's not right up there with
the original which is among the greatest movies made, but it has merits.
I like the story and how closely it resembles the original plot as outlined in the book. The best feature is the use
of color, having become alive during the battles. There are a lot of touching scenes which show why war is unthinkable and wrong.
All in all, the 1979 version of All Quiet on the Western Front doesn't pale that much in comparison with the original.
All That Heaven Allows (1955)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
3/14, 8/15
3/14:
Equipped with one of the best cinematography ever, All That Heaven Allows is much better than the other Douglas Sirk's
high-camp, melodramatic Written on the Wind.
Rock Hudson is perfect as the handsome gardener hulk who falls for an older widow who's played wonderfully well by Jane Wyman.
How swept away is Cary by the sight of Ron. She falls for him, and how the town talks afterwards. Cary's
muddled thinking is apparent through her hesitating actions, mainly because she's pulled back by the varying external forces: peer
pressure, town approval, and conventionalism.
Remember All That Heaven Allows was made during the 50's, and things were different back then. Hence, soap opera
themes are prevalent as ever, yet there's a nice balance about it. The best part is the guilt conflict within Cary.
Cary has to first believe in the impossible by taking a leap of faith if she truly loves Ron. Otherwise, it's
unfair to him. Hence, the theme is powerful. What's more important: love or people's opinion of how one should act, think, do,
and be? My favorite moment is when Cary found out, after listening to their righteous talk, her son planned to go overseas,
her daughter agreed to marry, and the house should be sold. How I wanted Cary to disown her children instantly. The hilarious
sight of the TV set is the final nail in the coffin for the poor mother.
All in all, All That Heaven Allows is an instant Douglas Sirk classic that's a satisfying motion picture experience.
8/15:
Rock Hudson and Jane Wyman are perfect in All That Heaven Allows, a top five romantic film.
The story is terrific, and the underlying messages about social norms are relevant. They still ring true to this day, making
for an emotionally moving picture. Even better is the brilliant Technicolor cinematography which seems to
present every possible color in the palette; hence, it's an unforgettable Douglas Sirk classic.
All in all, All That Heaven Allows is everything that Written on the Wind
and Magnificent Obsession are not.
All That Jazz (1979)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/21
1/21:
Having enjoyed Cabaret, Lenny, and
Star 80, I'm disappointed that All That Jazz is a self-indulgent mess.
Based on Bob Fosse's time of working on the choreography for a Broadway musical entitled Chicago while
editing Lenny, it's not a terrible film but has been overblown with nothing
significant to say.
The chaotic, frenetic editing is akin to being pushed through the restaurant as soon as I walk inside and be told
to eat everything right away in mere minutes before being kicked out to make room for the next customer. At the
end, I never got to enjoy anything.
I don't get dance...I just don't. It's all made-up crap to me. People could do this or that way, but I still
wouldn't know the difference. In All That Jazz, it's arbitrarily done which seems to be aimed at filling
in the time when dance should have a clear purpose.
The acting isn't a problem. While Jessica Lange is barely involved, Roy Scheider is the star of the show and
deserves a lot of credit. However, it's clear from the outset that his creepy-looking character looks like death.
Joe Gideon will die unless he ceases smoking, drinking, and taking Dexedrine for good. But once he said he
didn't care, then why should I? That's when Bob Fosse lost me.
All in all, Joe Gideon's death as shown in All That Jazz happened to Bob Fosse eight years afterwards.
All the King's Men (1949)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/17
6/17:
It doesn't take long for me to realize All the King's Men is a biopic about Huey P. Long, aka Kingfish, the
famous controversial governor/senator from Louisiana.
That's why I knew how the long-forgotten film was going to end, serving an easy way out for Willie Stark. According
to Broderick Crawford: "During the filming, we never mentioned the name of Huey Long on the set. That was the
unspoken law at the studio."
What I don't like is how simple everything has been. I'm afraid life doesn't work that way. Thus, it's a
sure bet Robert Penn Warren's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, of which I've never read, is probably better. Worse is
the need for Jack Burden (John Ireland), who only hangs around and witnesses the dirty business as if he's a
stand-in for the audience. It seems pointless if he doesn't believe in the guy himself. Worst of all, WHERE ARE
THE BLACK PEOPLE??? This is Louisiana, sheesh. If their votes were being suppressed on purpose, then state that fact.
The acting is okay. Nobody stands out. Therefore, the Oscars for Broderick Crawford, who was drunk during the
filming, and Mercedes McCambridge, in her screen debut, are undeserving. So is the Best Picture nod. It's merely
an average political movie. By the way, I don't think I had seen John Derek act before; maybe I saw a few movies
he appeared in, but I never noticed him. He plays Willie Stark's son. Why I'm mentioning his name is that he ended
up marrying Bo Derek who's thirty years his junior.
All in all, All the King's Men makes for a fair viewing, but it paints a simplistic picture of dirty politics.
All the President's Men (1976)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/08
12/08:
All the President's Men is an ordinary real-life detective movie that's buoyed by good performances.
It's never exciting at any time, but there are tense moments during the paper trail chase. If there's anything to complain
about, the information given is full of holes. A name appears out of nowhere, and some juicy tidbit suddenly comes
into play, disallowing my participation during Woodward and Bernstein's sleuthing trip.
Hence, the film isn't helpful for somebody anyone who hadn't been informed about what happened at that time. I mean, this is
a historical picture. Therefore, the book will have to be read. By the way, Jason Robards' Oscar-winning performance
is overrated.
All in all, All the President's Men is fair.
All the Pretty Horses (2000)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/04, 9/13
9/13:
I think the average American will automatically assume nothing good happens in Mexico, yet they persist going there in
the hopes of striking plutonium.
So, that's what happened in All the Shitty Horses. Three wannabe actors fake themselves by playing cowboys who travel
from Texas to Mexico. Trouble happens over there which eliminates one of them. The remaining two find work, and an ugly woman
with no acting talent appears.
The fake cowboy star falls in love with her despite their nonexistent chemistry but ends up in prison with his phony cowboy
buddy. Both are stabbed to death yet are miraculously alive afterwards.
They're, all of a sudden, freed from prison. Somewhere along the way, the loverboy is shot in the leg, applies a Rambo treatment
onto himself (which is the funniest scene of the film), and eventually survives the incident. He finally goes back to Texas, sees
his phony cowboy buddy again despite resolving nothing whatsoever, and says, "Hey, we had a good time in Mexico, didn't we?"
All in all, All the Shitty Horses...yep, that'll be the day.
All the Right Moves (1983)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/03, 5/04, 11/14
11/14:
All the Right Moves is more than a football picture.
It's about abuse of power by people in authority over the teenagers who are treated as slaves to accommodate
their system. The example with Stefen Djordjevic and his coach is common as I've seen it happen many times.
A wrestling season is typically broken down into two parts: team and individual. Back in high school, I knew a wrestler
who performed in all matches during the first part but was thrown off the team right before the second part for a chance to
defend his multiple district and region titles. I found out later the coach knew he broke a lot of school rules
during the season but overlooked them so he could win the team matches to boost his overall coaching record.
Similarly, I was on the varsity soccer team in college for one season, but my coach gave me two choices: either focus on
the sport or school. I quit the team with two games remaining in the season because I was paying thousands of dollars
for tuition, room, and board, and my decision wasn't hard. All the Right Moves brings up such memories,
and it's always disappointing that sports must be the be-all and end-all which still rings true to this day.
Tom Cruise is excellent as Stefen, and I like Lea Thompson's performance, too. But it's misleading to think her character
couldn't go to college. Community college will always be an option as it'll accept anyone which costs a fraction of
the usual sticker price and can be easily followed up with an university education. Craig T. Nelson, who played an all-time great
character in Coach, is terrific.
Looking at the boneheaded fumble play, I say that's Hayden Fox's fault because he should've made it clear to his players the
gravity of the situation: either take the safety or force the quarterback to kneel down. But handing off the ball to the running
back...what the hell for? After the game ends, the pace slows down a lot, leaving not much else for everybody to work with.
Hence, there's a lot of moping around until the predictable deus ex machina comes to save Stefen when he's awarded
a full-ride scholarship offer to play football at Cal Poly San Luis Obispo at the last minute (like it ever happens).
Nevertheless, I love the Western Pennsylvania look, and it's what makes the movie authentic.
Here's an amazing trivia from IMDb that'll make you go, "Huh?": "The director wanted
Lea Thompson and Tom Cruise to go undercover to remember what high school was like. They went to separate schools, and while
Cruise was spotted after just one day because someone recognized him from Taps (1981), Thompson
went four days, was asked out by many guys, and got caught smoking."
All in all, All the Right Moves is an enjoyable football picture, but more importantly, it takes a deep look into what's
wrong with high school sports.
All the World's a Stooge (1941)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
All the World's a Stooge is a good, if odd, piece.
It doesn't have a plot but has enough jokes to keep me entertained.
All in all, hopefully the next film shorts will be better and funnier than All the World's a Stooge.
Almost Famous (2000)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
8/20
8/20:
An overrated movie on many levels with toned-down content, Almost Famous sinks in a rock 'n' roll
vat of saccharine crap.
For two hours, Cameron Crowe goes full-on in his delivery of cutesy bullshit just to make everything be "it's all good"
harmless fun. Well, what I saw is wannabe morons interested in being effortlessly cool while pretending to be in the "moment."
At the same time, the 70's feel is never accurately captured.
Listening to the band members of Stillwater, I can't help but feel there were more intelligent musicians during the late 60's
and early 70's. The frontman of The Doors, Jim Morrison, was certainly one of them, and he was the epitome of cool. But
Russell Hammond? Boy, he has the intellectual depth of a shot glass while possessing a constant vacuous look in his eyes.
For the most part, Patrick Fugit isn't bad but overplays the "state of wonder" hand for too long; who can really believe him?
The worst character of the film is Penny Lane who's played by Kate Hudson. She's white trash
and thus not interesting. In truth, Kate Hudson couldn't have gotten into the showbiz without the help of her mother Goldie Hawn.
The only actor who comes away unscathed is Philip Seymour Hoffman. He's good as Lester Bangs who got sick
with the flu during his four-day shoot. I'm somewhat okay with Frances Dormand's performance, but her schtick is already old.
All in all, the industry fed underage young girls to musicians all the time during the 70's, and knowing full well
the truth, Cameron Crowe didn't want to admit it, preferring to tell a Disney story of rock 'n' roll fun through
Almost Famous.
An Almost Perfect Affair (1979)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
6/20
6/20:
For An Almost Perfect Affair, Michael Ritchie directs a nice little charming picture that takes place
during the Cannes Film Festival in France.
Keith Carradine and Monica Vitti have great chemistry. When they're together, the movie is good but is
unfortunately sabotaged in the last thirty minutes. Obviously, the ending is a rip-off of what happened in
Casablanca, and I half-expected Andrew Jackson to say,
"Hal, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
By the way, if I saw Hal's film, I probably would agree with Maria's opinion, but there's no reason for him to
dump two years of work for her. Think about it. Also, just because An Almost Perfect Affair is a movie,
Hal can easily do it, but in reality, most people won't go that far. As for the ending, it's apparent Maria
simply had a fling with him and would return to her life, therefore souring the whole show.
Of course, the Cannes Film Festival is the most interesting part, but it all looks stupid, phony, and decadent.
I can never take these awards seriously whether it be the Palme d'Or, the Grand Prix, or whatever else because
many times the winners have turned out to be either silly or pretentious, ending up in the Criterion Collection.
The censorship as shown? It happened to THX 1138 which was made by a nobody named George Lucas who went
on to direct American Graffiti before launching the
Star Wars franchise.
Fully founded in 1946 after WWII, the Cannes Film Festival first appeared in 1939, but Germany invaded Poland
during that time which caused the organizers to call off the festival for the time being. Its creation was in
response to Benito Mussolini messing with the integrity of the Venice Film Festival for two consecutive years.
Hence, the French, British, and American jury members refused to participate and instead went to the Cannes.
Now, you know why you've never heard of the Venice Film Festival.
All in all, Michael Ritchie nearly had it in An Almost Perfect Affair but threw away the romance at the end.
Alone in the Dark (2005)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
12/07
12/07:
After reading so much about Uwe Boll, I finally managed to see one of his films: Alone in the Dark.
Widely proclaimed to be the worst picture of the year, I kept my expectations low. Getting through the first
half, Alone in the Dark seemed mediocre, and then, I was put to deep sleep during the second.
Mind telling me what the story is all about?
Coupled with a made-for-TV feel, the special effects are dreadful. The monsters are ripped-off from the Alien
quadrilogy. When I saw the protective gear the soldiers put on themselves, it looked like they were getting ready for a roller
derby race. James Caan, anyone? What the heck happened to Christian Slater? He's too good for this junk. Of the cast, Tara
Reid kills the film.
All in all, I'm never seeing another movie by Uwe Boll.
Along Came a Spider (2001)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/08, 4/25
9/08:
Congratulations to everyone who was involved with the stupid film called Along Came a Spider.
What the hell is wrong with Morgan Freeman? Why can't he spend his valuable time doing Pictures of the Year?
Here, we have a MacGyver for a nine-year-old spoiled, precocious brat. The atrocious car crash, which occurs
at the beginning, sets the tone, but the funny thing is: it has no effect on the rest of the movie. So, why
bother including the scene?
All in all, Along Came a Spider is a waste of Morgan Freeman's acting talent.
4/25:
Along Came a Spider is slightly better than Kiss the Girls.
The sequel is unpredictable this time in spite of repeating the formula. Instead of Ashley Judd,
it's Monica Potter. Although I hate her, she has to be there all the time in order to provide the twist.
Worse is the girl who's portrayed to be in the same league as MacGyver. By the way, the Secret Service
doesn't protect senators and their families; that'll be a total waste of money.
The most disappointing is Michael Wincott for not being able to stretch his character like before along with the
long hair; hence, he comes off as a weakling. I can even see his face not looking right a mile away, but
nobody did for two whole years? At the same time, everybody really loves to say his last name (Soneji), huh?
As great of an actor as Morgan Freeman is, I don't know why he continues to waste his talent on such inferior
pictures with a weak cast. He should try to be more selective. What bothers me about his character is that, no
matter how much a situation has taken a turn for the worse, he manages to figure something out so brilliantly to
be closer in solving the mystery. Examples are knowing there's a secret camera in the killer's house (or something
like that) from the school and cracking the computer password on the very, very first try, especially with an
ampersand.
All in all, Morgan Freeman saves Along Came a Spider from disintegrating into smithereens.
Alpha Dog (2006)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/21
6/21:
While watching Alpha Dog, I didn't know a thing about the real case until afterwards.
Yeah, Jesse James Hollywood was in the news back then, but I predictably didn't care about him. How I came to the film
this late is somebody suggested it while I looked up info on Bully. It's true that
they're similar, but Larry Clark did it so much better, especially on the gritty side.
At first, I thought the acting was corny and the dialogue terrible. If that's how they spoke, then so be it which is a strong
indicator of low IQ. These idiots are also weak wannabes, and I can come up with some people who can easily beat the living shit out
of them. But somehow, the movie is watchable like a bad train wreck with an expected ending.
Only Justin Timberlake impresses me; his acting craft keeps improving all the time. The same can be said for Ben Foster who's
clearly over the top, but his on-screen time is so short that a lot of potential has gone untapped. Everybody else is more or
less okay. I'm surprised to see Bruce Willis and Sharon Stone looking old by now.
All the names have been changed, but the story is still the same in terms of what happened in Southern California during the summer
of 2000. Johnny Truelove is Jesse James Hollywood, Frankie Ballenbacher is Jesse Rugge, Elvis Schmidt is Ryan Hoyt, Keith
Stratten is Graham Pressley, and Zack Mazursky is Nicholas Markowitz. The debt was $36,000, not $1,200 (gee...such a puny sum).
Only Hollywood (who fled for five years before he was caught in Saquarema, Brazil, which happened after the filming was
completed, hence the new ending) and Hoyt are in prison for life while Pressley and Rugge got out in 2007 and 2013,
respectively, after serving seven and eleven years. Believe it or not, Anton Yelchin, the Russian actor who played the victim,
died in 2016 at age 27 when his Jeep Grand Cherokee rolled backwards, crushing his chest against the pillar and security fence.
All in all, Alpha Dog isn't a well-directed picture but contains enough energy to grab my attention from start to finish.
Alphabet City (1984)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
1/09
1/09:
Alphabet City represents everything that's wrong with an 80's film.
The result isn't surprising because I had seen Frogs for Snakes which was also directed
by Amos Poe. He's one of the worst ever. I had never heard of Vincent Spano, the male lead star, and after seeing it, I now know
why. He doesn't have what it takes to be an actor. Vincent pretends to be tough and gritty, but one simple look at his face
ruins the credibility.
The rest of the performances are mostly hokey, making the film feel stagy. What I saw instead is lights, lights, and more
lights. It's been purple, pink, green, orange, purple, pink, yellow, orange, purple, pink, green, orange, purple, pink,
yellow, purple, pink, green, orange, purple, pink, and yellow. They're so distractingly bright that they have to be
right in the center of every shot.
All in all, Alphabet City should've stopped Amos Poe's career dead in its tracks, but he unbelievably went on to do
Frogs for Snakes.
Altered States (1980)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/04, 12/14
12/14:
Ken Russell was known for going off the deep end in the most extreme way when it came to directing movies.
I've given Altered States another chance after viewing it ten years ago to see if my opinion can be changed.
Sadly, that's not the case. In fact, it's much worse now.
Honestly, why did Ken Russell let it go after half-hour of stimulating conversations among the academicians?
Basically, the film is a 2001: A Space Odyssey wannabe for those who
want a drug-fueled experience, and the results are disastrous. Save for maybe three minutes' worth of awesome
imagery, the last seventy minutes is trash and uninteresting.
I guess the message is to get high as much as possible in order to see lots of fantasy stuff to
determine the meaning of life and the universe. It might sound cool, but many have suffered psychosis from it
and have never been the same again. Hence, it's not worth the chance because life only happens once.
To be fair, William Hurt's debut performance shows a great deal of acting potential, enabling him to do future
roles that are far better while nabbing an Oscar along the way. However, he's limited here in terms of what he
can do with his character, so it's a disappointment.
All in all, If Ken Russell could stick with what's working in the first half hour for the rest of the way,
Altered States would've been successful.
Always Outnumbered,
Always Outgunned (1998)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
Next to Deep Cover, Always Outnumbered, Always Outgunned is Laurence
Fishburne's best film.
Any time Laurence Fishburne is given a lead role, he can make the most out of it, and it's too bad he didn't have a
lot of chances throughout his career. So, I'll take what Laurence Fishburne has done. This is a real gem.
In the film, Laurence Fishburne plays a quiet, unsung hero who's a good example to the black community although
his anger control needs more work. There's a Boyz n the Hood angle to his
character. Many lessons can be learned from what he believes in.
I like the supporting cast: Bill Cobbs, Natalie Cole (yep, she's the deceased daughter of Nat King Cole), Daniel
Williams, Bill Nunn, and Bridgid Coulter who has been Don Cheadle's partner since 1991. All turn in excellent
performances with a few of them being special.
All in all, HBO produced a lot of outstanding telefilms during the 90's, and
Always Outnumbered, Always Outgunned is one of them.
