21 Jump Street
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Season One (1987)
Rate:
4 out of 5
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
The high school version of Miami Vice, I saw 21 Jump Street back then and knew Johnny Depp
would be a major movie star because he was the total package.
Eventually, he became bigger than the show and tried everything to get out of it as soon as possible.
But it's a good thing he didn't because his acting is often strong here and better than a lot of
films he did later. Ironically, Johnny Depp was a high school dropout in real life.
While watching the episodes of Season One, I have to say Holly Robinson gives Johnny Depp the strongest
competition because she's pretty good. The rest of the cast passes muster. In a way, the tone begins to change
after Frederic Forrest is replaced with Steven Williams of which I don't believe is the reason why; there must be
something else that caused it.
Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:
Jump Street Chapel: When Johnny Depp went running after Reginald T. Dorsey, who plays Tyrell Thompson,
it's a scene straight out of The French Connection.
Plus, who knew his soon-to-be-erstwhile partner would be played by Jerry Seinfeld's father?
America, What a Town: Impressive writing...very high quality. It's a fine performance by
Traci Lind as the Polish girl, having a water foundation scene that's an homage to
La dolce vita.
Oddly, the lawyer who picks her up at the theatre is a dead ringer for Ted Bundy.
Billy Jacoby is well known from Just One of the Guys and will do
another TV show called Parker Lewis Can't Lose.
Don't Pet the Teacher: I bet when Miss Chadwick found out Hanson's true identity she went, "Yessssss...."
Leah Ayres may be old-looking, but she and Johnny Depp are six years apart. I knew it was the janitor who did it.
Geoffrey Blake has done a nice job.
My Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades: An anti-drug message about cocaine at the end? Ironically,
Johnny Depp has done plenty of snorting in his life. Meanwhile, two familiar faces emerge: Josh Brolin and
Mitchell Anderson. The former would go on to play the same type of role in
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. The latter was a
regular on Doogie Howser, M.D.
The Worst Night of Your Life: It's the final episode for Frederic Forrest who probably left because
he's a movie, not TV, actor. Come on, he was in Apocalypse Now.
This is a big step down for him.
Gotta Finish the Riff: Holly Robinson is actually fluent in French, having graduated
from Sarah Lawrence College with a degree in it and also psychology. Blair Underwood makes an appearance and
will soon be in L.A. Law.
Blindsided: Sherilyn Fenn of Two Moon Junction fame
stars in one of the better episodes of the season.
Low and Away: This is the worst of the season. The plot made no sense. I'll hate to be the
baseball coach, thinking he had a championship team only to find out two were cops and one was the
son of a Mafia witness.
16 Blown to 35: Wow...David Paymer plays a pornographer. In the meantime, Steven Williams is
starting to get into the groove and looks better suited for the role than Frederic Forrest.
Mean Streets and Pastel Houses: What a weak finale with Brandon Walsh as part of a punk gang. In the car,
Penhall told Hanson, "You can make a freaking documentary," when it came to witnessing the music scene. Yeah...and
it's called The Decline of Western Civilization.
At this point, it's not looking good when Dustin Nguyen is barely shown most of the season.
I don't care if he's Vietnamese (not Japanese as the show would have everybody believe). They need
to start expanding his screen time.
Season Two (1987-88)
Rate:
4 out of 5
Viewed:
4/25
4/25:
Despite the season being watchable for the most part, it has several issues.
21 Jump Street keeps getting away from the theme of crime, causing the second half to be boring. Why do
I have to know about Doug's problems with his girlfriend Dorothy? Ditto for many life stories that get in the way.
Hopefully, they'll cease in order for the show to be back on track during Season 3 with Richard Grieco finally
appearing for the first time.
Dustin Nguyen is barely used. Sure, there's the lame excuse to make "Christmas in Saigon," but why can't his
character be given the same treatment as Doug Penhall? He can be Hanson's partner from time to time. On the
other hand, I'm becoming convinced that all four (Hanson, Penhall, Hoffs, and Ioki) aren't legit
cops and that they shouldn't be on the job anymore. There have been times of entrapment or overlooking the law
to consider people's feelings. Just arrest the criminals and be done with it.
Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:
In the Custody of a Clown: The series' pilot episode starred Jerry Seinfeld's father as Hanson's
partner, and now, he plays somebody else who'll be busted by Hanson? Stupid. In other words, they
should've sought a different actor for the part. Anyway, it's nice to see Joshua Miller, and I remember
him from River's Edge. Ray Walston steals the show as usual.
What a strange hairdo for Peter DeLuise. Was he trying to mimic Mel Gibson's look from
Lethal Weapon? I agree with Fuller when he wasn't pleased with Hanson
and Penhall for destroying evidence just because it felt right. By the way, there's one scene that looks straight
out of The Boy Who Could Fly, especially when the girl fell
from the bridge after trying to pick off a white rose.
Besieged: This is the best episode so far in series history with a big twist, thanks to the
outstanding performances by Peter DeLuise, Bruce A. Young, Renée Jones, Johnny Depp, and Josh Richman. The
last two's characters really hate each other, and I hope Ronnie Siebok will come back again. Their rivalry isn't
over by any means. As for Adabo, it's too bad; he was simply caught up in his work on the drug-infested streets.
Two for the Road: Fuller is a fucking hypocrite. Now, I've lost respect for him. His arguments suck.
He's a drunk driver, period. Jason Priestley appears for the second time but as a different character.
Ironically, he has been busted for drunk driving, too, in real life. Oh, look...it's Pauly Shore who makes his
first appearance ever in anything. He seems kind of normal, but the annoying "Pauly Shore" vibe is still there.
After School Special: Obviously, this episode was inspired by
Class of 1984. That's Patrick Cronin who played Sid Farkus in
Seinfeld.
Higher Education: It's an all-time stupid episode. If I were Ioki, I would contact a lawyer and
threaten a lawsuit if the girl kept insisting the baby was his, thus jeopardizing his police career. There's no
point in visiting her house to set the record straight. I don't know if DNA testing was yet possible to establish
paternity. Anyway, everybody doesn't realize the teacher committed statutory rape, more
specifically engaged himself in an "improper relationship between educator and student." He even admitted to
mere sex with the girl; that should put him away in prison. The confession that Ioki extracted from the
teacher under torture? It won't hold up; at least ten students witnessed it in the locker room, and it's illegal,
enough to fire Ioki this time. By the way, why does Fuller need to go on a TV show and talk about undercover
cops in schools? That's so fucking pointless on top of blowing his future cover by showing his face.
You Oughta Be in Prison: Good episode. While waiting for Ronnie Siebok to come back, I didn't
expect a rivalry between Hanson and Tyrell Thompson of "Jump Street Chapel." Ironically, Johnny Depp would adopt
the same attitude the movie star character, played by Lochlyn Munro, sported throughout. Meanwhile,
Candyman's Tony Todd makes an appearance.
Christmas in Saigon: I knew that Ioki wasn't a Japanese the entire time. Oddly, since Fuller served a tour
or two during the Vietnam War, he still couldn't tell Ioki was a Vietnamese? Everything as told in the episode
is what happened to Dustin Nguyen (whose actual name is Nguyen Xuan Tri which was used for credit
as the technical advisor) except his parents survived. Who knew Johnny Depp would star in a film with Marlon
Brando called Don Juan DeMarco after doing an impersonation of him?
Chapel of Love: It's unusual episode that finally explains the beginning of the show. Terrific stories all
around.
Orpheus 3.3: The last two episodes have been bad with high amount of stupidity. Both stunts should've
gotten Hanson fired from his job. By the way, the character of Kenny Weckerle can be traced to "Jump Street
Chapel" just like Tyrell Thompson. Regardless, Johnny Depp delivers some of his best acting here.
Champagne High: About the newspaper word problem, it's work-related, so the proper setup of the
equation is 33/6 + 22/8 = 248/x, and then solve for x which will yield 31 minutes by rounding up. In the other
words, Lane answered it correctly.
Brother Hanson & the Miracle of Renner's Pond: It's a nice one that's about evolution versus creationism
in school, thanks to the strong performances by David Greenlee and Dann Florek. Obviously, the latter looks the
part to be the boss of detectives in Law & Order.
Best Years of Your Life: Brad Pitt accomplishes the impossible: be a bigger star than Johnny Depp on
21 Jump Street. Unfortunately, he does nothing interesting and never gets to be a criminal. This is
the only time ever they appeared together, so enjoy, especially Brad Pitt's mullet.