Amadeus (1984)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
10/03, 3/05, 9/06, 9/10, 6/15, 9/19
9/06:
The man...
The music...
The madness...
The murder...
The motion picture...
Amadeus is one of the most brilliant, breathtaking, and abstruse I ever seen. The performances of Tom Hulce and F. Murray
Abraham are engrossing.
The story is so fascinating and different that to call it a genius is probably not enough. Peter Schaffer, the twin brother
of Anthony Schaffer, was a gifted writer. Some have said Amadeus is boring. Some have said Amadeus is
too long. And some have said Amadeus is nothing more than music. But they all miss out on the masterpiece.
All in all, Amadeus is among the best films of the 80's.
9/10:
Tom Hulce's and F. Murray Abraham's performances are what makes Amadeus great.
All in all, Amadeus is a marvelous picture.
6/15:
After seeing the Director's Cut of Amadeus, its place among greatest movies made is rock-solid as ever.
Every time I see Amadeus, the more clear it has the perfect balance for a musical biopic. There are
additional scenes that help explain characters' motives. It's hard for me to decide who gave a better
performance: Tom Hulce or F. Murray Abraham. The former is perfectly cast as Mozart, and the latter is too good as
Antonio Salieri. Jeffrey Jones is charming as Emperor Joseph II. Elizabeth Berridge doesn't get enough credit as Mozart's wife.
All in all, Amadeus is transcendental.
9/19:
Thanks to F. Murray Abraham and Tom Hulce, Amadeus is a superlative film.
It's unbelievable watching these two perform at their best. Thus, F. Murray Abraham deserved the Oscar win while the other
earned the nomination. They'll be remembered forever for this piece of work. The writing is first-rate. So are the
interior set decoration, costumes, and cinematography.
All in all, there's nothing like Amadeus.
Amarcord (1973)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
4/12
4/12:
So, let me get this straight.
Amarcord is about a woman with large breasts? And that's all? Boy, these women are ugly as sin.
As for the film title, it means "I remember." But Federico Fellini forgot to add more words: "how
bad I am as a director." Although it has many unusual, appealing shots, he's obsessed with the glorification of retarded
sexuality, excessive nationalism, and abundant release of corny feelings.
Many scenes are random which have nothing to do with each other. I was bored to tears so many times that
I had to pause the movie because I couldn't believe how slowly the minute hand of the clock was moving.
All in all, Amarcord is a waste of time.
Ambush Bay (1966)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
If it wasn't for the unforgivable mistakes, Ambush Bay would probably be rated '8' or '9'.
That's because I'm impressed with the high realism given the film was made in 1966 which was done
on location in the Philippines. But everything else...oh, boy. For starters, why does the noob wear a red hat
compared to the others that are either green or camouflaged? It's like saying, "Hey, this is an important guy!"
What's with the uniforms? I'm so surprised that this is a WWII picture set in the Pacific when the feel has
been consistently akin to the early phase of the Vietnam War.
Why bother telling me all of the soldiers' names in the beginning when I can't remember any of them and they'll
die soon after? Ditto for the application of the war paint because none of it appears on anybody's face after
the first attack. In regard to the last part, there's no reason to do so, and going around the four
enemy soldiers would've made the mission simpler with more guys alive in the long run. After the Americans died so
quickly, I'm only surprised that they survived a lot of campaigns before that. The second attack is totally
unnecessary like one of the men running away after he put an explosive on the tank when he should've
stayed put and waited it out.
I understand James Mitchum's character is a representative for the audience in terms of "What am I doing here?
What's this mission for?" The whole thing should've been avoided by prepping him beforehand which can be used
for the opening scene instead of the pointless introduction of each soldier. That being said, I recommend
everybody to shut the fuck up during the mission and pay attention at all times. If people are
killed, stop wasting time and energy on digging holes and instead hide the bodies where nobody can see
them for a couple of days or so. While at that, somebody should tell the noob not to put his forehead atop
the barrel of his rifle. At one point, the camera failed to track a thrown smoke canister in the air before
it was shown landing on the ground.
Because two Asians died helping out, has the film become racist? I'm not sure, but the American soldiers were pretty
selfish, considering they attacked every time when in danger yet did nothing for Amado and Miyazaki.
Speaking of the woman, am I correct to say that after she took off the kabuki makeup she applied a new one
to make her face free of blemishes? If that's the case, why would she do it in the middle of a dangerous
situation, and why didn't the leader tell her to cease it and get going already? Because of the heavy black crap
on Tisa Chang's eyes that kept throwing me off, she's actually Chinese, not Japanese.
By the time the final two survivors make to the enemy base, they go underneath a fence, yet a few minutes
later, the leader says it's probably electrified. Uh...maybe not because nothing happened to them? Before
that, the enemy soldiers running after these two were quite close, being able to hit them with gunfire, but they
managed to get away on a canoe? I don't think so. At the base, how did the leader know the barrels were filled with
gas? What happens if they're empty, resulting in their blown cover? How about the moment when James Mitchum
was 100% exposed during his attempt to hide by the barrels with enemy soldiers running in plain view? Then
again, why are they coming out of the road and then out of the base?
As for the radio stuff, how hard can it be for the special forces guys to learn it? Aren't there supposed
to be plenty of experienced radiomen? By the way, the use of a white guy to carry a radio in the Pacific
Theater is probably 100% incorrect. Back then, they used Navajo code talkers because of their unbreakable
language, and two radios would've probably been taken just in case. I don't think the sun ever went down
in the film, so the night scenes could be...dark!
Unlikeable at first, Hugh O'Brian gets better over time as his soldiering looks authentic. He used to be a
drill sergeant in the United States Marine Corps during WWII. Mickey Rooney is fine most of the
time but has a hammy moment at the end. A lot of people have blamed James Mitchum for his weak acting, but
I think he performed well overall by doing what his hard-to-believe part called for although it's impossible to
get over the uncanny resemblance he has to his father. Elsewhere, the use of real Asian people is A+.
All in all, I won't be surprised to learn that Ambush Bay is used in the military as an example of what not
to do.
America's Sweethearts (2001)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/25
5/25:
I didn't know America's Sweethearts existed until now.
The cast got my attention: Catherine Zeta-Jones, John Cusack, Billy Crystal, Julia Roberts, Alan Arkin, and
Christopher Walken, among others. While watching the film, I was like, "Really? Catherine Zeta-Jones
and...John Cusack?" *laughing* No way...only on Mars. They got nothing on Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, too.
I didn't predict from the beginning that Julia Roberts and John Cusack were meant to be together. Why would
it happen? They had absolutely zero chemistry. The longer the show went on, the more bored I was until
Christopher Walken appeared for the second time and announced, "The details are unimportant. Simply put, the
script was shit. I tossed it," before showing his long-awaited film. That's when America's Sweethearts
finally got better but only for ten minutes.
What a train wreck. How often does this happen that Julia Roberts plays an ugly duckling who ends
up getting the man of her dreams after all? Even more unbelievable is she and Catherine Zeta-Jones being
sisters. They are totally unlike as a tree and an electrical cord can be. Part of the blame should be directed at
Billy Crystal for co-writing this piece of shit. There's no comedy but a lot of pointless talking.
All in all, there are three signs of a potentially bad film: either Julia Roberts, John Cusack, or Christopher
Walken is in it, and America's Sweethearts happens to have all of them.
American Beauty (1999)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/13
4/13:
American Beauty is an overrated movie that offers oversimplified generalizations for certain personality types.
Notice the characters showed no evidence of being part of a social group? It's impossible based on how they
conduct their business, and therefore, that's what makes the outcomes unlikely.
American Beauty is a gross play of manipulations as an attempt to shape my thinking that these people and their goals are
simple. Unfortunately, they aren't that shallow or everything as they seem to be in reality. After seeing the ending,
I don't think so.
All in all, American Beauty is a perfect film for artsy-fartsy pseudo-intellectuals who thrive on hyperboles,
labels, and simplifications.
American Buffalo (1996)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/17
7/17:
To be honest with you, I have no clue what American Buffalo is all about.
Effortlessly, it has landed on my Worst Films list. All I can say to everybody is: slow the fuck down.
But no...the dialogue must be delivered at a rapid machine-gun pace. Who the hell cares if I can't comprehend any of it? Just
keep going and make up shit.
Dustin Hoffman won't shut the fuck up for a second. It's amazing how much he committed the rubbish bullshit to memory.
Dennis Franz just stands there, nodding his head away in the affirmative to whatever what his co-star was saying. Sean Nelson
was probably selected for the role based on his performance in Fresh, but his acting ability isn't
the same anymore.
American Buffalo was penned by David Mamet in 1975, and it took twenty-one years for the play to be filmed. That being
said, some things are best left alone. It tries too hard to be the next
Glengarry Glen Ross. On the other hand, I can
never understand why people will want to buy something from that junk shop. Looking around, I can only spot a NES
console that's worth buying, depending on the price, but it's probably over 100 bucks. So, forget about it.
All in all, American Buffalo represents the worst of the theater world.
American Flyers (1985)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/04, 5/08, 12/16
5/08:
After viewing American Flyers for the second time, I'm raising my rating from '3' to '7'.
It's true the film has several corny Mentos-like moments. Admittedly, I'm a sucker for bicycle pictures, and
American Flyers ultimately wins me over for these scenes alone, especially during The Hell of the West
race with authentic crashes. The Coloradoan cinematography is wonderful, and the sight of the riders going through the roads
over the Rocky Mountains is vertiginously jarring.
Kevin Costner sports a rare, sexy moustache and plays his part well. David Grant is delightful and creates some of the
most dramatic bicycling scenes ever filmed. John Badham does a nice job of holding back the revelation of Marcus' brain
aneurysm until the right moment.
All in all, American Flyers has its share of ups and downs but remains a satisfying, enjoyable bicycling experience.
12/16:
They should've made more bicycle pictures back then.
Raising my rating from '7' to '8', I love the story in American Flyers, and the cast is perfect. The Hell of the West
race is dramatic to watch, and the tactics used in the stages are technically correct and sound. Kevin Costner, David Grant,
Rae Dawn Chong, and Alexandra Paul are fun to watch. Luca Bercovici, who plays Cannibal, looks like Mario Cipollini the
great Italian sprinter.
All in all, although it has a lot of Mentos-like moments, American Flyers is the best bicycling picture I've seen.
American Gangster (2007)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
3/08
3/08:
Let me try to get this right: American Gangster is Year of the Dragon,
Goodfellas, Blow,
King of New York, The Godfather,
Donnie Brasco, Miami Vice,
Year of the Dragon,
Goodfellas, Blow,
King of New York, The Godfather,
Donnie Brasco, , Miami Vice,
Year of the Dragon,
Goodfellas, Blow,
King of New York, The Godfather,
Donnie Brasco, ,
and Miami Vice all rolled into one.
Does this sound right? Oh. How unoriginal. I wish I knew the movie was going to be three hours long because
if I did, I would've never watched it in the first place. I was hoping for a good Denzel Washington performance. But...nope,
I didn't get it. All he does is walk, look around, and act like Denzel. Josh Brolin does his best to mimic Razor
Ramon the WWF wrestler. I hate Russell Crowe.
All in all, American Gangster is long, boring, uninteresting, and a damn waste of my time.
American Gigolo (1980)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
10/03, 10/05, 5/08, 12/16, 1/22
5/08:
Not getting enough respect from critics, American Gigolo is a first-class production all the way through with a
touch of mastery.
Giving the performance of his career, Richard Gere is perfect as the high-priced escort. In fact, his character serves as a
role model for anyone who want to dress and look impeccable. I love the Armani clothes Julian Kay wears and the way
he goes about his business; when Richard Gere does it, my expectations are extremely high, and he never disappoints.
Lauren Hutton exudes the attitude of a wealthy well-do elite. Hector Elizondo, whom I don't like much, has little
screen time and is wisely put out of the way as soon as the mystery deepens although he's the key in transferring the film to
the neo-noir territory. What I like is the exploration of the gigolo world with discreetness and sincerity. It's
never sleazy as the word suggests but paints a rather nice and modest picture of the rich and beautiful.
All in all, American Gigolo is a rare film that works very well given the topic and may be the best picture of its genre.
12/16:
Widely credited for making Giorgio Armani a household name, American Gigolo is a first-class picture all the way through.
This is Richard Gere's best performance, and he will always be Julian Kay, a high-priced escort who dresses impeccably well
and speaks five or six languages.
All in all, American Gigolo oozes style and is one of the finest neo-noir pictures I've seen.
1/22:
Move over, Julia Roberts...Richard Gere shows what a high-priced escort is and, more importantly, how to do it well with
class.
This is the role he should be best known for. It's a fantastic movie with lots of style. The Armani clothes Richard
Gere wears, he introduces the brand in a big way. The story is neo-noir at its best. Lauren Hutton does an admirable
job of keeping up with him who's simply unbeatable.
One thing that dawned on me during my repeated viewing of American Gigolo is the AIDS crisis was budding during
this time and nobody knew what it was yet. So, it's entirely possible Julian Kay may have been infected because he
started out doing gay tricks. Then again, he could've escaped unscathed because he was dealing with high-end clientele
although some of them did get infected anyway. It's definitely an "I wonder" question.
All in all, because of his performance in American Gigolo, Richard Gere wins the Sexiest Man Alive of 1980 by a landslide.
American Graffiti (1973)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/05, 7/12, 7/15
5/05:
It's easy to see how American Graffiti had spawned a legion of high school pictures such as
The Breakfast Club, Dazed and Confused,
Can't Hardly Wait, Pretty in Pink, and
The Lord's of Flatbush.
But there's only one American Graffiti. What gets me into the film is the classic cars cruising along the strip.
There's nothing like it. John Milner, played by Paul Le Mat, is the true Fonz, and Harrison Ford is cool as Bob Falfa
with the cowboy hat on. The others, especially the sweet Mackenzie Phillips, are fun to watch, too.
All in all, American Graffiti is a perfect cinematic example of nostalgia.
7/12:
There's something nostalgic about American Graffiti whether it's the cars, the cruises, the drive-ins, the rock 'n'
roll music, the 50-60's feel, the innocence, or the characters.
One thing that's undeniable is it's a timeless classic. It has a great cast of characters who are engaged in
random events. Take away any of them, and American Graffiti ceases to be the picture it is.
I prefer Joe, the leader of the Pharaohs gang, over John Milner because it's cute to see him taking this stuff
seriously. My favorite tandem will always be Paul Le Mat and Mackenzie Phillips. They're just fun together.
Ever since, many high school pictures have tried to imitate the feel and coolness of American Graffiti, but it
remains unsurpassed.
All in all, American Graffiti is an all-time great classic.
7/15:
Although American Graffiti is a timeless classic, it's uneven with some annoying characters who impede the flow.
Those I like the best are John Milner, Curt, Carol, Bob Falfa, and Joe. But the rest, not really. I hate Steve Bolander and
his girlfriend and Debbie the most. The high replayability value is due to the classic cars cruising along the
strip while the drivers are striking up conversations. That's why it's such an American classic. But some of the characters'
problems eat away my full enjoyment, making it a downer at times.
All in all, American Graffiti is one of those unforgettable films that stand the test of time and provides a good
snapshot of the good old days when innocence was a cherished virtue.
American History X (1998)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
11/04, 12/14
12/14:
American History X seems like a good film, but when I think about it deeply, "pretentious" keeps coming to my mind.
Edward Norton could've won the Oscar that year because all the right elements were in place. The huge swastika symbol over
his heart was going to be the clincher as evidenced by the grinning Edward Norton who raised his arms in the air to
bask in the glory of black and white. The goal was to make the voting members go apeshit over it.
So, what happened? Well, the truth is: his performance wasn't that good. So there it is, and fuck you, Edward Norton fans.
There are two parts the actor completely owns. Otherwise, he's ordinary.
The dinner scene, which is Raging Bull-esque, should've set the tone to shape the film
because of the intelligent discussion about race relations. But soon after, the director loses the ball by opting for a nice, neat
simplification of why Derek Vinyard became a member of the Aryan Brotherhood.
The other is when the truck was being burglarized by a trio of black thugs to set up the scene for Edward Norton so he could
have his own kick-ass moment by breaking one of their jaws against the curb. That's when the pretentiousness
finally reached its zenith as soon as he showed off his tattoo-clad body.
Remember when Derek was anally raped? It's probably the first time in his pathetic life that he felt physically hurt. Now, Derek
wants to run away from this façade of hatred because he finally realized he wasn't so tough after all.
It's all right, Derek. Here's a box of kleenex. *pats his back several times* Have a good blow. Also, Derek changes his mind
about black people in general after making friends with one in prison. Come on, does Hollywood think everybody is stupid?
Hence, American History X can't be taken seriously as a message picture about hate crime. It's more interested in
the glamour and coolness of being a Nazi skinhead than the impact of his negative actions on the victims, hence the
"duh" ending. Anyway, forget Edward Furlong; that guy sucks. The cinematography is well-done, keeping me interested for a while.
All in all, I'm glad Edward Norton didn't win the Oscar for Best Actor.
American Me (1992)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
10/17
10/17:
I really want to heap a lot of praise on American Me because of Edward James Olmos who makes his directorial debut.
But I just can't. Sending a message about racial self-destruction, American Me is the Chicano version of
The Godfather, but this time, it's told from an additional perspective: inside of prison.
However, Blood In, Blood Out is superior and devastating in many aspects.
The acting is solid. I've enjoyed Edward James Olmos' performance but don't care much for his character, the story, or
the gang life. Because of the scene when Santana was raped while in the juvenile hall (there are others, too), members of the
Mexican Mafia, whom the movie is based on, got enraged and therefore ordered the murder of three film consultants. They
also dispatched a contract to have Edward James Olmos "whacked," but the rumor is that he canceled it by paying them off. However,
the other three were killed.
All in all, American Me doesn't move me but is a good film anyway.
American Ninja (1985)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/04, 3/06, 3/22
3/06:
Although I'm a huge fan of the ninja genre as it reached the zenith during the 80's, American Ninja is a cheesy,
mindless flick but has plenty of ninja action.
Michael Dudikoff makes for a fun character...not! He has the personality of a rock. I like Steve James more, but he'll be
better in the next installment. Judie Aronson is a major babe, so feast your eyes on her when the going gets boring.
All in all, as a kid, I thought American Ninja was the coolest ever, but now, nah.
3/22:
Highly memorable during the 80's zenith of ninja flicks, American Ninja fails to hold up today.
The sheer amount of cartoonish violence and illogical situations are hard to overcome. Soldiers are constantly shooting at Joe,
but not a single bullet hits him, no matter how close they are. The film cheats too much through editing with the heavy usage
of stunt doubles. At one point, Joe's love interest stands in front of the panoramic background poster that's substituted
for a real beach.
Granted, it's Michael Dudikoff's most famous role, and he's handsome-looking. But let's be real: his personality sucks.
Prior to filming, he had no martial arts experience. The biggest mistake is not giving Steve James more screen time because the
story goes in circles which slows down the pace during the second half. Judie Aronson does her best, but she isn't
a good actress.
All in all, American Ninja isn't a well-made Ninja picture.
American Ninja 2:
The Confrontation (1987)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
9/04, 3/06, 3/22
3/06:
The good news is American Ninja 2: The Confrontation is better than the original, but the bad news is...it's still crap.
If I follow the plot correctly, the drug lord wants to create an army of lethal assassins through genetic engineering.
But after seeing them to get their butts kicked by the American Ninja along with a couple of fairly good fighters and many
poorly trained marines, I guess the answer is: they need to increase the dosage greatly.
My favorite moment is when the ninja nemesis finally faced Joe Armstrong. Out of frustration, he decided to fuck it and pulled
out a shotgun. That moment may have literally killed the ninja movement in cinema because the logic is basically this: guns
will always win.
All in all, it'll be nice if Michael Dudikoff could show some personality, but he admitted in interviews that "acting is a
real challenge." *sigh*
3/22:
American Ninja 2: The Confrontation is actually better than the original with plenty of ninja action.
It also corrects an error by giving Steve James more screen time. He's a lot of fun to watch. Michael Dudikoff is okay but
looks significantly older despite being aged by two years. A nice addition is Jeff Weston as Wild Bill for moral support.
The film is notable for the rare meaty appearance of Mike Stone, a real-life martial arts champ who did a lot of fight
choreography for other films.
As many ninjas as there are, they aren't Asians but inflexible white people. I don't get the part when Tojo Ken killed
many of them for demonstration which is tantamount to admitting they aren't good enough to be lethal assassins before
the sale. It gets worse when he decided to forego his martial art skills for a shotgun to shoot at Joe.
Entirely shot on location in Johannesburg, Cape Town, and Mauritius of South Africa, the first half goes well, but, like
the original, it's slowed down a bit during the second half. There's a point when Joe was leaving Wild Bill's office
with Steve James, but it's not Michael Dudikoff but his stunt double. Um...why? By the way, whatever happened to Taylor's
wife? Now, if you asked, "Taylor who?", it's all right...don't worry about it.
All in all, American Ninja 2: The Confrontation is the best installment of the franchise which isn't saying much.
American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt (1989)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
9/04, 3/06, 3/22
3/06:
Armed with a new lead star and a new director, American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt is still the same crap with the same story.
It's comical to see the bad guys practically letting the good guys win. The phony fight scenes, with ninjas acting as
pushovers, have lowered the entertainment value as well.
Steve James is obviously the show, but he alone isn't enough. David Bradley has more lines than Michael Dudikoff ever
did in the first two films which is an amazing feat. Yet he still blows. It's been bewildering how this franchise had survived
for so long.
All in all, fake karate moves, lame villains, trash plot, and bland heroes are the hallmarks of a bad martial arts movie,
and American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt is just that.
3/22:
Having seen American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt over five times, it never gets better.
What was everybody thinking when they changed the lead actor from Michael Dudikoff to David Bradley? I wasn't asking for
much, but Dudikoff was perfectly fine, stoic personality and all. It's just that Steve James needed more screen time
for the benefit of the film. The story is that the real American Ninja got tired of doing martial arts and didn't want to
work in South Africa again while the apartheid movement was ongoing.
David Bradley for the Joe Armstrong-like role is a big step down in all aspects. He has no ninja skills to begin with and
seems to have learned some martial arts from a four-weekend course at the local YMCA with some streetfighting lessons thrown
in for a bonus. Apparently, Sean can use Jedi mind tricks to expel the virus from his body; will it work for COVID-19, too?
If he can't dispatch the ninjas with ease, then how is he a one to begin with?
The second biggest mistake is Evan...Ivan...whatever J. Klisser for the role of Dexter. It's absolutely not necessary. Steve
James is also terrible, having to resort to the lame "oh well, we're going to have to wait longer" shtick while appearing tired
of doing more sequels. His usual charm is lost as well, and he looks too muscular which leads me to think that's how he died
of pancreatic cancer at age 41.
If there's anybody who should get a special mention, it's Marjoe Gortner who plays Cobra. He's famous for an Oscar-winning
documentary film called Marjoe which chronicles his Pentecostal preaching lifestyle, having become an ordained preacher
at age 4 which is the youngest ever known.
The plot is flat and is a repeat of the previous film. The ninjas are terrible. Worse is the editing. For example, if somebody
is going to fall from a high-rise building, it's obvious what will happen next, but the editor wants to show the body lying down
on the ground afterwards. Jeez, other scenes are like that, too. When the genetically-engineered ninja clones are
standing like mannequins, I can see them moving while struggling to stay still.
All in all, American Ninja 3: Blood Hunt shouldn't have been green-lit in the first place if Michael Dudikoff wasn't
going to come back with Steve James at his worst.
American Ninja 5 (1993)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
7/08
7/08:
American Ninja V is hands down the worst American Ninja movie I've ever seen.
David Bradley, who plays Joe Armstrong, looks and acts like a total jerk. The biggest mistake is the casting of Lee Reyes
as the unlikable Hiro. The former is endlessly saving the latter. But why? I don't care about him. When the kid is finally
allowed to learn the secrets of ninjistu, he becomes a ninja overnight and looks adept applying them when he couldn't handle
the nunchunks two days before.
Majority of the time, it only takes a weak, sometimes shadow, punch or kick to knock out the ninjas. Speaking of ninja
tricks, the art of disappearing initially looks cool, but it's tiresome when invoked many times. How the poisonous gas works
still baffles me. If one breathes some of it, he either immediately dies or gets sick. Only the baddies have the worst while
the good guys are completely unaffected.
When Viper (who's wearing a cape!) shows off his trusty two-pronged hand claw, it's evidently clear that he had been watching
lots of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Here's a Believe-It-or-Not trivia: the character of Glock is played
by an actor named Clement von Franckenstein.
All in all, American Ninja V is a dumb, childish picture that's made for the little boys with an overactive imagination.
The American President (1995)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
8/18
8/18:
If forced to pick, I'm going with The American President over Dave.
The former gets everything correct and is more of a serious drama although it's idealistic as ever. Additionally, it has great acting,
and Michael Douglas is in supreme form. In fact, he looks very presidential. Annette Bening is simply fantastic.
Interestingly, Aaron Sorkin wrote the screenplay while he was high on crack cocaine. If that's what it's going to take, then
so be it. Even more interesting is the introduction of two legislative bills: anti-crime to ban assault
weapons and environment to reduce carbon dioxide emission by 20%. Neither has come to fruition to this day.
All in all, I'll vote Michael Douglas for president if he's like that in real life.
American Psycho (2000)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/04, 6/08
6/08:
Is there a more sleep-inducing serial killer picture than American Psycho?
I don't think so. The acting is okay, but it's the dreadfully slow pace that has put me to sleep. I'm unable to make
heads or tails out of what the story is about. The last thirty minutes is torturous to sit through as it
transitions from "weird" to "bizarre." So, is the film a dream or reality? Most of the events have been either unrealistic
or silly.
Bret Easton Ellis did a good job with Less Than Zero to highlight the characters' superficiality. The same treatment
is applied again for American Psycho. Unfortunately, they're plastic stiffs, making it hard for me to care about
what happens to them.
All in all, I can't manage to stay awake for the life of me while watching American Psycho.
Amityville 3-D (1983)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Amityville 3-D is another sequel for the Amityville Bore franchise.
The seemingly strong cast can't save it, either. It's a good thing the writers wised up by stopping the thievery of
ideas from The Exorcist, but it's too bad they moved on to
The Omen.
The trailer is among the worst I've seen. It starts off like this: a reverse explosion of the house, the film's logo, and a
forward explosion of the house before it ends with "A Dino de Laurentiis Production." That alone is an indication of what to
expect. The tagline for the poster is true: I'm the victim by having watched a bad horror film.
All in all, Amityville 3-D solidifies 1983 as the year of sucky 3-D horror pictures.
The Amityville Horror (1979)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
10/04, 7/05
7/05:
The Amityville Bore is one of the worst, most boring "scary" films ever made.
It has many rip-off moments from The Exorcist and The Shining. George, who looks
wild-eyed while chopping wood with an axe, is spotted by his wife in her Catholic schoolgirl clothes(!). She drops her only
one brown paper bag of groceries that's meant to last for a week for her family of six.
Diabolical is when the spirit from the house controls the car. Oh, geez, the sex scenes...they're absolutely silly. An axe is
thrown at the tree for no apparent reason. Ditto for a book stolen from the library, a random occurrence of unsmashed hands,
and a door broken from the inside.
It's evident that, by the looks of Margot Kidder, she's cuckoo as a loony bird and is nowhere near the scream queen of the 80's:
Jamie Lee Curtis. James Brolin is so stoic that he's perfect to play a tree. Characters pop in and out in mere seconds like
the guy who showed up with a six-pack of beer before leaving.
Instead of calling repeatedly for weeks, why didn't Kathy go to see the priest on the third day or so? What's the relevance
of the priest and the detective? How about interviewing the killer? Why do I have to keep seeing the same side of the house a
million times? I get it already: it resembles a skull. Unbelievably, the film is two hours long, but nobody dies. The final
clincher of its immense stupidity is the ending informing me that everybody had moved to another state before capping off with
"The End."
All in all, the new tagline of The Amityville Bore should be: "FOR GOD'S SAKE, STOP LAUGHING!"
Amityville II: The Possession (1982)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Great, Amityville II: The Possession offers more bore with zero surprises as usual.
It's hard to overcome the tedious, lethargic pace that's sprinkled with a few get-'em scares. Because the introduction
has given away the hint, the story is therefore predictable.
Ahh, to make the film disturbing as much as possible, it presents a theme of incest with the husband beating up his wife and
children while demanding sex constantly. Wait a minute, is that the story of the Boston Strangler?
All in all, the screenwriters have done an admirable job of ripping off The Exorcist for
Amityville II: The Possession.
Amores perros (2000)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
3/15
3/15:
Technique-wise, 2004's Crash is a rip-off of Amores perros (Spanish for
Love's a Bitch) which is also a rip-off of Pulp Fiction.
Since it's a drama anthology, there are three vignettes which converge to a single point, namely the car accident. Only one,
that is "Octavio y Susana," is worth watching and should've been the whole film. The other two are a waste of time.
My take is it's a movie about dumb characters who make idiotic decisions while embarrassing themselves continually, no
matter what. There's imbalance throughout that becomes more noticeable after a lot of time has been spent on "Octavio y Susana."
After telling the story of "Daniel y Valeria," Alejandro Iñárritu begins to lose his grip on the narrative and thus fails to
make a point in the grand scheme of things. "El Chivo y Maru" is the worst as it adds nothing and can be safely discarded.
I've been constantly asking myself, "So, what's it all about? And what do the stories have to do with each other?" Perhaps
the hidden answer is: it's all about the tricks, especially when it comes to the storytelling and editing. The cinematic elements
are in place, but it's the sum of parts that don't have anything to do with each other.
During "Daniel y Valeria," the couple should've went to the hardware store and bought some plywood to cover the floor. It's
obvious they didn't care about Richie because if they did, they would've tried to get him out within the first few hours.
But they lose credibility by expressing their solicitude for the dog while prolonging the appropriate course of action. After
they rescue Richie, he appears fine and healthy with no signs of rabies. That's manipulation. Plus, none of the neighbors is
bothered by the constant barking.
"Octavio y Susana" bothers me because of the Rottweiler surviving the gunshot wound. After losing so much blood and getting
no treatment for hours, it isn't possible anymore that the dog is still alive. The sight of the old man putting a Band-Aid on
the wounded area is comical and insulting at once. So is the car accident involving three independent sets of characters who
happen to have a dog! There's no way Richie would've survived it, either.
Although the cinematography isn't bad, the shaky camera is annoying to put up with. There are many close-ups with some being
too extreme. The reason why Gael García Bernal has an extensive amount of close-ups is that he wants the world to know how pretty
his green eyes are. He's just an overrated actor with the knack of getting naked with some girl in every Mexican film I've seen.
Normally, I'll let the dogfighting scenes, however unconvincing they are, slide if they add a certain meaning to the film,
but in this case, they've been pointless. That's why the director should've stuck with "Octavio y Susana" as the main feature.
All in all, Amores perros is a ridiculous Mexican melodrama.
Amos & Andrew (1993)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
1/15
1/15:
The primary reason why Amos & Andrew is a funny movie is Nicolas Cage.
There's something unique about his personality which makes any scene with him hilarious. My favorite is when his character,
out of the blue, talked about sea monkeys. Samuel L. Jackson does a good job of playing along with Nicolas Cage.
Of course, the movie is dumb but funny because obviously not much makes sense. Even the dog's loyalty is easily switched to
whoever pays attention to him. However, I hate the inclusion of Brad Dourif, who plays the moron cop Donaldson, and I've
never liked him as an actor.
All in all, thanks to Nicolas Cage, most of the comedy works in Amos & Andrew.
Anaconda (1997)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/15
2/15:
The Jaws of snake pictures, Anaconda is probably responsible for many myths
about the eponymous nonvenomous creature.
Part of the reason why the former worked well is that the shark looked real; this way, nobody could laugh about it
afterwards. But the latter, the opposite is true. The snake looks so fake that it's the primary cause of the
film's downfall. Hence, the acting, mostly from Jon Voight, saves it.
If the anaconda was more realistic-looking, my rating would've been higher. There are several effective
scary moments. However, the implausibility of the ending is too much to overcome. Snakes don't normally
attack on the offensive or go after more victims once they've eaten one.
It's been confusing at times when I was trying to figure out how many anacondas there were supposed to be. I
counted only two, but there might be more lurking around. Hence, it's doubtful the surviving characters' adventure
is truly over after killing two. On the other hand, I must ask this daming question: how did the South American
Indians survive them, even with primitive tools? Like National Geographic, people who undertake such
expedition trips for documentary purposes will have done the research first to be aware of what they are facing to
prevent surprises. Hence, they should've known there would be anacondas.
So, anyway, yeah...it's Jon Voight, even at his worst, who's too good for everybody except for Eric Stoltz who
disappears for a while which is actually funny. Truth be told, Jon Voight's antics have gotten worse over time
because his mannerisms are repetitive, reminding me of Oscar "Manny" Manheim from
Runaway Train. I half-expected Eric Roberts to jump out from nowhere
onto the screen.
Jonathan Hyde provides comic relief from time to time. He's funny in a dry way like somebody who'll rather be
drinking martinis and golfing elsewhere. Jennifer Lopez, who looks almost unrecognizable, is in dire need of
growing back her eyebrows. The rest of the cast is dismal, even by B-movie standards.
All in all, Anaconda is only one level above the heap of trash that's shown regularly on SyFy (Sci-Fi
Channel, Sci Fi, or whatever the hell it's called nowadays).
Analyze That (2002)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
I thought Analyze That would be worse, but happily, my prediction didn't come true.
Off to a rough start, Robert De Niro acts crude, dragging down the quality of the material. By the time
his character is let out of prison, things pick up as everybody is back to making comedy come alive. The
biggest difference is Billy Crystal being much funnier than he was in the original. By the way, the part
about Paul Vitti faking his mental illness did happen for real to a Mafia don named Vincent Gigante, aka
"Oddfather," which went on for decades.
It's strange Robert De Niro agreed to be in this sequel because he never did that hitherto.
The Godfather Part II doesn't count because of two reasons: 1) He
wasn't in the original; and 2) His role was more suited for a prequel, forcing him to speak Sicilian completely,
something that he had never done before. Pairing up Cathy Moriarty with Robert De Niro brings back their days of
Raging Bull which was her first film ever.
There are several cinematic references. The songs that Robert De Niro sang at the beginning are from
West Side Story. When he said, "I like hitting guys over the head with a
baseball bat," that's The Untouchables.
How about "Remember the strike on Air France? People are still talking about that!"? Of course, it
was the 1978 Lufthansa heist as covered in Goodfellas. Not many know this,
but Anthony LaPaglia is actually Australian, having been born there, and is half-Italian through his father's side.
All in all, Billy Crystal saves Analyze That from foundering further while Robert De Niro has his moments.
Analyze This (1999)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
If it wasn't for Robert De Niro's legacy of playing gangsters, Analyze This wouldn't have worked.
It's a smart hilarious picture with a small amount of references to
The Godfather trilogy and Goodfellas.
A lot of people may be confused whether Joe Viterelli, who plays Robert De Niro's bodyguard Jelly, was in any of
those pictures, but the answer is no. They're probably thinking of Richard Castellano (Clemenza) who passed away in
1988. Oddly, the other bodyguard is named Richard C. Castellano (no relation), and he also died in 2015.
I always knew that Robert De Niro was a funny guy as evidenced in
Midnight Run. He has plenty of witty lines. One of the best scenes that's
misinterpreted in a Mafia way is when the therapist told Paul Vitti to hit a pillow and he took his advice by
shooting at it. Then, there's the discussion about the first thing and the second thing that the therapist will
take advantage of to drive Primo Sidone crazy during the squaretable meeting which is a reference to
The Godfather Part III. Another is when Vitti said,
"I was Fredo? I don't think so."
Billy Crystal is fine. He's about 20% funny but is effective enough as a straight man. The rest of
the cast is fair, but Joe Viterelli is good and very believable as one of these Mafia
guys. Chazz Palminteri has done work for Robert De Niro by appearing in his first directorial
picture A Bronx Tale.
All in all, Billy Crystal's character said it the best to describe Analyze This:
"What is my goal here...to make you a happy, well-adjusted gangster?"
Anatomie (2000)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/05
5/05:
The numerous twists and long-winded story have drowned Anatomie in the sea of mediocrity.
There are lots of mind-boggling parts, leading me to conclude that logic had come off at the seams. At times,
some sequences lacks fluidity.
However, I like the concept, but Stefan Ruzowitzky's direction is sorely lacking. He should have developed some
style first to get the film going. Franka Potente of Lola rennt fame isn't bad while the
rest of the cast is so-so.
All in all, not a horror film by any means, Anatomie offers a gruesome but realistic insight of what it's like to be
a doctor.
Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
1/08, 1/22
1/08:
During the first hour, Anatomy of a Murder felt watchable but had the makings of an overrated film.
As soon as the court case started, I became hooked until the end. Hence, it's a gripping courtroom thriller with lots
of witty humor throughout. James Stewart, once again, gives the best performance, showing why he was one of the greatest
actors in Hollywood history.
At the same time, there are excellent performances by everybody else, and they all make the difference in pushing the film
to be rated '10'. However, I'm not impressed with Lee Remick's performance as the rape victim because the dots
never connect with her. Maybe that's the point.
Although I'm dismayed by the outcome and don't agree with it, my feelings shouldn't matter. One puzzling aspect about the case
is if the soldier committed murder, shouldn't he be tried by the military? When I heard the defendant and his wife's story, it
seemed improbable for him to get away with the murder based on the defense that his lawyer had constructed. Then, a remarkable
thing happened which is putting me on the fence after listening to everything. That's when the jury got lost and was forced
to make a decision amid the mess of fiction and fact.
By the time the verdict is read, all I can think of is how brilliantly the dirtiest, most shameless courtroom tricks were
applied. So, what's the message? It's a good question, and that's the beauty of Anatomy of a Murder. Meanwhile, the
dogfights between James Stewart's and George C. Scott's characters are a can't-miss; the judge is hopelessly
lenient. That's why everybody got away with it.
If anything, the only glaring flaw is the lack of a cross examination with Manion after treating him as a hostile
witness who obviously has a history of temper tantrums. If the prosecution had exploited it, the defendant's case might have
fallen apart.