Season Three (1988-89)
Rate:
4 out of 5
Viewed:
5/25
5/25:
Season Three has a lot of ups and downs.
I don't mind the addition of Richard Grieco although he's either underutilized or trying too hard to project a
bad boy image. To his credit, he came alive in two episodes: "Nemesis" and "Next Victim." In the meantime, who
care about the personal relationships, stories about the past, and topics of the week such as AIDS, abortion, and
steroids? Just focus on street crime like it's supposed to be as stated during Season One.
Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:
Fun with Animals: Talk about getting a big shot of adrenaline when Richard Grieco came aboard to
battle Johnny Depp. Overall, it's one of the best episodes in series history.
The Currency We Trade In: I was going to say, "It's time for Penhall to shave, stop dressing like a hobo,
and return to the 21 Jump Street program." And...he did it at the end. While at that, he should lose some
weight. So, what happened? Where did it go wrong? It's simple: Penhall is too young and inexperienced for the
major leagues. He should've stopped when Jeff Logan asked for a lawyer during the interrogation. I never thought
he had a case from the get-go due to insufficient evidence. Some of the blame can be placed on the lawyer
whore with glasses that Hanson was seeing.
Whose Choice Is It Anyway?: It's a terrible episode that's also feminist. Going undercover to deal with
pregnant teenagers who might be thinking about abortion is a big no-no. Let it happen naturally from within. In
light of what happened, Mark and Rebecca have enough to file a lawsuit against the police department based on
how they lost their baby.
Hell Week: What a great episode, being among those that go the furthest in terms of how fraternities
operate. It's amusing to see Johnny Depp drinking one egg after another and getting spanked in the butt with a
paddle. Also, you've got to love Richard Grieco laying down his guido philosophy of life although he could've
also mentioned, "You don't want to be like me thirty years from now with a ruined face from plastic surgeries,
snorting too much cocaine, and drinking too much."
The Dragon and the Angel: Finally, Ioki is starting to be more and more involved, and that's good news.
This should've happened two season ago. What took so long? Plus, I knew the time had to come for Ioki to
go undercover to infiltrate some Asian gang. That'll be the day for Johnny Depp: getting shot in the ass. By
the way, Danny Kamekona is recognizable from The Karate Kid Part II
and Hawaii Five-O.
Swallowed Alive: Uh...Bad Boys, anyone? By the way, why did
Booker and Ioki disappear so quickly?
What About Love?: Hooray! This is the final appearance ever for Gina Nemo as Dorothy. She's the worst
character in series history. Up next should be Sal Jenco as Blowfish. Unfortunately, it won't happen
until after episode 2 of Season 5. On the other hand, I'm beginning to hate Hoffs. I keep looking at her
hair and am 100% convinced she was wearing a wig during Season Two.
The Dreaded Return of Russell Buckins: When Penhall and Hanson were talking about which military branch
they would join, Johnny Depp could've said, "Yeah...I was in Platoon, dude."
Nemesis: Finally, Richard Grieco has one of his own, and it's excellent. The show could've used more of
that because many episodes lately had been bad by not focusing on street crime. If Richard Grieco keeps doing the
same, he'll finally steal the limelight from Johnny Depp. By the way, it's a great job by Krista Errickson as
Christine.
Fathers and Sons: Ah, Fuller wimped out. He should've told the city councilman, "Ah, I don't think
so...and go fuck yourself!" I knew the lawyer whore with glasses sold Hanson out by blabbing to somebody in her
office. What did he see her from the beginning anyway? She had been unprofessional with no ethics from day one.
Happily, it's Yvette Nipar's final episode. Two words: hated her.
High High: *sigh* The sight of these absolutely untalented kids...it's Fame
all over again. They simply wasted four years of valuable education by not practicing reading, writing, and
math and would have to wait tables for the rest of their lives. By the way, Mario Van Peebles stars and
directs this episode.
Blinded by the Thousand Points of Light: I knew it...Holly Robinson was wearing a wig during Season Two,
and here she does it again. What a joke. It's time to get rid of her. In the meantime, everybody should stop
crying for Aaron. Who cares about him? Regardless, Bridget Fonda makes it clear that she's destined to be an
A-list actress.
Next Victim: It's Richard Grieco's best episode in series history that's far better than
Talk Radio. By the way, the DVD has this one in the wrong order as it's
supposed to come before the two-part season finale.