All in all, Anatomy of a Murder is a one-of-a-kind courtroom picture.
1/22:
The three best courtroom drama pictures are 12 Angry Men,
Witness for the Prosecution, and Anatomy of a Murder.
All share three traits: brilliant writing, brilliant acting, and brilliant direction. James Stewart gives one of the best
performances of his career and is always riveting during the trial, especially when he raises objections. It's smart of Otto
Preminger to bring in an up-and-coming heavyweight actor by the name of George C. Scott an hour into the film.
Arthur O'Connell rounds out the final of three Oscar acting nominations. More players should've gotten it, too: Lee Remick,
Joseph N. Welch, Eve Arden, Ben Gazzara, and Murray Hamilton. It goes without saying Anatomy of a Murder is an
extremely well-acted movie. Duke Ellington even makes an appearance, playing the piano.
By the way, while serving as the chief counsel for the U.S. Army during the Army–McCarthy hearings, Joseph N. Welch
was famous for asking Joseph McCarthy: "At long last, have you left no sense of decency?" This is the only film he ever did.
Welch could've done more but died not long after.
Anatomy of a Murder is based on a real life case and does a great job of making use of cross-examination and re-direct.
It's ahead of time when it comes to the explicit language such as "bitch," "panties," "contraceptive," "climax," and
"spermatogenesis." Unfortunately, there are several instances of witness coaching which is illegal. Prospective witnesses
shouldn't be in court at the risk of being tainted.
As for the case in regard to the murder of Barney Quill, I have to say Lieutenant Frederick Manion was guilty.
It became a circus with lots of smoke and mirrors through Paul Biegler's antics. There's still one fact that hasn't changed:
Manion killed Barney in cold blood and knew what he was doing. The way his wife acts, she's a certified slut. I won't be
surprised if history repeats. In real life, the initial vote was 8-4 for murder until the tide turned in favor of
acquittal.
All in all, Anatomy of a Murder may be three hours long, but it's extremely fast-paced and well-acted.
And Now...
Ladies and Gentlemen... (2002)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
It's a good thing that Jeremy Irons was part of the cast for And Now... Ladies and Gentlemen...;
otherwise, I would've never seen it.
At first, I didn't know it was a foreign film, having been made by the French that was actually shot on
location in France, England, and Morocco. Then, there's the fact that Jeremy Irons could speak French
fluently. I thought it was her, and yep, it's her: Claudia Cardinale. She's old-looking in the film compared
to the 60's and, obviously, hasn't been relevant since then.
Well, what went wrong? For starters, it's the editing that made the storytelling confusing with probably
half of it taking place in a dream. After a while, I started to figure out the plot. However, the movie never
stopped and just kept going on and on without making a point. Then, there's Patricia Kaas who sings
randomly...and often. Just convert the whole thing into soundtrack if that's how it's going to be.
Anyway, she isn't an actress, and to date, it's the only film that she has done.
You may see a boat amidst the crashing waves on the movie poster and elsewhere, but there's barely any of that
in the film. I think it'll be funny if the two amnesiacs met each other in Morocco by random chance and then
agreed to sail around the world. After being on the boat for a while, they suddenly forgot what they're doing
and began to resent each other but were essentially stuck, hence the new title:
And Now... These Two Idiots Were Okay with Having a Brain Surgery in Morocco....
All in all, And Now... Ladies and Gentlemen... is average but isn't a total waste of time.
And the Band Played On (1993)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/20
6/20:
Having first seen And the Band Played On on HBO in 1993, it's still a compelling movie with a first-rate cast.
Sometimes, a bunch of all-stars get together to do an important film. This is one of them. The performances are excellent. My
favorite is Richard Gere which may feel like two minutes long, but it's powerful (in case if you're wondering, it's based on
Michael Bennett, the director of A Chorus Line and Dreamgirls). The other is Jeffrey
Nordling as the French-Canadian airline steward (that's Gaétan Dugas who was a certified mass murderer because he knew
what he had but went on having sex, regardless). Matthew Modine is outstanding as usual.
The movie was based on the 1987 book of the same name by Randy Shilts who was gay and passed away from AIDS at 42 in 1994.
The most interesting is the sleuthing part because back then nobody knew why people were mysteriously dying despite seeing
lesions on their bodies. Ronald Reagan failed to address the AIDS crisis, making no official mention of it
until 1987 which was one year before the conclusion of his second term. It's among the important reasons why he'll
never be thought of as a great U.S. President. The announcement of Rock Hudson's diagnosis completely changed everything, but
it only happened because he was a big-name star.
The other that's of interest is the selfish acts by Dr. Robert Gallo because he was focused on taking credit
for the discoveries in AIDS research so he could win the Nobel Prize. It eventually went to the French scientists in 2008 while
Gallo was excluded. Nonetheless, it's a good performance by Alan Alda. By the way, why does he always play a bad guy in films?
Of course, politics come into play because of one and only one thing: money.
Caused by HIV, AIDS is currently under control in the United States. Up to 50,000 people are infected annually. That's
not bad when it was used to be 130,000 in 1985. The number of new infections has been stabilized since the mid 90's. Those who
are identified early tend to live longer due to better treatments compared to those with a late diagnosis. To this day, I'm
surprised that Magic Johnson is still alive.
However, the situation is dire in Sub-Saharan Africa where almost 24 million people are infected with AIDS. A lot of
people think the disease started during the early 80's and perhaps the late 70's, but HIV first emerged in Africa during
the 60's. Transmission was slow until the following decade when people started to carry it overseas, and then, the epidemic
started to be full-blown. Initially, people thought AIDS was a gay disease and thus laughed it off, but tainted blood
transfusions and the fact that the heterosexuals, virgins, and children were contracting it changed the ball game.
All in all, Roger Spottiswoode has done a great job of putting a human face on the AIDS crisis in And the Band Played On.
And Then There Were None (1945)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
12/14
12/14:
My first encounter with the well-known Agatha Christie story was
Ten Little Indians from 1965.
Then, I read the book which was entertaining. Recently, I saw the original filmed version and liked it more than
the remake. One salient aspect that makes it better is the quality of acting. It's very good as everybody has
done a great job of heightening the suspense. However, it's the rushed, albeit changed, ending that leaves me
disappointed.
Although it's a thinking person's film, I don't buy how the characters are able to isolate themselves over time
and be alone with the soon-to-be-deceased character. Why not have everybody in the same room throughout? The
lack of urgency and seriousness shown by several people, especially the one who's always knitting, is hard
to believe.
All in all, And Then There Were None is a good classic whodunnit picture.
The Anderson Tapes (1971)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
6/20
6/20:
Underscored by dated moments, editing, and dialogue, The Anderson Tapes is a piss-poor film by Sidney Lumet
considering the high amount of star power it offers.
The plot is simple: a mastermind serves his time, is set free from prison, seeks out accomplices for a big caper,
wears a Leatherface mask, is caught half dead just about after the job is done, and the end. If you think that's
quick, wait until you see the movie, and you'll be in for a long, boring ride. And what's with the paraplegic kid?
At the same time, there are tons of electronic surveillance, so what's the point of them all? They play
no big role at the end. The whole time I was thinking, why didn't the FBI (or whoever they were) alert
the police department of what's about to go down? Afterwards, the cops could've caught them red-handed before
things went any further. Instead, some of them use a rope to skywalk from one building to another, but why?
Speaking of masks, how come the characters don't cover up their hair, too? Duke Anderson visits the building
regularly, resulting in an easy identification by the doorman. Also, the gay interior decorator has a distinct
hairdo while he and everybody else make a recent but highly unusual visit which should be good for a quick
memory jog.
With the exception of Judith Lowry who's quite a hoot, the cast is boring. I'm rather disappointed with Sean
Connery, who sports no toupee for the first time, because he can occasionally make a film interesting but never
manages to. As for Christopher Walken, it's his first major screen role, but he does nothing special. Martin
Balsam plays a flaming homosexual just for the hell of it. Forget Alan King and Dyan Cannon; they're goners.
It's the final feature film appearance for Margaret Hamilton, the Wicked Witch of the West.
All in all, the real Sidney Lumet would emerge in 1973 to begin his run of many classic films, leaving
The Anderson Tapes in the dust.
Andersonville (1996)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
9/14
9/14:
Although there were many prisoner of war (POW) camps during the U.S. Civil War, Andersonville Prison, aka Camp Sumter, remains
the most famous of them all, resembling an early Nazi concentration camp.
Approximately thirty percent of 45,000 captured Union soldiers died in captivity at Andersonville Prison, due to mostly
starvation and disease. Enter Andersonville. Honestly, I've found it to be a much better film than
Gettysburg.
The best part is no speeches. Instead, it portrays a spiraling cycle of progress from capture to liberation as the POWs
undergo different phases of change. It's shocking and sad at the same time.
If I thought The Great Escape was a colorful picnic, what happened at Andersonville
was the antithesis. The POWs were unkept, dirty, and full of mud, and there were no showers and restrooms during their long stay.
Many, after given their freedom, resembled Holocaust victims: malnourished and skeletal-looking, full of lice and mosquito bites.
I read up on the true story and then realized the film was a close portrayal of what happened with some liberties taken
with the truth, especially during the uprising against Raiders. The acting is uniformly good, and everybody looks the
part. However, it's the conditions of the camp that overshadow their performances, quicky becoming the main highlight of the picture.
All in all, Andersonville is a must-see about the other side of the Civil War.
The Andromeda Strain (1971)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/14
2/14:
The Andromeda Strain is the 2001: A Space Odyssey of biological warfare.
The endless series of technology and procedures to combat various types of viruses is stunning to look at. At the same
time, the acting holds up well, displaying a high level of professionalism, logical reasoning, and cold mannerism that I
expect of scientists.
However, it's Kate Reid, as Dr. Leavitt, who stinks up the joint with her relentless berating and cynicism. Eventually, I've gotten
tired of her, thus the lowered rating. While the plot is somewhat difficult to understand, the premise is disquieting and
realistic. The ending is disappointing. It's just too neat and convenient; there's a strong feeling that money had run out,
leading everybody to wrap up the film quickly.
All in all, The Andromeda Strain is a fascinating sci-fi picture, but the plot needs more refining.
Angel (1984)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
4/20
4/20:
Angel is a film that caught my attention during the 80's but didn't persuade me enough to see it in spite of
the tagline: "High School Honor Student by Day. Hollywood Hooker by Night."
After seeing it, the hooker part is definitely way off because Angel is never shown naked, turning tricks for "hundreds of
men," or doing anything of that kind. And strangely, at the same time, a score of high school females appear fully naked
in locker rooms and showers. So, what gives?
Donna Wilkes was obviously too old to play a fifteen-year-old girl when she was 25. Or is it 24? or 23? It's one fact
that nobody got straight. The copious amounts of makeup on her sandpaper face are bad enough to look at, hence the
overall lack of believability.
John Diehl is the killer. He's well known for Miami Vice but left the TV show at its peak for Hollywood (or is it
theater?). If it's the former, John Diehl should've learned his lesson that if he can't make his villain be at least
memorable, then he just doesn't have the goods.
The weirdest is the sight of two ugly drag queens who are played by Dick Shawn and Susan Tyrrell. Added into the mix is Rory
Calhoun, a washed-up 20's-40's Western actor. So, I guess they give the film energy to be passable enough which did
surprisingly well at the box office by taking in $17.5 million against a budget of $3 million and therefore spawned three
sequels with a different actress for Angel each time.
All in all, the tagline did a lot for Angel which is otherwise a cheap, mediocre "sex"ploitation picture.
Angel Eyes (2001)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/04, 10/14
10/14:
Angel Eyes is a weepy Lifetime Movie of the Week that's both awkward and cringeworthy.
I don't know what made it embarrassing to watch: the script, the performances, or the direction. Perhaps it's
been all of them. Basically, Angel Eyes is about two screwed-up people who meet each other by destiny
and find new ways to be more screwed-up. Some of my favorite lines are:
"I think cops are pretty great, you know."
"Oh, I was trying to picture you without your clothes on."
"Let's talk about something stupid."
"So we...smell each other."
"I almost wet myself."
Fascinating stuff...it's Oscar material for sure. Jennifer Lopez is an able actress and does the best as she can.
She survives the awkward scenes with grace. But it's Jim Caviezel who's too weird. The reality is he was unable to
dig deeply to become the character he needed to be: a mentally damaged figure. That's why Jennifer Lopez
couldn't bring her best to the table. Both are incapable of displaying the appropriate emotions. Hence, I blame
the director and whoever made the casting choices. Classical training is what's necessary for it to work.
What's strange about Catch is he acts like he's the most special person in the world because he lost his family
in an automobile accident. At the same time, it seems a ploy which is an appeal for pity in order to trap Pogo
into having to take care of him for life. Meanwhile, Terrence Howard's character is awful and says the grossest
things. That's a big misfire there because his support should've been utilized to give the picture a much needed
balance. Damn, Sônia Braga has aged a lot in ten years.
There are two subplots that make logic hard to swallow. The first is it's okay for the father to beat up his
wife, but it's not okay for their daughter cop to arrest him for domestic violence. Yet he decides to disavow
her because what she did was wrong. Okey dokey. The second is the brother can give his wife a shiner, but it's
not okay for the daughter cop to say something about it. That's terrific. Men's problems are special...I now get it.
By the way, looking at the tall monument during one of the scenes, I was like, "Hm...how can that be? A cop
saves a man in Chicago with a tower in the background?" I should know because I've been up the CN Tower before
which is located in Toronto.
All in all, Angel Eyes is embarrassing to watch during the first hour but is saved in the last forty
minutes from turning into a total train wreck.
Angel Face (1952)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
2/24
2/24:
Robert Mitchum sure gets mixed up with femmes fatales so easily.
Is he dumb or what? This time, it's Jean Simmons for Angel Face. Her character was trouble from the start. I wasn't
sure if she was crazy, dangerous, or plain stupid. But it's been all of these three. She tried to be calculating,
but her plan, as exactly the way she wanted it, hadn't been working all along.
Well, the poor sleepy-eyed Robert Mitchum pays the price once again. It's a finely directed picture by Otto Preminger, one of
his best. Twenty-three at the time of filming, Jean Simmons dominates the show from start to finish while Robert Mitchum is
happy to oblige. Although there are shades of Sunset Boulevard, the ending did catch
me off guard. By the way, yes, it's Kenneth Tobey, from
The Thing from Another World, who plays Bill.
All in all, Angel Face is a bona fide film noir.
Angel Heart (1987)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
4/07, 1/20
4/07:
Angel Heart is almost similar to Vertigo: a slow build-up first, lacking a story
for some time, and finally a wallop in the last fifteen minutes that says it all.
The ending is nice, but it's still a "huh?" picture. That being said, the blame is directed at Alan Parker who's
mostly a hit-or-miss director because his films are substanceless fillers despite the initial raw power.
Mickey Rourke is fine and does a good job of not falling into the trap of a B-actor. With a grin, Robert De Niro makes
a cameo that says, "Hey, look at me. I'm too fucking good for this shit."
All in all, Angel Heart is slow for ninety percent of the time but finally clears the bar when it's called for.
1/20:
I'm dropping my rating of Angel Heart from '8' to '6'.
Alan Parker isn't a good director. As evidenced in Mississippi Burning,
The Commitments, and Evita, the middle keeps going on and on. Although not as bad as anything by Michael
Cimino, it's still pointless filler.
Reminding me heavily of Farewell, My Lovely, there's a heavy dose of snooping around
with rocks turned over while people are killed left and right. With the twist given away in the first fifteen minutes, evoking
a Faustian bargain, the ending, as the mystery finally wraps up, leaves me with a "huh?" feeling.
So, the film is telling me Harold Angel was Johnny Favorite the whole time? I guess cinema can be manipulated however these people
behind the curtains want to, but that doesn't mean I must accept it. Heavily dependent on style, Alan Parker tries too hard
to blend the supernatural with neo-noir but mostly fails. Like
The Serpent and the Rainbow, the voodoo stuff is an excuse for the ignorant
white men to exploit.
Mickey Rourke is fine. He tried his best with the material, but I don't think his heart was in it. Robert De Niro does what
lazy big-time actors do: throw around his awesome weight of talent for a few scenes and then leave with a nice-sized paycheck.
At least, he sports an interesting look along with his perfectly manicured long fingernails. You get to see Lisa Bonet
naked if that strikes your fancy which got her fired from The Cosby Show. The rest of the cast is fair.
All in all, Alan Parker should've worked more on his directorial craft first, so his films will come off better.
Angels & Insects (1995)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
7/20, 8/20
7/20:
You only have to look at the title and do a bit of word play to figure out what Angels & Insects might be about.
About fifteen minutes into it, I had to look up the internet to see if there was any recognition for Costume Design.
Fortuitously, the Academy Awards had taken notice, making it the only Oscar nomination of the film. But it should've
earned the win, not The English Patient. The screenplay deserved a nomination as well.
I have to say the first ninety minutes is slow and as plotless as it can be. Nothing happens although two things stand out
the most: William Adamson should've gone with Matty Crompton and Edgar Alabaster is oddly overprotective of his sister. Of
course, the latter will provide a twist that becomes the pièce de résistance of the show, leading to the rightful
conclusion which is the former. The other flaw is the lack of character development. I don't know these people; they just
come and go. Of the leads, Eugenia is the most poorly developed; she barely spends time with her husband. When she does,
all they do is have sex.
Apart from the script, the acting is strong most of the time. Mark Rylance and Kristin Scott Thomas are fantastic. Playing
a nasty cad, Douglas Henshall steals their thunder whenever his supercilious character appears and gives Adamson an acerbic
treatment at his pleasure. Of course, Edgar wins at the end yet is still a weird guy. Unfortunately, Patsy Kensit gives a
subpar performance which is evident through her face.
All in all, the shocking but unsurprising twist of Angels & Insects that's followed up with a satisfying ending
makes the overlong film worth sitting through.
8/20:
There are some movies that have to been seen at least twice to catch everything, and Angels & Insects is one of them.
This time, it's a more satisfying experience while being aware of the little details ahead of time to know who the characters
are and understand their motivations. Obviously, I knew right from the start Adamson and Matty, who are on the same
intellectual wavelength, were meant to be together.
Like the costume design and in/exterior sets, the writing is very good, easily fooling me that it was adapted from an 18th or
19th century book when the novella was actually written in 1992. Even better is the acting with a lot of subtleties going on.
Mark Rylance is perfect, Kristin Scott Thomas is stunning, and Douglas Henshall is deliciously nasty, dropping plenty of hints
here and there. I now understand Patsy Kensit's weird approach to her character and have decided that she did a good job.
All in all, Angels & Insects is the most overlooked film of 1995.
Angels with Dirty Faces (1938)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/08
10/08:
Given the fantastic-sounding title like Angels with Dirty Faces, it ought to be a hard-hitting gangster picture.
Unfortunately, it's not. Before there was Casablanca, there's this which is directed
by Michael Curtiz and starred Humphrey Bogart in a limited role. I like James Cagney's performance because he sheds off the
one-dimensional personality and goes further to be a human with feelings. In short, it's a breakthrough role.
The worst part is the Dead End Kids. They're so annoying that every time chemistry is in the process of being formed between
James Cagney and Pat O'Brien, the stupid kids have to tear it down. If there's anything to remember, it's the impressive
James Cagney impersonation Frankie Burke put on as young Rocky Sullivan.
Pat O'Brien, who starred in another film with James Cagney and Humphrey Bogart entitled
San Quentin, gives another
great performance. Ann Sheridan isn't bad herself but appears out of it. For the longest time, I thought the classic
black-and-white scene on TV in Home Alone was from this film, but it turns out to be a spoof
with a made-up title: Angels with Filthy Souls. No matter what, it's pretty good. The ending is terrific and somewhat
powerful, and I love the mile-walk shot.
All in all, Angels with Dirty Faces is a typical 30's gangster picture, but thankfully, the Dead End Kids
died out not long afterwards.
Anger Management (2003)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/08
6/08:
I'm not sure if I am being harsh, but Anger Management makes me want to get angry and kill everybody in the film.
I absolutely loathe the characters, and I hate the manipulation by sugarcoating me into liking it despite the fact that
there are hundreds of explicit sexual references. I just hate, hate, hate, hate everything.
I was only willing to watch it for Jack Nicholson despite my fears of Adam Sandler, but the ironic thing is I ended up
feeling sorry for the latter while hating the former and everybody else except for Marisa Tomei.
Adam Sandler's character should've taken control of the situation by getting a better lawyer, feeling the anger
that this is really "happening" to him and being wronged by the situations. Of course, he's meek who goes along
with the rules. When he got to the Yankee Stadium and was admitted inside without a problem, he should've stopped to say
to himself, "How the heck did I get through that easily?"
Finally, it's about time that Lynne Thigpen has seen the expiration of her career after this. Just in case if you don't know who
she is, she's well known for playing the angry black bitch in Lean on Me. I can never stand
her face. Never mind what I said because after looking her up on the internet, I see that Lynne Thigpen died in 2003.
All in all, Anger Management gets a big fat F from me which ends with YOU with an emphatic yell.
Animal Factory (2000)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/16
7/16:
Like Trees Lounge, Animal Factory is a weakly directed picture by Steve Buscemi.
Maybe it's because of the plot since that's weak, too, which was conceived by Eddie Bunker who played the nearly
nonexistent Mr. Blue in Reservoir Dogs. However, let's give him credit where it's due.
He was a real-life convict who served time in San Quentin and wrote the book for
Straight Time and the screenplay for Runaway Train.
As for the veteran taking a newbie under his wings, the first question to ask should be: "Why?" What did Decker do
to deserve the special treatment? Jeez, what a freeloader when it's especially Edward Fucking Furlong. No worries because
Edward looks so fucked up today that he can't help himself.
Anyway, there's nothing for the characters to do; they're set in their routine and shoot the breeze.
I've seen all of this before in countless prison pictures and wonder why Seve Buscemi felt the need to make another one. The
setting takes place at the famous Eastern State Penitentiary which is located in Philadelphia. It's a great place to visit,
and as a result, the grand tour is narrated by Steve Buscemi via audiotape. The other movie I can think of which
takes advantage of the imposing architecture is 12 Monkeys.
There are two excellent performances. One is rendered by Willem Dafoe. The other is Mickey Rourke as Jan the
Actress. What's impressive about it is I didn't recognize him until looking up the credits.
Edward Furlong is miscast. He's truly a bad actor who has no credibility to begin with. Animal Factory
seems to be the last A-film for him because the fallout from drugs and alcohol will finally ruin his undeserved Hollywood
career. By the way, it's amusing that Tom Arnold wanted to fuck Edward Furlong's character in the ass.
All in all, Animal Factory is worth watching for Willem Dafoe and Mickey Rourke, but don't expect a good movie.
Anne of the Thousand Days (1969)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
3/17
3/17:
If I'm disappointed with the satirical tone of
The Private Life of Henry VIII, Anne of the Thousand Days more
than makes up for it.
Comparing and contrasting Richard Burton's and Charles Laughton's renditions of King Henry VIII is like orange and apple;
they're completely different due to the tone of the films. Nevertheless, there's no substitute for Charles Laughton because
of his perfect look. That's not to put down Richard Burton because he did a great job and was therefore Oscar-nominated.
I suppose the following can be placed in this order when it comes to the life of King Henry VIII of England:
Anne of the Thousand Days, A Man for All Seasons, and
The Private Life of Henry VIII. The third Oscar
nomination for playing the same character in the second film went to Robert Shaw.
I've never been a fan of Geneviève Bujold who's a terrible, ugly actress. But I have to say she's fantastic as Anne
Bolelyn although I think Olivia Hussey would've been a perfect choice. Hence, it remains the only Oscar nomination of her
career. Strangely, Elizabeth Taylor was on the set to keep a watchful eye on her husband when he was around Geneviève Bujold. If
you want to compare their physical beauty, there's no contest.
Anthony Quayle, who's normally an okay actor, secures the only Oscar nomination of his career by turning in the best
performance as Cardinal Wolsey. It's been deserving. A special mention must go to John Colicos and Irene Papas for
playing Thomas Cromwell and Queen Catherine of Aragon, respectively. They help to elevate the film as well.
If I have to pick one with the best-looking costumes, it's Anne of the Thousand Days by far. Hence, it's not a surprise
the film received the only Oscar win, out of ten nominations, for Best Costume Design which went to Margaret Furse.
The cinematography is a bonus as well.
All in all, Anne of the Thousand Days is a resplendent picture that's first-rate royalty entertainment.
Annie Hall (1977)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/06
5/06:
So, this dreck earned rave reviews?
Um, why? I mean, why? Rocky was a big winner in 1976. The following year, Annie Hall
came out and was judged to be in the same league as the other film.
Why, Annie Hall is a heap of junk that involves two self-centered individuals who won't stop talking
about pointless things. Why does somebody think it's funny to make a picture featuring a male character who's obsessed
with death and sex? Why does it also include a comedian who can't crack jokes? Where's the substance?
I'm sure those who liked it are strictly White Anglo Saxon Protestants because this has to be one of the
most boring, overrated pictures I've seen in my life. There's so much dialogue that my mind feels ready to implode.
All in all, to sum up Annie Hall, it's about two characters who think the world revolves around them and their
needs, and that being said, who gives a shit?
Another 48 Hrs. (1990)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/05
7/05:
Another 48 Hrs. is somewhat better than the original.
There's a good guessing game going on, allowing me to figure out who Iceman is. I did get it correct just
after the false verification during identification.
However, there are two parts that bug me. Why is Frank Cruise involved? And why doesn't Iceman get Reggie instead
of waiting? Anyway, it's a pretty cool stunt when Cherry fell out of the window and landed
near the water bottle truck. It almost looks real.
All in all, Another 48 Hrs. is a typical Walter Hill picture: not good enough to rise above the gutter.
Another 9½ Weeks (1997)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/07, 7/15
10/07:
Gosh, I'm disappointed.
At the beginning of Another 9½ Weeks, I was heavily intrigued. Halfway through, I got let down. After
the movie ended, I felt deceived. I don't know which is worse: the unmitigated disaster or Mickey Rourke's carved-up
face. Thinking of the latter, I suppose he only accepted the role to pay for the unnecessary plastic surgeries.
As for the film, things did start off well. As time went on, it seemed there would be a reunion of John and Elizabeth.
My breath was being taken away, and I was witnessing a potentially great film. The idea
of him meeting her and seeing what would happen, it was going to be awe-inspiring.
While everybody had been sitting on a gold mine, Mickey Rourke was about to reclaim his Method acting, as evident in early
80's films, that made him unique. Then, the F-bomb was laid. After the revelation of what happened to Elizabeth, the film
turned into a damn waste of time because basically there's nothing to go on afterwards. It's as if John only sought
Elizabeth for one last good fuck.
How Anne Goursand treated John is a humiliating display of shame. Why can't the movie be deep as he goes down the path of
desperation and desolation with regrets because he "let" her go? It'll be powerful this way. But nooooooooo...it's
been transformed into a pornographic picture that runs low on fumes, thanks to the stunning looker who can't act. It's simply
a re-creation of what transpired during the original but with zero feelings.
There's one scene that I'll remember forever about the sequel, and it's when John said to Lea, "You just
don't get it, do you?" It's exactly how I feel about everybody involved with this stupid film.
All in all, don't be surprised if you ask yourself: "Who the hell is that creepy Michael Myers look-alike pervert behind
Angie Everhart's shoulder in the poster for Another 9½ Weeks?"
7/15:
If 9½ Weeks is a masterpiece, then Another 9½ Weeks is a crapfest.
It would have been so much easier to reunite Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger to explore their relationship post-breakup and see
if they could salvage what they lost. Instead, it's about Angie Everhart's character prancing around as if she's the fuck of
the century, hence the perfect quote from John, "You just don't get it, do you?" In fact, that should've been the tagline of
the film because nobody understood what the original was all about. Instead, they recycle the famous scenes in order to
recapture the spirit, but there's been no feeling behind them.
I don't want to be harsh toward Mickey Rourke, but his face really has had it. It's been the most distracting part of
his on-screen appearance. Other than that, Mickey Rourke's performance is fine although he looks bored stiff, not feeling
mentally or emotionally challenged, hence the need for a paycheck.
All in all, if Kim Basinger wasn't going to come back, there's no point in making Another 9½ Weeks.
Another Day in Paradise (1998)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
In terms of shock value, Another Day in Paradise is the weakest in Larry Clark's oeuvre.
I think it's because he used real thespians instead of nonprofessionals. As expected, James Woods dominates
the show. The material is perfect for him, and he carves out a believable bad person who uses people at will.
Obviously, his character's biggest mistake is taking the kid under his wing; otherwise, things would have been
fine, and it's only a question of when he'll be caught.
Melanie Griffith has found a fitting trashy vehicle if I think about what happened with
Cecil B. Demented. Vincent Kartheiser seems to have some acting talent
and will be better in The Unsaid. Natasha Gregson Wagner is fair yet typical.
By the way, she's Natalie Wood's daughter. But make no mistake: James Woods made everybody better. The biggest
surprise is the uncredited cameo by Lou Diamond Phillips as a gay mastermind.
The writing is consistently excellent, making it easy to be absorbed by what's going on. Larry Clark tends to
have several shocking moments in every film he makes, but this time, it's rather tame which is fine by me. In
case if you're confused, the setting is meant to take place in the 70's, hence the dated cars and clothes.
All in all, if you are looking for a combination of Bonnie and Clyde and
Drugstore Cowboy, Another Day in Paradise is your best bet.
Another Stakeout (1993)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
8/15
8/15:
Directed by John Badham, Another Stakeout is six years too late as a sequel to Stakeout.
Rosie O'Donnell sucks, and everything she touches turns into shit. That's been the case here. Did Richard Dreyfuss and Emilio
Estevez need her to keep the comedy going? I thought they were doing fine on their own the last time. Instead, it's
Rosie who takes over and becomes the center of attention at the expense of everybody's screen time, and, for the love of
humanity, why?
I can't believe Richard Dreyfuss and Emilio Estevez shaved off their mustaches. The ill-advised move takes a lot away from
their characters. The former looks too old for the role; thankfully, he'll erase the memory of his work by appearing in
Mr. Holland's Opus to show everybody why he's better suited for dramas. The latter is
only an afterthought.
The plot is formulaic and repetitive. There are no laughs, and everything looks tired, having been done a billion of
times before. The ending is stupid and predictable. Of course, they were going to win at the end of the day. The stakeout operation
looks amateurish. How do these idiots have jobs? By the way, who has heard of a million-dollar home without a security system?
All in all, will somebody please explain to me the appeal of Rosie O'Donnell?
Antwone Fisher (2002)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
6/03, 7/04, 3/07, 3/15
3/07:
Once in a while, somebody will make a film that's inspiring and uplifting.
Arthur Penn did The Miracle Worker. Then, there was
Rocky by John G. Avildsen at the hands of Sylvester
Stallone. Later in the 80's, John G. Avildsen accomplished it again with Lean on Me along with Jim
Sheridan's My Left Foot. Then, there were Hoop Dreams
and Million Dollar Baby. To my surprise, an esteemed actor
adds another to this list of impressive films, and it's Antwone Fisher by Denzel Washington for his directorial debut.
The wonderful introduction of the boy in his dream appears amateurishly conceived until it makes sense later. Then,
the storytelling becomes polished to the point where it's ready to go deep into the core of Antwone's conflict. Strong
feelings are brought out while Derek Luke and Denzel Washington turn in powerful performances as their characters try to
unlock the mystery. Finally, the film is wrapped up with a beautiful ending.
Antwone Fisher is how I view Denzel Washington in terms of integrity and values. It serves his image well.
Many scenes are so good that I'm moved. So, I'm inclined to say it's one of the best films I've seen in my life, and I
hope to see another from Denzel Washington that's in the same vein.
All in all, Antwone Fisher may seem like a ripped-off black version of
Good Will Hunting, but it's that good.
3/07:
Antwone Fisher is an emotional picture with Derek Luke giving the most powerful performance of 2002.
All in all, Antwone Fisher is the best work Denzel Washington had done since Glory.
Any Given Sunday (1999)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/04, 4/08
4/08:
Any Given Sunday is the modern version of North Dallas Forty about the chaos
and lifestyle of professional football.
The violent editing simply rapes my eyes and has me thinking of scheduling an appointment with the ophthalmologist sometime
soon. On the DVD cover, there's an exclamation, "AS GOOD AS MOVIES GET" when it should be "AS BAD AS MOVIES GET."
However, believe it or not, I do think of Any Given Sunday at times because I'm a fan of the NFL and see the
relevance and similar parallels. Sometimes, there are moments that are uncanny in real life which makes me wonder
if Oliver Stone knew ahead of time.
Of the performances, I love Lawrence Taylor's whose bit in the sauna is scary good. It's reminiscent of Marlon Brando when
he was covered in shadows at the end of Apocalypse Now. Unfortunately, the rest is
unwatchable, leading to this foregone conclusion: nobody had seen a football game before.
All in all, there isn't a difference between watching Any Given Sunday and banging my head repeatedly against a wall.
Any Which Way You Can (1980)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
Instead of a dud from Buddy Van Horn, Any Which Way You Can is entertaining.
The sequel may not be the most sensible picture made, but it lives up to the expectations that were set by the original.
It's been a continuity of the same feeling. The more cultish the film is, the campier and more weird it gets.
Once again, the cast is outstanding. However, Geoffrey Lewis gets the short end of the stick when it comes to screen time. The
biggest winner is John Quade as Cholla the leader of Black Widows. His performance is gold, setting the tone.
Although the orangutan looks different, the change doesn't disrupt the flow. I'm impressed with the friendship between him
and Clint Eastwood's character given the fact that they were slated to fight each other at the end.
All in all, despite the ups and downs, Any Which Way You Can is an enjoyable cult flick, but the original is a shade
better.
Anzio (1968)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
5/24
5/24:
Despite the ambitious title, Anzio is another one of these "war is pointless" pictures that have nothing to do with
reality.
Forget the fact that Robert Mitchum is in it. He plays the most invincible man alive and has no need for guns or grenades
to survive any battle. At one point, he falls asleep in the middle of the barbed wires, and nobody spots him in broad
daylight. Further insulting my intelligence is a bright white dog who's next to him and belongs to a German patrolman.
At least, I like the beginning of the film when all soldiers made a bet that the guy (Mark Damon) would fall off within
twenty seconds while swinging on the chandelier as they're throwing tons of stuff at him. By the way, before the Higgins
boats landed on the beach, Robert Mitchum's character said, "It was here at Anzio that Nero fiddled while Rome burned."
That's not true. The fiddle wasn't invented back then and wouldn't come into existence for another thousand of years, and
Nero wasn't in Anzio but Antium when it happened.
I know Wolfgang Preiss had appeared in so many war pictures, but this is the first time ever he gave an impressive
performance. It's a pity that his screen time is so short. On the other hand, Peter Falk has no business playing a soldier.
He has a glass eye, for goodness' sake! Way more than enough to be declared 4-F. At least, Peter Falk has a good man-to-man
talk with Robert Mitchum, and the movie should've included more of it.
All in all, once you've seen one, you've seen them all, and Anzio is just exactly that.
The Apartment (1960)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
Five Oscars including Best Picture went to The Apartment...really?
That wasn't an outstanding movie but rather disgusting. Did the voters back then notice the little film called
Psycho by Alfred Hitchcock? Of course not...it wasn't even nominated. Today,
everybody knows Psycho is one of the greatest made and remains timeless
while The Apartment should be forgotten for good.
The story is basically about an apartment pimp working for his higher-ups (read them as "predators")
so they can fuck their mistresses in private and, in return, he'll be promoted in the insurance company. This
is what passed for entertainment in 1960? Ooo-kay...it must be all these white men cheering it on just like how
they did for In the Company of Men. At best, this is lawsuit galore,
starting with the wrongful termination of Mr. Sheldrake's secretary.
I hate Jack Lemmon's character. In fact, after seeing the film, I now think less of the actor. He's a weasel with
a punchable face. Ditto for Fred MacMurray who plays an all-time asshole. I can't believe
these stupid bimbos who are willing to sleep with these old men. It's a fact that Shirley MacLaine is a whore in
real life, and here she proves it in The Apartment. Don't forget she's Warren Beatty's sister,
and psst...the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That's why the best part is when Shirley MacLaine got
slapped in the face by the doctor repeatedly.
People say this is a comedy picture. Uh, funny how? The topic is depressing. I don't see how people could
laugh at Fran's attempted suicide and the constant feeling of worthlessness carried by the mistresses after
being merely viewed as a six-month lay. Then again, these women are stupid! I didn't even want to see the
predictable ending in the first place. The dialogue-laden script by Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond...ugh!
Who the hell uses the suffix "-wise" that often? It's been said twenty-two times in the film.
All in all, Psycho, not The Apartment, is the true Best Picture
winner of 1960.
Apartment Zero (1988)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
Remember the cocky know-it-all asshole named Ellis in Die Hard?
That's Hart Bochner. Sure, he's easily recognizable, but Apartment Zero? I had no idea it was him playing Jack Carney
until afterwards. The lack of his beard fooled me big time.
It goes without saying the movie begins and ends with Hart Bochner which was going nowhere for the first fifteen minutes
until he showed up to rent a room from the socially awkward cinephile (Colin Firth). That's when things started cooking.
Having invested a lot of energy into the somewhat slow-moving film, I got let down in the final thirty minutes when the director
decided to be less disciplined. The final result is a disappointment.
I'm clueless as to why Jack started to crack at the airport. The whole homoerotic thing between the two male roommates is
obvious, and yet they do nothing to each other? Upon discovering the truth, I guess the cinephile hadn't learned anything
given his extensive film knowledge. He should've been told of the clue "John Dall, Bradford Dillman, and Scott
Wilson." Then, maybe his scattered brain will figure out what these films were about.
However, thanks to the close-ups at perfect distance, the cinematography is excellent which feels like a nice throwback to
the 60's style of foreign filmmaking which was shot on location in Buenos Aires, the capital of Argentina. Additionally,
the ensemble acting is strong.
All in all, Apartment Zero asks for a lot but will ultimately disappoint.
Apocalypse Now (1979)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
3/04, 6/07, 8/15
6/07:
I'm sure there's a debate when it comes to which Vietnam War picture is better: Apocalypse Now or
Platoon.