Lōc'd Out (Partners): When it was Penhall's turn to testify, I just realized that Tower was killed by
his partner: Frank Farrell. Let's see if I'm correct in the next episode. About Hanson, like I said before,
he should've been fired for repeatedly failing to measure up as a cop. Although the killing was done in
self-defense, he broke the law by breaking and entering Tower's house without search warrant.
Season Four (1989-90)
Rate:
4 out of 5
Viewed:
5/25
5/25:
I don't know what everybody is talking about, but Season Four is the best yet although there are several lousy
episodes.
Johnny Depp may be the headliner with Richard Grieco stealing some of his thunder, but it's Peter DeLuise who's
the heart and soul of the show. His character is endearing, and I didn't mind Hanson's frequent absence at all.
Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:
Draw the Line: I got it right, but the whole setup is too clever to be believable. I was also eyeing
the gun that Frank Farrell had turned in, thinking it might be the murder weapon. Regardless, what a mess the
case has been. First, Harry was shot and went into a coma. Then, Hanson was found guilty of murder and got
sent to prison (shouldn't he be in PC anyway because he's a former cop?). Finally, Booker helped out to
clear Hanson's name and, as a result, lost his job, marking the final episode (for now) for Richard Grieco on
21 Jump Street. At least, he'll have his own TV show called Booker, and
that's where I'm going next. In the meantime, Penhall should've have simmered down in his hate for Booker who
wasn't a bad person overall.
Say It Ain't So, Pete: Hoffs as a detective? Ha! Merely passing the test isn't enough; there's more to
it than that, and she's way, way too young and inexperienced to qualify.
Eternal Flame: I've never seen Thomas Haden Church with hair that long. Mario Van Peebles stars and
directs again. As the club owner, Michael Des Barres is familiar because he recently starred in "High High."
Come from the Shadows: Two films that touch this topic are Salvador
and Romero. Marta is 1,000 times better than Dorothy, and her disappearance
will be followed up in "La Bizca."
God Is a Bullet: I hate this episode. Although what Gordon Brooks did is illegal, I've sided with him.
He just needs to stop with the Gestapo tactics and get police officers in the place of safety monitors. On
the other hand, the rhetoric Mr. Bosley was spouting is exactly the reason why the education system has fallen
apart the last two decades.
Old Haunts in the New Age: An all-time dumb episode...I'm going to pretend this one didn't exist. What's
with the freaking guys from Ghostbusters? Although I've never seen anybody
dress up like Travis Bickle for Halloween before, that's a totally inappropriate costume choice by a cop.
Out of Control: Finally, here's a strong episode that's probably in the top five in series history.
Christine Elise should be familiar to anyone who has watched plenty of Beverly Hills, 90210. Funnily
enough, her character is about the same as well on top of taking interest in somebody who drives a late 60's
model of Ford Mustang like Brandon Walsh; only the color is different. Well, there's no sympathy for her;
she had a death wish and promptly got it.
Stand by Your Man: Sorry, I don't believe Hoffs was ever physically raped. There's no result of
tests in terms of vaginal tears and toxicology (I was thinking she had been drugged through alcohol). At
best, it's an attempted rape, and her version of what happened is still unclear. At any rate, Hoffs needs
to stop looking ridiculous by wearing a wig.
Mike's P.O.V.: Up to now, everything had been shot from the cops' point of view; now, the table is flipped
by going through one of the criminals'. However, the bust was poorly handled by Hanson and Penhall; they should've
called for more cops as it was becoming a very dangerous situation. While Johnny Depp plays an emo, Vince Vaughn
is almost unrecognizable. As for Mike, I wanted to tell him, "Psst...this Robyn Lively ain't worth it. She sucks.
You can do way, way, way better."
Wheels and Deals: It's nice to see Richard Grieco again. The first part is actually episode #8 of
Booker. If you think about it, the whole Crane mess took up five episodes of
21 Jump Street. That's not bad for a saga. I like the tie-in between both TV shows. Vanity gives a better
performance than she did in Action Jackson.
Parental Guidance Suggested: Somebody must have been impressed with
The Boy Who Could Fly. As a result, Mindy Cohn, Jason Priestley, and
Jay Underwood were given parts in this show. Paul Gleason also appears.