Honestly, they're both outstanding with each having a different feel. Platoon focuses on
reality while Apocalypse Now is surreal. The performances are excellent, but it's Martin Sheen as the witness who
makes the biggest difference. It's also hard to forget how special Robert Duvall is as Wild Bill Kilgore.
Meanwhile, it's a director-driven picture with many beautiful special effects. The Doors' song
"The End" at the beginning is perfect. So is "Ride of the Valkyries" by Richard Wagner.
All in all, Apocalypse Now is among the best films of the decade as it tops madness with more madness.
8/15:
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning."
That's what Apocalypse Now is about: the exploration of insanity during the journey toward the heart of darkness.
Sometimes, I think it's about the deterioration of Marlon Brando's mind. That being said, each character makes a valid
case of being the most insane.
The performances are outstanding. The standouts are Martin Sheen, Robert Duvall, and Marlon Brando who's
effective with shadows to add more to the surreal look. Some of the lines are unforgettable:
"You smell that? Do you smell that? Napalm, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of napalm
in the morning."
"The horror...the horror..."
"You're an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks, to collect a bill."
"Charlie don't surf!"
"I've seen horrors...horrors that you've seen."
"If I say it's safe to surf this beach, Captain, then it's safe to surf this beach! I mean, I'm not afraid to surf this
place, I'll surf this whole fucking place!"
"The smell, you know that gasoline smell, the whole hill. Smelled like victory. Someday this war's gonna end."
All in all, Apocalypse Now is a bona fide cinema masterpiece.
Apollo 13 (1995)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
1/04, 4/18
4/18:
Oh, excuse me, Ron Howard...why is Apollo 13 about saving Tom Hanks in outer space?
Does he realize there are others with him? And their names are Jack Swigert and Fred Haise? That's all I saw
in the film: the need to save Tom Hanks as drama unfolds. To my no surprise, Jim Lovell is saved because he's
Tom Hanks!
Oh,
yeah, his two buddies, Jack Swigert and Fred Haise, managed to make out okay. Thank you for not asking or
caring. By the way, Apollo 13 was meant to be America's third Moon landing mission, but a mechanical failure
occurred along the way, causing an on-board explosion which deprived the spacecraft most of its oxygen supply
and electric power. Hence, the three astronauts had to turn around and head for home which occurred on
April 11-17, 1970.
Although the film is somewhat accurate and detailed with no actual mission footage, the high level of technospeak
is over my head. At the same time, the special effects are awful, especially during the launch scenes. I didn't
care for Lovell's family who was the only one to get attention as compared to the other two.
Of the performances, Ed Harris' is worth mentioning. He had NASA experience by playing John Glenn in
The Right Stuff. Everybody else is fine enough to see the show through.
The famous quote that's uttered in the film "Houston, we have a problem" is wrong as it's actually
"Houston, we've had a problem." "Failure is not an option" was never mentioned, either.
All in all, I would've liked Apollo 13 more if it wasn't about Tom Hanks all the time.
The Apostle (1997)
Rate:
10
Viewed:
1/15, 4/19
1/15:
Robert Duvall wrote the screenplay for The Apostle in six weeks during the 80's because the traveling evangelist
was a role that he found interesting and most wanted to perform.
After winning the Oscar for Tender Mercies, Robert Duvall shopped his work around
Hollywood to get the funding he needed but to no avail. About fifteen years later, he finally decided to put up his own money
to fund and direct it. The results depicting the power of faith couldn't have been more astonishing.
From the get-go, The Apostle seemed like a revival of Elmer Gantry. It's impossible
to forget Burt Lancaster's fiery performance, and I could never think anyone should dare to emulate him again. But it's
not that kind of picture which makes a mockery of the church and its hypocrisy. Instead, it's a pure spiritual awakening with
insights into the churchgoing culture of the Deep South. There are many scenes that are extremely moving. Robert Duvall is very
sincere about it with nothing overdone.
The soliloquial language Robert Duvall's character engages in isn't overbearing or tedious; on the contrary, it's reassuring,
positive, and soothing. What's fascinating is he became this character and never separated himself.
To achieve realism, not many in the cast are professional actors as they're first-timers in order to show an accurate representation
of the typical churchgoing members.
Although there are many good performances, Rick Dial as Elmo is the best of them; his presence and mannerisms elevate
the film by a level because he believes in what he's seeing around him and soaks it all in. Walton Goggins is excellent
and has a dramatic moment during the long sermon scene at the end. Farrah Fawcett is a surprise choice as the
wife, and she does a terrific job. The woman who plays Sonny's mother is Johnny Cash's wife. John Beasley,
Miranda Richardson, and Billy Bob Thornton round out the rest.
There are similar parallelisms between the lead characters of Schindler's List and
The Apostle. Oskar Schindler was a member of the Nazi party who threw lavish parties, wooed women, and procured favors
to get his wartime business off the ground. At the same time, he contradicted everything about himself by saving the Jewish from
perishing in the Holocaust. At the end, his goodness won out over his badness.
Similarly, Sonny is a cheating womanizer who killed a man and skips town to evade the authorities. On a mission from Texas,
he goes to a small town in Louisiana to start up a small church, give stirring sermons, donate food and provisions, and
bring positive energy to the townsfolk. Finally, he's arrested for murder and is sent away for good. Hence, there seems to
be a question if he did enough to show his goodness had overcome his badness. Obviously, there's a great need for him to
repent his sins.
During the first hour, I was skeptical whether it was going to be Elmer Gantry or perhaps
Leap of Faith all over again. But as soon as I got into the spiritual awakening, Robert
Duvall won me over with his performance and his frankness about the subject. Thanks to Elmo's radio commentary, the film reaches
the zenith during the moving conversion scene with Billy Bob Thornton's character. The final sermon scene is brilliant to give
it a fitting finish.
All in all, The Apostle is one of the best, most unconventional films I've seen, and it's an overpowering work that
Robert Duvall should be proud of.
4/19:
The Apostle paints a complex picture of a religion-obsessed criminal who uses the power of faith to move human beings.
It was Robert Duvall's own idea to document the religious practices of the Deep South. He wrote the screenplay during the 80's and
shopped it around for studio approval but after finding no takers, paid for it with his own money by directing and starring
in the film.
As authentic as many scenes are, the people involved are real-life ministers, faith healers, gospel singers, and
congregation members. The cast is incredible which includes Farrah Fawcett, June Carter Cash, Billy Bob Thornton, John Beasley,
Miranda Richardson, Walton Goggins, and Rick Dial. There are many great moments, but my two favorites are when Sonny entered
the church to make a $100 contribution and Elmo's reporting of the bulldozer incident that ended with Sonny kneeling down
with the troublemaker.
Recently, I read a book by Thomas Sowell entitled Black Rednecks and White Liberals, and he talked
about the white cracker culture and how the South treated religion by making an emotional showsmanship out of it without much of
calm, straight talk to interpret Bible stories. Hence, there's a lot of it that's shown in the film.
All in all, The Apostle tells a riveting story of loss, faith, perseverance, rebuilding, and justice.
The Appaloosa (1966)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
11/06
11/06:
At times, The Appaloosa appears to work out well.
However, for the most part, the film is bad. Marlon Brando tries his best, but it's not enough. The story is
simplistic and derivative, bringing back memories of Guns for San Sebastian
with Anthony Quinn and ironically Anjanette Comer.
I didn't realize until afterwards that the bad guy, although I wouldn't label him as such, was John Saxon. Although he's a
swarthy-looking guy, why couldn't the director cast a Mexican instead?
All in all, if you want to know what an Appaloosa horse looks like, you'll get the answer by seeing The Appaloosa;
otherwise, it's a good selection if you're bored on a Sunday afternoon.
Apt Pupil (1998)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
6/05
6/05:
I hate Brad Renfro and Ian McKellen, and to my misfortune, they both appear in Apt Pupil.
It's hard to say which of the two is more odious. The story is too implausible to believe. A meek, naïve kid
asserts his control over a former Nazi officer because of what happened during World War II.
So, what's the worst that could happen? History shows most former Nazis who got caught many years afterwards to
be tried for war crimes were rarely given serious punishment. Hey, Ian. Enough is enough with Nazism. Let...it...go.
All in all, the premise of Apt Pupil has my eyes rolling.
Arabesque (1966)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
3/25
3/25:
I was back and forth between '5' and '6' before settling on the former for Arabesque.
Although much better than Charade, it's still a rip-off of Hitchcock's
formula. Cary Grant was actually offered the leading role, but he showed no interest, so it went to Gregory
Peck. A lot of people thought he was either miscast or wrong for this type of film. To be honest with you,
he's pretty good by doing a different take of a Grant-esque character.
I've never liked Sophia Loren and don't care if she's glamorous or whatever. She cannot act and is frigid,
period. I don't think she had ever developed real chemistry with any of her romantic leads. At the same time,
I don't want to say Audrey Hepburn could've done better because they're exactly the same type...always
about the clothes and the makeup. Enough!
One thing that Arabesque has going for itself is style. The photography is excellent throughout and is
superior to most Hitchcock's films. I like the camera work, especially with the reflections. It's cool
and different, reminding me of the avant-garde work in Bullitt. The title
sequence is well-done and is on the same level as The Last Emperor's.
Why I'm down on the film for the most part, apart from the white thespians playing Arabs, is the story. It didn't
make sense for the longest time. When it finally did with the cipher turning out to be a red herring, the last
half-hour became easier to digest. The filmmakers knew all along this would be a problem and said, "Our only
hope is to make it so visually exciting the audience will never have time to work out what the hell is going on."
Intelligence is certainly low throughout. For example, when Pollock, Azir, and Jena were running away on their
horses from the helicopter, they should've stopped in the middle of the forest and stayed there to avoid being
spotted from above. Ditto for the helicopter having no reason to go underneath the railway bridge.
Shooting at these three while staying parallel to it in the air would do.
All in all, I don't mind seeing Arabesque again.
Arabian Nights (2000)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
7/20
7/20:
The 2000 film version of Arabian Nights is too much, shouldn't have been three hours long, and is an excuse to
show off untold number of costumes, special effects, and sets.
This snoozefest took me almost two weeks to complete, and I couldn't watch more than twenty minutes without taking a mental
break. I'm telling you: Arabian Nights was so boring that I would play it before my bedtime because I knew I could
get a good night's sleep this way.
Basically, this one is about a mad insomniac sultan who has an unquenchable thirst for something that resembles TV and ends
up winning a grand sword battle against his estranged brother's army by transforming an element from each story into something
tangible for warfare. So...am I supposed to be stupid or what?
Speaking of stories, I can't help but be bothered by the anachronisms. The present-day setting seems 8th century
or thereabouts, but Islam wasn't yet a religious force; hence, there's no need to place references this ubiquitously.
Similarly, there's a combination of Moroccan and Turkish locations, but the former is to the west of North Africa and
the latter is the most northern country of the Middle East. Yemen is also seen but is actually located all the way to
the south. Thus, how can the people in the film be in all of these places at once?
Having been prominently shown in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade,
Petra, which is located in Jordan, had declined too much during
the 4th century before it was totally abandoned by the 12th century. Complemented by the sight of Terracotta
Army (which dates back to the 3rd century BC but not discovered until 1974, making it impossible for people
in the Middle East to know anything about it), "Aladdin and the Magic Lamp" is set somewhere in the Mongol Empire among the
Chinese, but pray tell me, what does the title Arabian Nights supposed to indicate?
Despite the low video quality that took me a while to get used to, I'm going to be generous by giving the film a rating of
'4' because everybody put in a lot of effort to make it a sweeping spectacle, hence the $30 million budget which is huge
for a TV miniseries. In that respect, the production values are first-rate all the way through; unfortunately, the stories,
which keep jumping around, never grab my attention, no matter how lavish the production sets and costumes are. At the same
time, the acting is generally fine.
All in all, more than anything, Arabian Nights is a children's film, but If I was a kid, I would've been bored out of
my mind.
Arachnophobia (1990)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
11/02, 12/21
12/21:
I've seen Arachnophobia plenty of times going back to when it was theatrically released, and there's one thing that
hasn't changed: it's a genuinely scary movie.
Yet I label it as a horror-comedy. It's the spiders that provide the most scares, but Jeff Daniels, John Goodman, and
others offer subtle comic relief for a change. There are moments of terror that are unbelievably effective, and
they never age for the slightest bit. The spiders are real as they're Avondale spiders from Australia and New Zealand but
are 100% harmless in real life.
I can see why Steven Spielberg signed on as an executive producer because there are similarities to Jaws.
Arachnophobia has a great backstory to make the rest of the premise be totally believable although the principal
characters aren't likeable. In the long run, there's a bit of The Birds going on with a
murder mystery at hand.
Of the performances, I like a couple the best: Julian Sands and John Goodman. Of the former, it's a
good role that he plays it straight, and the latter, it's perfect to match his personality. I'm surprised, for
an esteemed entomologist, Atherton is stupid enough to enter the barn in the dark. On the other hand, Jeff Daniels is great as usual.
All in all, when people think of The Birds and
Jaws, they should also think of Arachnophobia.
Are We There Yet? (2005)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
10/06
10/06:
Are We There Yet? is the kind of film that produces mixed feelings for me.
There are a lot of things I don't like, but it does have a couple of redeeming qualities. To start off with
the negatives, I find it hard to believe that some guy who runs a sport collectibles store (who shops there nowadays?)
owns a $75,000 fully loaded Cadillac Escalade.
The next one is that it's difficult to like a picture if I absolutely hate the children. Why should I give a rat's ass
about them? I want to be entertained, not bombshelled by these spoiled monsters. If these children weren't black, they would've
been full-fledged members of HJ.
However, I consider the mother to be the biggest villain of the show, taking cheap shots at Ice Cube's character to make him do a
lot of things for her. It's disgusting. Sometimes, I think the appropriate title should've been Are We Done Yet?
On the other hand, the movie doesn't contain profanity which is good. Ice Cube does surprisingly all right,
and his character gets better over time. The ending is too nice, but it doesn't excuse what I've had to endure.
All in all, Are We There Yet? is Planes, Trains & Automobiles
meets Problem Child.
Arlington Road (1999)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
9/08
9/08:
Arlington Road is the poor man's 12 Monkeys.
Didn't Jeff Bridges do this role already in Blown Away? Tim Robbins bothers me
with his phony sincere acting, and Joan Cusack, whom I've groaned after seeing her name in the opening credits,
continues to pile on her awfulness.
In many ways, director Mark Pellington tries to be clever with the story and makes an earnest effort to
inject a "heart-pounding" feeling behind it. But guess what? It's still a dumb picture. The first five minutes reeks of
amateurism due to the lack of focus. Instead, it's Jeff Bridges who guides me from start to finish.
At times, he overacts by leaving his mouth agape about three quarters of the time.
Jeff Bridges, playing the professor of history at a major university who's a one-time husband to the deceased FBI agent, should
give a hint that his character is highly intelligent who employs enough common sense to carry himself well. Yet his
actions are so contradictory that I'm unable to find Arlington Road a smart picture by any means.
One cardinal rule of secrecy is: don't relay important things to anyone who can't be 100% trusted. In other words, the
professor should've confided in his friend who works for the FBI to get the issue under wraps without a problem.
That way, the situation will be defused in time. But no...the filmmakers must have an idiot for a professor.
Also, Faraday doesn't cover his tracks well, either. When he laid down to take a nap with the high school yearbook that's
wide-open in the middle of the yard, it's a dead giveaway of what's to come. Similarly, he did it again while doing
research in a small study room.
Meanwhile, I don't care much for the ending which is a sharp reminiscent of 12 Monkeys
and Fight Club. There are plenty annoying reminders of
Invasion of the Body Snatchers given the ambience.
Why do the characters often suddenly appear out of nowhere? Is it an attempt to outdo Hitchcock? See, Mark Pellington
is such an amateur.
What makes me hate the film more is the 9/11 outcome, forcing me to suffer through the corniness of
patriotism à la Armageddon. When the professor crashed his car in the middle of the alley, I thought right away of
a great idea how the film was going to end, and needless to say, it turned out to be exactly that.
All in all, despite Jeff Bridges' decent performance, Arlington Road is below average, lacks intelligence, is devoid of slick
direction, and doesn't make for a soft viewing on the eyes.
Armageddon (1998)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/04, 6/24
6/24:
After finishing Deep Impact, I wanted to revisit Armageddon and see how it holds up today.
Well, it's still an all-time bad movie that makes it hard for me to focus on any scene because it's so bombastic, overblown, and
overwhelming with a bunch of cheesy Norman Rockwell bullshit shots of good-natured people. The show is actually better
when it's calm, but that only happens like two percent of the time. The biggest mistake is things going haywire once
the two space shuttles hooked up with the Russian Space Station Mir. It's when I lost interest for good.
Forget logic; it isn't even there. Everything I've seen is simply impossible. According to IMDb, "NASA shows this film during
their management training program. New managers are given the task of trying to spot as many errors as possible. At least 168
have been found." The most accurate outcome is that everybody dies, no matter what. Tons of rocks, especially the big ones,
hitting the space shuttles will be enough to seal the astronauts' fate. Another mistake is having them fly so close to each other.
"The size of Texas"? That will make the asteroid almost 1,000 miles wide which is absolutely huge for a dozen of people to handle, hence
the need for many, many nuclear warheads, not just one. According to the DVD commentary, Ben Affleck asked Michael Bay "why it
was easier to train oil drillers to become astronauts than it was to train astronauts to become oil drillers, and he told me
to shut the fuck up, so that was the end of that talk." At least, he tried to make sense out of the absurdity of it all.
The acting is fine. I don't have any complaints about anyone in the cast except for Liv Tyler. She's awful, and I hate her. Some
of the characters aren't shown that much at times. A good example is Chick, who's played by Will Patton, during the drilling
scenes on the asteroid. Billy Bob Thornton does a good job of making the show seemingly credible on one end.
All in all, Deep Impact is a better movie than Armageddon because it's lucid, clear,
and not overdone in spite of the patently simplistic solutions.
Armed and Dangerous (1986)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/13
5/13:
Armed and Dangerous has left my head shaking.
Comedy works well when John Candy is teamed up with Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, or Steve Martin. But Eugene Levy?
He's the primary reason why the film fell apart. Eugene Levy isn't a funny guy and has never been.
Armed and Dangerous is a disappointing vehicle from Mark Lester given that he directed
Class of 1984, Commando,
Showdown in Little Tokyo, and Class of 1999.
Of course, the glitzy blonde-haired Meg Ryan,
whose acting ability can be best described as über awful, can't save it, either. Robert Loggia is too good for
this piece of trash. Why does the truck driver repeatedly call John Candy's character "slim"?
All in all, Armed and Dangerous is a dud.
Army of Darkness (1992)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
6/03, 4/08
4/08:
Army of Darkness is the third part of The Evil Dead trilogy and is the silliest
of them all.
Even the movie poster is equally ridiculous. Although I like the first two because of the well-done
special effects, Army of Darkness doesn't hold up as well. Rather, it's one of the worst crap I've seen.
There's neither sense nor sanity throughout, forcing me to say, "What the fuck?" every ten minutes.
The plot is only dependent on the idea of Ash taking Book of Dead without saying the words. So, think about it: if the book
was lying right there, shouldn't the Deadites have taken it as easily from the get-go, thus avoiding the entire mess?
As for Ash who was an affable guy in the first two films, I don't like him this time because he's an egomaniac with too much hubris.
In the interim, some of the battles are drawn out with no purpose, causing me to yawn most of the time.
All in all, forget Army of Darkness; you should stick with the first two films.
The Arrangement (1969)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
1/22
1/22:
An all-time bad movie, The Arrangement confirms what I've known all along: Elia Kazan sucked when he didn't have
Marlon Brando or James Dean on board.
Instead of them, it's Kirk Douglas who puts on a bizarre performance. Burt Lancaster did it so much better in
The Swimmer. With the exception of
A Streetcar Named Desire, Elia Kazan doesn't know what to do with actresses. It's
been proven again with Faye Dunaway who's beautiful but flat. I'm surprised Deborah Kerr let herself be portrayed in an
unflattering light.
In a way, the acting seems fine, but the editing, that's coupled with Batman pop art, is jarring.
The movie keeps jumping ahead and ahead, and I have no idea what to make of it. The plot is simple and can be told in a minute:
the husband is depressed because his wife is ugly and he badly wants a fuck girl for an office assistant as a matter of
convenience. In many ways, it's a 50's Sirk formula being applied in 1969 which is the same year when
Easy Rider came out.
If Kirk Douglas looks bad, it's because he caught the Hong Kong flu three times which killed between one and four
million people worldwide. It's been rumored that Elia Kazan wanted Marlon Brando instead, but he had problems of his
own, coming off many flops, and therefore was box-office poison. The Godfather wouldn't
roll around for another three years. Even Charlton Heston turned down the lead role, calling the character a "loser."
All in all, based on his piece-of-shit novel, Elia Kazan shouldn't have gone ahead with the filming of The Arrangement
in the first place.
The Art of War (2000)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
By far the worst picture of Wesley Snipes' career hitherto, The Art of War is a relentlessly boring,
incomprehensible espionage actioner.
I couldn't watch it for more than twenty minutes and had to take a mental break each time. The longer the movie went on,
the more it turned out to be a near rip-off of Mission: Impossible but with a
Chinese slant. By the way, I don't understand why the U.N. building has a glass plate that features a gun logo in the middle.
High in charisma but low in robotic behavior, Wesley Snipes was involved in plenty of highly
entertaining films during the 90's such as New Jack City,
Passenger 57, and Murder at 1600, but it's been the
opposite for him here, marking the end of his A-list status. He would eventually serve time in prison for tax evasion and
star in many direct-to-video pictures.
Apart from the incoherent screenplay and the hard-to-see visuals which must have been shot in front of the green screen most of the
time, it's the cast of big-name thespians that bothers me. Jack Ryan would've facepalmed himself if he saw his wife acting
this way. A superlative actor, Donald Sutherland continues to find himself in bad films. Ditto for Michael Biehn who's
average. Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, like Wesley Snipes, has done better work in Rising Sun.
Most of the action shown is banal, and, at one point, shamelessly steals a special effect from
The Matrix. Wesley
Snipes pulls off martial arts moves perfectly, but none of them wows me. Sometimes, he jumps off buildings from
one or two stories high and lands on cars or the ground without a hitch before taking off to get his man. In reality, most people
will have broken their legs.
At least, there are a couple of coincidences in regard to Wesley Snipes and Michael Biehn. Both were found reading Sun Tzu's
book The Art of War in separate films: Passenger 57 and K2, respectively.
And they share the same birthday: July 31. Incidentally, Michael Biehn is older than Wesley Snipes by six years.
All in all, Wesley Snipes shouldn't have trashed his career by getting involved with rubbish like The Art of War.
Arthur (1981)
Rate:
1
Viewed:
2/11
2/11:
Wow, Arthur has left me shocked enough to question how truly stupid the people were in 1981.
What was the Academy thinking? It was the year of Chariots of Fire,
Raiders of the Lost Ark,
Escape from New York, Body Heat,
Das Boot, Scanners,
On Golden Pond, and Zorro, The Gay Blade.
Surely, they're stellar films that are heads and shoulders above Arthur, yet this
dreck managed to secure a Best Actor nomination for Dudley Moore and a Best Supporting Actor win for John Gielgud. You must
thoroughly joking me because they're terrible!
It has to be one of the most effortless pictures I've seen, and the script is barely thought-out. John Gielgud
hardly does much. Again, I'm still shocked he won the Oscar. The characters aren't properly developed. Even the fiancée
is 100% cardboard with no shred of humanity, and playing her, Liza Minnelli looks ghastly pale throughout.
I didn't know why the butler made snide remarks about his employer. Interestingly, after he passed away,
it's as if he never existed. Watching Dudley Moore attempt to roll off his feeble "jokes" (which are bad, bad,
bad, bad!) while laughing maniacally, I was like, "Really?"
From start to finish, the film is as unfunny as it can be, and I didn't laugh once. The reason why Arthur is
hard to watch is that it's about an alcoholic making a fool of himself. There's nothing comic about it or drunk
driving. Historically, millions, if not billions, of people have thrown their lives away to alcohol, and it still continues.
I ask again: why does everybody want me to find the movie funny? On the other hand, why should I fall in love with an
alcoholic who does nothing with his life but drink? To make matters worse, the fact that Arthur is a super millionaire—nay,
almost a billionaire—is a slap in the face for the regular folks who are trying to get through day-to-day while surviving on
minimum wage. What if the situations are reversed and it's Arthur who's on skid row?
All in all, Arthur is the worst picture of 1981.
Article 99 (1992)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
4/20, 6/22
4/20:
One character asked, "What is Article 99?"
The film's definition is: "Unless an illness/injury is related to military service, a veteran is not eligible for VA hospital
benefits." In other words, the military just wants to spend money on defense but save money by deprioritizing health care.
Highlighting a terrible situation at one badly broken VA hospital, Article 99 isn't a strong film, but the main
reason to see it is the good performances put on by a talented cast, most especially Ray Liotta, Kiefer Sutherland, and Eli
Wallach. The story is kind of shocking because I've kept seeing "Support the Troops" bumper stickers many times yet the
United States doesn't care about them after their usefulness has run out.
Yes, it's happening nowadays and has been so since the Vietnam War. In the past six years, more than 45,000 veterans
and active-duty service members have committed suicide which is more than the total number of Americans killed in both
Afghanistan and Iraq wars. The gung-ho military culture says, "To seek help is to show weakness." So, they don't.
There have been horror stories about VA hospitals across the United States. One described his experience that's akin to
"getting medical care at the post office." Long wait lines; overcrowded, understaffed, and underfunded hospitals;
misdiagnoses; terrible food; stacks of bills; and, most of all, heavy bureaucratic red tape are rampant
despite the veterans being told they'll receive the finest health care for free.
All in all, Article 99 might have retained credibility if it was less silly toward the end.
6/22:
Article 99 is a good movie with strong cast, but it's hard for me to rate it higher than '7'.
The plot revolves around veterans health care that's in the mold of The Hospital. A lot of
what goes on in VA hospitals as shown is probably true, but it becomes sillier toward the end. On the other hand, the cast is
first-rate: Ray Liotta, Kiefer Sutherland, Forest Whitaker, John C. McGinley, Eli Wallach, Lea Thompson, and John Mahoney, among
others. How did the filmmakers manage to collect so much talent in one place? Many went on to appear in ER.
All in all, if you liked M*A*S*H and The Hospital,
Article 99 should be right up your alley.
As Good as Dead (1995)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/13
6/13:
Low-key films can turn out well, and one of them is As Good as Dead.
The winning features are the acting, the noirish feel, the mystery, and the pace. Sure, it's predictable as soon
as Judge Reinhold appears, but he makes the show fun to watch. I've never thought of him as anything else other than a
comedian. There's a Tex Murphy look about him. If you aren't familiar with the name, just look it up on the internet
along with Under a Killing Moon.
Traci Lords should be credited for getting the film off to a fast, upbeat start, and Crystal Bernard of Wings fame does a
nice job of carrying it until Judge Reinhold steps in to help her out more.
The biggest downfall is that Susan Warfield's identity could've been cross-checked based on her weight, height, and other
characteristics to make sure it's the same person. There's no way the company forgot about Susan right after her death.
I'm sure there will be pictures of her around the office.
If the real Susan showed up at the police station with her lawyer, she would've gotten a slap on the wrist by admitting
to a honest mistake. But she went too far and made a series of blunders. Involuntary manslaughter or negligent homicide,
although as harsh as it sounds, makes the most sense because Susan might have had her friend unintentionally killed because
of the wrong blood type. No matter what, the premise is good for a mystery thriller picture. So, all the
credit goes to Larry Cohen for penning another story after he did Best Seller and
Guilty as Sin.
All in all, As Good as Dead is a little-known gem in the neo-noir genre.
As Young as You Feel (1951)
Rate:
4
Viewed:
8/23
8/23:
Results could've been different for As Young as You Feel if Paddy Chayefsky wrote the screenplay.
Instead, Lamar Trotti turned his short story into an unbelievably talky, boring movie that's tailor-made for a
mythical TV show called Guess What Happened to Me at Work Today. If something could be said in ten words, Trotti
managed to stretch it by five times as much. Ironically, Paddy Chayefsky took the story back and converted it into an
episode ("The Great American Hoax") for a TV series, The 20th Century Fox Hour, being the final work of his
television career.
The supporting cast is somewhat all-star as it includes Jean Peters, Thelma Ritter, Marilyn Monroe, and Russ Tamblyn who's
terrible and in dire need of more acting lessons. As much as I want to strangle her, Thelma Ritter plays the worst character
who won't shut the hell up. Only Monty Woolley steals the show as John Hodges aka Harold P. Cleveland. However, his household
is too much; cutting down the number of relatives will have been a good idea.
As for Marilyn Monroe, it's interesting to see her playing a secretary. At first sight, I thought McKinley was cheating on his
wife with her. Why? The simple reason is she looks stunning. Then, I must ask her: why is she there? Go be a model or
an actress. Her beauty is being wasted on a crummy corporation like this. By the way, what kind of idiot reminds a co-worker
not to say anything about the Cleveland hoax when it's best to mention nothing at all?
All in all, As Bored as You Feel sounds right.
Ascenseur pour l'échafaud (1958)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
4/14
4/14:
Among my pet peeves as a cinéaste is watching an overrated Criterion Collection film.
Ascenseur pour l'échafaud, which is translated as Elevator to the Gallows, is such that.
It's filled with brain-dead characters and pretentious acting and has a stupid plot which is basically this: an
ex-military employee (who doesn't look the part...far from it) succeeds in a harebrained elaborate scheme to
kill his boss and is eventually stuck in an elevator overnight.
Before the latter happens, he goes to his car but forgets to get rid of the ninja climbing hook (Duh! I was
like, "Hey...don't forget the toy, moron" when he entered his office to answer the phone). Then, he leaves the
car running in the middle of Paris for goodness' sake. The pathetic-looking boy, who's the biggest idiot if I've
ever seen one, steals the car while the melodramatic actress jumps in with him. They go for a joyride until
reaching a motel where the idiot boy kills a couple the next day.
As for the fake military guy, who's still stuck in the elevator, he tries out some of his failed MacGyver tricks
and subsequently gives up for good before he's arrested for a double homicide via questionable, unsound police
work. Is that how the Dreyfus case was solved, eh?
At one point, the superseded security guard unlocked the door, entered the building, dropped his key set on the
floor at the office, fumbled around with it before choosing a key to unlock (and lock again?) the elevator, and
left the building. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to think of besides an ignis fatuus?
All this time, the poor, stupid rich girl must play the "woe is me" act during the whole night and the following
day with many lame introspective thoughts. She was eventually arrested as an accomplice to murder. The ending,
which showed me pictures of her and the fake military guy, prompted me to ask a significant question, "Who the
hell took the photos?"
All in all, Ascenseur pour l'échafaud is laughable.
The Asphalt Jungle (1950)
Rate:
9
Viewed:
6/07, 7/11
6/07:
The Asphalt Jungle is a towering giant among films noirs.
Sterling Hayden is mesmerizing as the tough guy Dix Handley, and Sam Jaffe steals the show as the down-to-earth grandfatherly
Doc Erwin Riedenschneider. Rounding out the powerhouse cast are Louis Calhern, Jean Hagen, James Whitmore, John McIntire,
Marc Lawrence, Barry Kelly, Anthony Caruso, Brad Dexter, and Marilyn Monroe who makes her screen debut. They portray some of the
most unsavory, tough-looking characters ever shown on screen.
I love how John Huston creates an aura of hardness around the characters, yet they come across to me as ordinary human beings
with real-life problems and simple vices. Consequently, I can't help but like them all. Louis Calhern's quote "After all, crime
is only a left-handed form of human endeavor" is meant to say that crime provides an outlet for some people.
All in all, oft-copied but never equalled, The Asphalt Jungle is the king of heist pictures.
7/11:
I'm dropping my rating of The Asphalt Jungle from '10' to '9'.
Don't get me wrong. It's still a giant among films noirs. Now, I think of the acting to be on the weak side as
evidenced through Sterling Hayden and Marilyn Monroe. Annoying is when Dix kept talking about the Kentucky cornfields.
I mean, if he got there for real, it still isn't going to change a damn thing!
Make no mistake: it's a tough, gritty picture with a fantastic underworld feel. The performances are brilliant and spot-on.
That's why I love to revisit the movie from time to time. The best part is the plan sounds good in theory but never matches reality.
All in all, it's a jungle out there in The Asphalt Jungle.
The Assassination Bureau (1969)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
12/19
12/19:
Based on an unfinished novel by Jack London before he died, The Assassination Bureau is a dreadful, outdated "romp"
that's awful in everything: plot, dialogue, characters, interior sets, rear projection, and special effects.
Oliver Reed tries to make a go of it by salvaging whatever there's left of the film but pretty much fails. It's not his fault
because the mess is literally overwhelming. Forget Diana Rigg, Telly Savalas, Curd Jürgens, and Philippe Noiret. They're all
"who cares?", having wasted my time for two hours.
There were rumors that Oliver Reed was going to be tabbed the next James Bond after Sean Connery's departure, but I honestly can't
see him in the role. Plus, there's his noticeable facial scar, and he wasn't in the same class as Cary Grant.
All in all, The Assassination Bureau is damn bad.
Assassins (1995)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/04, 4/06, 4/25
4/06:
Assassins would've been a 100% thrilling action-adventure picture if Julianne Moore hadn't gotten
in the way.
I've enjoyed the cat-and-mouse game between Antonio Banderas and Sylvester Stallone, and it's the best part.
Actually, strike that...the best part is Antonio Banderas. He's exciting and fun, giving the movie a pulse.
Sylvester Stallone, playing Robert Rath, is brilliant in countering Antonio Banderas' antics. They're like light
and kerosene and just flame together. I love the story and the use of flashbacks to settle a grudge.
Sadly, it's ruined by every scene that Julianne Moore appears in. I kept yelling at her to get the hell out of
the way. Take a gander at the movie poster for what I mean. That's why she's one of the most useless actresses
today.
All in all, I'm looking forward to the director's cut of Assassins that's completely free of Julianne Moore.
4/25:
Thanks to Sylvester Stallone and Antonio Banderas, Assassins is a lot of fun to watch.
I complained in my review of John Wick that it had no personality whatsoever.
That's why I thought of Assassins which oozes it aplenty. The story is clever that's made better by the
flashback of Robert Rath's assassination of Nicolai which caused him deep regret. Whoever thought of Antonio
Banderas for Miguel Bain is a genius. The actor took Assassins to another level. I wish there were more
movies like it and Desperado because this is him at his best.
All in all, there should be a director's cut of Assassins that's completely free of Julianne Moore.
Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
2/14
2/14:
I'm a big fan of John Carpenter, and the alpha and omega of his prime is from 1976 to 1988 when he churned out four
unforgettable classic pictures.
There's something about each: a deliberate buildup of tension, the slow movement of players as they get to
their places, and the subsequent roller coaster ride. In short, Assault on Precinct 13 is the textbook of John
Carpenter's formula.
Interestingly, there's a great deal of similarities between this and
Night of the Living Dead.
If that's the case, then John Carpenter was paying homage to George Romero by using nihilists in the place of zombies.
Three stars steal the show: Austin Stoker in a Duane Jones way, Darwin Joston, and Laurie Zimmer. They work together
well, and there's a certain pronounced, but not acted on, sexual tension between Joston and Zimmer. The plot feels realistic,
and it's what makes John Carpenter films exciting. One trade-off is the slow pace, but it only occurs during the first half.
All in all, Assault on Precinct 13 is the beginning of John Carpenter's greatness.
At Close Range (1986)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
5/15
5/15:
Prior to seeing At Close Range, I had two questions:
1. Will Christopher Walken give the kind of performance I want out of him?
2. Will Sean Penn cry?
The answer has been yes on both counts. Sean Penn almost held out all the way to the end but managed to wimp out with one
minute remaining. It's the same typical bullshit acting from him. Damn, he looks so jacked up that he's the perfect
poster boy of the anabolic-androgenic steroid movement.
One big negative is it's a slow-moving picture. Going from a subplot to another takes a while. At times, I questioned if
it would go anywhere after all. The acting is fair, but it's Christopher Walken who steals the show. There's a quiet, unassuming
menace about his character, and he's never bombastic. It's interesting how Christopher Walken is effective,
especially the way he walks, talks, moves, and takes care of business. I even love his appearance although he looks paunchy
while sporting an eyeliner.
My favorite scene is Christopher Walken's character putting his bastard son Tommy out of his misery, which is haunting
to watch, thanks to Chris Penn emoting on cue. Although the names are changed and most of the story has been Hollywoodized,
the film is based on a true case of two gangs of relatives that operated in the southeastern part of Pennsylvania during
the 60's and 70's which saw them sentenced to life in prison.
All in all, notwithstanding the slow pace, At Close Range can be safely added to Christopher Walken's greatest hits.
At First Sight (1999)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
10/21
10/21:
Had At First Sight been filmed during the 50's, it would be a staged play.
Thanks to Val Kilmer and Mira Sorvino, it never happens for a minute. Their realistic acting is the best thing
going. Playing characters who are based on real-life people, they get a lot of things right about feelings and
approaches, leaving me duly impressed. Along the way, there's an unresolved father-son scene which is on the mark.
A top-notch actor, Val Kilmer certainly understands the requirements and plays his role to perfection. Mira Sorvino is a
natural. They make the movie their own way which is sometimes sensual. The secondary cast is
interesting as it includes Kelly McGillis, Bruce Davison, Steven Weber, and Nathan Lane.
Watching the film can be awkward at times, and a step feels missing here and there after the couple is together in New York
City. However, things move along while Virgil presents an example of somebody who doesn't belong and Amy is the
idealistic type who doesn't understand what disability acceptance means. Everything I've seen has been correctly captured.
All in all, At First Sight is a well-made movie with exemplary acting from Val Kilmer and Mira Sorvino.
Atlantic City (1980)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
3/14
3/14:
What's surprising about Atlantic City is the city doesn't look any different after thirty-four years.
Even the people look authentic. Those who had never been to Atlantic City will be fooled by the glamorous advertising and
the famous name. In reality, the gambling resort has been dead for decades; instead, it hoards wealth from the poor and
senior citizens who are dependent on welfare checks.