Things We Said Today: This is a worthless episode that shouldn't have been conceived in the first place
although Shannen Doherty and Keith Coogan appear. Ioki looks bad as a spurned lover; no real explanation was
given for their breakup. Psst, here's a fashion tip for Ioki and his ex: lose the football-sized shoulder
pads. In regard to Kyle DeGray's issues, that's not Ioki's fault but rather his parents'.
Research and Destroy: It's interesting to see the Chinese issue being played out; back then, nobody would've
thought much about it, but today, it's happening everywhere in top-tier schools. Therefore, you'll never
see anything like that being touched in TV shows or movies nowadays because those in the upper echelon including
politicians and Hollywood are in cahoots with China. Ditto for the production of fentanyl. By the way, that's
Wallace Langham of The Larry Sanders Show.
Change of Heart: What a boneheaded move for Fuller to turn down Denise several times. Eventually, he
accepted. The same goes for not showing the actual kiss between Holly Robinson and Katy Boyer. Bunch of
chickenshits.
Back from the Future: What the hell is this? It's absolutely the worst episode of 21 Jump Street.
I gave up watching five minutes into it.
2245: Well, one thing Ronnie Siebok got right is that Sean Penn did exactly what he asked for by playing
a death row inmate who's about to die of lethal injection in
Dead Man Walking. Once again, it's an outstanding job by Josh Richman
who should've gotten more work during Season Three. In the meantime, Rosie Perez stars.
Hi Mom: It's the Len Bias story, and who cares about him? The school is supposed to represent the University
of Maryland. You won't hear any of the righteous rhetoric being applied to any big-time sports program in the
United States because they are all corrupt. That being said, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar needs to can it.
La Bizca: Oh, look...Shaft helps out Penhall and Hanson. Anyway, it's too bad about what happened to Marta.
I blame the judge in "Come from the Shadows" for allowing it to happen in the first place. Elpidia Carrillo
obviously has a lot of experience with these matters by taking part in Salvador.
Unfinished Business: I'm surprised that Geri Jewell wasn't Emmy-nominated for giving an outstanding
performance. Everything I saw out of her character, especially the frustrations, is extremely spot-on. I guessed
she had cerebral palsy and was correctly confirmed afterwards. It's very interesting to see how people in
wheelchairs are treated differently and the obstacles they have to endure. As for Keith Taylor being revealed
as the attacker (I had him pinpointed after a while), it's too bad because he seemed to be a fine, upstanding guy.
Shirts and Skins: I've been saying it all along: Hoffs isn't cut out to be a cop, let alone a detective.
On the other hand, I didn't see anything wrong with what Ioki did; he acted in self-defense after being verbally
attacked with the intent to provoke violence and simply defused the situation. At least, this move got him
closer to his man for more revealing information.
How I Saved the Senator: A wonderfully boring episode that put me to sleep with each character playing
somebody from various movies: Ioki (Enter the Dragon), Hanson (any
early film short by Charlie Chaplin), Hoffs (Lady Sings the Blues),
Penhall (Dr. No), Blowfish
(The Best of Times with elements of
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and
Friday the 13th), and Fuller (Roy Rogers).
Everyday is Christmas: It's Serpico time in the final episode for
Dustin Nguyen. Like I've said all along, he's been barely featured throughout the show although his screen time
is more than usual this season.
Blackout: The storyline is stupid: a bunch of kids take over a high school and teachers have lost
control. Yeah, sure. Adios, Johnny Depp.
Season Five (1990-91)
Rate:
out of 5
Viewed:
6/25
6/25:
Here's my analysis for some of the following episodes:
Tunnel of Love: No Johnny Depp or Peter DeLuise...*sigh* Eh, get rid of Alexandra Powers
and David Barry Gray; they both stink. Now, that's two wigs for Hoffs...a new record.
Back to School: What the hell was Dean thinking by hitting on an underage girl? Boo! Hiss! Get off the
show. Hanson knew his boundaries and stuck with them, no matter what. Plus, Dean came on to Lina too strong and
then did the same to her brother. Anyone can see he's a cop from a mile away. Anyway, it's the final episode
for Sal Jenco as Blowfish who's among the worst characters in series history. This should've happened many
seasons ago. As for Hoffs, she's extremely dumb! A $220,000 loan at 10% interest for 30 years? Whoo...if she
makes the minimum payments, it'll mean she has paid almost $700,000 for a grossly overvalued small, ugly house
by the year of 2020.