Whoever walks inside the casinos will instantly find himself a step back into the past which is nothing but mold. Pathetic
sights can be had all over the place like a septuagenarian holding on to his oxygen mask while sitting on the stool, inserting
a quarter after quarter into the slot machine, and hoping to hit the jackpot. If he does win, then what? What does it mean?
Anyway, that's my lasting memory of Atlantic City. Louis Malle's eponymous film perfectly captures how pathetic the town is.
Burt Lancaster turns in a fine performance. He epitomizes class like no one does. When I think of the movie, I think of his
sorry, sappy, and sentimental character. Ah, Susan Sarandon...her notion of acting is taking off her clothes. How many films
has she done that for? It's why I can't take her seriously. An irony is the casting of Wallace Shawn as the waiter who'll
star in the next awful Louis Malle picture called *shudder* My Dinner with Andre.
All in all, Atlantic City is a great nostalgic Burt Lancaster flick.
Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
9/17
9/17:
Yep, this is the mother lode.
Shot in eight days for $89,000, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman is a well-known cult flick that I hadn't seen it until now.
Ah, it's okay, but I wish it was better.
I was getting into the show during the first half-hour. The story wasn't bad, and I felt sympathy for Nancy. By the time she
grew to be a 50-foot woman, the filmmakers lost me for good as it seemed like they suddenly forgot character development.
Compounding the problem is the failure of integrating the larger-than-life human figure into the rest of the setting without
coming off as cheapo. It's been a major issue throughout the film, dampening any potential enjoyment. That's why I
say...forget about the poster because the movie is nothing like that.
By the way, Allison Hayes lived for forty-six years before dying of lead poisoning. For a long time, she was taking calcium
supplements until finding out through research and toxicology tests that they contained lead which led her to start a crusade
to have them banned.
Yvette Vickers, who plays the mistress, passed away in 2010 at the age of 82, but her body was mummified and not discovered
until a year later when a neighbor came over to her house. The rumor is Vickers was a paranoid, delusional lady who was
convinced of having stalkers which caused her to be a total recluse.
All in all, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman is a rubbish schlock picture.
Attack on the Iron Coast (1968)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
If you're hoping to discover Where Eagles Dare in
Attack on the Iron Coast, forget it.
Being a lot closer to Submarine X-1 in terms of structure, the movie is
too boring. At first, I had it rated '5.' For a while, I kept waiting for anything to happen before downgrading
my rating to '4.' And then...more waiting, forcing me to settle for '3.' By the time there's action, it's so
banal that I was left with "that's it?" Obviously, the wires running from the clock to the bombs should have
been insulated by a steel pipe to prevent any problems.
The failure of the film isn't Lloyd Bridges' fault, but he's never been the leading man type. I kept
thinking of Hot Shots! whenever he showed his face. Most of the trouble
lies with director Paul Wendkos for not coming up with anything exciting to get the momentum going.
In the meantime, Andrew Keir is the only plus of the show by giving a strong performance.
Operation Mad Dog did happen in real life on March 28, 1942, only that it was called St. Nazaire Raid.
The goal was to take out the dry docks in St. Nazaire of German-occupied France since it's the only one
on the Atlantic side capable of handling the German battleship Tirpitz. The dry docks didn't return to
service until 1948, and the Tirpitz was forced to retreat to Norway, having been sunk on November 12,
1944. A mix of approximately 600 men from the Royal Navy and British commandos fought against 5,000 Germans.
Only 37% returned to England immediately afterwards. Instead of five junk ships, three destroyers
and sixteen small boats were used with the support of five RAF squadrons.
All in all, although based on a true story, Attack on the Iron Coast provides very little entertainment
value.
Audrey Rose (1977)
Rate:
6
Viewed:
10/18
10/18:
Riding on the coattails of The Exorcist's success, Audrey Rose
is a decent film that explores the supernatural side of reincarnation in spite of me not believing any of it.
Along with his repeated yelling of Audrey Rose's name, Anthony Hopkins' pompous acting is one of the two
problems. John Beck's angry character is the other. The way Anthony Hopkins behaved is rarely seen in people.
Therefore, he should've learned how to tone it down, but it's been his problem for years.
Fortunately, the strong plot saves the film while Marsha Mason's numerous crying bits somewhat help. A
great-looking guy in any period of time, John Beck plays a character by the name of Bill Templeton who should've
had a brain given that he's a well-to-do advertising executive in New York City. He's mad all the time which
makes it boring. Obviously, he's the cause of his daughter's death and his family breaking up.
It would help if Susan Swift transformed herself into an interesting character like how Linda Blair did for
The Exorcist, but it never happened. By the way, if you observe the girl
on the book cover as seen in the movie poster, it's actually Brooke Shields.
All in all, Audrey Rose is almost a rip-off of The Exorcist.
Ausreisser (2004)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
6/07
6/07:
Ausreisser, which means "runaway" in German, features a child who's so annoying that I wish he were dead.
It's like watching Problem Child all over again. What he needs is an atomic wedgie. Oh, you want me to shed a
tear? I rather spit on the boy.
If the man is trying to get a job, then why is the kid getting in his way? How does he know the guy is nice? He might
be an axe murderer, a sex pervert, or a mentally ill criminal.
All in all, Ausreisser makes me want to gag.
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
8/18
6/18:
This is thankfully the last of it.
I don't know why I bothered watching the entire trilogy of
Austin Powers films. Perhaps it's just for review purpose:
digest something unpleasantable, recall the experience, and be done with it once and for all.
Like the last two, I couldn't watch the film for more than thirty minutes a day. I felt relieved when it was over, having
endured an endless litany of gross penis, sex, toilet, and body humor.
Seeing the title first, I immediately knew what the reference would be given Mike Myers' fucked-up mind. What a shock it is
to see Steven Spielberg, Michael Caine, Danny DeVito, Tom Cruise, Kevin Spacey, and John Travolta in this unfathomable piece
of shit. Okay...maybe not the last three, but I expected more from them.
I mentioned in my review of the previous sequel that it set the little people community back by decades and that there was a
history of dwarf-tossing. Well, Mike Myers did it again. I wonder how Verne Troyer, who committed suicide in April 2018, lived
with himself after making a living by perpetuating the stereotype of little people as mutant-looking hypersexual objects.
Meanwhile, it's interesting to see Austin Powers making a mountain out of Fred Savage's mole when he should be
looking at himself, especially his fugly teeth. Austin Powers claims to be all for the people regardless of their
differences, yet in the film, he mocks anyone who doesn't fit the mold and only prefers pretty people. Seeing how painfully
white the last two films had been, I won't be surprised to learn Mike Myers was ordered to increase the diversity of
the cast, hence the inclusion of the failed actress Beyoncé Knowles who looks utterly stupid in her two-piece outfits.
All in all, Mike Myers is the worst, and I'm glad his career died for good.
Austin Powers:
International Man of Mystery (1997)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
2/03, 7/18
7/18:
Why must there be another James Bond spoof in Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery during the 90's?
Had the course already been run through from the 60's to the 70's? Austin Powers is a walking poster of sex harassment.
It's neither cute nor funny. He's disgusting, repulsive, and creepy with one of the worst-looking set of teeth that'll
put Steve Buscemi to shame. What's with him showing off his hideous chest hair and touching his nipples constantly ? It's gross.
If Austin Powers is supposed to come intact from the 60's, then why does he speak like it's the 90's? Every time he uses
the word "shag" or some variation of it, his desperate attempt at comedy takes a turn for the worse. There's no way
Vanessa Kensington, who's a "graduate" from Oxford University, would've fallen for him. Somehow, I have a feeling that she
may be Austin Powers and her mother's love child. Anyway, what a terrible actress Elizabeth Hurley is.
If there's anything positive to say, it's Mike Myers' performance as Dr. Evil. He's a fun character, and I like how he conducts
himself. His son, played by Seth Green, is good and makes keen observations about the stupid moments that have plagued James Bond
films since forever. I like Mindy Sterling, too, as Frau Farbissina, especially when she laughed after hearing the words
"lucky charms."
All in all, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery, an all-white picture, wasn't funny back then and is much worse
now.
Austin Powers:
The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Rate:
2
Viewed:
4/03, 7/18
7/18:
If I thought Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery was gross, the sequel is even more so.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Gagged Me presents an endless series of penis, fart, and body jokes. Nothing has been
humorous, and the movie seems to be meant for man-children with the behavior of a five-year-old kid.
Three ugliest characters in the history of motion pictures appear: Austin Powers, Mini-Me, and *drum roll* Fat Bastard.
Putting up with Mike Myers' tobacco-stained teeth has been too much for me to bear, but his decision to add
the other two into the mix is now going overboard.
How Mini-Me is treated and caricatured sets the little people community back by decades. Because of this film, there are
people associating them with Mini-Me and treating them as portable objects by picking up and throwing them around.
That being said, I hope Verne Troyer is proud of himself.
A big concept is time travel à la Back to the Future. I only have one question: why
not go back to when Dr. Evil was in the womb and simply abort him? Speaking of 1969, Willie Nelson, Elvis Costello, and Burt
Bacharach were old-looking during the 60's? If Austin Powers has lost his mojo, shouldn't he be tired and thus in dire need
of constant naps?
All in all, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Killed Me is god-awful.
Author! Author! (1982)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
2/25
2/25:
Ripped apart by critics for poor reasons back then, Author! Author! is a strange movie that's actually
catchy and fun to watch.
Instead of a Kramer vs. Kramer clone, it's about a father with five kids
with some of them not being his. Now, that's an extremely unusual vehicle for Al Pacino because I've never seen him
get involved with child actors. No matter what, he is a natural who's offered the chance to show off his spontaneity
since The Panic in Needle Park.
I had a hard time figuring out who Ivan Travalian's biological children were, and it turned out to be just Igor.
The rest were from either Gloria's or other ex-wives' previous marriages. What makes this a winner is, no matter the
true nature of their relationship is to Ivan, they all want him as their father. It's easy to see he's right for
them as well. I was also thinking about how he could afford to raise them all, but that's the point of the
play he's working on, hence the cliffhanger ending.
The script is a bit awkward to follow with the timeline often jumping ahead. There were moments I thought
Ivan was suffering from some brain injury because of how he messed up the names of several people, but nothing came
of it. Maybe it's just stress. The movie is better during the second half, and it's easy to see the chemistry Al
Pacino has with the five kids, making me want to watch it again later. His character tried his best to get
Gloria back, but she's so selfish that it's best to forget about her.
All in all, director Arthur Hiller nailed it perfectly about Author! Author! that "love is what makes
a family strong, not necessarily who's the natural parent."
Avalanche Express (1979)
Rate:
5
Viewed:
2/21
2/21:
How is this for entertainment: a Cold War espionage thriller starring Lee Marvin, Robert Shaw, and...Joe Namath?!?
Avalanche Express is the name of the game. However, it's not a good movie with more negatives than
positives. The cast is fine and I like the European scenery, but the editing sucks. Showing an avalanche once or
twice is sufficient, but more than ten times? Ditto for the painfully obvious miniature toy train.
The heavily-dubbed Robert Shaw has a powerful presence but is hardly seen much because he was sick during the
filming before dying of a heart attack afterwards. So did director Mark Robson from the same cause of death.
Lee Marvin is at his silver-haired best, but that's all he can muster. Joe Namath is, well, Joe Namath. Maximilian
Schell is wasted, but Linda Evans has a few moments of movie greatness.
Initially, the storyline is confusing to follow which will be clarified in time. When the action gets going, the
film is watchable. But it's boring to watch people taking their places for a while. Most of that should be cut out
to be more like Where Eagles Dare.
All in all, Avalanche Express can be exciting here and there but is mostly done in by the ordinary
filmmaking style.
The Avengers (1998)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
1/25
1/25:
I'm curious about one thing: if The Avengers was based on a British TV show that ran during
the 60's, what made Hollywood think that it would appeal to anyone in 1998?
No matter what, the following axiom will always be true: it's impossible to convert a bad script to a good movie.
While watching The Avengers, I had no idea what was going on, and nothing made sense. The repartees
may have seemed clever in print, but they don't work on screen.
Initially picking up the film for Ralph Fiennes, I feel he did a decent job, but what a comedown it's
been for him since appearing in Schindler's List,
Quiz Show, and The English Patient.
Uma Thurman may possess the look, but she isn't British and has no chemistry with Ralph Fiennes. Given her
appearance, The Avengers is like watching Batman & Robin all
over again. I'm not sure why the filmmakers thought Sean Connery would be an ideal choice as the bad guy
after playing James Bond so many times.
The cinematography is clean and filled with catchy objects. What's weird is the sight of empty streets in London.
I know it's a pretty busy city for the most part. In fact, the cast has barely enough people. On
the other hand, the costumes are nice. Both aspects save the movie from being a total stinker.
All in all, to rationalize the outcome of The Avengers, Ralph Fiennes wisely said, "I think
it's a badge of honor to have a real flop on your résumé."
Avenging Angel (1985)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
5/20
5/20:
Why produce a sucky sequel despite the original having made millions of dollars?
Avenging Angel gets worse by the minute, and a quarter into it, I was ready to throw in the towel. It's because
I didn't want to see Solly's ridiculous face anymore. Rory Calhoun looks like he just had a lobotomy. Why did Ossie Davis
sign up for this?
If I thought Donna Wilkes wore too much makeup and was too old in the original, Betsy Russell is a gigantic improvement
and a natural beauty. She could've appeared in Miami Vice for all I know. The reality is Donna Wilkes
didn't reprise her role because she wanted more money. Ha! Betsy Russell proved she was replaceable.
There are lots of firepower thrown around, but everybody on the good side is never hit any time,
no matter how close they are. Angel can be seen running many times in high heels, even from fast-moving cars.
What an amazing talent she is. In the meantime, let me ask you this: does Johnny Glitter wake up in the morning every day and
start applying rainbows and shit on his face? I'm only asking this because it seems like lot of work.
If the name Tim Rossovich seems familiar, it's because his brother is Rick of Top Gun fame. He's
the bodyguard with a mustache and blue eyes. Once upon a time, Tim Rossovich was a former NFL linebacker for nine seasons who had
a reputation for being really, really crazy such as swallowing lit cigarettes, drinking motor oil, eating glass, setting himself
on fire, and driving a car off the pier. He once dove forty feet into a shallow river, damaging his legs, and then a few days
later, plunged into a contaminated pond which infected his leg wounds so badly that caused him to slip into a coma for four days.
Unsurprisingly, Tim Rossovich passed away a couple of years ago at age 72.
All in all, I hope not to see Solly again in the next sequel.
The Aviator (1985)
Rate:
7
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
It'll be easy to mistake The Aviator for a biopic about Howard Hughes, but the story is completely
different.
Another is the director isn't George Miller of Mad Max fame; it's just a guy
who happens to have the same name. Therefore, expectations have been lowered, causing people to miss out on a
nice period picture starring Christopher Reeve, Rosanna Arquette, and Jack Warden that's similar to
The Purple Plain and Alive as far
as surviving a plane crash is concerned. Six wolves are used to provide an additional element of battling nature.
I watched The Bostonians recently and thought Christopher Reeve was
being utilized the wrong way. Hence, he has a nice comeback here that's more heroic without stiffening up. Prior
to the filming, Christopher Reeve was already a licensed aviator with over 2,000 hours
of flying experience, so this was a natural project for him. In one scene, it's easy to tell he
actually took off on a plane without any cuts. The rest, they filmed him in air from a helicopter.
Rosanna Arquette is a good actress and I like her, but here, she plays a total bitch. It's difficult to put up
with her bratty attitude for a long while. If there's a major reason why people hate the movie, this is it. At
least, Christopher Reeve balances her out by giving a credible performance along with the nice scenery which was
shot on location in Croatia and Slovenia. Jack Warden steals one scene when he goes into a monologue that
includes his leg being made out of Philippine mahogany.
All in all, fans of Christopher Reeve will like The Aviator, but Rosanna Arquette...oh, boy.
The Aviator (2004)
Rate:
3
Viewed:
7/25
7/25:
Just what I thought: Martin Scorsese somewhat can't do it without Robert De Niro.
Six out of his eight best films involve the actor. The other two?
The Color of Money and After Hours.
After Casino, the director keeps getting worse and is nothing like how he used
to be. The evidences are Bringing Out the Dead,
The Aviator, and The Departed.
The problem is they are too long, not well-edited, and rambling with totally mediocre acting. I couldn't watch
The Aviator without taking a lot of breaks. Every ten minutes feels three times as long. Leonardo
DiCaprio plays Howard Hughes? He looks like a baby-faced highschooler who's desperate in being taken
seriously as an adult.
Why a part of Howard Hughes' life that takes place from 1927 to 1947? He was born in 1905 and died in 1976.
Nobody cares about his achievements in aviation, but the final quarter of his life is extremely fascinating
as recounted in Howard Hughes: The Hidden Years by James Phelan. Otherwise, he's just another dead
billionaire.
The H-4 Hercules flew? Yeah, right. That monstrous thing was a colossal waste of money. It barely got off the
sea, having been in air for only one mile, and was never flown again. Cate Blanchett, Gwen Stefani, and Kate
Beckinsale as Katharine Hepburn (who didn't have a relationship with Spencer Tracy until after 1941, and they
were actually gay and may have used each other as a beard), Jean Harlow, and Ava Gardner, respectively? Ha!
They should retire from acting for good. How about Howard Hughes' marriage to Ella Botts Rice that's not shown
in the film?
If I were Martin Scorsese, I would stick with either two aspects: Howard Hughes' forays in the
movie business or the last twenty years of his life. Instead, what I saw is largely unfocused and fictional
(they used Charles Higham's book for this? That's funny. He's been a longtime discredited author because of
numerous fabrications. Why not use Howard: The Amazing Mr. Hughes by Noah Dietrich?). Sure,
Hell's Angels is covered at the beginning which omits the
plane crash that fractured Howard Hughes' skull, but what about Scarface
or how he ran RKO into the ground but came out ahead at the end?
The cinematography looks either fake, garish, or terrible. I can't believe it was handled by Robert Richardson
which won him his second of three Oscars. This is the same guy who did almost all of Oliver Stone's movies,
going back to Salvador. Shame on Thelma Schoonmaker as well because some of
the scenes are too fast that I had to rewind to catch what's going on. She even won an Oscar for it which is
to show you what a gigantic joke the Academy has become.
All in all, Martin Scorsese should've watched Citizen Kane many
times to understand how a biopic should be done before setting out to make The Aviator, and while at
it, he needs to stop using Leonardo DiCaprio because he's no Robert De Niro.
Awakenings (1990)
Rate:
8
Viewed:
5/04, 5/09
5/09:
The last time I saw Awakenings, I was impressed and thought the acting was the best part.
Now, it's still a good movie that's far from perfection. I like the story as presented, and there's a great deal of
inspiration. It can be disappointing due to lack of information about encephalitis lethargica because I want to know more
about the background of the disease, the patients, the obstacles facing them, and the research involved.
Robert De Niro gives a superb performance, yet the others, whose characters are in the same state of condition, have been on
par with him. Robin Williams shows he has the budding acting chops for drama pictures which will be fully realized in
Good Will Hunting, netting him an Oscar win.
All in all, Awakenings is a terrific, can't-miss film that can do better by explaining more.